Category: Aging

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Faith, Family, Humor, Marriage and Memories, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Traveling

Driven to Distraction

Many things occur in our neighborhood that are accompanied with sounds and noise. When I am writing the blog (preferable on Monday and Tuesday mornings) I pray, play music and try to tune out all the distractions. Today was no different.

Except, there was this clunk. Then later another clunk. Then two clunks in a row. The sounds were not rhythmic like a worker. Finally, I could not take it and had to go try to find the source of the distracting disturbance. What was causing this commotion?

I went outside. Okay the Royce fertilizer guy was down the street, but not making the noise I kept hearing. Nothing to the left of our house. Nothing else to the right.

I went out back. No workers there that I could detect. The trees have filled out so it is a bit harder to see the other houses. I went into the master bathroom. When I came back to the kitchen there was the sound. A Robin at the sliding glass door!

Earlier we had seen robins on the deck which is unusual. They seemed huge and likely were just puffed against the wind and chill. April 24 and 33 degrees! Go figure! One in particular seemed to be liking the rungs under the black metal porch side table. I noticed piles of gooey waste from that bird. Rinsed them off with glasses of water.

Now Lucky wanted in on the act. I told her to chase the birds off. Instead she decided to roll her ear in the most recent pile of waste. I moved the sliding screen door. I moved the lace curtain thinking perhaps she was seeing a “rival” in the door – her reflection. I put plastic planters upside down in front of the door and brought the water hose over the railing. Back to writing.

Thump. Thump. Really? I went to the door declaring, “I need cat!” and called “Here kitty, kitty.” No response though there had been an orange tabby in the yard recently.

I moved the sliding screen over the door where I thought the bird was knocking. This time I left the dog out on the deck. Of all the places in this wooded area, why our deck? Oh well. Those birds should go next door. That neighbor has a sliding glass door, too. She has a deck and no pets!

Do you know the center verse of the Bible? (These are facts that Christians like to collect.) I think the center verse is no accident as it has kept me from many troubles.

It is better to take refuge in the Lord
    than to put confidence in man.

Psalm 118:8. Another version reads “than to put confidence in mortals.” Take refuge in the LORD. Not the ones about you who you can see and hear, but who will die. The Almighty LORD, King over angel armies, He is to be our refuge.

The photo above was from online. It reminds me! We are going to make the trip of a lifetime (at least for us). When our 50th wedding anniversary rolled around we had planned to go to visit our 50th state. That was when the pandemic hit. Hawaii basically said, “You can come here, but you must quarantine for 2 weeks before you travel about.” My response was I can barely afford 2 weeks in Hawaii, much less a month!” So we put off our trip. Bob was really liking the idea of our 50th state and our 50th anniversary 😦

So this year we will celebrate our 53rd wedding anniversary and visit our 50th state! We have consulted our Hawaii experts the Cookseys. We have met several times with a travel agent. Bob is trying to overcome his discomfort about being on an island (or two) totally surrounded by water. We want to see the flowers, helicopter over the volcanoes, see rainbows, enjoy the tropics, birds, jungle plants, etc. Bob plans to eat lots of seafood. I think pineapple sounds delicious. I am even thinking about taking a vacation from writing the blog. Yikes, (Can she do that?)

We have a dog sitter. A house sitter. And by the time we return we might actually be broke! Our daughter says to go ahead and spend. We just might on this trip!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Just do it, Listen, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Worship

My Younger Friend

I just love that I have gotten to know a much younger neighbor who is also a Christian. We share quite a few things from encouragement for our journey to recipes. Last summer we shared leadership during a summer Bible study group. Kassie brings a much younger version of faith into my life. Her videos have skateboards and jeans with split knees! The song in her post called Fear Not is one that I had to put on replay about 17 times. Such comfort to our souls.

She is a school teacher and is enthusiastic with her students. I have yet to visit her classroom, though I want to very much. She also writes a blog and has given me permission to re-post her writing from the week after Easter. Enjoy!

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In the Stillness

In the Stillness

Take a Rest

When I got home from work today and finally sat down to eat dinner, I knew I was down for the count for the rest of the night. I was thinking darn…I really wanted to get _________ done and I really needed to _____________. Then I thought to myself, why?? I am tired! All I want to do is rest, and that is okay!

This verse immediately came to my mind. It’s been bringing me a lot of peace lately, reminding me to not only rest, but to rest with God and to bring Him my burdens and worries. The song below has the scripture in it and is a reminder I need often.

When my troubles are a little too heavy
Who I can turn to, to share the weight?
When my mind is cluttered and cloudy
Who can I turn to, to clear the way?
Who can I turn to, I turn to You

You said Your yoke is easy
You said Your burden’s light
So I’ll let You
Lead me
For all my life

Some days are long, some work is tough
Whatever I lack You make it up
Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light
You gave me life, You give me love
Whenever I’m dry You fill my cup
Your yoke is easy, Your burden is light

I feel a little lighter just listening to that! I love the line…I will let go and follow empty handed! That’s what rest helps us to do. To remember that even if we take a break, things won’t fall apart…and even if they do, we can pick up the pieces tomorrow 🙂

So I took to google images to find a quote on rest and calling it quits for the day…I found this one that I liked…

Then I found this one that was a little too relatable!! Same quote, whole different kind of mood! Haha

I just wanted to quickly write this for anyone else who like me, needs to hear that it is not only okay, but it is necessary to rest!

The song below has been my absolute favorite for the last week. It is so beautiful and it is Scripture!

Isaiah 41:10 KJV “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

We fear not because God is with us. We can rest because we have God. He strengthens us and helps us…He alone holds us up and rest is an act of surrender!

Enjoy your rest…I’m off to rest too ❤

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Worship

The Work of God

This book is a collection of psalms and prayers with the subtitle ‘A Benedictine Prayer Book.’ I have owned it for a while now, but just recently began using it again. If you need a reading discipline you can cover Proverbs in one month with a chapter a day. You can cover the Psalms in a month with about 5 chapters a day. I broke Psalm 119 into smaller daily sections as it is so very long by itself! Below is my Psalms chart should you want an idea of how I do it.

DayPSALMSPsalm 119DayPSALMSPsalm 119
11-41-81675-79129-136
25-99-161780-84137-144
310-1417-241885-89145-152
415-1925-321990-94153-160
520-2433-402095-99161-168
625-3041-4821100-104169-176
730-3449-5622105-109 
835-3957-6423110-114 
940-4465-7224115-119 
1045-4973-8025120-124 
1150-5481-8826125-129 
1255-5989-9627130-134 
1360-6497-10428135-139 
1465-69105-11229140-144 
1570-74113-12030145-150 
1675-79121-128   
     

After covering the Psalms for a couple years I moved on to other devotions. So coming upon “The Work of God is rather like a refresher course in the Psalms . While reading one section with Psalm 115 and Psalm 116 I thought I would like to blog about it.

Compiled by the Revered Thomas McKenzie, Obl.S.B.

Psalm 115 begins with “Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your Name give glory; because of your love and because of your faithfulness.” Then it goes on later to command Israel and the House of Aaron and “You who fear the Lord to trust in the Lord; he is their help and their shield.” I was taught that when something is written repeatedly in Scripture we are to pay attention to the repetition! Trust in the Lord, He is our help and our shield.

Don’t know about you, but I need all the help I can get. When I am feeling weak and needing strength to get through each day I need to trust the Lord and know He is my help. He is my shield.

Why in 2023 would we need a shield? Most often we think of a shield in terms of warfare and combat. Do you realize we are at war every day because we trust and rely on the Living Lord? The enemy of our souls does everything in His power to undermine our trust in God. He began in the garden of Eden by having Eve and Adam question what God said to them. He continues to this day to bombard us with doubts, fears, unrest about God our Father. Yes, we undoubtedly need a shield about us. You, LORD, are my shield.

The next verses declare:

The Lord has been mindful of us; He will bless us;
He will bless the house of Israel;
He will bless the house of Aaron.
13 He will bless those who fear the Lord,
The small together with the great.

Psalm 115: 12-13 NASB

The final verse in this Psalm says “But we will bless the Lord, from this time forth for evermore. Hallelujah!

Posted on in Aging, Illness and Health, Memories, Poetry, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Poetry and Pain

In church one morning I was drawn to the cry of a baby some place in the congregation. I did not get upset or distressed by it. I seem to be naturally drawn to all babies everywhere. This baby spoke to my soul. Here is the verse that followed that hearing.

Tiny Baby in the Background© 2014 Molly Lin Dutina

Tiny baby in the background
crying, crying
and I am drawn to her
as the tiny baby inside me
cries write it, write it

Struggling under the fog of constant pain
drugs, drugs, 
distraction to nth degree
rock that baby and hold her
comfort her, rock her

Unconditional love and kindness
will prove again the victor
as, given time,
the words will come
Be at peace

I am not usually drugged in order to cope with the chronic pain. Obviously I was that day in 2014.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Aunt Ra

Bob’s Aunts lived in New York City. The last time I saw Aunt Ra alive she was in the hospital suffering from cancer. I wrote this as we were leaving New York to return home to Cincinnati.

Profound Sense © 2000 Molly Lin Dutina

How can I leave you here in your suffering?
Who will escort you when employees
are careless about their duties and
don’t even want to be at work today?
Will someone wrap you in tenderness
when the struggle seems overwhelming?
Can an advocate arise in the
technical discussion of your treatment
with you too weak to speak
transported in agony
beyond concern for choices
all effort towards enduring
present life demands?

As I hold your hand and
smooth your temple in the
radiology holding area
I am reminded that as I
comfort you, I comfort Jesus.
Your gaunt features remind me of
the asceticism of St. Francis.
One niece says you resemble
a female Buddhist monk.

As I turn from you
not wanting to burden you
with my weeping
I marvel at the ability
I am given to walk.
Sobs consume me because
I cannot help you more.
How can I get in a car
put hundreds of miles between us
and be unaffected by your struggle?
I cannot.
So I am reduced to a 
profound sense of helplessness.

Others’ eyes avert from my
weeping countenance.
I cannot stop the tears
and I do not try.
The ingratitude of those not helpless
assaults my brain and senses.
“Christ above you, Christ within you,
Christ beneath you.
Christ on your right, Christ on your left
Christ in every eye that sees you
Christ in every voice that speaks to you.”


I marvel
even as I weep
that I can peel and eat
an orange
blow my nose
drink a Coke
think of you
-all virtually unaided-
except for the life force
that keeps me from
disease, suffering, death.
I use every tissue in my possession.
I mop my face with napkins.
Swollen eyes, red, bulbous nose
so what?

In the hospital corridors they stare.
The brisk breeze at the bus stop
startles me – I am alive.
On the bus they wonder
why I cry and sniff
St. Patrick’s Hymn rolls through my soul
“Christ with you, Christ before you,
Christ behind you.
I arise today through a mighty strength
The invocation of the Trinity
Through belief in the Threeness
Through confession of the oneness
Towards the Creator.”
And I commend you into those
Holy Hands and keeping.

Be certain to listen to at least the second minute of the music!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Moving, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Oswald Chambers The Next Step

March 6th My Utmost for His Highest

Amid a crowd of paltry things … in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses. 2 Cor. 6:4.

It takes Almighty grace to take the next step when there is no vision and no spectator—the next step in devotion, the next step in your study, in your reading, in your kitchen; the next step in your duty, when there is no vision from God, no enthusiasm and no spectator. It takes far more of the grace of God, far more conscious drawing upon God to take that step, than it does to preach the Gospel. Every Christian has to partake of what was the essence of the Incarnation, he must bring the thing down into flesh-and-blood actualities and work it out through the finger-tips. We flag when there is no vision, no uplift, but just the common round, the trivial task. The thing that tells in the long run for God and for men is the steady persevering work in the unseen, and the only way to keep the life uncrushed is to live looking to God. Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the Risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to damp you. Continually get away from pettiness and paltriness of mind and thought out into the thirteenth chapter of St. John’s Gospel.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest: Selections for the Year (Grand Rapids, MI: Oswald Chambers Publications; Marshall Pickering, 1986).

I once heard a wise woman speak the truth that what you see on the exterior of a Christian only partially gives you a hint as to what has occurred in that persons’ life with God. Chambers calls it “the next step when there is no spectator.”

We each live out our life with God by ourselves. Yes, there are others around about us, but we carry what Bonhoeffer calls the Cost of Discipleship. We walk alone with Christ. Are you willing to take the next step with Jesus? When there is no vision will you be obedient to the last thing He asked you to do? Many times we want to side-step the last thing and move along. Too often that step you want to get around may be a foundation for you to stand strong further along the journey. Would you let your impatience or discomfort ruin your foundation?

“It takes far more of the grace of God, far more conscious drawing upon God to take that step, than it does to preach the Gospel,” said Chambers. Most of us cannot imagine preaching the Gospel in front of a crowd. Are we willing to draw upon God and take the next step in our journey?

Ouch, true confession here. My next step is to take better care of myself physically by doing the prescribed physical therapy home exercises daily. But my body cries out that they often make me feel worse, not better. Such is the life of one with fibromyalgia and other ailments. The stretches for plantar fasciitis have shown me that they do have a cumulative effect for the good. Shoulder stretches? not so much! I need to do them. As I age I need to do them more, no matter my whining excuses. I need more grace to begin again each day. I need to do these in order to serve God better. God needs me to do these as part of my obedience to my doctors .

Oswald tells me “Ask God to keep the eyes of your spirit open to the Risen Christ, and it will be impossible for drudgery to damp you.” Oh LORD, help me think of You as I do what I need to do for this body to be more flexible and carry less pain. Help me to push back against the drudgery and my dislike of physical exercise, counting repetitions , etc. I yield to steady persevering work in the unseen. For Your glory and honor. Amen.

How about you? Is there something you do not want to do that the LORD is asking of you? How will you proceed?

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Marriage and Memories, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks

The Circle Maker

Several years ago I read the above mentioned book. It opened my eyes to several things about myself. I grew up in an alcoholic family. They said before his death my dad was “a heavy drinker.” In AA that is called an alcoholic. He died when I was eleven so we will never know for certain. My mother, on the the other hand, was described to me as ‘a full-blown alcoholic before I was born.’

As a child I was oblivious to most of this though there are some memories of bad behavior due to alcohol. Mostly I remember being disappointed over and over and over again. I was raised with a heavy dose of criticism and inconsistent rules. My mother’s memory would waver different ways. Things she told me when drunk she often would not remember when sober, and vice versa.

“Yes, you may do so and so,” turned into “I never told you that! Where do you get these things?” It was no use trying to jog her memory. I usually did not even try.

Many, many years later, reading the quote below brought some insight and healing.

“Disappointment is like dream defibrillation. If we respond the right way, disappointment can actually restore our prayer rhythm and resurrect our dreams.”

Mark Batterson, The Circle Maker

American Heritage Dictionary gives this definition: “A defibrillator delivers a controlled electric shock to restore lack of coordination of the contraction of muscle tissue of the large chambers of the heart.”

After living with so much misunderstanding. disappointment and confusion my heart did not have a steady beat to believe in myself or my own sanity. I left home often wondering if I was nuts or was it just ‘them’.

I had dreams of wanting to be a writer, wanting to serve God, entertained ideas of being a school teacher, getting married, having children, etc. I also left home KNOWING I did not want to raise kids like I was raised. I was determined to do things differently. When I met Robert Dutina we were literally in love at first sight. We were both tired of playing the dating game. Basically our theme was “This is who I am. If you like me, great. If not, no problem. Just move along.”

We were enamored within a few hours. He lived miles away so we only dated on weekends. I did not have a phone. We met in July, got engaged in August and married in September. What has held us together for 52 years? Love, honesty with ourselves and others and determination to do things differently than our parents did!

I do believe that the disappointments of my upbringing spurred me on to find other ways to live. My faith carried me through then and now. Batterson wrote that disappointment is like dream defibrillation. Yes, I so agree. The Lord helped me find my prayer rhythm and resurrected my dreams.

Even if God doesn’t answer the way you want, you still need to praise through. That is when it’s most difficult to praise God, but that is also when our praise is most pure and most pleasing to God.

Circle Maker

Prayer has the power to resurrect dead dreams and give them new life – eternal life. I continue to praise God even though my upbringing was chaotic. I continue to praise even when my children face difficulties. Even as Bob and I face aging challenges,we praise Him for the strength to make it through each day. We praise Him for insight and humor.

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.

Psalm 150:6 NIV
Posted on in Aging, Humor, Marriage and Memories

Cooking with Senior Citizens

Suddenly I was so cold I wanted to climb inside the coffee mug, not just hold it in my hands! Such is my life. Then a few minutes later I am wanting iced coffee and peeling off layers of sweater or sweatshirt. Bob says my thermostat is broken.

Years ago I bought us an electric yogurt maker. It is a great money saver when milk goes on sale. It is a small electric device. First you must scald and process the milk. I use 2% or even 1% milk. Placing 4 cups of milk in a glass measure I cook it in microwave for 9 minutes. That scalds the milk. Then pour into plastic container from yogurt maker. Chill in an ice bath for about 11 minutes until it cools to 110 degrees. Add 1 cup plain yogurt. Plug in maker. Add yogurt container. Cook 8-10 hours. Let cool. Strain if we want it more like Greek yogurt. Add berries, sweetener, etc. Enjoy!

I made some recently. After Bob had a serving and we strained it more I decided to make another batch as I still had extra milk from a sale. Went though the process and placed it in the cooker. We went to run errands for a few hours. I came home and the appliance was cold. Well, Dodo me, I never plugged it in!

Since his eye surgeries at times Bob can’t see lines on the liquid measure. Eventually he figures out what dollar store spectacles to wear so he can see the lines. He is anxious to get his refraction done so he can get new glasses. Maybe things will be easier in the kitchen then!

Bob mastered his Mom’s Blonde Brownies recipe. Then he improved the recipe by adding sea salt caramel morsels. They are a delicious hit. Everyone who tastes them loves them. And now the store quit selling the morsels? So did the other two stores! WHAT?! We bought some plain Kraft caramel pieces about the size of morsels.We will let you know how they turn out.

Notice the price of eggs lately? Unless you never go to the grocery or cook, you likely have noticed. A year or two ago I learned how to make hard boiled eggs in the Instant Pot pressure cooker. I asked Bob if he would want to learn how to do eggs in the Instant Pot. He agreed that would be good. I did not supervise him closely as I was cooking something else. I just sort of told him the steps. They eggs did not seem to cook long enough. We tried it again. I wondered if I need a new Instant Pot? Finally we took them out. I cracked one it was barely soft boiled. As we dismantled the Instant Pot I realized he had left one stainless pan inside the cooker pan and then put in the water and egg holder. I had done that once before, too. The eggs do not cook correctly with that arrangement. The water and the egg holder have to go in the stainless pot provided with the cooker. We managed to eat up those under-cooked eggs with frying or more cooking period. Frustrating with the price of eggs! I determined to buy him more eggs ( they are his favorite food). The prices are high right now, but egg merchants assure us the price will come down soon. His next batch was flawless!

We both insist on laughing together when these things occur. We are likely to make more mistakes not fewer as we age. At least for now we make it fun!

Even to your old age I am he,
    even when you turn grey I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
    I will carry and will save.

Isaiah 46:4 RSV
Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Humor, Traveling

Humor of London Broil

When we visited California recently my sister-in-law had her husband grilling London Broil. It was quite tasty. We do not buy lots of beef, in fact hardly any. At the grocery I saw London Broil in the mark down bin so I bought it thinking, “Okay, I can learn to make this.” Looking online one woman said hers was really tough. A writer from Bon Appetit gave advice how to prepare this beef so it would not be tough.

He wrote: “Try this: Rub steak with the cut side of a halved garlic clove and liberally season both sides of your London broil with salt and pepper. Let it sit at room temperature on a rack set inside a rimmed baking tray for at least one hour. The salt will dissolve and will be absorbed into the meat. Prepare a grill for medium-high heat (or heat a grill pan over medium-high). Grill the first side for four minutes, then rotate 45° from its original spot on the grill (but don’t turn it over) in order to get the crosshatch grill marks. Continue to grill for another three to four minutes, then flip and repeat the process, until it’s charred and medium-rare. An instant-read thermometer should register 125°F when it’s ready—about 10 to 12 minutes total. Let it rest about 10 minutes before cutting, and serve it with a pat of butter (I’d say herb-lemon zest compound butter if you’re feeling adventurous).”

The instructions lay on the counter for a week. Finally, Bob asked me if I was going to make this and did I need help? I said sure let’s make it and I might be able to prepare it on my own. That afternoon we got busy on projects in our shared office. When I realized it was time to prepare dinner I had not let the meat sit for the hour! Figured I could still get it done if we loosened up what time we ate dinner. It was cold outside and a little rainy. Bob pulled the grill on the deck around. I said to put it so it was facing the sliding glass door.

He fed and walked the dog while I prepped the meat, set the table, warmed potatoes, made salad, etc. Having never done this before and not wanting to create steak too tough to eat I was following directions meticulously. I went outside to open the valve on the gas tank for the grill. It was cold out there, but the grill was having trouble getting to even 150 degrees. I asked Bob to check it. My thinking was it may be out of fuel? Sure enough, it was. By then it was dark, and cold and I said let me just cook this in the broiler. Not unheard of online, but disappointing after looking forward to the grill in January!

So I fired the broiler on low and proceeded to time the cooking. What a joke. Here I was planning this special meal and wound up cooking it in the kitchen! “The best laid plans ….” It was not seared with grill marks as nicely as if we had cooked it on the grill. Bob said it was delightful. For my taste, it was underdone but the microwave helped a bit with that.

There were two pieces of meat in the package. I froze one of them. Bob replaced the gas tank on the grill a few days later. Some sunny day when craving beef, we will try the recipe again.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Who’s Really in Charge Here?

Every Wednesday at noon in the state of Ohio sirens are tested by the Emergency Alert System and National Weather Service.

On radio devices and television the following message is usually broadcast, “This is a test, this is only a test for the next 60 seconds…”

Recently while shopping I heard a child in some other lane having a meltdown. Sounded like the child needed a nap! It is so hard not to be embarrassed when a child loses control and blasts the surrounding area with its discontent.

Then I remembered that when my children were very young and had a meltdown I would often recite to myself or to my husband, “This is a test. This is only a test. For the next 60 seconds WE’LL SEE WHO IS REALLY IN CHARGE HERE.”

In other words, would we cave to the meltdown or do what was needed in that moment. Care for our family’s needs or react to societal pressure to hush that child at any cost. Oh the troubles of parenting.

And now, there are no more children in our home. There are times though when my wailing over ‘things as they are’ rather than how I WANT them to be must be quieted before the LORD. I am trying to become aware of my discontent and realize it is an affront to my faith in God’s goodness. He is my Shepherd and is able to keep me regardless of the circumstances. I can create much misery and suffering in my life by wishing for things to be other than they are.

In Resilient by John Eldredge he insists we must “Keep our head.” On Page 34 he points out the following

“Let your fears, anxieties, anger or rage alert you that you’ve been taken hostage; stop and get your bearings.”

Resilient

We could add brooding and other moodiness, too, as things that can take us hostage. In other words, to keep you head focus upon Jesus and the Word of God. Is this fear, etc. you are experiencing from God or the enemy of our souls? From self or the Father?

For the weapons of our warfare are not merely human, but they have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments 5 and every proud obstacle raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 NRSV

Are you willing to use the weapons you have been given? Will you fix your eyes upon Jesus in such a way as to glorify His name regardless of how you feel about any given situation? We are given warning and instruction in Isaiah.

Rise up, you women who are at ease, hear my voice;
    you complacent daughters, listen to my speech.

Isaiah 32:9

Am I at ease? Complacent? Stuck in my feelings about things as they are? And if we are willing to listen to the voice of the LORD there is a promise at the end of the passage.

The effect of righteousness will be peace,
    and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust for ever.

Isaiah 32:17

Who couldn’t use more peace, quietness and trust? All of this is a discipline, an awareness of my thinking. It requires a determination not to just let my mind run wild with “if onlys” and other such nonsense. Things are as they are and my job is to obey Hebrews 12.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight and the sin that clings so closely, and let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God.

3 Consider him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you may not grow weary or lose heart. 4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.

Hebrews 12:1-4 NRSV

Am I willing? Take this old girl-woman and help her to submit to God’s highest and best for her? Yes I am, with God’s help!