Category: Memories

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Journal, Memories, Nature, Prayer, Special Event, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Traveling

Psalm 1

Like a tree planted by streams of water …..

Oh, the joys of those who do not follow evil men’s advice, who do not hang around with sinners, scoffing at the things of God. But they delight in doing everything God wants them to, and day and night are always meditating on his laws and thinking about ways to follow him more closely. They are like trees along a riverbank bearing luscious fruit each season without fail. Their leaves shall never wither, and all they do shall prosper.

Psalm 1:1-3 Living Bible

We recently got away for a few days. It was so refreshing just to get out of town and break up the daily routine. Whew! When we arrived at our room it was gloomy, early evening and beginning to rain. We did not notice much outside our windows except for a pond/lake. The next morning I could not wait to get outside when I saw this!

I had already been thinking for a few days about Psalm 1 and the tree planted by the streams of water. Been wondering how to write about that tree theme and there it was!

Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,

    whose trust is the Lord.

They shall be like a tree planted by water,

    sending out its roots by the stream.

It shall not fear when heat comes,

    and its leaves shall stay green;

in the year of drought it is not anxious,

    and it does not cease to bear fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 NRSV

The willow tree! Her lower branches almost touch the water.

There was a willow tree that grew on the edge of Kuhner’s field. I played there when I was growing up. Daffodils, a stream and a willow tree. Land snails that left me their discarded shells. I was close to heaven there. I used to play under the branches of the willow assuming that no one could see me. Hidden there in her long wavy arms my imagination was allowed to be still or run wild. The tree did not care which I chose.

Bob and I have been fascinated for decades how the tendrils and buds on the willow turn yellow before other things are giving a hint of spring to come. Now I am in room 303 and out our windows are 3 willow trees planted by this water.

From my journal: “Wood ducks and Canada geese vie for position on the water. Those ducks glide past as if propelled by some force other than themselves. Lord, help me relax and let You propel me today. Help me not to talk too much. Hush me from giving suggestions. Let me just look, watch, ask You for ways to follow You more closely. Increase my trust in You I pray.”

And yes, those trees sent out lots and lots of roots! Look at the opening photo (top of page). Not always easy to see the path of tree roots, but these are easily delineated in the strange winter grass that almost looks like moss.

We arrived in rain. Enjoyed a day of sun and our last morning there was SNOW! I did not venture out to get a shot of snow on the willow buds.

My photo above taken indoors and the chandelier light is reflected on the window (oops!). What a difference in weather!

r m dutina
r m dutina

You can see those willow tendrils in these photos. “Their leaves shall never wither. Never having fear or anxiety.” Yes, Lord! I want to be like these trees. Help me to trust You and drink daily from Your Living Water. Help me to delight in You and meditate on Your word day and night. Make me deeply rooted and grounded, established in Your love. (Ephesians 3:17)

You Lord are my hope and my salvation. Help me become a tree to Your glory, a living testament to Your power at work in 2022. Help me delight in doing everything You want me to do.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Memories, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Traveling

Insisted

Then the man brought me to the gate facing east, and I saw the glory of the God of Israel coming from the east. His voice was like the roar of rushing waters, and the land was radiant with his glory.

Ezekiel 43:1-2 NIV

Last time we went to Niagara Falls on the Canadian side, I insisted we go behind the falls again. There are hallways there that let you stand right behind the falling water. The water moves at about 150,000 American gallons per second. The sound is glorious! It does not matter that from behind it only shows in grays and white. I’ve found no other experience like it in this world. On this video the sound is somewhat distorted as the water falling is so loud! Sadly, as is usual in our lives there are human voices competing for the experience of being heard. Perhaps play it twice; once with sound and once without, yet listening for His word to you today.

Listening, a powerful force we each have, yet few use. Do we truly listen to others or simply formulate our response as they speak. Do we listen for their heart and intention or guess what they are going to say then interrupt, not letting them even finish a sentence?

How about in our faith life? Do we think we have all the answers? Are we truly listening for the guidance and wisdom of God for ourselves? Too often I think we are like the people in the desert with Moses.

When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.”

Exodus 20:18-20

They no longer wanted to experience God. Our refusal to go to God ourselves has made for terrible sin in the world. There has been an awful rash of crime in America by churches groups that come under the sway of one person or a small group of persons then fall into sin because the people do not seek God themselves. The people just go along like deaf lambs.

How can we claim intimacy with Jesus if we never spend time alone with Him? The risen Christ wants to live in and through you. Will you allow that? I believe some denominations have grieved the Spirit of God by claiming the indwelling was just in the past. Unleashing that mighty power of the Spirit in each Christian would unleash the power of God for salvation and redemption that no governing church body could rule unless they were acutely in-tune with His will and His purposes. Even then, the leaders might not rule but only cooperate with the work of God. At times that scares leaders to pieces, so they clamp down on control measures.

“I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power …” to grasp and to know this love that surpasses knowledge and be filled with all the fullness of God. Can you imagine the roar of His voice if we would let ourselves be filled with this living water? Indeed, just as in Ezekiel, the land would be radiant with His glory.

Speak, Lord, we are listening.
Posted on in Faith, Humor, Memories, Music

Infectious Laughter

Four men below my hotel window in the “smoking area” are laughing. Then they spin their tale further and get to making each other laugh. You can tell they are tickled and beginning to cycle into a humor cyclone!

Then the story goes on and on. I can’t really hear what they are saying and the window does not open, but next thing you know I am laughing, too. I do not even know what I am laughing at!

Celebrate Life notes that “the same muscles are used in both laughing and crying. Both bring relief from tension when done aerobically, using muscles deep down in your belly.”

Do you remember the scene in Mary Poppins when the Uncle got them all laughing and they were floating off the ground? I would not be surprised to see these guys come past my second floor window at any moment.

Disney fandom says “Uncle Albert is a jolly, kind old man who lives in a small home in London. He is the uncle of Mary Poppins, and appears to have full knowledge of her abilities. He appears to suffer from an unnamed condition, triggered by laughter, where he floats into the air, a condition which Mary describes as “quite serious”. Bert reveals that his episodes are fairly common and that it “took three days to get him down” the last time it occurred. Though he loves having company, he becomes terribly sad whenever someone must leave.”

Why is there a picture of Jesus Sacred Heart on this video?

And while we are laughing, doubtless you remember the song “We’re so sorry, Uncle Albert.” Bob and I have been joking around with that anytime one of us says “Sorry.” Two minutes ought to do it on this one, unless you like or know anything about Admiral Halsey.

Wikipedia, the master of all firm knowledge, LOL states: Paul McCartney said “Uncle Albert” was based on his uncle. “He’s someone I recall fondly, and when the song was coming it was like a nostalgia thing.” He also stated that “I had an uncle – Albert Kendall – who was a lot of fun, and when I came to write ‘Uncle Albert’/‘Admiral Halsey’ it was loosely about addressing that older generation, half thinking, What would they think of the way my generation does things? That’s why I wrote the line ‘We’re so sorry, Uncle Albert.’” Paul also told an American journalist, “As for Admiral Halsey, he’s one of yours, an American admiral”, referring to Fleet Admiral William “Bull” Halsey (1882–1959). Paul has described the “Uncle Albert” section of the song as an apology from his generation to the older generation, and Admiral Halsey as an authoritarian figure who ought to be ignored.

Again reading Wikipedia, I cannot say we should ignore Admiral Halsey! “Halsey was made Naval commander of the South Pacific Area, and led the Allied forces over the course of the Battle for Guadalcanal (1942–1943) and the fighting up the Solomon chain (1942–1945). In 1943 he was made commander of the Third Fleet, the post he held through the rest of the war. He took part in the Battle of Leyte Gulf, the largest naval battle of the Second World War and, by some criteria, the largest naval battle in history. He was promoted to fleet admiral in December 1945 and retired from active service in March 1947.” At this moment, I do not have easy access to my Dad’s navy records from WW2. He was a flag man on several ships. I wonder if he served under Admiral Halsey? Research for a future blog. That would be something! So I guess the song will remind me of something new, my Dad.

All I can say is keep laughing and apologize to Uncle Albert when things go astray!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Grief

One quote from a book, whose author and title I failed to note, reads, “There’s no use damming up sorrow,” he said. “The river of grief has its own course and its own pace. Tears are a gift from God. Sorrow can grieve over a loss and still be grateful for the time you had.”

I attended a funeral this week for a man who died at age 101. He was a man of wealth and a noted philanthropist. He caught Covid and could not fight it off.

I also spoke with a friend who has been diagnosed with a rare disease. There is no cure and her future is uncertain in regards to pain, suffering, side effects from strong medications, etc. We’re both reading “Celebrate Life: New Attitudes for Living with Chronic Illness.” We are on the chapters about grief as it arises with the diagnosis of chronic illness, and how to navigate through that grief.

The man who died had buried his wife after 66 years of marriage. My friend and I have both been married for 51 years. He knew grief. He also knew success.

My friend and I have both born and raised two children. All four are lively adults. We have known success. He and his wife bore four boys. All of them spoke at the funeral.

I wish he was here so I could ask him how he managed the rapids of aging and decline. He was a strong Christian. Was he able to lean upon the Lord during his dark times? I understand he exercised every single day until the last two weeks of his life. Had a personal trainer come to his house. I am far, far behind on that front!

Guess I best get up and get moving for a longer life and the best health I can obtain. Along with my friend I take many medications daily. Bob calls it “Better living through modern chemistry.” Indeed, I have outlived both of my parents.

Years ago Bob and I worked at The Children’s Home in Hamilton, Ohio. We were told to read Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s on entitled On Death and Dying. The children we worked with often went through these stages not only regarding their family of origin, but also the workers who came in and out of their lives. Kubler-Ross outlined five stages of grief. Some therapists have added a few more, but the basic five are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages do not necessarily occur in that order. You do not necessarily experience the stages only once. The stages also apply to chronic illness patients.

We all know that none of us will get out of here alive, unless the Lord returns before our life ends. We will leave behind people who admire and love us. We will be left behind by others who die. Have we even thought about how to navigate that? Nope, I think most people live in a high state of denial, not even thinking about it until there is no choice.

Research shows that damming up sorrow is very bad for one’s health both physically and mentally. For a person with chronic illness damming up the sorrow can make the symptoms worse! “The river of grief has its own course.” Have you ever considered that tears can be a cleansing part of the river of grief? When was the last time you just let go and had a good cry? It can work wonders for all parts of you.

The river has its own course.

We change, we age, we diminish in our capacity to do the things we used to do. Can you be grateful for the strengths you have had, even if you must let them go? Can you rejoice in the goodness of living, even this day which is so unlike your days were years ago?

Sorrow, grief, loss and gratitude can exist side by side. Don’t try to dam them up. Be grateful for the life you have had thus far and look forward to the life you are still living.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Yield

Bro Law

… as he has become known to me. For years I have tried to live his practice … the practice of the presence of God. I first read it as a folder from the Upper Room. Their first copyright was 1950. The folder I own was its twenty-first printing. Brother Lawrence left no large writings of his own. What we have from the 1600s is mostly what others remember from conversations with him and a few letters. Harold Chadwick says in his extensive publication about Brother Lawrence “The Spiritual Maxims and the Letters appear to be the only writings of Brother Lawrence that we still have.”

After reading this booklet multiple times, teaching from the book published by Spire and endeavoring to live his ideas, I am still at it. Recently I was inspired to purchased the book through Audible. This wonderful app lets you buy books to listen to. What a great idea while walking this beagle in winter! So I am mining the prayers, quotes and ideas that are reminding me how simple and how simply difficult this practice is.

Years ago while teaching crochet at Hobby Lobby I met a woman named Charlene. She was amazing in her determination to crochet. She suffered several surgeries due to cancer. As soon as she would wake from anesthesia she would insist they give her the current crochet project. When she knew she was dying she asked me if I thought she was doing her Christian life correctly. She told me she talked to God all day long about everything and listened for His answers. At the time I had been trying to practice the presence of God for probably ten years. She was doing exactly what Brother Lawrence taught! What an inspiration.

Here is the story of Brother Lawrence’s conversion in 1666 from the Audible recording. “His conversion which took place when he was about 18 years old, was the result under God, of the mere sight in mid-winter of a dry and leafless tree and of the reflections it stirred respecting the change the coming spring would bring. From that time he grew imminently in the knowledge and love of God endeavoring constantly to walk as in His presence.” This being mid-winter, can you find a tree to ponder and reflect upon the changes God will bring about soon to that tree?

photo by r m dutina

He was born Nicolas Herman. He worked as a cook in a monastery kitchen for 15 years. He was not highly educated. Can you imagine learning a way to be with God constantly, sharing your thoughts and teaching others this way, and having your method be important to folks 350 some years later?

He complains much of our blindness, and cries often that we are to be pitied who content ourselves with so little. God, says he, has infinite treasure to bestow, and we take up with a little sensible devotion, which passes in a moment. Blind as we are, we hinder God and stop the current of His graces. But when He finds a soul penetrated with a lively faith, He pours into it His graces and favors plentifully; there they flow like a torrent which, after being forcibly stopped against its ordinary course, when it has found a passage, spreads itself with impetuosity and abundance.

Brother Lawrence Fourth Letter

The letter goes on to encourage us to enter into ourselves and break down the banks that hinder this flow.

“His graces and favors flow like a torrent” photo by M L Dutina

I have been trying to bring a few of his prayers to up-to-date, current English, changing Thee and Thou to our common You and Your usage. This was his prayer when he had to turn his attention to work in the kitchen. A filial trust means like a child with its parent. “That when he began his business, he said to God, with a filial trust in Him:

O my God, since You are with me, and I must now, in obedience to Your commands, apply my mind to these outward things, I beseech You to grant me the grace to continue in Your presence; and to this end do prosper me with Your assistance, receive all my works, and possess all my affections.

Prayer before beginning work in his kitchen

One thing I especially like about his teachings is his ready recognition of his failure and then rapid moving back to the practice. “That when he had failed in his duty, he only confessed his fault, saying to God, I shall never do otherwise if You leave me to myself; it is You who must hinder my falling and mend what is amiss. That after this he gave himself no further uneasiness about it.” Simple. Can you do that?

“That he was very sensible of his faults, but not discouraged by them; that he confessed them to God, but did not plead against Him to excuse them. When he had so done, he peaceably resumed his usual practice of love and adoration.” Again, simple. Can you do that?

I was so prone to self-castigation that this simple method of recognition of my sins and faults and then rapidly returning to loving God was hard for me to accomplish. “Peaceably resumed his usual practice of love and adoration.”

One of my favorite, and likely my most quoted teachings is “That useless thoughts spoil all; that the mischief began there; but that we ought to reject them as soon as we perceived their impertinence to the matter at hand and return to our communion with God.”

Useless thoughts spoil everything and much mischief begins there.

Brother Lawrence

Yeah, buddy! SO VERY TRUE.

Rapidly return to His presence when you realize you have lapsed. Don’t waste energy on your sins; confess and peacefully go back to His presence. Discuss with God everything all day about your life. It brings Him delight. When those useless thoughts pop up, and they will, learn to recognize them. We are taught in 2 Corinthians 10:5 to take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ Jesus. My useless thoughts are usually recognizable after a time. When I realize another one has crept into my thinking, I spurn it. Taking it captive to Jesus I see in the light of Christ the evil it could do and I reject it.

Some say that Christianity is full of “thou shalt nots.” I say if you do the things instructed in the word you will not have time for useless nonsense. Father wants a relationship with us. Are you willing to give that a try?

Posted on in Faith, Journal, Memories, Poetry, Prayer, Special Event, Traveling

Inspired by Visit to Teampall Bhreasain, County Galway, Ireland

©2011 Molly Lin Dutina

Through the window of the ages
Past the thick walls of time
Stands a symbol of death
Nay! Bright resurrection
Hope of all men

The rough stones placed
In geometrically sound patterns
Of worship, of honor, of praise
Roofless now 
that heaven may freely break through 
to us of long ages later
Arches , capstones, edges of time
Torn by the worship of long ago
Until our hearts are lifted up
To worship the same lovely truth

You came for us
You come to us still
To have us for Your own
Encircling with Spirit
Invading with Holy
Illumine our techno age
With truth of heaven
Power of Holy
Spirit of Life
Posted on in Faith, Journal, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Irish Music and a Psalm

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 84. I have read it, heard it set to music, and pondered it often. Here is the New Revised Version.

          How lovely is your dwelling place, 
    O LORD of hosts! 
    2      My soul longs, indeed it faints 
    for the courts of the LORD; 
    my heart and my flesh sing for joy 
    to the living God. 
    3      Even the sparrow finds a home, 
    and the swallow a nest for herself, 
    where she may lay her young, 
    at your altars, O LORD of hosts, 
    my King and my God. 
    4      Happy are those who live in your house, 
    ever singing your praise.       Selah 
    5      Happy are those whose strength is in you, 
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
    6      As they go through the valley of Baca 
    they make it a place of springs; 
    the early rain also covers it with pools. 
    7      They go from strength to strength; 
    the God of gods will be seen in Zion. 
    8      O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer; 
    give ear, O God of Jacob!       Selah 
    9      Behold our shield, O God; 
    look on the face of your anointed. 
    10      For a day in your courts is better 
    than a thousand elsewhere. 
    I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God 
    than live in the tents of wickedness. 
    11      For the LORD God is a sun and shield; 
    he bestows favor and honor. 
    No good thing does the LORD withhold 
    from those who walk uprightly. 
    12      O LORD of hosts, 
    happy is everyone who trusts in you. 

In my studies I learned that when verse 6 says the Valley of Baca, that means the valley of tears or weeping. Isn't it just like our God to change a place of weeping into a place of springs! One of Bob's favorite songs was a Vineyard creation about "Better is one day in your house than thousands elsewhere."

When we visited Ireland in 2011 I had my own experience of a 'thin place.' A thin place is described as a place where the distance between heaven and earth is not as thick as in some regions of earth.

When we visited the Aran ruins on Inishmore, Aran island I was moved by a church ruin. After much research and naming it wrong in a prior blog posting, I believe this is called Teampall Bhreacain, Na Seacht dTeampaill, County Galway, Ireland. The  difficulty is the language and there are multiple small church ruins on Inishmore!

When we arrived I practically sat down in awe. I believe the following photos were all taken by my wonderful husband, r m dutina.

The altar from afar, look to upper right wall by altar

Remember verse 3 above? This is what I wanted you to see in last photo.

“Even the sparrow finds a place where she may lay her young”

And when I pondered how many had worshiped at this altar over the years, and there I was, too, worshiping my God I was awe struck and taken into His presence.

Yes, there was rubble on the floor and I am glad it was left for us to see. The roof was long gone, but God was still present.

How lovely is Thy dwelling place, O Lord of Hosts to me!

This song has transported my soul there ever since. I was delighted to find it on You Tube to share with you here!

Tomorrow a poem inspired by this thin place!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Memories, Music, Nature, Spiritual growth

Eternally Fresh

Tree roots grow down into the soil and draw water and nutrients to the trunk, branches, twigs and leaves. Our roots must go deep into the Kingdom and draw similar nutrients to our being. This song helps elaborate that for me.

Years ago I enjoyed a CD by Michael Card and John Michael Talbot. Recently two songs from that collection have come to my attention. And yep, I cannot quit humming them. They roll around in my spirit and bring me joy and encouragement. One of those is called “Live This Mystery.” I hope you, too, are able to LIVE this mystery. Here are lyrics from LyricsFreak (not exactly in the order they are sung) and also the recording for your enjoyment and encouragement.

When I consider the secret of the One 
Who dwells in me
That there is truly a presence
In the heart for all who believe
To listen to a silent call
The quiet hunger to give it all

As the river seeks to be
Forgotten in the sea
My life is hidden in Thee
I must live this mystery

Like a moth around the flame
Drawn to the light
And to the pain
Since my life is hid in Thee
I must live this mystery

In Him we live, in Him we move
In Him all things are made new
The mystery of life in Christ
Is Christ can live in you

I hear the silence , it's clamoring
There is only Christ, He is everything
In the language of the soul
It's burning like a coal

There's a voice that is saying
"You can be whole"
A life where all is new
Of timeless moments waits for you

With the heart alone you see
You must live this mystery
Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, medical treatment, Memories, Poetry, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Yield

A Few Ways to Cope with Chronic Illness

Remember my brainstorm of things I might share with my friend? Here are a few more.

Have you ever deliberately turned to face the Lord? Once on retreat I determined to hold His hand and stay with Him. It was my practice for a few hours and changed me forever. We are invited by His Spirit to do these things every day.

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

Isaiah 41:13 NIV

Turn to face the Lord. Determine to stay with Him. Hold His hand.

Pyramid Hill Sculpture Park, photo by r m dutina

Do you remember recently when I quoted Rick Hansen, PhD, from his book “Just One Thing”? The post is here https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/7643

One of his ways of bringing us back to the present moment is in Chapter 42, page 173. “Notice You’re All Right Right Now.” My summary along with other methods I have learned follows. Look at this present moment. Notice you have been breathing through all these health changes. Breathe now. Intentionally. Breathe again, here in this moment. Keep breathing. Are you still there, present in this moment? If you drifted away come back. Kindly be right here, now. This is a practice that can increase your capacity for mindfulness. There have been many, many studies that prove the health benefits of learning mindfulness.

I wrote a poem once about my experience when I was diagnosed with chronic illness. The refrain is, “Pray that I don’t panic. Pray I can be still. Pray that I can find God in the midst of being ill.” It is extremely difficult to focus on ANYTHING when we do not feel good. Mindfulness practice can help us. Brother Lawrence taught we are to speak to God all day long about everything. That is easier to accomplish if you are not panicked, distracted, racing about with catastrophizing, etc. (“Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that prompts people to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very limited information or objective reason to despair.”)

In his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl wrote,”Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Frankl suffered with many others in a Nazi prison camp. The man knows suffering. We get to choose our attitudes towards what is going on with our health, or any other situation.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

I cannot change the multiple diagnoses of chronic health conditions that I have. I can however determine to challenge myself to find ways to cope and reasons to live on, preferably with joy and gladness.

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Journal, Just do it, medical treatment, Memories, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Stunned by Bad News

I have a friend who was recently stunned by bad news medically. A serious diagnosis that has no cure. I have tried to encourage and walk with her through a months-long process of getting to this point. The diagnosis is not even certain as it is one of those autoimmune things that defies diagnosis by mimicking so many other illnesses. So what can I offer her next?

That night as I was preparing for bed and praying for her I suddenly remembered when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia many years ago. At that time there was much less known about Fibro and Bob and I were pretty much on our own to figure it out. I read everything I could. I tried to learn about this mystery illness. First, however, I had to cope with the weeks and months of getting back up on my feet again. We were a family of four with 2 young children and one husband working full time and often on call. I needed to function!

I hope to spend some time the next couple weeks blogging about what I discovered that helped me during those dark days. The night she shared the news with me when I got in bed to read on my iPad there came a flood of coping ideas. I typed with one finger until I thought I might need to get up and write at my desk!

One thing my friend had shared was about a neighbor couple who both got Covid after being exposed to extended family at Christmas. Neighbor woman is recovering. He was hospitalized. He finally was released from the hospital and two days later he died at home. When you have your own terrible news, the grief of others can put you in a tailspin. Where your heart would have been empathetic before, now their dark and dismal splashes over into your dark and dismal. Suddenly it can all be too much to take. From similar experiences, I learned to try to guard my heart.

Above all else, guard your heart,
    for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23 NIV

Send a sympathy card, but be certain to keep your matters from flowing into the streams of others. Grief can come with illness. I will write on that another day.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

1 Peter 5:8-9 NIV

Another struggle is when the “What if’s” and “If onlys” try to take over. Fretting and worry over the future and the past are like a lioness with her kill. You do not want to get in her way! Some call it “stinkin’ thinkin.” I experienced it with things like, “What if I cannot continue to raise my children?” “How can I be a good wife to Bob if I am weak and in bed all the time?” “What if pain takes over my life?” We are told to be alert and sober minded, aware of our thoughts.

The New Testament has advice on that. If you will do this it will save you from untold trouble.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

Rather than swirl in a centrifuge of negative thoughts trying to push them down and forget them, I eventually found it helpful to list those thoughts. To examine them in the Light of Christ. It takes effort to become aware of your thoughts. Especially in this society that does not value self-examination. No one knows my thoughts except me and God. He is omniscient. “Nothing is hidden from Him with whom we have to do.”

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

Hebrews 4:13 NIV

Uncovering my negative thoughts takes much power from them. Learning how they make me feel is powerful, too. When I start getting ‘that way’ I now can often recognize where the discomfort is coming from and put a stop to it. I have to do the work. God enables me but does not accomplish it for me. I do not serve a fairy godmother who will whisk away every negative thing from me.

Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.

Psalm 105:4 NIV

In the struggle after a shock knocks you down, that struggle to get your feet under yourself again, I cannot stress how important it is to turn and face the Lord. Determine to stay with Him, come what may. Hold His hand.

Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.

Psalm 73:23 NIV

Guard your heart. Take your thoughts captive to Christ. Turn and face the Lord. Hold onto His hand. Does that seem like too much to do? The ideas can be put on a 3 x 5 card and practiced when you have nothing else pressing. Over time, with practice they are certain to keep you from getting worse mentally in the midst of bad news.