Category: Humor

Pour out

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Humor, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Guidance and Direction

It is said that the best way to discern God’s will is through prayer, the Word, confirmation through fellowship with other Christians and circumstantial situations God sends your way. If you want to rely on this method you need to learn the Word. Few of us can quote chapter and verse, but we can learn the principles of Scripture and how to find the verses that correspond.

Years ago I had a book about prayer that listed these Scriptures for guidance and direction. I made it a habit to pray them every morning off and on over a period of years, asking the Father to indeed give me guidance and direction for that day. If you want practice in finding references in your Bible, you can go to Deuteronomy 31:6 and mark in the margin Joshua 3:4, then at Joshua mark the next reference in your margin, etc., etc. The references that just say 25:9 refer to the book listed just before. So 25:9 is Psalms 25:9, etc. PROV is proverbs, ISA is Isaiah, JN is John and REV is Revelation. There are many such lists on line. This list has helped and taught me much. May it do the same for you in your study. If you use an electronic Bible on your phone or computer you will not have the advantage of being able to note the next verse in sequence. Bibles like the Thompson Chain reference give you space to add another reference.

Or you can paste something like this in your Bible cover.

Now, years later these verses still come to mind on occasion and remind me of His faithfulness. I also learned that if we “hide the word in our heart” and mind, that gives the Holy Spirit more to work with when I am asking for guidance or seeking to comfort another.

Tradition says that God was silent while Jesus was in the tomb on Holy Saturday. Rather than expound on the miracle of the resurrection, I thought this might feed your soul now and in the future.

Deut 31:6  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Josh 3:4 NKJV  Yet there shall be a space between you and it, about two thousand cubits by measure. Do not come near it, that you may know the way by which you must go, for you have not passed this way before.

Psalms 16:11  You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

25:9  He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.

32:8  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.

37:23-24  The LORD makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him;  though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

73:23-24a  Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.  You will guide me with Your counsel.

121:8  The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time on and forevermore.

PROV 2:6-8 NKJV  For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth come knowledge and understanding;  He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk uprightly;  He guards the paths of justice, And preserves the way of His saints.

3:5-6  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

11:3  The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.

ISA 30:20-21  Though the Lord may give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself any more, but your eyes shall see your Teacher.  And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

45:2-3  I will go before you and level the mountains, I will break in pieces the doors of bronze and cut through the bars of iron,  I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches hidden in secret places, so that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.

48:17  Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: I am the LORD your God, who teaches you for your own good, who leads you in the way you should go.

JER 6:16  This is what the LORD says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls. But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’

29:12-14  “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

32:17  Ah Lord God! It is you who made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.

JN  16:13  When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

REV 3:8  I know your deeds. See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut. I know that you have little strength, yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.

Sword of the Spirit

Daily reading of the Word is one of our best weapons in warfare. The Word is our Sword of the Spirit. Let the Word guide and direct you, mold and teach you. The results are ‘out of this world!’

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Humor, medical treatment, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Stand Look Ask

Thus says the Lord:

Stand at the crossroads, and look,

    and ask for the ancient paths,

where the good way lies; and walk in it,

    and find rest for your souls.

But they said, “We will not walk in it.”

Jeremiah 6:16 NRSV

I have been familiar with this passage for many years. When I had the recent pain flare it was brought back to my mind. As I seek ways to cope I keep remembering this passage. Stand. Look. Ask. Walk. Find rest.

Seems simple enough. I do not want to be part of the folks who said, “We will not walk in it.” Just like my life verse Isaiah 30:15

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:

In returning and rest you shall be saved;

    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.

But you refused

Isaiah 30:15

I do not want to refuse in things the Lord asks of me. So yes, I will seek medical advice, but I will also look to the Lord for guidance and instruction on how to cope with this part of aging. When Bob worked in the hospital as a Medical Technologist part of his job was to go on the floor and draw blood specimens early each morning. He often had to wake the patients to do that. He asked a man one morning how he was doing. The gentleman replied, “Well, I woke up on the right side of the grass!” We have taken that as one of our bywords when aging and illness throws us for a loop. The alternative would be to not finish out the stories going on in our lives and the lives of those we love. So even when we are miserable, we are grateful to keep on living.

Next time you are stymied in your life perhaps Jeremiah could guide you, too. Can’t hurt to try that as your prayer guide when frustrated. Ask God. He will show you the ancient way, where the good path lies. Please, do not join the ranks of those who said “We will not walk in it” or outright refuse His help.

Posted on in Humor, Nature

Uh Oh

Trees are blooming here in the Cincinnati area. On a recent trip to downtown I pointed them out to a friend who is sight impaired. Even she was able to see them carpeting hillsides and valleys. Later that night we were driving home and in the street lights I saw white trees and immediately thought, “Oh look the trees are covered with snow!” Ha! I was so wrong. It was 45 degrees and I was simply seeing the Bradford Pears reflecting the street lights. The joke was on me. If you are not familiar with Bradford Pears they are also call Callery Pears. They have become invasive in Ohio and likely other parts of the USA, too.

“Unfortunately, the majority of the Callery Pear that you are seeing, or smelling, were not planted, and you will continue to find more and more of them every year that were not planted by people, but instead, spread by birds and animals. While the tree lawns in cities are littered with trees that were planted, you can basically stick these trees in any kind of soil, and they will grow. What is even more disturbing is to find these trees popping up in otherwise untouched wilderness areas, far away from where anyone would have originally planted one. Once they are established areas, they begin to choke out native plant species and become thick, deep rooted stands of trees that are frustratingly difficult and expensive to control.

They are invasive to the point that the Ohio Department of Natural Resources added the Callery/Bradford pear to the states invasive species listing in in 2018. In 2023 it will be illegal to buy or plant this species in Ohio. This is a good move; it is just about 20 years late. The ones planted are spreading exponentially and are causing serious problems if not kept in check. Though originally thought that they did breed to not bear fruit, they do. Birds gorge on the plentiful, but low energy fruit then dropping the seeds in their waste everywhere and the next tree takes off creating an endless and devastating cycle. Callery/Bradford pears are weak structured with steep “V” notched branches that are prone to breaking off in ice, snow, and windy conditions. They will get to roughly 10 to 15 years old and then start falling apart. The other issue is the waxy leaves decompose very slowly causing headaches in landscape and street tree settings, as well as compost piles.”

https://wayne.osu.edu/news/callery-pear-beautiful-tree-thats-causing-stink

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Family, Humor, Journal, Just do it, Memories, Nature, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Pearls

 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.”

Matthew 13:45-46
Purported to be the largest pearl ever found

So what do you value the most? The parable says this is what the kingdom of heaven is like …. Do you value the Kingdom and your relationship with the Trinity above everything else? Would you give everything you have to get this pearl?

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.”

Matthew 6:33

Jesus said the above after telling the people not to worry about clothing or food or anything else. If we are willing to seek Him, the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, we will have everything else we need.

St. Isaac of Syria, from the 600s, continues to influence Orthodox spirituality today. He is known as one of the greatest spiritual writers of the Christian East. His writing was suggested to me in 2009. Remarking on this parable he wrote:

A swimmer dives into the sea naked, in order to find a pearl.

A wise monk journeys through life, stripped of all that he has, to find within himself the pearl, Jesus Christ, and finding him, he no longer seeks to acquire anything else beside him.

Daily Readings with St. Isaac of Syria

I believe the first thing we stumble over in this pursuit is naked, or stripped of all that he has. We are simply way too attached to our things. If you were from Ukraine right now you would either be putting your life on the line for your country or running for your life with few, if any, possessions. Are we willing to turn loose of our hold on possessions so we might grasp the Lord firmly as our source of life and reason for living?

Have you forgotten –

Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

and naked I will leave this life.

Job 1:20a

The saying goes “You can’t take it with you” but what if you turned loose of the all-encompassing life-draining drive for power and possessions now? It is unlikely you will move to a barren wasteland and become a desert father or mother. You could however focus your life upon the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. You could pursue this pearl of great price and find treasure you never suspected was available to you in 2022. Never will the question be answered in your own heart unless you experiment with opening your hand, letting go of the tenacious grasp of things, so you can grab hold of the Lord.

Do you have a Halloween store near you? Once when I was having difficulty turning loose of my teenage children the Lord had me buy a rubber hand like the ones below.

I took it home and easily cut off the red line of ‘blood.” I placed it palm up on my dashboard. The Lord had said I could turn my kids loose to Him or He could pry them out of my hands. Every time the car hit a bump those fingers would vibrate and wiggle. Yes, it was a clear object lesson for me and it made me laugh to boot. God has such a sense of humor!

Perhaps you need to visit the local part supply store and get a hand for yourself? Turn loose of a few obsessions first, trusting that He is able to be in charge of those. Then a few more things. Then a few more, filling your time and mind with His word and presence. He is able to inspire and help you with this if only you will ask.

Yield to Him and find out what He has in mind.

Posted on in Challenge, Humor, Just do it, Social Distancing

Local Winter Road Trip

I forget to post this earlier. These photos are from a drive we took while not mingling with people during the Omicron variant outbreak.

“Bob, do you think coal is actually still sold in that store?” I asked.

And as we rounded the building he found the answer to my query!

r m dutina

I am uncertain who still burns coal in their homes or barns in Clermont county, but someone must!

According to Answers.com on the internet, “People use coal for warming their homes and as fuel for cooking, as well as a source of energy for powering certain machines.”

If you are a Clermont County or Brown County resident who knows the answer to my question, please post in the comments section! Educate a city girl!

Posted on in Faith, Humor, Memories, Music

Infectious Laughter

Four men below my hotel window in the “smoking area” are laughing. Then they spin their tale further and get to making each other laugh. You can tell they are tickled and beginning to cycle into a humor cyclone!

Then the story goes on and on. I can’t really hear what they are saying and the window does not open, but next thing you know I am laughing, too. I do not even know what I am laughing at!

Celebrate Life notes that “the same muscles are used in both laughing and crying. Both bring relief from tension when done aerobically, using muscles deep down in your belly.”

Do you remember the scene in Mary Poppins when the Uncle got them all laughing and they were floating off the ground? I would not be surprised to see these guys come past my second floor window at any moment.

Disney fandom says “Uncle Albert is a jolly, kind old man who lives in a small home in London. He is the uncle of Mary Poppins, and appears to have full knowledge of her abilities. He appears to suffer from an unnamed condition, triggered by laughter, where he floats into the air, a condition which Mary describes as “quite serious”. Bert reveals that his episodes are fairly common and that it “took three days to get him down” the last time it occurred. Though he loves having company, he becomes terribly sad whenever someone must leave.”

Why is there a picture of Jesus Sacred Heart on this video?

And while we are laughing, doubtless you remember the song “We’re so sorry, Uncle Albert.” Bob and I have been joking around with that anytime one of us says “Sorry.” Two minutes ought to do it on this one, unless you like or know anything about Admiral Halsey.

Wikipedia, the master of all firm knowledge, LOL states: Paul McCartney said “Uncle Albert” was based on his uncle. “He’s someone I recall fondly, and when the song was coming it was like a nostalgia thing.” He also stated that “I had an uncle – Albert Kendall – who was a lot of fun, and when I came to write ‘Uncle Albert’/‘Admiral Halsey’ it was loosely about addressing that older generation, half thinking, What would they think of the way my generation does things? That’s why I wrote the line ‘We’re so sorry, Uncle Albert.’” Paul also told an American journalist, “As for Admiral Halsey, he’s one of yours, an American admiral”, referring to Fleet Admiral William “Bull” Halsey (1882–1959). Paul has described the “Uncle Albert” section of the song as an apology from his generation to the older generation, and Admiral Halsey as an authoritarian figure who ought to be ignored.

Again reading Wikipedia, I cannot say we should ignore Admiral Halsey! “Halsey was made Naval commander of the South Pacific Area, and led the Allied forces over the course of the Battle for Guadalcanal (1942–1943) and the fighting up the Solomon chain (1942–1945). In 1943 he was made commander of the Third Fleet, the post he held through the rest of the war. He took part in the Battle of Leyte Gulf, the largest naval battle of the Second World War and, by some criteria, the largest naval battle in history. He was promoted to fleet admiral in December 1945 and retired from active service in March 1947.” At this moment, I do not have easy access to my Dad’s navy records from WW2. He was a flag man on several ships. I wonder if he served under Admiral Halsey? Research for a future blog. That would be something! So I guess the song will remind me of something new, my Dad.

All I can say is keep laughing and apologize to Uncle Albert when things go astray!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Beagle, Humor

54 and Mushy

Glorious sun and welcome warmth drew us to take Lucky to the dog park. Remember, this dog is basically a nose on legs!

The dog area has double gates so no critters can escape the confines. There were more folks than I’ve ever seen before going in and out of the double gates. The recent hard rains made the ground mushy. Really mushy! Mud and goo that made for some dirty dogs!

The dogs played fetch and some just followed the leader. As owners departed they would leave the fetch ball for the next player. Lucky just goes to sniff. She basically ignores the other canines.

Some owners pickup the droppings from their animal. Best watch out for ones that didn’t! Especially from the large dogs. Ick.

It was an hour of sunshine, fresh air, blue sky.

Even a kite did dips and races, 
reminding me of the vultures 
searching the nearby woods 
with dips and races, 
searching for a snack.

Kite photo extremely difficult to capture! Best r m dutina could pull off with iPhone. Vultures were too quick for me to even try!

R m Dutina
Like I said, tough to show you. So IMAGINE!! First kite sighting of 2022!!
Posted on in Beagle, Humor, Thanks

Mended Slaughtered Peanuts Characters

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas Lucky decided she did want to play with toys. The Snoopy and Charlie Brown dolls were under the Christmas tree on the floor. Before we moved they had been seasonally upon the mantel with the Linus tree.

You might recall she decided they looked like fun and began chewing on them. That is a feat for a dog with few teeth. The vet had pulled eleven of her teeth before we adopted her from the shelter. She had ruined her teeth trying to chew her way out of a cage when she was held for breeding in Kentucky. (See Killer Dog? https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/7223

Eventually she chewed a hole in Snoopy’s neck and we had to remove it from her. Then she went after Charlie Brown. As his stuffing began to fly we took that away also. Could not let her get to swallowing that stuffing and a needing a vet visit. I pondered whether I should mount the heads on the wall like a trophy hunter would? For a time they were just in the office closet. She knew right where they were, but could not reach them. Some friends even told me that Kohl’s was selling them again right at Christmas for about $5, but I never made it there to purchase new ones for her.

I did buy her a rope toy suggested by Chrissy. She called it floss – basically strings knotted to form a rope. Lucky mostly licks it but occasionally gets to chewing at it. Eventually, after the holiday busy-ness calmed down I wanted to mend Snoopy and Charlie Brown for her to enjoy. I could not get their necks under the sewing machine needle, so I had to sew them up by hand. Lucky was delighted when I returned her toys to her!

It took her a while, but eventually, you guessed it, she had another hole in Snoopy’s neck. Bob removed it when he saw the stuffing flying. She has been making herself busy working on Charlie Brown’s shorts. I told my friend Lucky thinks Charlie changed his name to the name of her possible disease, so she is attacking his groin. Got at least a giggle from her! She loves Lucky.

How many times will I mend those? No telling. Snoopy now has another row of stitches in his neck. She is a sweet dog even though she has a streak of that stubborn beagle-ness in her. We have our stand-offs over issues besides toys.

But hey, who cannot love a dog who was mistreated, rarely barks, bawls us out if we leave her in the kennel and go out (think when she gets her flea drops). She is gentle and kind. The only thing she likes better than us is food, treats, dishes with gravy, etc!

Yes, I give thanks to the Father for bringing this dog to us during the pandemic. She certainly cheers us more than she aggravates us. Right now she is at my right leg while Bob dismantles the sitting room preparing for the painter later this week. She is watching him carefully as he places picture frames on the other side of my desk. She just ventured out to see where he went. So curious!

Sleepy beagle shedding as usual!
Posted on in Amazing Creations, Humor, Nature, Poetry

Speaking of Things Rooted

No idea what I was going to write, so here is a re-post of Dan’s take on tree humor based on this poem.

Trees
Joyce Kilmer - 1886-1918

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.

A tree whose hungry mouth is prest
Against the sweet earth's flowing breast;

A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;

Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.

I cannot stop laughing about that one!! see Dan Cooksey’s blog at https://danandbettysplace.blog/author/corralesdan/ Another Monday

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Humor, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Free Range

The grocery package says free range eggs. But aren’t they eggs from free range chickens? Or did the eggs roll around on the ground wherever they pleased? Yikes.

Taking another drive last week in the adjoining counties we came across chickens, and then more chickens. I love the white one strutting below. Made me wonder how do you control these free range chickens? Can’t exactly get the sheep dog to round them up at night!?!

Searching on line I posed the question “How do I raise chickens in my yard?” Here is a link if you want more information. https://backyardpoultry.iamcountryside.com/chickens-101/how-to-raise-free-range-chickens/

Basically you want a roost of some type to protect your chickens from predators at night (think coyotes, foxes, dogs). Let them out in the morning and they will quickly learn to return to the roost at night if you use the same bucket or container everyday to give them feed in late afternoon or evening. Then you close up the pen. The link goes on to talk about eggs and shells and poop as fertilizer. Feel free to peruse that information.

Wherever your roaming may take you today, be on the lookout for chickens in the front yards, side yards, ditches, etc. And remember that Jesus loves you and protects you like a mother hen. Return to Him for protection and sustenance. Be careful not to roam too far from Him.