I have been printing my poetry and placing it in the collection notebook. I am amazed that so far there 168 poems in the notebook. Some are a few lines long. Some are many verses. Some still need editing (not a task I like to do)!
Having spent much of Lent reflecting on Jesus asleep in the boat with me and the other disciples terrified in the storm I think it is perhaps time to share this poem. I am actually uncertain which poems i have shared and which ones I have not. Yes, I should have taken greater care with keeping a record of these!
23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24 A windstorm suddenly arose on the sea, so great that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep. 25 And they went and woke him up, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” 26 And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a dead calm. 27 They were amazed, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?”
Recently I attended a soul collage one day retreat led by Mooydeen Frees, retired Deacon of the Episcopal church and so many other titles and skills. She shared this blessing written by Jan Richardson. I was so moved that I want to share it with you, too. I pray you will read it once. And then read it again prayerfully with yourself in mind.
Blessing the Body
The blessing takes one look at you and all it can say is holy.
Holy hands, Holy face, Holy feet, Holy everything In between.
Holy even in pain. Holy even when weary. In brokenness, holy. In shame, holy still.
Holy in delight. Holy in Distress. Holy when being born. Holy when we lay it down at the hour of our death.
So friend, Open your eyes (holy eyes). For one moment see what this blessing sees, this blessing that knows how you have been formed and knit together in wonder and in love.
Welcome this blessing that folds its hands in prayer when it meets you; receive this blessing that wants to kneel in reverence before you; you who are temple, sanctuary, home for God in this world.
Isn’t that wonderful? Jan Richardson is new to me but I would say she certainly has a ministry writing blessings! “The blessing takes one look at you and all it can say is holy.”
Regardless of what you may think of yourself at times; regardless of what the accuser says about you, know that God loves you always. Are you willing to align your thinking with His?
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
I cannot approach Resurrection Sunday without remembering the work of Jesus on earth and in Heaven. He suffered on our behalf, was crucified, dead and buried. He rose again and is crowned the King of All, holding the keys of death and hell.
The twenty-four elders fall down before Him who sits on the throne and worship Him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
11 “You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being.”
Revelation 4:10-11 NIV
Do you know that as a Christian you are crowned?
9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10 Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
1 Peter 2:9-10
To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, 6 and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.
Revelation 1:5-6 NIV
Royalty generally wears a crown. Jesus is crowned over all. You have a crown, too.
Lilias Trotter wrote as interesting take on this in her book Parables of the Cross. Writing about the calyx which is the outer part of a flower, the sepals. As the sepal folds back to allow the flower to emerge it typically remains like a cup to hold the flower. As the flower proceeds to create seeds the sepal becomes a cup-like vessel to hold them.
She writes:
“Have you ever noticed how often the emptied calyx grows into a diadem, and they stand crowned for their ministry as if they gloried in their power to give as the time draws near?
“Even here in measure the faithfulness unto death and the crown of life go together: even here, if we suffer, we shall also reign with Him.”
But we do see Jesus, who was made lower than the angels for a little while, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.
Hebrews 2:9 NIV
Diadem, crown, royalty. He made a way for us to have fellowship with the Father. He made a where where there was no way. We are His and He is ours.
When I am trying to cope with unrelenting pain I often tell Bob it is as if I am being ground to powder. Reading Elisabeth Elliot’s book A Path Through Suffering I was blessed by her paraphrase of Job 7:19, 10:8-9.
Can’t you take your eyes off me? Won’t you leave me alone long enough to swallow my spit? You shaped me and made me; now you’ve turned to destroy me. You kneaded me like clay, now you’re grinding me to a powder.
Elisabeth Elliot
Unless you have endured pain that will not let up, no matter what you do or medication you may swallow, you might not get the idea of being ground to powder. It is as if every fiber of your being that was once solid, is being changed to powder, without substance, mere dust.
Early in my diagnosis of chronic illness I came across this quote. It has helped me endure some hours of ceaseless pain, turning loose of my clenched senses and releasing myself to the loving light of my Savior.
O God, grant that I may understand that it is You who are painfully parting the fibers of my being in order to penetrate to the very marrow of my substance and bear me away within Yourself. -Teilhard de Chardin, SJ
Teilhard de Chardin
While reading the last few days I was reminded (I do not remember in which book) that from dust we came and to dust we will return. Of course, you remember that Jesus also performed a miraculous healing by spitting and mixing it with dust, then rubbing it on a man’s eyes. (John 9) So why not use dust to awaken me to His presence and power even in the midst of pain. Even if it be the dust I call myself?
When you feel as if life is grinding you down to a powder how do you respond? Or do you just react? Elisabeth says of Job on page 52 “A living proof of a living faith was required, not only for Job’s friends, but for unseen powers in high places. Job’s suffering provided the context for a demonstration of trust. … To us who have the New Testament, it would seem that Job had very little to go on, yet he kept on talking to God.”
Job kept on talking to God, even when things looked bleak. In Job 13:15a Job declared, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Have you come to that extent of trust? Have you placed your all on the altar and left it there for God to use as He sees fit?
I had a friend named Char. She was slowly dying of lung cancer. I met her when I was giving a series of group lessons in crochet. She wanted to speak to me alone. We met several times at her house. One thing she really wanted the answer to had to do with prayer. She told me she talked to God all day long about everything. She asked me if she was “doing prayer right.” I assured her that nothing would please the Father more than to be included in every aspect of our life. Elliot pointed out that “Job kept on talking to God.” Are you continually talking to God? Do you invite Him in to your thoughts and activities throughout the day? Once your morning prayers and devotionals are over are you finished with God?
If I let myself feel the pain will I become intoxicated with the pain? Overwhelmed by the pain will my life then become JUST PAIN with no other sensation, value, or purpose? Will I be consumed with gauging the pain sitting in the pain walking in the pain? All my perceptions dulled except to pain under pain in pain pain through and through pain behind me ahead of me pain on all sides of me pain above me beneath me life reduced to pain in every cell pain Sleeplessness because of pain Restless when sleeping due to pain
If I acknowledge the pain will I have fortitude and courage to live beyond the pain, Somehow given grace to override the pain, not censor it ignore it deny it but live a life in the midst of pain always haunted by pain? Pain of bone deterioration, random muscle pain, unwarranted from any strain or excess.
Pain my life drugged or not my partner companion in my genes product of ancestral history or just misfortune?
For years my life has been pain denial pain drugs pain hope pain drained-of-hope pain denial I am afraid that no, the pain will never end, or, even worse, the pain will increase envelop, dictate, control my life.
There, I've written it. Many marvel that I'm so busy try to accomplish so much. They are not acquainted with my relentless task master who drives me on with fear that my capacity to accomplish anything will one day be diminished to near zero.
Jesus awoke in the boat and said, "Why are you so afraid?"
Yet then, through Him, I'll arise a phoenix intercessor on behalf of God's children engaged perhaps in the biggest battle of life to date. A supreme calling more valuable than my do-ings. With bones cracking, muscles aching, nerves shooting red hot signals to nowhere and everywhere outer body diminishing while inner woman draws upon her experience with the living, dynamic, omnipotent Father and she is renewed, remade in His image, inhabited daily, hourly, in every cell of her being by Holy Spirit overshadowed, indwelt in spite of all this carnal container can develop - a woman of God passing through journeying towards home where all sorrow, all tears, and all pain will be no more. Forever inhabited by Holy Spirit in rapturous adoration of His glory peace and mercy. Even so, Lord Jesus, I offer myself a living sacrifice unto You. Renew my mind according to the word and transform even this pain.
The ogre crumbles, rivulets of plaster dust falling from its once daunting facade gathering in powder clumps revealing its paltry nature.
1 Peter 4:19 encourages us to "entrust yourself to your faithful Creator." I pray you and I will both do this constantly regardless of how we feel.
This app really helped me focus on the Lord during my recovery. Bob and I had first been introduced to the practice of Lectio Divina while at the Episcopal church.
The app Lectio 365 is inspired by the “practice of Lectio Divina. Each morning the devotional follows the simple P. R. A. Y. rhythm:
P:ause to be still. R:ejoice with a Psalm and R:eflect on Scripture. A:sk for God’s help Y:ield to His will in your life.
“On Sundays you’ll take a break from the normal routine to pray a different kind of Sabbath prayer.
“The app celebrates heroes of faith on Feast Days, marks significant moments in the church calendar, and welcomes guest hosts throughout the year.”
They also offer an evening version that differs in text from the morning one. I found myself using that evening version while trying to fall asleep in the recliner. It was quite helpful for turning my eyes to the Lord and finding a place to relax in His arms. It is so easy when in pain to clench against the pain, and finding release from that clenching is such a relief!
Here is one thought I recorded in my very few journaling notes during that time.
The Greek text uses a word which can mean breath, spirit, or wind. So, ‘the wind blows where it wishes’ can also mean, ‘the Spirit breathes where He wishes’. The Spirit, like the wind, is unpredictable. I cannot control Him. Sometimes the Spirit blows like a gentle breeze. Or He may come as a hurricane. I have to accept that I’ll never know what He might do next. Lectio 365
The Spirit breathes where He wishes. Yes, Lord, please breathe on me I pray.
24-1-12 Molly’s Journal
Looking out the window by my prayer chair I was able to watch the toy pinwheels as the Lord of the wind made them dance. He is always with us!
Rest in His love and consider changing up one of your devotional practices for a bit. He is able to meet us wherever we are, but there are times when we fall into a rut spiritually and can use a boost from a change of format. Try some thing new a for the remainder of the Lenten season. You might find new meaning to your relationship with the God of our Fathers.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 