Category: Spiritual growth

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Listen, Memories, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Trust, Worship, Yield

Knitting and Hinds Feet

Just before I left for retreat I decided to pick up the knitting I learned a few years ago. I have crocheted for over 50 years. About the time Bob retired I decided I should learn to knit. After all those years of crochet I was able to knit the continental method, but never very well. So I got out my needles and set to work. First thing you need to do to knit is called casting on. I could not remember how to do that! I watched YouTube videos. Did not get it. Asked at the Journey Together In Stitches group at Transfiguration Convent and voila! It came back to me with a little help from my friend Bonnie! “Slingshot method”

It can be difficult on a week-long silent retreat to stay quiet and listen. I know the Lord has spoken to me before while crocheting and doing hand work. I wondered how to keep my brain from taking off down unnecessary thought paths.

This is the cover of the first copy I purchased.

About 1997 I had read a book entitled Hinds Feet on High Places, A Christian Allegory.

The book impacted me so much that I gave away every paperback copy that I ever purchased. I finally found it in hardback and made my self buy it so I would keep it. The book is so chock full of Scripture and I delighted in finding the references to each one that I recognized. I wrote my notes in the front of the book. A few years after that a group of us were interested in the story as a study. There was no such thing in the Christian resource world. So I wrote a group study based on the text.

On retreat, I went to my computer link to the library wondering, hoping, they might have an audio version of the book? They not only had one, it was available! The recording is about 5-1/2 hours long. I spent some of the retreat knitting and listening to this wonderful book.

I remembered when I first read it and the Lord was teaching me some of the lessons He gave to Much-Afraid. Her first letter of the alphabet “Acceptance with Joy.”

Where the water drops fell one by one, there grew the little golden flower, though where the seed had come from, Much-Afraid could not imagine, for there were no birds anywhere and no other growing things….She asked, “What is your name, little flower, for I never saw one like you before.” The tiny plant answered at once in a tone as golden as itself, “Behold me! My name is Acceptance-with-Joy.” At that Much-Afraid decided, “I, too, will look up in to His face and say, “Behold me! I am thy little handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy.” from H. Hurnard’s book Hinds Feet on High Places.

Can you declare the same thing to Christ? Regardless of what comes your way or how your body chooses to age, can you declare to the Almighty, “Behold me, Acceptance-with Joy?”

I have mastered casting on (for now). I have knit a couple small washcloths. I have remembered that this is what the Good Shepherd asks of me, that I follow Him with Acceptance and Joy. Are you able to pick up this challenge?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

27 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. Luke 12:25-31 NIV

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Trust, Yield

Say Yes to Our Shepherd

This morning I listened to another wonderful sermon by Jordan Rice from Harlem Renaissance Church. He always gives me food for thought. https://renaissancenyc.com/media/dckm3vp/superficial-spirituality In this sermon he spoke a little bit about a good shepherd saying in effect, “the shepherd does not tell the sheep go up there to the corner, turn left, go about a mile and take 3 more rights… No, the Good Shepherd leads and goes with the sheep.”

Do you know the Shepherd I follow? It is such a comfort to remember that I never travel alone. I am always accompanied. You are also if you follow Him. Did you watch the latest episode of The Chosen? It has a great scene of Jesus identifying and teaching about the Good Shepherd.

 “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. 12 The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. 13 The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.

14 “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— 15 just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16 I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd. 17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life—only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” John 10:11-18 NIV

On my recent retreat we were encouraged to say yes to God. Everything that God asks of us, says we should do, to all of it a resounding YES! Cooperation with His will is no small thing. Even if it seems small at the time, obedience is the best path to follow.

But Samuel replied: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. 1 Samuel 15:22 NIV

Why should I say yes to God? There is a rather plain explanation in Isaiah.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord.
9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are My ways higher than your ways
    and My thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9 ESV

The Holy One always has our best in mind. We usually do not see exactly where obedience will lead us, but we can always trust the Trinity to take us to a better place!

Jordan is one under-shepherd I gladly follow!

Posted on in Beagle, Faith, Family, medical treatment, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Writing Life, Yield

Currently

As you read this I am on my way to a six night, seven day retreat with my spiritual director. I made this adventure last year and am really looking forward to the experience once again. So I likely will not be posting on the blog next week. My typical routine is to write on Monday and Tuesday mornings and post Wednesday through Sunday. This week I will reside in a Sisters of Charity guest room. Private room with half bath, shared but private shower room. All meals included plus nice grounds for walking, rooms for prayer, art work. Just a lovely place. They even have a huge church in the building if I want to go there.

We changed from one internet/TV/phone provider to another last week so Bob in particular has been busy, busy this week with setting up remote controls, learning the remote basics and getting us all situated. I typed a smaller channel guide from the large one they provided.

I have been learning how to use the CGM, (Continuous Glucose Monitor) to make my decisions about foods I eat, how often I eat, etc. The two most annoying things are when the alarm from this device rings in the night and when it loses signal. I even changed the device implanted on my arm on my own this week! Took out the old one (painless). Inserted the new one which was painless but still foreign to me. The hardest thing was getting the container for the new one open. I had to get Bob to do it. I was not strong enough. Grrr. Doctor has changed when I take one of the diabetic medications. We are still working to adjust some aspects of my care.

Lucky, our special beagle is improving with her new monthly arthritis injection, Librela. Her tail is much more straight as she walks now and she can walk further than 2 months ago. She still gets stiff (we can relate!) but she seems to be in much less pain.

Bob has resumed riding his bike at least once a week. We both walk for exercise most every morning. I have been clocking at least one mile a day. Told myself I can take a day off when there is morning rain. Trying to work up to longer walks which will be a challenge in this hot, humid weather. Ha! at the convent I can even walk when it rains! No idea how many times I will need to circle a floor to get a mile! Not quite ready to attempt their indoor stairs.

Three old dogs living here and maybe not new tricks, but adapting to changing ages, technology and health. Whew! It can be a lot of work to keep up, stay calm and work at something you are unfamiliar with. So that is the Dutina update!

I pray you are each doing your fair share of adapting to change and growing in new technological advances!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Trust, Worship, Yield

Tiny Brass Chair

Sitting in my prayer chair, waking up the morning of May 31st, I heard this:

Even to your old age and gray hairs
    I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
    I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4 NIV

The Message of the same verse reads:

“Listen to me, family of Jacob,
    everyone that’s left of the family of Israel.
I’ve been carrying you on my back
    from the day you were born,
And I’ll keep on carrying you when you’re old.
    I’ll be there, bearing you when you’re old and gray.
I’ve done it and will keep on doing it,
    carrying you on my back, saving you.”

Brings to mind the image of refugees or flood victims fleeing and carrying old people on their backs. Proud Americans do not like to think this image is about them, yet we all need God to carry us, regardless of age.

Listening to Lectio 360 the same day they related a story about a man whose wife battled chronic illness for 20 years. People WANT someone to blame. Many years ago when I sought prayer for strength and courage to cope with my chronic illness a “charismatic” preacher said to me, “I thought you knew better than that,” as if I should never be ill. Shame is not helpful in those situations! God TOLD me He would be with me in the fibromyalgia.

Should I push God aside and shout, “but You have to heal me! You promised if I did such and so I would be healed.” We tend to see others who have physical afflictions as if they are less than ourselves, as if they are responsible for the failing of their body. What a crock of hooey! Those of us who suffer need the courage of the Lion of Judah, the strength of the Risen Christ to help in times of need.

 Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16 NRSV

Even Bob was struck in Lectio by the story of the woman with chronic illness. He wanted to be certain I listened on that day, and I had. The story is like what I was told … there is unresolved anger in your past, that is why you are ill. Let us just pray over you …sleep on a bed of magnets to be healed …drink this particular juice made from an exotic fruit … its all in your head. (Yep! those are actual things I was told!)

And to the remark about it all being in my head I replied, “Yes, in my head, my elbows, shoulders, hips. You name it I hurt there or I did last week or will next week.”

Fibro caused me to live in a high state of denial. That same logic does not work with diabetes. I AM angry at having diabetes, but I understand some of the disease in under my control, though there are many factors that are not. The Continuous Glucose Monitor no longer lets me live in that state of denial regarding diabetes. I must confess I am shocked at the effect certain foods have upon me. I must limit or eliminate those from my consumption.

In my nick knack collection I have a tiny brass chair that used to be in the windowsill. It reminds me that Christ is in our midst, ‘the unseen guest at every meal’. In the photo below it fell forward in the glass fronted case. At first I wondered how long it had been like that? Then I wondered if I could right it without dropping it behind the bookcase that rests below the display? Then I rejoiced that AGAIN the Lord has gotten my attention. I set a place for Him at the table of my life.


Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, give me eyes to see and ears to hear that I might proclaim Your glory.

Posted on in Art, Book quotes, Faith, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Traveling, Trust, Worship

O Lord our God

Have you ever visited a place and later thought, “Wow! I wish I had stayed longer.” We need to linger in those places that touch our souls. I feel this way about the National Cathedral in Washington D.C.

I think I need to begin my prayers addressing my Father as Lord God Ruler of the Universe. How often I seem to forget that fact. The things of this world and the drama of American politics, (where some of the actors think they are the most important beings) distracts and disgusts me.

But my Father, the Lord God Ruler of the Universe is not bothered by those things. Just as the fish and turtles at the nature center are not concerned with my blood glucose, my Father is not distracted by things of the world.

Lord God, Ruler of the Universe, it seems as if You are not in charge, but I know what Your Word says. You win. I believe You are Alpha and Omega, Ruler of the World.

As depicted below from the Walker Hancock High Altar, National Cathedral, Washington D.C.

May Your power be known and recognized in America as the only power going on forever. May every knee bow and every tongue confess that You are Lord.

I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.

14 “Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city. 15 Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood. Revelation 22: 13-15 NIV

Lord God Ruler of the Universe I worship and adore You.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Memories, Praise, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Worship

Did You Watch It?

Season 4 Episode 1 of The Chosen was broadcast last weekend and we were delighted to have it on again. Very interesting that the church we visited used many of the same Scriptures and images that the show did. Made me wonder if they have an “in” with the program or if it was just the Holy Spirit at work, again!

When I attended the Soul Collage retreat in May of this year I found this picture. It moved me deeply. I share it with you not knowing if there is a copyright on it or not. If there is, my apologies to the photographer.

I immediately thought of the prayer quoted in the Eucharist by some churches:

"Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation,
for through your goodness we have received
the wine we offer you:
fruit of the vine and work of human hands,
it will become our spiritual drink."

And like in the Chosen, the website Jewish Voice says:

Blessed are You O Lord, our God, King of the Universe, who creates the fruit of the vine.

To me, it is no small thing the the Lord draws all of these things together for us. It is my plan to write the prayer of blessing/thanksgiving on the photo.

When we had our very first house on 1/2 acre of land, Bob not only planted a large garden but also wanted to grow grapes. And grow them he did! I quickly learned that if I was going to help harvest the grapes I better wear rubber gloves (thicker than cotton garden gloves) in case the wasps and bees were there ahead of me. Now we are fortunate if we can purchase fresh concord grapes in a market.

Blessed are You O Lord our God, King of the Universe. May we always see Your hand at work in our midst.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Trust

What an Idea!

Be a lamp or a lifeboat or a ladder. Help someone’s soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd.

RUMI – 13th century poet

My lamp over Grogu’s head – my humor, my lamp
Contemporary Lifeboats

How would you live this out?

Lamp, life boat, or ladder? How do you relate to the idea? Do you shine? Offer assistance? Give a leg up?

Rumi said, “Walk out of your house like a shepherd.” A shepherd is intent on many things. If you are uncertain what those might be, try reading W. Phillip Keller’s A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23.

The only real, practical measure of my appreciation for the goodness and mercy of God to me is the extent to which I am , in turn, prepared to show goodness and mercy to others.

If I am unable to forgive and extend friendship to fallen men and women, then it is quite certain I know little or nothing in a practical sense of Christ’s forgiveness and mercy to me.

It is this lack of love among Christians which today makes the church an insipid, lukewarm institution. People come to find affection and are turned off by our tepidity.

But men and women who know firsthand about the goodness and mercy of God in their own lives will be warm and affectionate with goodness and mercy to others. This is to be a benefit to them, but equally important, it is to be a blessing to God.

Yes, a blessing to God! W. Phillip Keller 1970 A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23, Chapter 11

How could you possibly help someone’s soul heal? I bet there are more ways than you have ever considered. It is well worth your time to consider this and make the best use of what God has given you and what you are asked to do. I dare you to spend time with this idea and write down what comes to you. Then pray about the ideas and begin to act on those in the context of your life. You just might find treasures in plain sight!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Poetry, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Worship

Enjoying Various Versions

I know there are some who claim the only authentic version of the Bible is the King James version. I am not one of them. I have used the King James, but I find that other translations help me relate to God better. I do not speak King James English or think in King James English.

Recently while visiting a liturgical church I was exposed to Psalm 104 from the St. Helena Psalter. I want to share it with you. Hope I am not violating any copyrights. There is nothing in the program that suggests the church had special permission, so here goes.

25 O Holy One, how manifold are your works!
	in wisdom you have made them all;
	the earth is full of your creatures.
26 Yonder is the great and wide seas
	with its living this too many to number
	creatures both small and great.
27 There move the ships,
	and there is that leviathan.
	which you have made for the sport of it.
28 All of them look to you
	to give them their food in due season.
29 You give it to them; they gather it;
You open your hand, and they are filled with good things.
30 You hide your face, and they are terrified;
	You take away their breath,
	And they die and return to their dust.
31 You send forth your Spirit, and they are created;
	And so you renew the face of the earth.
32 May the glory of God endure for ever:
	May the Holy One rejoice in all his works.
33 God looks at the earth and it trembles;
	God touches the mountains and they some.
34 I will sing to God as long as I live;
	I will praise my God while I have my being.
35 May these words of mine find favor;
I will rejoice in the Holy One.
37 Bless the Holy One, O my soul.
	Hallelujah!

Perhaps the whale shark is the Leviathan? Saw these on a PBS special recently. Was amazed at their size!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Worship, Writing Life

Stream of Consciousness

Have you ever just sat and written a stream of consciousness on paper or on a computer? It can be an amazing experiment showing where you have been and where you are. What follows are a few of my random entries. Maybe it will spark ideas on how you can benefit from it.

Looking back at a torn page from travel: Rhododendron leaves reflect the sun as if festooned with tiny mirrors. A breeze blows through and the mirrors reflect the movement of the wind.

Help me daily to sit in silence and LET GO everything

As I child I “sang, stop, look and listen.” As an adult God asks me to stop, look and listen to Him, to my life around me, to my inner chatter that threatens to block out His voice.To hear as one with opened ears.

The guy next door is riding his mower around after the tremendous rains and soaring temperatures we have had lately. I hear him humming around and around his house. The sound carries into the office in the front of our house where I am writing. He has no idea I am writing about him, (I giggle).

When was the last time I came to a full stop? Likely at the cemetery where the headstone says Daughters. And I listened for the Holy One to speak. I was not disappointed.

I wish all of my word processors would autocorrect when I type teh and make it the.

The sky is full of wing shaped clouds this morning. Are they to remind me of angels’ wings or to take shelter under the wing of the Almighty?

Where is your brain? Can you tap into the chatter and then will you choose what to weed out? Point your focus upon the Christ and see where He leads you!

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  Hebrews 12:1-2a NIV

You are in charge of what you allow to remain in your mind.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Faith, Just do it, Listen, Nature, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Writing Life

What Fear Can Do

Took me years to attend the group called Women Writing for a Change. I was raised in an alcoholic home. The number one form of child discipline was criticism and shame. The idea of sharing my writing with a group of women for critique was beyond intimidating to me.

This is part of my speed writing exercise from that meeting. “She walked into the meeting space blinded at first by the brilliant morning sun. As her eyes settled in, the sudden realization broke over her that this is not much different than crochet group. A bunch of women with a common interest. Huh. Wonder why she never considered that before?  Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind.  So here she is today, willing to expose herself to this practice of sharing her writing and  “listening to others’ writing with attention and deep listening.” God, help me give them the same consideration I desire.

When it was my turn to share, I felt like a child as I gulped and read my poem aloud. Did not tell them I wrote this after our daughter’s wedding as we sat at the beach. At the time, I was absolutely exhausted and glad for a time to be refreshed.

At the Sea ©1997 Molly Lin Dutina
Distant silver horizon
Birthed by Your Light
Breaks through leaden skies
Enlightens slate-colored seas
Calls me to You
Closer to You
Given over to You
Nothing withheld.

And I yield to You
To lie in Your arms
Imbibing Holy Breath
Entire being – renewed.

Your sparkling glow
Moves rapidly across the expanse of water
To here and now
You surround me
Uphold me
Indwell me
Live through me.

How could I ever hesitate
Preferring dim to illumined?
You enlighten me
Flaws, shortcomings,
Weaknesses, strengths and all.
Fact: You love me.
Fact: You desire me
You declare I am Yours.

Like sudden deep piles of shells
Buried, unseen yesterday
Revealed today by the powerful tide
Your Kingdom unfolds before me and
Yes, Lord, I yield
Knowing You go with me
And will arrive ahead of me
You have my life in Your scarred hands.

Abiding under Your wing
Your Light fills the throne room
And I must close my eyes
To bear Your brightness
O, All-Powerful Lord,
I refuse to doubt Your methods
Your holy mercy endures
As You bathe me
In Your everlasting Love.

Come my King
O Light Eternal
Bring forth the treasure
You have hidden within me
As I embrace Your will
Illumine me.

The practice was for those of us who were listening to write down phrases that struck us as the others read. When all the readings were finished, we participated in ‘popcorn’ response, each of us just saying out loud what hit us. I was touched by the words that came from what I had written. I shared lines from others, too.

I am not certain this practice group is what I need. I am not going to sign up for the 10 week group that begins in a day or two. I believe God will show me where to share my writing and what the plan is for the future. If that plan becomes Women Writing for a Change I will post it here.

Yesterday I went to the garage to put used sharps in the red container. As I stepped close to the container on top of the freezer I saw a snake. A very large snake (maybe 4-5 feet long) draped along the base of Bob’s antique lab chair on wheels. Fear can do nasty things to women of sound mind. I made it into the house to call Bob. He came running and grabbed the old wooden cane from Scotland. He too was surprised at the size. Told me to move the car. While I went to get the keys he decided to roll the lab chair, complete with snake, out of the garage and into the grass. He clubbed it on the ground with the cane. Asked me to get a five gallon bucket because it was still alive… Using the cane he put it in the bucket and continued to club it. That racket of cane clubbing within plastic bucket brought out the neighbor. He too recently had a snake in his garage, though not this large. We told him his snake has been feeding and growing! He teased us that it looked meaty. We could have it for supper. I told him naw, he could have it all.

Bob took a photo. Yuck.

Finally determined this was a gray rat snake. Oh gross. I do not want to post a photo of what the snake looked like. Feel free to look it up yourself! It is dead. I amazingly did not have nightmares about it. What is it about snakes? I have this primeval fear that makes me freeze when I see a snake. I become almost incoherent. Is it linked to Scripture when Eve was deceived by the serpent?

So the Lord God said to the serpent:

“Because you have done this,
You are cursed more than all cattle,
And more than every beast of the field;
On your belly you shall go,
And you shall eat dust
All the days of your life. Genesis 3:14 NIV

I often wonder what I will do in these situations if Bob should die before I do. Dealing with snakes might be the worst one I can imagine. If – the snake had gone behind the freezer (which is where it was headed). If – I had not seen it when I did. Oh I could go on and on with scary scenarios of IF. Bob’s favorite: IF we had opened the door to the garage and it had entered the house. EWW!

For today, I am glad the snake is gone and my husband of 53+ years is still with me. Forgive me, Father, for my inordinate fear. Lead and guide me in how You wish to use the writing and I pray it is all to Your glory.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;
    he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4