12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14
One person said, “It is not my grip on Christ, but His grip upon me.” Do you ever doubt the grip of Christ? He who bears the nail scarred hands in His resurrected body is not weakened by the suffering He endured. He is stronger since His resurrection from the dead than He was before His death. Brandon Lake sings “there is more strength, more power in the hem of His garment than in the camp of the enemy. ” I firmly believe that. Do you?
The Garments of God visual reflection of poem by Jessica Powers. Painted by Doris Klein, CSA
Yes, I need to keep a grip upon Christ. This poem reflects that sentiment.
God sits on a chair of darkness in my soul. He is God alone, supreme in His majesty. I sit at His feet, a child in the dark beside Him; my joy is aware of His glance and my sorrow is tempted to nest on the thought that His face is turned from me. He is clothed in the robes of His mercy, voluminous garments - not velvet or silk and affable to the touch, but fabric strong for a frantic hand to clutch, and I hold to it fast with the fingers of my will. Here is my cry of faith, my deep avowal to the Divinity that I am dust. Here is the loud profession of my trust. I need not go abroad to the hills of speech or the hinterlands of music for a crier to walk in my soul where all is still. I have this potent prayer through good or ill: here in the dark I clutch the garments of God. Selected Poetry of Jessica Powers (Kansas City: Sheed & Ward), 1989
That just sums it up for me so powerfully. Just like my times with God in the basement under-stairs closet, I can clutch the hem of His garments and know He loves me. He sees me. I am known.
I pray you will sit at His feet as Brandon sings you this refrain. May your faith be strengthened, too!
Harry Chapin wrote and sang a song about Mr. Tanner. He was a dry cleaner and he loved to sing. His friends pressured him to go to New York to have an agent for singers who wanted to advance their careers provide him with a concert venue. The lyrics say, “Music was his life, it was not his livelihood. He did not know how well he sang; it just made him whole.”
The reviews after his concert were not terrific. He never sang again, except late at night when he was alone in the dry cleaning shop. I do not want to become Mr. Tanner. There are interesting videos on YouTube of the actual man who inspired “Mr. Tanner.” His name is Martin Tubridy. There is even a video of the song at a benefit concert for the Harry Chapin foundation where he sings the lines attributed to him. The real-life story is that Martin did not give up his singing career.
A few of my friends have encouraged me to explore publishing my writing. Mostly I feel nudges from the Lord. I have come to the realization that my writing may not ever make it into publication, (no I have not stopped trying). There is a massive work for selection of pieces and re-writing of those pieces that would have to occur. I will most definitely need an editor. (Average pay is $30 an hour.) I am not getting any younger. This writing about my life with Christ keeps me whole. I am so grateful for those who read the blog regularly.
So I continue to ask prayers for guidance from the Lord on how to proceed with all this. As phone calls and appointments interrupt my writing time and life overall intrudes, I will need to carve away dedicated time for the work. The Lord assured me months ago that it would indeed be work.
After receiving verbal abuse and accusations via texting I have to find a way to let go of it. To forgive. To get washed and made clean. To remember that as the Bride no mud balls the enemy slings, no matter whose voice he uses, can stick to the bridal gown of Christ. He has set me free.
me as a bride 54 years ago
Is there one song or verse or mantra or prayer you use in times like this? What is your best coping tool? Would you be willing to share it with others? Trying to recall the lyrics ….
I am free, I am free I’m set free by the Blood of the Lamb I am clean and spotless by Your blood I am free - actual song was recorded in 2006.
And then Taylor Swift’s “Shake it off” came up. And finally my heart landed upon Be Loved.
None of them were perfectly healing, but each one took me a step closer to His Peace.
This morning I awoke with this chorus also from long ago.
“As we glory in Your embrace, as Your Presence now fills this place.”
Cannot say I am not quiet, a bit weary, but I know Who my Redeemer is!
When I was first diagnosed with fibromyalgia I came across this poem:
There is no box made by God nor us but that the sides can be flattened out and the top blown off to make a dance floor on which to celebrate life. Kenneth Caraway
The poem encouraged me that even though I could barely walk at times, I could still dance with my beloved Lord and celebrate life with Him.
At what point did you give yourself to intimacy and trust with the Lord? I clearly remember (and am regularly reminded) that my moment in adult life was at a church conference. I have no idea now who the speakers were or who did the music. I do recall it was a Vineyard conference held in a hotel. There I had an intense and intimate moment with the Lord Jesus that changed me forever.
I was leaned against a door frame during a break between sessions when I remember clearly hearing the Lord say to me, “Come!” in the same commanding voice that Yul Brenner used in the King and I. No, I was not thinking about that movie or the song, but that is what I heard. I do not mean to imply that by God is as moody as the King in the movie. Just think of this as an invitation to intimacy with the Risen Christ.
Then it seemed as if I was in the arms of Jesus and dancing around the room. Unseen by others, to music unheard by others, yet just as real as the ballroom we were meeting in. Isn’t that just like our relationship with the Living God? Unseen by others and unheard by others yet real and vibrant and alive in every aspect of the word?
There is a movie clip and the lyrics for “Shall We Dance” from Rodgers and Hammerstein. (Evidently this clip has 7 different versions. I imagine you would find once is enough, though it is interesting to see how the different directors and actors play it out!)
Anna: We’ve just been introduced, I do not know you well; But when the music started, Something drew me to your side.
So many men and girls Are in each other’s arms— It made me think we might be Similarly occupied.
Shall we dance? On a bright cloud of music Shall we fly?
Shall we dance? Shall we then say good night And mean goodbye?
Or perchance When the last little star Has left the sky,
Shall we still be together With our arms around each other And shall you be my new romance?
On the clear understanding That this kind of thing can happen, Shall we dance? Shall we dance? Shall we dance?
Shall we dance?
Have you put God in a box? Are you willing to blow off the top, flatten the sides and make a dance floor to meet your God upon? Will you give yourself to this sort of intimacy? How do you respond when the Lord says, “Come!” to you? I pray you will arise and do whatever He asks!
As we begin another week, I wanted to wind up those intense recent postings with something suitable to draw our attention back to Christ. I am again drawn to surrender and disarmed by the Love of the Trinity. When I came across this I decided Benjamin William sings it best for me right now. The medley includes Agenda, Hungry, O Praise the Name, Gratitude, a chorus that goes How could I thank You enough? Eden, Isn’t It Just Like You, What a Beautiful Name. How can you beat keyboard, guitar, cello and violin? I pray you are blessed, too!
Turn it up and worship along!! Focus again, turn your eyes upon Jesus.
For quite a while I have enjoyed Elevation Worship. I taped a program on TV called Elevation Church. Thought I might have time to learn about the preaching there. To continue my story about a rough week:
Bob went to shower and I looked at what TV shows I had recorded. There was a church service from Elevation church. I love Elevation music and decided to see what this was about. The LORD met me there. Sermon was about the Holy Spirit as our Ghost Writer. The events of our life might hit us as the end, but God encourages us to be a page turner.
I heard Pastor Furtick say “We are only at this point, there is more God is writing in our story.” I asked my sorry self to sit up and pay attention. Okay, more pain was a disappointment: not what I wanted, yet a reality. Disappointment in realizing I have OTHER THAN what I hoped for. Same old, same old; same shit, different day. My problem was I had put my hope in other than God’s will. No, His will is not more suffering. His will is always acceptance and seeking His way through life rather than digging in my heels and stubbornly insisting on my way be done. The injection did not fix the problem of pain. I did not need to let it drive me from the One who loves me best!
I have listened to this Elevation church sermon more than once. Letting the reality of God-at -work sink into my heart and soul. HE wants me to be a page turner in my own story. Embracing the story as it unfolds. Not stopping at the obstacles that occur in my life. His ways truly are higher than my ways. He has my best interests in mind – all the time.
I confessed the ignorance and futility of hoping for other than His ways and His will for me. Just like when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, He has not promised to remove this pain from me, but a better promise than that has been given to me. He has promised to BE WITH ME IN IT.
This pain provides a limitation on me with the aging of turning 74 this year. As we approach and pass the celebration of our 54th wedding anniversary we both recognize that indeed we are aging and slowing down in so many ways. Though our outer person is wasting away our inner person is newer through the Holy Spirit day by day.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.2 Cor 4:15-17
He says, “My mind says it is over, but I have a ghost writer! The helper called the Holy Ghost is the ghost writer!” As a wordsmith you can imagine the impact that statement made upon me!
Below is a YouTube recording of the entire sermon. If you have never heard Steven Furtick preach you might be interested. He is a cross of old-time black preacher and contemporary charismatic preaching. The organ that emphasizes his sermon reminds me of going to church years and years ago with Lucretia and the woman from Having the Courage to Change .
He encourages us all to be a page turner. He says lick your finger and be willing to turn to the next page. If you scroll to about minute 37 or so, you will get the Lord’s point to me.
Perhaps the pain in my life is a necessary mess? I am driven back to the arms of God when I am bombarded with pain, knowing for a fact I cannot cope on my own, in my own strength. Yet the Trinity comes and lifts me up, gives me thoughts and ideas on how to keep going even in the face of debilitating chronic pain. Osteoarthritis and diabetes are both chronic and progressive. There is no cure for either one. But Christ has promised He will never leave me or forsake me. I might turn from Him when I am disappointed or frustrated, but I am never alone.
At the end of the sermon they played this worship song. Again, found me right where I am living.
Christy Nockles reminds us in her lyrics for Be Loved that I may try to run away, but He’ll come running after me. Relinquishing to His love and resting in His arms is the best path to healing for me. Hope resides in me realizing that this is just ‘an episode, not the entire movie’ of my life – just a season with another season to follow.
I have been hit again this week with the reminder that I enjoy spring much more than autumn when nature is wilting and ready to die back to the ground. In spring it is exciting to discovery what will open to life next. The withering of autumn is so much less enjoyable. “Yet, inwardly I am renewed day by day.” Remember that part, Molly Lin. Refreshed, renewed, made new creation.
Come then Holy Spirit and continue to write this story called me. I am Yours. I am held.
This is not an easy entry to compose, but I sense a call to be transparent. Perhaps someone else might be encouraged if they too are struggling?
If you follow this blog you might remember I have had a peculiar pain in my left hip for the past year. The internist ordered an X-ray and they results were simply arthritis. This is a new to me arthritic pain. I am already on ,medications to alleviate the chronic pain that I suffer. The meds were not touching this one. Sometimes I would walk the dog, get halfway down the street and fear I might not make it home unless I called Bob to come get me. Have not had to do that yet, but it was THAT much pain.
When I saw the pain specialist he suggested an epidural much like I have had in the past for pain on my right side. It did not alleviate the pain. Then there was the procedure I call the nerve cooker. First Medicare insisted on 2 trial injections of Novocaine to ascertain if position was correct and if the procedure worked. The relief lasted 45 minutes to 2-1/2 hours. It was determined that the nerve cooker would work. I had the Medial Branch radio frequency nerve ablation and I looked forward to months of relief. It came with terrible leg cramps that woke me in the night. Thank goodness I have not had a repeat of the worst one that left me gasping, in pain from hip to hell, but I continue to experience lesser cramps.
The morning of my return appointment I did a centering meditation with Andrew Johnson on Insight Timer. I had moved into a place during meditation of seeing Jesus holding me while I floated in water. He literally upheld me. I remembered snippets of a song by Christy Nockles.
I saw the doctor later that day. It is final. The procedure did not work. The medical option did not prove to be helpful. In fact, it caused those unrelenting leg cramps. That left me at the bottom of the pit emotionally. The pain specialist said there was one more nerve block he could try. I asked didn’t we already do that? He said this was a different one. Or he could refer me to a back surgeon. He said even then he was not certain my ruptured discs were bad enough to warrant surgery. I recoiled. No one WANTS back surgery. But he gave me the name of a surgeon at Anderson Mercy.
I had asked myself, “What would my grandparents have done?” The answer was live with it. So I am trying to embrace my own prayer more fully. The prayer that goes,
I have determined that this day,
each time I am drawn up short by pain,
I will praise You
for I love You better than life -
even better than quality of life.
On way home from surgeon I just wanted to weep at the prospect of more pain. I wanted a double dip peanut butter chocolate chip sundae with hot fudge and peanut butter topping for lunch. Being a conscientious diabetic I could not bring myself to stop at the UDF I passed on the way home. I just keep driving. Then I thought about having a vodka gimlet or two. Nope, did not do that either. My eyes kept overflowing with disappointment.
After trying to rest during the afternoon (and failing to sleep) I found the Christy Nockles song that I could not place that morning. I put it on replay, continuously for a couple hours, asking the truth to reside in my soul.
I still want to cry hearing the wondrous lyrics that hold His truth. “So just be held, be held, He holds you.” I know that none of this was a surprise to the Savior. He was not startled or taken aback that the procedure did not work. He knows and understands the pain I experience.
Dinner came and went. I was not much improved; however, I had the hope of that song to cling to. This is installment one of how I am coping. Tomorrow I will share how a TV sermon touched my heart.
Bombarded day and night with political ads and accusations, I must remember these lyrics of truth by Chris Tomlin. There is so much division in America can the Christians at least agree on this?
This is part of the songs lyrics.
Jesus Your name is the highest Your name is the greatest Your name stands above them all (oh, stands above) All thrones and dominions All powers and positions Your name stands above them all
And the angels cry holy All creation cries holy You are lifted high, holy Holy forever (we cry holy, holy, holy)
Remember: the King of kings will reign in the end!
The Trinity is above all thrones and dominions, all powers and positions. Amen.
My lovely years old rose bush did not come up this year. Drats! So I eventually bought a new one that Bob helped me plant out back. For a few weeks it did not seem to thrive. Then I noticed the top kept being sheared off. Those pesky deer seemed to be taking a taste each time they walked through the yard. Once I was wise to them I eventually bought a small bar of Zest soap, pierced it and hung it on a shepherd’s hook with fishing line. As you can see the rose bush is thriving now!
Not certain it will bear any flowers this autumn but at least it stands a chance against the browsing deer. It is supposed to be a fragrant tea rose. The shrub that did not thrive was peach colored and very fragrant.
The spice bush is thriving and putting out berries often referred to as lipstick.
Almost impossible to see the berries at this distance unless you have binoculars!My mother occasionally wore bright red lipstick like this!
I have seen birds and squirrels harvesting these bright berries.
Those tiny buds are likely the flowers for next year. The flowers are so tiny they do not look as if they will amount to anything! Like the berries you have to get close to see them in the spring. Can you tell how much I am enjoying this shrub?
And yes, the Jewelweed is thriving. here are some flowers in front of it.
Snapdragons, Elephant Ear and Jewelweed.Lavender, Elephant Ear and Jewelweed.
Breaking NEWS! When I cut back some of the fading fern fronds from the front flower bed yesterday I discovered a branch of the older rose. Perhaps it will return with vigor next year?
For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD as the waters cover the sea. Habakkuk 2:14 NIV
“For the Beauty of the Earth.”, written by Folliot Pierpoint in 1864
For the beauty of the earth, for the glory of the skies, for the love which from our birth over and around us lies.
Refrain: Christ, our Lord, to you we raise this, our hymn of grateful praise.
2 For the wonder of each hour of the day and of the night, hill and vale and tree and flower, sun and moon and stars of light, [Refrain ]
3 For the joy of human love, brother, sister, parent, child, friends on earth, and friends above, for all gentle thoughts and mild, [Refrain]
4 For yourself, best gift divine, to the world so freely given, agent of God’s grand design: peace on earth and joy in heaven. [Refrain]
Lord, You bless me with this little patch of earth. I cannot help but praise You as the seasons unfold and then fold upon each other. You are wonderful beyond all I can understand. Keep my eyes open to Your wonders all around me. Please comfort those living in areas scorched by bombs and warfare. Help them lift their eyes beyond what they can see to behold Your face, Your love ever encircling them. Help them see Your treasures in plain sight. Make those of us living in places of peace be ever mindful of those in need. Amen.
19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 NIV
Here I am I am Your temple Come and fill me with Your glory, oh my Lord
Purify All that′s not holy 'Til I reflect all Your beauty, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You Longs for You Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord My soul longs for You Longs for You Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
Here I am I am Your temple Come and fill me with Your glory, oh my Lord
Purify All that′s not holy 'Til I reflect all Your beauty, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You Longs for You Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
My soul longs for You Longs for You Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord (Oh, all you are) (Yes, is all I want)
There's only one thing I ask Only one thing I′m after That I would dwell in Your house And see Your beauty forever There′s only one thing I ask There's only one thing I′m after That I would dwell in Your house And see Your beauty forever
(You're all I want) Oh my soul longs for You Longs for You Yes, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord My soul longs for You It cries out for You Yes, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord (Purify the fire!) (God, purify the fire!) My soul longs for You Yes, it longs for You Yeah, it burns for Your glory, oh my Lord My soul longs for You Longs for You Burns for Your glory, oh my Lord
Our souls long for You They long for You They burn for Your glory, oh my Lord Writer(s): Jeremy Riddle
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 