Category: Faith

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Discipline of Self Examination

When I was in formation as a Third Order Franciscan I was introduced to the discipline called Self Examination. It was difficult for me to learn as my family of origin thrived on criticism and negativity. Learning to look at myself kindly was hard as that inner critic, so firmly planted as a child, had a nasty condemning voice.

Saint Ignatius put an emphasis on “self examen” and taught a simple way to approach it with little or no condemnation. Recently I have been reading the series by Sharon Garlough Brown entitled “Sensible Shoes.”

Using her ideas from Page 178 and what I have learned over the years about self examination I have begun to do this practice with some regularity. The Franciscan formation notes teach about using self examination as we look at self-denial. Not eating chocolate is not what is meant by self-denial. It is more “a way for us to get out of God’s way, to put aside our own limited concept of ‘self’ in order to embrace a more complete self-hood in Christ. This is the discipline of saying ‘no’ to oneself by putting God first.”

I can imagine some of you are asking, “Say what?!?!”

I will just post the outline I have been using and pray that answers most of your questions. You will understand the process best if you actually use it for yourself for a few days, weeks, or months.

These are some questions you can adapt and use in examen:

  • When were you aware of God’s presence today? When did you sense God’s absence?
  • When did you respond to God with love, faith, and obedience? When did you resist or avoid God?
  • When did you feel most alive and energized? When did you feel drained, troubled or agitated?

Examen 1. Place yourself in God’s presence. Give thanks for God’s great love for you. 

2. Pray for the grace to understand how God is acting in your life. 

3. Review your day — recall specific moments and your feelings at the time. 

4. Reflect on what you did, said, or thought in those instances. Were you drawing closer to God, or further away? 

5. Look toward tomorrow — think of how you might collaborate more effectively with God’s plan. Be specific.

When did I resist You?

Do you see how the inner critic is mostly silenced through this method? I must confess I have great difficulty doing this in the evening. I have never been good at evening prayer, etc. mostly due to the medications I take that make me very drowsy come evening. So I do this in the morning hours.

As you begin the practice it is a helpful way to try to keep in touch with the LORD throughout the day. Brother Lawrence instructed that we talk to God all day long. St. Francis lived that method of worship. We make notes all day, mentally, on our phones or on paper, about things we need to do. Why not makes notes about God, too?

As stated, this is a discipline. It does not seem inviting at first, but as the Word says,

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11 ESV

Just to let you know, I had not done my self examen this morning. I stopped just now and did it for myself. It does not matter if you use all the suggestions above or just some of them. The point is to look at yourself and examine your behaviors and attitudes in comparison to the Lord and what He is leading you towards.

Take the time for this. It is so worthwhile!

Posted on in Faith

Two Things Rang Together for Me

Reading a book called, “Sweet Beginnings” by Jessie Gussman I came across this quote,

As a nurse, I hear a lot of complaints on a daily basis, and while I love what I do and truly enjoy listening to my patients, sometimes you just have to nod and agree, because being sick stinks, and sometimes there’s just nothing you can do about it.

-Jessie Gussman

That is so true. I just found the statement eloquent! So simple. I think we can all learn from her statement that sometimes just being willing to nod and agree. Do not try to fix the person. Just let them know you heard them and be powerful for that person.

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
    whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
6 As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
    they make it a place of springs;
    the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
7 They go from strength to strength,
    till each appears before God in Zion.

Psalm 84:5-7 NIV

The Valley of Baca, the valley of tears. Have you been there? I have and I know others who have passed through there, also.

Notice the people described here have their strength in God, their hearts set on pilgrimage. Pilgrimage is defined by American Heritage dictionary as “long journey or search, especially one of exalted purpose or moral significance,” and, “A journey undertaken by a pilgrim; a traveling on through a strange country or to some place deemed sacred in order to perform some religious vow or duty, or obtain some spiritual or miraculous benefit.”

Not if they pass through but AS they pass through the valley of tears, they make it something else, a place of springs. (No, not Tigger’s springs, refreshing water springs.)

How might you convert your tears to springs of refreshing water? I certainly cannot do that without God’s help. And I certainly cannot do it with Tigger’s help, though he does make me smile!

“They go from strength to strength.” That sounds lofty, but all things are possible with God. When you are at the end of your strength and you turn to God asking for His strength, He always seems to have enough to give you some, too.

When I was very young one of my older cousins was working to build Interstate 80 through Emlenton, Pennsylvania. I went to spend time with he and his wife there. Not only were we near Amish settlements, but there was a natural spring that flowed out of a nearby lot.

Posted on in Faith

Pray for Hawaii

Huge wildfires fanned by winds from the storm named Dora are burning on almost every island of Hawaii. Remember I wrote about the Banyan tree? That is in the town of Lahaina. Most of the town has burned to the ground. State of the Banyan is unknown. We enjoyed dinner there twice. This is so very sad. People actually jumped into the ocean for safety.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Family, Humor, Illness and Health, Just do it, medical treatment, Thanks, Yield

Yikes

This week for me holds appointment to get new orthotics and shoes. I do not meet the medicare criteria even though diabetic. Thus, the appointment will be self-pay.

Another appointment for physical therapy. Only opening was during my writing time Tuesday. Good thing I worked ahead!

Another appointment for check up with internist. Are you getting the picture?

We have a dinner to celebrate someone turning 82.

There is an ice cream social with another small group. Figure 20 some folks.

I have been taking Imodium AGAIN this morning. Fear to eat and headache that comes with that running to the bathroom. So back to Tylenol.

So far, Monday has brought a lousy week here.

But, who me? Complain?!? Yep, that’s me.

When my son was very young I was cleaning the bathroom one day and thanked God that I could kneel before HIS throne and not just the one in the bathroom. This week I likely have the cleanest ceramic throne on the entire street!

Grateful we have good medical care and can afford (so far) the things we need to pay for out of pocket. Wish doctors were not ‘practicing” on us and actually had some answers for some of this stuff.

Grumble, grumble old lady.

I am not as hearty as I think I am.

So how did it all work out? A week after I wrote the top part here is my report . New orthotics and shoes are on order. Physical therapy was not as painful as feared. I have done the exercises every day, so far. (Trying to be good for strength and healing.) At dinner for 82 year old I ate some food though not a good appetite. Regretted it the next day.

Saw the internist. He ordered oodles of tests. All the results came back normal. WHAT?!?! So what is the cause of all these bathroom runs? Might never know. He sent Rx for stronger than Imodium drug. Before I took even one dose it all stopped occurring. Thank You Lord.

Maybe eating a sampler (or flight) of ice cream flavors healed me? If only that were true!

So 2-1/2 weeks of the green apple quick trots and I am fine now. Truly. My friend with sciatic pain is still suffering. Bob’s lungs are enjoying clear air this morning after lightning storm moved through last night. They say we are to have rain storms today. Part of me is hoping so.

Pain since Thanksgiving in shoulder is not gone, but no longer consuming all of my attention. Lifting things carefully and trying to use it more than last number of months.

Tonight is Bob’s last meeting as an HOA board member. Tomorrow he works at the election. A draining week for him for certain.

John Eldredge reminds us in Resilient that these are this we are going through. Going through – not necessarily setting up housekeeping here. I am glad to know this in not my final home. I love that Scripture calls me an alien, a sojourner.

Dear friends, since you are immigrants and strangers in the world, I urge that you avoid worldly desires that wage war against your lives. 12 Live honorably among the unbelievers. Today, they defame you, as if you were doing evil. But in the day when God visits to judge they will glorify him, because they have observed your honorable deeds.

1 Peter 2: 11-13 CEB

Immigrants and strangers, just wish the locals would not share their green apple quick trots and other ailments with us! Okay, so it is a little out of context, but you get the idea I hope!

Life is hard she shouted!
Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Like Breath of God

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Thus am I, a feather on the breath of God.

Hildegard of Bingen

I heard this quote many years ago at a retreat. I was so inspired I actually collected feathers and made some note cards with the quote.

What does it mean? The breath of God is a powerful thing. Can you be as moveable as a loose feather? Can you be willing to go where He asks you to go?

This quote is from a blog, written by Jean Wise, (interesting name!) She was so succinct that I cannot improve on her writing!

God calls each of us to be His feather – responding to where He calls us. To be responsive to His nudges. To be open to His grace.

 I want to live as a feather. Not burdened down with the heavy concerns of my heart, but focused, surrendered, dependent entirely on God for every moment. Ah, to be a feather. What a lovely image this is.

https://healthyspirituality.org/a-feather-on-the-breath-of-god-hildegard/
Photo by Hari Singh Tanwar on Unsplash


I pray a gentle breath from God is all it takes to move me. I hope I can be a feather under His direction, doing His bidding.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Journal, medical treatment, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Aging with Minimal Complaining?

Gee, did I just write that title? Sitting here at my desk watching a black cloud settling in to pour it’s rain over a nearby neighborhood, I have been pondering all the physical changes Bob and I have been going through. Sort of like having that black cloud park over our home. I was hit by a triple whammy recently.

Had a steroid injection in my right shoulder on a Monday afternoon. Just imagine the most tender spot in your body, put a needle in it. Inject steroids and see what happens. As a Type 2 diabetic those steroids (and every other situation) make my glucose react. This time to jump sky-high. Yes, next morning my glucose value was 210! I average around 79-110. Pounding headache arrived that Tylenol could not touch. Night #1 slept in recliner as no comfort to be found in the bed. Did not even try to go to sleep in the bed on Night #2. Meantime, I must have eaten something funky. In protest my bowels decided they must be emptied of all substances.

Before those things began my ear decided it was living underwater – or some such, with fluid that would not move out. Eventually, the steroid stopped making my glucose skyrocket. The BRAT diet of banana, rice, applesauce, and toast became just rice. Then a rice cake. After days of trying to hear my ear is still funky after plain Guaifenesin and Pseudoephedrine to try to dry it up. One ear felt left out so it too started to slosh. Shoulder is still touchy. Did not expect injection to heal the partial tear, just give some pain relief. Doc is still talking surgery. Need to sign up for PT. Again.

Meanwhile, Bob has had lung difficulties, pain that wakes him in the night, discomfort that makes it hard to sleep. You know, aging is NOT for sissies! Who knew the decline that comes with aging is not just losing your strength.Nothing here is unusual to humans. If we are blessed with a long life we will have illness, decline and perhaps suffering.

One neighbor fell at the community mailbox and bruised both eyes, chin, face and is fortunate not to have broken anything. Later turned out she did break her elbow. Another neighbor fell in his bathroom and needs shoulder surgery. The doc says he cannot repair both places, only one place in his shoulder. Another friend fell and broke her pelvis. Has been suffering all kinds of severe pain. Another friend flew home from Kentucky only to get home with fever, sore throat and likely Covid. Is it that new strain?

Photo by Sai Abhinivesh Burla on Unsplash

As we lose strength, dexterity and even our health can we fix our eyes on Jesus during these trials? Will we do our best to remember these are things we are going through? It seems when I experience these sorts of set-backs I never quite recover the strength I had prior to the event. Just a little slower, a little weaker, a little less young when things stabilize again.

Perhaps the most important lesson to hold on to is ‘these are things we going THROUGH, not camping here, just having to endure.’ Even chronic pain will not go on forever. When we die and go to Jesus we are promised a new body. Thank goodness for that! Cling to Jesus now. Like the tendril on this morning glory vine sculpture, we wrap our hearts and minds about Him the best we can. He holds us. We hold to Him.

Again and again I am brought back to my own prayer,

I have determined that this day, 

each time I am drawn up short by pain, 

I will praise You 

for I love You better than life – 

even better than quality of life.

Molly Lin Dutina

I am always amazed that if I pray this with focus and sincerity, (usually from a 4 x 6 card), my attention is drawn to Jesus and away from all the what-ifs and if-onlys. We cannot control our circumstances, but we can control our hearts, our mind-set. Using the pain to draw myself back to Christ is a powerful panacea.

Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash

May you lean hard upon the One who loves you best and knows you even in the sleepless nights. Blessings, Molly D.

Even to your old age and gray hairs
    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 46:4 NIV

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Poetry, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Loneliness

The vile mud pot that bubbles through my life. Wants to contaminate everything. Makes me irritable. Unable to see the best in others.

There was a poem I found that helped a bit. I first read this while on retreat recently. I believe Joan Chittister had it in one of her devotional books.

Home of My Loneliness   by Karl Rahner

In the curve of my heart 
lies a hollow place 
where grudging loneliness asks a welcome. 
In that empty chamber of solitairiness 
You rest Your consistent, welcoming love 
on the heartsick and patterned 
discontent of my gloomy days 
and shredded dreams. 
You care for my loneliness with affection 
during the times when no one 
and no thing soothes 
the deep yearning 
sitting listlessly 
inside the arid place of my discontented self. 
The Home of Loneliness welcomes me.

As I found solace in this poem I also remembered a piece of coral we found in Hawaii.

“You rest, Your consistent, welcoming love,” “You care for my loneliness with affection”. The Holy One knows my hollow place. I am held in that consistent, welcoming love. My loneliness, which at times I detest and want to deny is cared for by the Trinity. Even that place. Even those feelings.

Chronic illness has taught me so much about loneliness. Only those who have suffered can truly understand the plight of the chronically sick. The ambivalence of taking medication that may or may not help. The side effects that can send you into a ‘tizzy.” The wisdom of prayer and listening to your own body when making decisions about self-care. The Word says to ask God and He will give you wisdom. James 1:5-6 NIV

Photo by Tijs van Leur on Unsplash

My parents dying when I was young (aged eleven when Dad died, aged 24 when Mom died) has taught we so much about loneliness. When your family of origin is gone when you are just forming your own family, the word difficult does not describe the impact upon your life.

Next time you sense that “deep yearning sitting listlessly inside the arid place of (your) discontented self” I urge you to turn that place and those feelings to the Holy One. The internet says there one hundred verses about God holding us in or with His hand.

Yet I am always with you;
    you hold me by my right hand.

Psalm 73:23 NIV

Once during a retreat I spent several hours walking the retreat grounds and envisioning the Lord holding my right hand. Though that was many years ago, to this day I remember how poignant that experience was. You might want to try that for yourself. The Holy Trinity is always with us and walks close, even when we are unaware.

Photo by Iryna Marienko on Unsplash
Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Move Your Mind

Yesterday was tremendously difficult. Bob and I were both struggling with frustrating chores and situations. Then I snapped at him and things got even worse. I had to really work to get my brain and soul into a better, calmer place. There was nothing earth shattering, except great difficulty mentally and spiritually. I apologized for my outburst. He forgave me and the day went on.

Photo by Evgeniya Litovchenko on Unsplash

This morning on a podcast I heard an interviewee tell the moderator that with his broadcast he casts a ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark network of podcasts, social media, etc. I thought, “You know, that is that is what I try to do with this blog. A ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world.” Then I returned to my desk and lying open was the following paragraph written by John Eldredge in Resilient.

Photo by Rocco Caruso on Unsplash

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, right and pure, lovely ad admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8). Think about something beautiful, something that reminds you of the goodness of God. A place you love. A sweet memory. Something in nature. Something that makes you smile.

Now stay with that today.

Resilient by Eldredge Page 172

Even when things are terrible, we have the ability to move our minds to other places. We can cry out to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to help us. Nothing is easy when the warfare is raging against us. There are times I think for the Christian in this day and age nothing is easy period.

The chorus from the following song was rolling around in me this morning. I pray that if you come upon a warfare struggle like what I faced yesterday you can move towards Jesus and not away.

Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul, I live for you alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have your way in me
Have your way
Recorded by Hillsong music, written by Reuben Timothy Morgan, 2002
Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks

Rest Here A Moment

“May I rest here a moment”, asked the tree?

“Certainly”, replied the rock.

The tree placed it’s hand-root upon the rock. Fifty years later it was still there.

Found during hike at Hocking Hills

Have you given yourself a time to rest in the LORD?

He is the rock of our salvation.

Psalm 62:6

He said to them, “Come with me privately to an isolated place and rest a while.”

Mark 6:31a NIV

Jesus our rock tells us to rest. Enter His rest. Be restored. Are we doing those things? They are all to our benefit.