Yesterday I pulled down a branch on our oak tree to get a better look at the acorn growing on a higher branch. Indeed, it is a burr oak acorn! So pleased. The story continues:
One little acorn speaking to me so loudly about “the site of your tent, the curtains of your habitation, stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” This acorn calls to you also. Where are you holding back in your life? Who are you hiding your affection from? Those in your immediate family need and want to hear from you. Though you might never have been one to speak in the past, they need to know your heart. They are craving a word from you, an insight into your feelings, and how your actions relate to your emotions. They want to know you, beyond the superficial shell that you present. They are hungry to truly know and understand your deepest self. Those whom God has placed in your daily life are there for a purpose also. Examine the site of your tent. Is there a way you can stretch out the curtain and place of your habitation? Ask the Father for the courage to move forward. Pray He will show you how to lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. Joyce Meier says you are to “deposit yourself with God and let God use you to bless others.”
Isaiah 54 goes on in verses 4 and 5 to say:
Do not fear, for you will not be ashamed; do not be discouraged, for you will not suffer disgrace; for you will forget the shame of your youth, and the disgrace of your widowhood you will remember no more. For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth He is called.
Usually the greatest fear in becoming new is that people won’t like us. “People pleasing” quashes the move of God more often than the devil ever attempted. Here the Word assures us that if we will try, God will come alongside and help us to do what we could not do in our own strength. We “will NOT BE ASHAMED.” Powerful promise there; but first, we have to try.
Can we truly begin to comprehend the magnitude of “your Maker is your Husband?” That is an intimacy few of us reach in this lifetime, and here it is offered in the Old Testament. Now through the New Covenant we have the indwelling Holy Spirit to make this promise a reality. The hard little cap of humanity can hold back the power of God that rests within each true believer. When we choose to put aside the cap, like the one on the Bur Acorn, our lives can feed the hungry multitudes. Remember acorns used to be valuable to people as a food source.
The Internet yielded information on how to make them palatable today. “Native Americans made acorns much more palatable by first blanching the oak nuts (in boiling water) with wood ashes to remove a bitter taste associated with tannins.” The method involves boiling in water with ashes to leach away the tannins and make the nut meal sweeter.
You cannot receive what your Husband has for you as long as you are clutching your unfulfilled dreams in both hands. Take the ashes of your unfulfilled dreams and offer them to God.
your unfulfilled dreams
Living Water
Open your hands to Him. As Christians, we also need to be cleansed with water. Water is mentioned 79 times in 70 verses in the New Testament. Jesus promised that He would give us living water. Another set of instructions for the acorns says they need to be boiled or roasted or both to make them palatable. We are told in Scripture that we may have to go through fire. I have always thought that perhaps like Reynolds Wrap, we go through fire so that we are ‘oven tempered for flexible strength.’ Hebrews 12: 28-29 says
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our “God is a consuming fire.”
To use acorns as food we are to “collect the acorns in the fall, when ripe. Remove shells and caps. The shells will come off easier if you first slit with a sharp knife.” OUCH! That sounds an awful lot like death of the seed. Crucifixion. To offer myself according to Romans 12:1-2:
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
It seems that nothing will do short of that sharp knife and taking off that shell. So that Bur Acorn led me to ponder. Then to pray. To look up Scripture and pray some more. To begin to risk moving out of where I was comfortable and risk giving parts of my life to others. I have not been ashamed! I am getting to know my Maker a little better as my Husband. In addition, my earthly husband concurs that this is a good thing.
The preparation directions continue saying that “after boiling you may toast the acorns in a 350 degree oven for another hour. They can then be eaten as they are or ground into a flour.” Some people seem to get a harder Christian walk than others do. Looking at the comparative value of acorns as nuts to be eaten or acorns as ground into flour, I can see momentarily the sense in that harder walk. Flour can be used for many more products than nuts can. Of course, the Father will produce breads, cakes, pies, gravy thickeners, coatings for all sorts of products, an endless variety of things with flour. Nuts though have a limited use. Be encouraged if your walk is one where the grinding into flour seems to be the norm. Your flour will go further to spread the kingdom than the acorn that never let its shell be opened. Your flour will go further than the roasted nut that was simply eaten as a snack food. God knows the plans He has for you, as stated in Jeremiah 29:11-14a
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to You. You will seek me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD."
Now I am amused by my pronunciation of the American Indian name… u’tahu can…. perhaps it is something like “You Twah you can.” You saw you can do this. You saw it through months of prayer and preparation through the Scriptures. You saw it through the Holy Spirit opening your eyes to the Father’s desire. Open your heart in love to those around you. Move beyond the usual limited communications and surface talk. Get really intimate with God and then with others. Let the nourishment that your life can be help others to grow into something terrific for the Kingdom. You saw you can through this simple illustration. Now will you?
Next time you see an acorn, ponder how the cap is fitting that covers your acorn life and your rich innermost being. Are you ready to strip away the cap and expose and expand that life for the Lord to use? The old saying is still true, “Mighty oaks from little acorns grow.”
When the tree first arrived to our property I made a point of picking off the galls that were attached to the leaves. We have fed this tree and watered it. The soil here is difficult for anything to grow in. The builders did not help by mixing in huge rocks! In spite of the odds the tree is beginning to thrive! I was thrilled when I realized (once again) that this is a Burr Oak tree.
In 2002, long before we lived here, I wrote a piece about the inspiration I gained from a Bur Oak acorn. I will post it over 2 days, giving you time to ponder the message and trying not to bore you with a LONG read!
Often while I am walking prayerfully, my attention will be drawn to something around me. I will pick up the object and continue on my prayer walk. So it was during the mild February of 2002 while I was on retreat and came across a Bur Oak acorn. As I held it in my hand, continuing my walk and praying, I knew it would unfold its mysteries to me in the days or months to come. As I left the retreat grounds, I placed the acorn on the console of my car. For many months it rode right next to me with this scripture ringing out from it’s hard, pointy cover:
“Enlarge the site of your tent and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back; lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.” Isaiah 54:2 NRSV
If you are not familiar with the Bur Oak (also at times spelled Burr oak) here is a short history taken from various Internet resources. The tree is tall, fairly slow growing, long-lived, and highly desirable for windbreaks, shelterbelts, and ornamental use. It has an impressive crown with a massive trunk and stout branches. The bur oak adapts to various soils where other oaks fail. The tree is tolerant of urban conditions. The bur will bear acorns in the nursery in ten years. It has strong wood and is good for timber.
The acorn itself is classified as a nut, because of its bony pericarp, and is actually the fruit of the oak tree. Particular to the genus Quercus, the stem broadens to the cupule or cap that holds the oak seed and fruit in place. The burr oak, so named because of its characteristic large seeds or acorns, was known as u’tahu can in the Native American tongue of the Lakota people, meaning acorn stem tree. More than half of the one-inch acorn is enclosed in a fringed, spiny cupule. Native Americans used them as an important dietary item with great storage capability and mobility. Wildlife, including turkeys, blue jays, squirrels, and deer also utilize acorns as a food source that is rich in carbohydrates and fats.
Today we like Bur Oaks for their adaptability to urban conditions. Indians and animals used them for food. What did God want me to see? I see an acorn with an almost impenetrable cover. Hard and dried and in it’s own way thorny. After months of looking at this Bur acorn, I began to realize that this acorn could be me. I could have my fruit “nearly completely covered by a rough, frilled cap.” Though I may ripen “in early to mid-autumn” the fruit would be unpalatable and inaccessible unless I let others have access to the fruit God has given to me.
There are at least two ways we can view the acorn: as a nut/fruit to eat or as a seed to plant. Animals unwittingly spread the Bur oak trees by burying stashes of the nuts and then forgetting where they put them. These nut-seeds may germinate into new oak trees. Therefore, I have choices here! I can remain one tough acorn, almost completely covered with a hard facade, or I can risk opening and revealing what is within. Paul made the same challenge to the Corinthians.
We have spoken frankly to you Corinthians; our heart is wide open to you.There is no restriction in our affections, but only in yours. In return–I speak as to children–open wide your hearts also. 2 Corinthians 6:11-13 NRSV
Moreover, the Living Bible makes it a bit clearer:
Oh, my dear Corinthian friends! I have told you all my feelings; I love you with all my heart. Any coldness still between us is not because of any lack of love on my part, but because your love is too small and does not reach out to me and draw me in. I am talking to you now as if you truly were my very own children. Open your hearts to us! Return our love! 2 COR 6:11-13
My choice to open or remain closed to my Christian brothers and sisters around me is always my choice: daily, weekly, monthly.
The right choice was strongly recommended by our Lord in John 12. He is speaking here about a grain of wheat. An acorn, as the seed is not a far stretch. Thinking of the nut-seed as buried in the ground read John 12.
“I am telling you the truth: If one grain of wheat does not fall into the ground and die, it will always be just one grain of wheat, but if the grain dies, it will produce a large cluster.” And in Simple English “Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. “ John 12:24-25 NRSV
“Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24 New King James
It seems, through comparison of these three translations, that if I am to open to those around me I must fall into the ground, die to being just a nut seed, and live to becoming a tree plant. Truly a transfiguration! I may choose to remain just an acorn – alone – yet still an acorn. Alternatively, I may choose to move on to the next phase of living that God had in mind when He blew life into my being. Falling into the ground and dying will mean willingly removing my outer impenetrable cover, stripping away my surface persona to become the best that is within me. Hard and dried and in its own way thorny, the familiarity of the husk has become almost more desirable than the risk of the unknown I will face as a growing plant. The Gardener calls me on. (John 15:1)
Do we find this so surprising, that Jesus would ask us to die to our familiar ways and become something new with His help and guidance? Wasn’t He asked to die on our behalf and take on a new life form by our heavenly Father? Constantly, the Father left the task before Jesus as a choice. Jesus chose to become the firstborn from the dead. (Colossians 1:18) He leads the way for us.
Are you willing to yield yourself in surrender to His plans? Will you open wide your heart to His calling and the tasks God sets before you?
Last Sunday we drove down to Bernheim Forest in Kentucky to see the sculptures of Giants. We also saw a lovely purple flower I did not recognize. I thought I was saving the flower information to write about on this blog. I inadvertently posted it and most of you were likely scratching your head, asking, “What??”
Ruellia nudiflora, commonly known as Violet Ruellia, is a member of the Acanthaceae family and is native to several states in the United States, including Texas. This plant is also known as Common Wild Petunia, Violet Wild Petunia, or Wild Petunia. Violet Ruellia is a low-growing perennial that can reach heights of up to two feet tall.
It is known for its beautiful violet flowers that bloom in the summer and fall. Violet Ruellia can be found growing in a variety of habitats, including prairies, meadows, and open woods. It is also a popular plant for pollinators such as bees and butterflies.”
Violet Wild Petunia
What drew us to the Forest in the first place was these wooden sculptures of giants.
Entitled “The Boy”
as you can see he is a boy of great size!
Adults and children with “The Boy”
We had a nice turkey sandwich lunch with fruit at the Visitor Center and took off to fidn the Mother and Girl sculptures. We got lost in the maze of unmarked roads. Finally made it back to the visitor center area and asked a man if he was familiar with the park and could direct us to see the sculpture. He was quite helpful.
If you hike the main trail it is 2 miles and most of it through a meadow. Being a clear sunny day and considering our ages and my feet we opted to drive nearer to the other 2 sculptures. The woman was reclining under a tree and depicted as quite pregnant!
We heard many visitors comment on the giants toenails!
Being a hot and sunmy day I was glad she could rest in the shade!
We walked part of the way to the “girl.” Decided we were tired and as the trail went up and down hills we were finished for the day. If and when we visit again we will know just where to stop and likely begin with the girl next time. Overall, we were glad we made the trip and finally saw “The Giants.” There is supposed to be a similar exhibit in the Dayton, Ohio area. Hopefully we will venture there one day to compare the two parks.
Bob and I were eating dinner the other day and I noticed our kitchen counter top was littered with the color of summer! I took only a mental photo. A day or so later a neighbor gifted me with an Athena melon or as they are called locally an Indiana melon. Sweeter than cantaloupe, football shaped, in place of the round shape of the cantaloupe. Its flesh is drippy, lush orange.
When I noticed the bounty on the counter at lunch time the next day I did not get up to straighten the counter, just snapped these photos for the blog.
In the foreground are the zinnias Bob grew from seed. Only one plant came up, but what a beauty. The wind from a thunderstorm had knocked one branch to the ground. I picked that branch and a few other blooms to make a vaseful.
Almost in the background is the uncut Athena melon. The kitchen was redolent with its fragrance.
In the center of the photo are ripe peaches and a small vase with one zinnia and nasturtium blooms.
I stuck some nasturtium seeds in the ground this year hoping for the best! That means hoping for lots of flowers. When we were first married someone planted nasturtiums in the old fashioned driveway that had 2 cement tracks for tires. I have since thought of them as our newly wed flowers. Knowing my physical being is not what it used to be I comforted myself with the thought that as long as I can poke a hole in the ground (with a dandelion digger no less) and stick a seed in the ground, we can have nasturtiums well into our later golden years.
Nasturtiums do not fare well in fertile soil, as much as poor soil. The back hill has poor soil compared to the front flower bed. The nasturtiums I stuck in the ground out front are mostly large leaves, few flowers so far! I do love the round leaves that contrast so well with the feathery ferns! You might remember that my opening photo for the blog shows a snail within the flower of a nasturtium. Ah! treasure in plain sight! The leaves also remind me of the lily poem, “Perhaps I can ask you just to be a lily leaf, stand and tip.” https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/16894
Mom taught me to take hard peaches and ripen them in a brown paper bag. Wow are they sweet! On my calendar from Joan Chittister the August saying is, “What a gift it is to sit and let the juice of a peach run down your chin.”
So no, I did not straighten these photos or clear the counter, but I wanted to emphasize that each of us have treasures in plain sight. All about us, each day. Maybe you do not have flowers in a garden, but I bet there is something in your house or on your counter that gives you cause to praise.
I cannot sing this song enough. As I wait to see the doctor about “revisionary surgery” I still can praise. At times I just need to get loud with my praise. On film at one church I saw this performed during a worship service with prisoners at a prison in Ohio. If anyone needs to praise I would think, like Paula and Silas (Acts 16:25), those guys did. And praise they did!
In this video look at those young people willing to praise! If you cannot tolerate the tattoos or hairstyles just listen to the words and take them to heart. This is not just a rock concert, this in worship. “Praise is the water my enemies drown in!”
I’ll praise in the valley, praise on the mountain (Yeah) I’ll praise when I’m sure, praise when I’m doubting I’ll praise when outnumbered, praise when surrounded ‘Cause praise is the waters my enemies drown in
As long as I’m breathing I’ve got a reason to Praise the Lord, oh my soul (C’mon) Praise the Lord, oh my soul
I’ll praise when I feel it, and I’ll praise when I don’t (Yeah) I’ll praise ’cause I know You’re still in control ‘Cause my praise is a weapon, it’s more than a sound (More than a sound) Oh, my praise is the shout that brings Jericho down (Yeah) As long as I’m breathing I’ve got a reason to Praise the Lord (C’mon), oh my soul Praise the Lord, oh my soul I won’t be quiet, my God is alive So how could I keep it inside? (I gotta) Praise the Lord, oh my soul (Yeah, praise the Lord)
I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign, praise ’cause You reign Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful, praise ’cause You’re true Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You I’ll praise ’cause You’re sovereign, praise ’cause You reign (You reign) Praise ’cause You rose and defeated the grave I’ll praise ’cause You’re faithful, praise ’cause You’re true Praise ’cause there’s nobody greater than You
I won’t be quiet, my God is alive How could I keep it inside? (How could I) I won’t be quiet, my God is alive How could I keep it inside? (I won’t keep quiet) I won’t be quiet, my God is alive How could I keep it inside? (I gotta) Praise the Lord, oh my soul Let everything that has breath (Hey, hey) Praise the Lord (Hey, hey), praise the Lord Let everything, let everything that has breath (C’mon, c’mon, c’mon) Praise the Lord (C’mon, c’mon) Praise the Lord (C’mon, c’mon)
Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Psalm 103:1 NIV
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. Psalm 150:6 NIV
I must remember that each sighting and experience of wildlife out my window is a gift from the Father. I am always amazed at those who hold up traffic at Cades Cove in the Smoky Mountains because they see a white-tailed deer. We have them at home I declare! And then I realize that not everyone if that fortunate.
Blessed are you, O Lord our God, King of the universe, Who brings the buck and the doe to flower and field. May they find nourishment and Your peace in this place. Amen.
I saw this great blue heron fly over our house, then down towards the retention pond. There are no fish there but plenty of frogs! Grabbed the leash and the dog. Called a neighbor and off we galloped. Had to be stealthy as we got to the pond. And yep, the heron was still there!
Now granted the video is not terrific as I only had my iPhone, but the frog scampering across the water was pretty funny. Watch the ending of the video for the jumping frog! Poor heron walked almost the entire perimeter of the pond and never got a thing to eat.
I just love when Bob captures some of my favorite subjects on video. Here are two of them. The Great blue Heron, my all time favorite bird for size and grace. And the water lily with “water cupped in center point.”
The Heron is described by Audubon Field Guide as: “39-52” (99-132 cm). W. 5’10 (1.8 m). Huge and gray, with massive bill, black crown stripe on whitish head. https://www.audubon.org/field-guide/bird/great-blue-heron If you have ever seen this bird in flight the description of slow wing beats is apt.
I hope you enjoy these very short video clips as much as I do! I marvel again and again that our Father made these tremendous creations. Though He does not have to let us witness and experience them, He does. And I am blessed for the seeing.
One week Lectio 360 was focusing on different ways of knowing the Lord. Below are their words.
I find this is my heart’s cry as I try to write this blog
What I know of God will only be a fraction of who the Holy Trinity is. Oh that I might make clear the little part I have understood during my life!
This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, 24 but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 9:23-24 NIV
Father, I pray I am using my understanding to know You and the creation You have put before us for discovery of You and delight in Your creation. I pray You will continue to unfold the Scriptures for me. Holy Spirit continue to show and teach me the ways of the Almighty One.
May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Galatians 6:14 NIV
When Bob lay dying 6 years ago I realized that no one could promise me he would survive the illness or that we would continue our marriage of so many years in the way we had become accustomed. When a woman hits a crossroads like that, for this woman at least, I had to realize that I must crucify my hopes and dreams and let the Lord Almighty have full control.
“I began to approach the situation with stillness but no presumption that I in any way knew the ultimate result. Though I was often unconsciously holding my breath, there was a stillness in me. The stillness came with a peace that I recognized as coming from God. Reporting the day’s events and blood work results to prayer partners via email, without forecasting the next step or event or outcome was about my only “productive” output.
“The stillness was related to Habakkuk 2:20 NRSV “But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth keep silence before Him!” Another prayer that surfaced from the BCP “We do not presume to come to this Thy table trusting in our own righteousness but in Thy manifold and great mercies. We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under Thy table. But Thou are the same Lord whose property is always to have mercy.” (Holy Eucharist 1 P. 337)
“Part of my struggle was yielding to the facts and in stillness letting my wishes die, placing my hope in the plans of the Almighty. I could not see the outcome at all, but I trusted His goodness and His love for both myself and my family. I learned that crucified you must hold perfectly still. Ephesians 3:16 helped me to trust more. “I pray that, according to the riches of His glory, He may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through His Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.” I prayed for Bob and our children to be strengthened. I prayed for myself to be strengthened by His Spirit with power penetrating to my innermost being. Yes, crucified you must hold perfectly still. I was not “going” anywhere.
I had to hold still, let go of my wishes and dreams. Let God unfold the future before me. True surrender.
I am His child.
I have only learned a small fraction about Who my God is. I barely know the Trinity. I am willing to continue to learn. In many ways, I know that the lessons from the not too distant past will carry me to the very end of my days. May Christ be glorified in and through me, I pray.
You might remember this photo from our other house where a spider captured one of “our” hummingbirds?
I was SO angry I beat the spider to death with a broom. He was huge. So much for Franciscan values.
I try to follow my blogger friend Mike Powell at https://michaelqpowell.com/2024/07/09/blog-anniversary/ He is a dragonfly expert. His photography is most often amazing! Recently I was saddened to find this on the porch of our new house.
I know, even spiders need to eat. I was so sad to see what had been eaten and that the spider left me the remnants of its meal to clean up.
I know that many people, female and male are afraid of spiders. Some are even terrified. I began a story about fear in 1982 and added finishing touches in 1990. Hope this encourages you! No we cannot beat the enemy of our souls to death with a broom, but there are actions we can take.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 TIM 1:7
I saw the devil as a decrepit, weazand, impotent old man, stooped over, no strength in his backbone, but malice in his eyes. He worked his way up an open staired metal ladder to the catwalks along the lights above a stage.
I sat on the stage in finger curls and white eyelet ruffles looking much like the storybook picture of Miss Muffet. I was happy, contented and apathetic (having or showing little or no emotion).
Using seemingly his last once of strength, this old impotent being reached the spot on the catwalk above me which he had chosen as his point of power. From inside his trench coat he pulled a marionette … it was a hideous, hairy spider with spindly octopus-like legs and invisible strings. The catwalk was edged with a railing made of steel tubular pipes. He rested his weight upon the cold steel, too weak to stand on his own. He dropped the marionette half-way down and adjusted his hands in the wooden frames that controlled the stings for moving the spider’s body. Then he dropped the spider all the way down, near my face.
As I caught sight of the hideous hairy spider from the corner of my eye, apathy fled and emotions stormed over me. The spineless, weak being above me had little strength to hurt me, but he chose to use my own power against me. I flailed out in fear and anger and my actions made that spider jump and fly through the air with more energy than the old fart could ever have put into it.
And at that juncture, the loving voice of my Lord broke into the scene and said, “Molly, the spider is fear. It has very little power on its own. But you give it your energy by flailing and struggling and assuming it is more powerful than it is. Think through this same scene and SEE that had you chosen to sit still and watch that spider, it would have dangled from strings and been as impotent to harm you as the one holding its frames. HE has no power over you unless you give it to him. Fear is a choice!”
My life has never been the same. I am not always fearless, but I do know that when fear comes I can choose to have it go. Seeing things a new way … choosing another perspective or point of view … RESPONDING instead of reacting are all keys to maintaining my peace and experiencing the comfort and presence of my Lord Jesus.
“I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.” PS 34:4
My prayer is that you might learn not to give the spiders of fear power over you. I understand our first instinct is usually to swat a spider away, but we have the choice to learn how to respond instead of react. I am praying for you!
Widespread pain. The pain associated with fibromyalgia often is described as a constant dull ache that has lasted for at least three months. To be considered widespread, the pain must occur on both sides of your body and above and below your waist.
Fatigue. People with fibromyalgia often awaken tired, even though they report sleeping for long periods of time. Sleep is often disrupted by pain, and many patients with fibromyalgia have other sleep disorders, such as restless legs syndrome and sleep apnea.
Cognitive difficulties. A symptom commonly referred to as “fibro fog” impairs the ability to focus, pay attention and concentrate on mental tasks.
Yep my pillars are pain and fatigue. A pillar is a slender, freestanding, vertical support; a column. I am not thinking a pillar of cloud by day or of fire by night. I am thinking the constant in my daily life, day or night. My pillars are not decorative such as the ones below.
One morning I wrote “I wake up in pain. Two fingers numb. Shoulder so stiff. Hip has not spoken up yet. This gets so old, tiresome, ridiculous. I choose to praise You, even when the pain is present. I love you better than life, even quality of life.”
Surgery was supposed to relieve the shoulder pain and return full function to my right shoulder. Surgery has the result of almost constant pain. If I do the stretches it is supposed to be fine by September of this year. Lord, I cry to You. Please come to me and help me in my distress.
I remember the lyrics from the Vineyard O Jesus Mine
O Jesus mine, O Jesus mine You’ve filled us with a love divine Our hearts have found no resting place but Thee, O Jesus, Jesus, Jesus mine.
I always thought I heard(Our hearts have found a resting place IN TIME)
The Celtic Prayer Book stated God has made us capable of life with Him and thus we are ever lonely and insatiable.
What occurs in private with Him is rarely seen in the open. What some admire about a Christian’s life they also have no idea how it actually came about. There is longing and at times anguish in His presence, which is often only seen after its transfiguration. Only God can transfigure longing and anguish.
Lord, make me aware of Your presence with me, even in the morning pain and afternoon/evening hip pain. Help me adapt and cope I pray.
In A Sunlit Absence by Martin Laird P. 123 He writes “The pathless path of prayer knows only how to move through struggle; and the only way through is through – not around, over, under or alongside, but through.” Struggle – with chronic fatigue and pain, not knowing how to fulfill the call to create something else with the writing, how to ….
Moving through struggle with pain and fatigue is not easy to accomplish day after day, hour after hour. Yet millions of people do it daily, hourly, weekly, monthly year after year.
Perhaps my sharing is all too transparent for those of you who do not have physical struggles? For the rest of us I hope this is read as a means of helping you understand some of the ways I get through these times. I know full well that God is no respecter of persons and ways He has touched me He can touch you with also. (Acts 10:34)
In this chapter of Laird’s book he is describing how a woman learned to struggle beyond her depression. He wrote
The fourteenth-century anonymous English author of The Cloud of Unknowing suggests that instead of pushing away or clinging to thoughts and images that appear in our awareness, whether distracting or attracting, we should simply “look over their shoulder.” This ingeniously playful advice requires a serious and cultivated inner awareness. …We have to meet distractions with stillness instead of commentary. This implies not only do we allow distractions to be present but we also allow them to help us steady our gaze as we “look over their shoulders, as it were, searching for something else.”
This flowing vastness of simple awareness, what St. Hesychios calls ‘the sun rising in the heart,’ is untouched by depression just as it is untouched by time, by age, by pain, fear, anger or greed, or by anything else – though simple awareness is never separate from any of these any more than a spoke of a wheel is separated from its hub. The spoke is not the hub, yet the hub centers all the spokes.
Laird goes on to teach that although this is harder to do than to write about, there comes about a stillness that is from the simple awareness. We are to gaze into that stillness.
Yes, I have the constant pillars of pain and fatigue in my life. They do not, however, need to be the constant focus of my attention. Though I may feel ground to powder, I can look over the shoulders of those two life ingredients and find the vastness of simple awareness. Awareness that ‘there is always something to be thankful for!” When I am especially having difficulty it can be helpful to allow myself some self-pity, but only for about 5 minutes. Beyond that is NOT helpful. Sitting in silence, not trying to add words to the situation, but observe it, allow it and to look ‘over its shoulders’ that is most helpful to me. I do not always accomplish this, do not pull it off every single time. But the sooner I return to this practice the better off I am.
Just as the deer walks the forest in the same pattern regularly, yet does not wear a path like humans seem to, we are called to follow this ‘pathless path of prayer.’ The photo in the opening reminds me of this.
The stillness that come from simple awareness. Certainly a pearl of great price to seek after.
“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. 46 When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it. Matthew 13:45-46
May your heart rest in this Jesus, a simple awareness of the goodness of life, regardless of your struggle.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 