Going inward with the deep blue of the bachelor buttons I sink down.
I take the encompassing blue with me. Down.
I drop my shoulders
Down I breathe the blue petals.
Knowing the blue from the petals will fade. Down.
For now they wrap me in stillness. Down.
Wash me in the blue brightness I pray. Down.
Not Mrs. Stewart’s bluing agent. Down.
But the true blue of fresh flower. Down.
Peculiar petals, Down.
Not like tea rose. Down.
To where I am nestled inside the flower.
Down.
Beyond the pollen gathering bees. Down.
Sitting still in the Blues
And restored.
As you can tell I have been riding a wave of poetry. The book Every Day is a Poem by Jacqueline Suskin has helped to challenge and inspire me. Uncertain how long this wave will last. Hope you are enjoying it!
I was frustrated as I have 4 photos of the flowers that I wanted to intersperse with the verses. Word Press was having none of that. I suppose if I spent enough time changing blocks and formatting I might get it. Hopefully, you grasped the idea, even without all the photos!
My friend and I both have this auto immune condition called scalp plaque psoriasis. It is a scaly itchy condition with lumps on the scalp. I swear I feel like a @#*(&#@% monkey. I scratch unconsciously because it itches almost every waking hour. I have even woken myself up scratching in the night. The warning is not to scratch as that can make for hair loss. When one itches like this the warnings mean nothing.
Not only do we itch but we also shed these overgrown skin cells. Don’t think dandruff, think heavy snow storm. Nope there is no cure. There are some prescription remedies that try to tame the symptoms. No cure. Oh, I remember! They are PRACTICING medicine on us. We are the practice subjects, along with 7.5 million other Americans. yikes.
Snow Squall
I read my iPad mini in bed. Sometimes I am too tired to put it away in the drawer and simply slide it under my pillow. When I got up this morning I heard a slide then bump. I looked in the drawer. Nothing in there. I moved my pillow aside to make certain I had not missed it. Then I saw the blizzard of skin cells on the dark blue sheet. Yuck. Sure enough, the iPad had been under my pillow and slipped off the end of the bed. I got down on the floor (a feat in itself!) but I could not see it. The dog wondered if I was doing morning stretches like she does. I call her Slinky Dog. I got out the bedside mini flashlight. There it was. Had to find the extension picker-upper thingy. Got on the floor again and retrieved the iPad. Finally, I went to the front closet to get the sweeper.
I have heard it said we should vacuum our beds several times a year because each of us shed skin cells, but this was ridiculous. I suppose there is a snow storm headed to my bed every single night as this condition continues. She recently commented how badly she needed to vacuum her black car seat.
I brush my hair and there are snow squalls. At times, white out conditions!
I am not entirely hopeful the dermatologist can bring this under control. And now, sadly, I have it on my ear, too. Never. Ever. Ask what else can go wrong.
LORD, I need patience and now would be a really good time to send that! Amen.
I had a tooth cut out yesterday by oral surgeon. Seems the molar had decayed beneath the crown (on the lingual side?) so badly that if they tried to pull it most likely it would just break. So yes, I had anesthesia similar to twilight sleep during a colonoscopy, then he went about cutting it out. Promised me stitches that would dissolve on their own.
All this to say this type of disruption sends Type 2 diabetes into chaos, not to mention the pain of extraction and subsequent healing. Will be sipping chicken noodle soup broth, milkshake with a spoon, applesauce, whatever I can think of trying not to fill a crater with stitches with food scraps.
Not like I have never been through this before: I will only have 8 teeth of my own left after this procedure. Dentist plans to build a “flexible partial” 4-6 weeks after extraction. This will be an autumn of soft foods and large dental expenditure.
Will be relieved to get the nasty taste from this decay out of my mouth. My teeth have been rotting for over 50 years. I gave up on them a long time ago. With all the other health issues I just got to where I did not care any more.
So please, pray for me and for Bob as he takes care of me during recovery. We had dinner reservations at a church for a program entitled “Death over Dinner.” I had to cancel my reservation since it occurred day of extraction and I won’t be eating anything, needing to stay close to my ice pack. I found it amusing as I age and decline. Humorous that the verse below did not include ‘toothless wonder.”
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
The other day I was pondering since I am going to try to do more with Inter-parish Ministry (feeding the hungry) and I already lead a biweekly small group and just finished a weekly small group, do I sign up to help in a fifth grade classroom, too? As well as write and blog? The quote below came to mind. Like many good quotes this one has controversy over who actually wrote it or said it. Dickens? Wesley? H. R. Clinton?
John Wesley was a prominent English religious figure whose teachings inspired Methodism. (Faith of my mother and grandparents.) The following elaborate injunction is sometimes called “John Wesley’s Rule of Life”:
Do all the good you can, By all the means you can, In all the ways you can, In all the places you can, At all the times you can, To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.
The 1799 work “Sermons on Several Occasions” by Reverend John Wesley contained a homily on “The Law Established through Faith” with the following guidance.
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Neither is love content with barely working no evil to our neighbour. It continually incites us to do good: as we have time, and opportunity, to do good in every possible kind, and in every possible degree to all men.
John Wesley
I need to rearrange my writing schedule as that one day seems to always be interrupted by medical appointments. Is there time to fit another activity in this calendar? At what point am I over-committed and prone to burn out?
As they teach at Walk to Emmaus or Cursillo life leads us to Do-Be-Do-Be-Do. I will pray about these decisions. Eventually it will become clear what time to block off for writing. Currently that has been Monday and Tuesday mornings. Inter Parish Ministry has been every other week. Oh, then we throw in volleyball games at college level with Grandgirl (when the games are in town, 6 PM) and soccer games with grandson (when times coincide with what we can accomplish, Saturday mornings). My husband and I wonder why we are so tired? In our seventies and get weary over seemingly nothing.
Help Lord we need wisdom about all the good, all the ways, all the means, all the places, all the times, all the peoples, but most of all, WE WANT YOU, Lord Jesus!
Gee, did I just write that title? Sitting here at my desk watching a black cloud settling in to pour it’s rain over a nearby neighborhood, I have been pondering all the physical changes Bob and I have been going through. Sort of like having that black cloud park over our home. I was hit by a triple whammy recently.
Had a steroid injection in my right shoulder on a Monday afternoon. Just imagine the most tender spot in your body, put a needle in it. Inject steroids and see what happens. As a Type 2 diabetic those steroids (and every other situation) make my glucose react. This time to jump sky-high. Yes, next morning my glucose value was 210! I average around 79-110. Pounding headache arrived that Tylenol could not touch. Night #1 slept in recliner as no comfort to be found in the bed. Did not even try to go to sleep in the bed on Night #2. Meantime, I must have eaten something funky. In protest my bowels decided they must be emptied of all substances.
Before those things began my ear decided it was living underwater – or some such, with fluid that would not move out. Eventually, the steroid stopped making my glucose skyrocket. The BRAT diet of banana, rice, applesauce, and toast became just rice. Then a rice cake. After days of trying to hear my ear is still funky after plain Guaifenesin and Pseudoephedrine to try to dry it up. One ear felt left out so it too started to slosh. Shoulder is still touchy. Did not expect injection to heal the partial tear, just give some pain relief. Doc is still talking surgery. Need to sign up for PT. Again.
Meanwhile, Bob has had lung difficulties, pain that wakes him in the night, discomfort that makes it hard to sleep. You know, aging is NOT for sissies! Who knew the decline that comes with aging is not just losing your strength.Nothing here is unusual to humans. If we are blessed with a long life we will have illness, decline and perhaps suffering.
One neighbor fell at the community mailbox and bruised both eyes, chin, face and is fortunate not to have broken anything. Later turned out she did break her elbow. Another neighbor fell in his bathroom and needs shoulder surgery. The doc says he cannot repair both places, only one place in his shoulder. Another friend fell and broke her pelvis. Has been suffering all kinds of severe pain. Another friend flew home from Kentucky only to get home with fever, sore throat and likely Covid. Is it that new strain?
As we lose strength, dexterity and even our health can we fix our eyes on Jesus during these trials? Will we do our best to remember these are things we are goingthrough? It seems when I experience these sorts of set-backs I never quite recover the strength I had prior to the event. Just a little slower, a little weaker, a little less young when things stabilize again.
Perhaps the most important lesson to hold on to is ‘these are things we going THROUGH, not camping here, just having to endure.’ Even chronic pain will not go on forever. When we die and go to Jesus we are promised a new body. Thank goodness for that! Cling to Jesus now. Like the tendril on this morning glory vine sculpture, we wrap our hearts and minds about Him the best we can. He holds us. We hold to Him.
Again and again I am brought back to my own prayer,
I have determined that this day,
each time I am drawn up short by pain,
I will praise You
for I love You better than life –
even better than quality of life.
Molly Lin Dutina
I am always amazed that if I pray this with focus and sincerity, (usually from a 4 x 6 card), my attention is drawn to Jesus and away from all the what-ifs and if-onlys. We cannot control our circumstances, but we can control our hearts, our mind-set. Using the pain to draw myself back to Christ is a powerful panacea.
May you lean hard upon the One who loves you best and knows you even in the sleepless nights. Blessings, Molly D.
Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
The vile mud pot that bubbles through my life. Wants to contaminate everything. Makes me irritable. Unable to see the best in others.
There was a poem I found that helped a bit. I first read this while on retreat recently. I believe Joan Chittister had it in one of her devotional books.
Home of My Loneliness by Karl Rahner
In the curve of my heart
lies a hollow place
where grudging loneliness asks a welcome.
In that empty chamber of solitairiness
You rest Your consistent, welcoming love
on the heartsick and patterned
discontent of my gloomy days
and shredded dreams.
You care for my loneliness with affection
during the times when no one
and no thing soothes
the deep yearning
sitting listlessly
inside the arid place of my discontented self.
The Home of Loneliness welcomes me.
As I found solace in this poem I also remembered a piece of coral we found in Hawaii.
“You rest, Your consistent, welcoming love,” “You care for my loneliness with affection”. The Holy One knows my hollow place. I am held in that consistent, welcoming love. My loneliness, which at times I detest and want to deny is cared for by the Trinity. Even that place. Even those feelings.
Chronic illness has taught me so much about loneliness. Only those who have suffered can truly understand the plight of the chronically sick. The ambivalence of taking medication that may or may not help. The side effects that can send you into a ‘tizzy.” The wisdom of prayer and listening to your own body when making decisions about self-care. The Word says to ask God and He will give you wisdom. James 1:5-6 NIV
My parents dying when I was young (aged eleven when Dad died, aged 24 when Mom died) has taught we so much about loneliness. When your family of origin is gone when you are just forming your own family, the word difficult does not describe the impact upon your life.
Next time you sense that “deep yearning sitting listlessly inside the arid place of (your) discontented self” I urge you to turn that place and those feelings to the Holy One. The internet says there one hundred verses about God holding us in or with His hand.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand.
Psalm 73:23 NIV
Once during a retreat I spent several hours walking the retreat grounds and envisioning the Lord holding my right hand. Though that was many years ago, to this day I remember how poignant that experience was. You might want to try that for yourself. The Holy Trinity is always with us and walks close, even when we are unaware.
Yesterday was tremendously difficult. Bob and I were both struggling with frustrating chores and situations. Then I snapped at him and things got even worse. I had to really work to get my brain and soul into a better, calmer place. There was nothing earth shattering, except great difficulty mentally and spiritually. I apologized for my outburst. He forgave me and the day went on.
This morning on a podcast I heard an interviewee tell the moderator that with his broadcast he casts a ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark network of podcasts, social media, etc. I thought, “You know, that is that is what I try to do with this blog. A ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world.” Then I returned to my desk and lying open was the following paragraph written by John Eldredge in Resilient.
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, right and pure, lovely ad admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8). Think about something beautiful, something that reminds you of the goodness of God. A place you love. A sweet memory. Something in nature. Something that makes you smile.
Now stay with that today.
Resilient by Eldredge Page 172
Even when things are terrible, we have the ability to move our minds to other places. We can cry out to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to help us. Nothing is easy when the warfare is raging against us. There are times I think for the Christian in this day and age nothing is easy period.
The chorus from the following song was rolling around in me this morning. I pray that if you come upon a warfare struggle like what I faced yesterday you can move towards Jesus and not away.
Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul, I live for you alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have your way in me
Have your way
Recorded by Hillsong music, written by Reuben Timothy Morgan, 2002
One of my favorite new artists is Brandon Lake. He is such a powerful figure in contemporary Christian music, I ask that you pray for him and his family. I had not listened to his album, “Help!” recently. When I put it on the other day I was blessed once again. This bridge lyric stuck with me to the point I had to go look up the exact lyrics.
All my Sorrows Turned to Dancing All my pain Turned into Joy And all my Tears Turned into Laughter And all my fear Turned to a Roar
So Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Praise the Lord Praise the Lord
Judah Akers and Brandon Lake, Meant for Good
I think that describes our life with Jesus so perfectly. At the time of our sorrows, pain and tears we cannot perceive this turning. Yet, consider Psalm 30.
Hear me, Lord, and have mercy on me. Help me, O Lord.
11 You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy, 12 that I might sing praises to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever!
Psalm 30:10-12 The Living Translation
The Bible says Jesus took our sin and made us the righteousness of God through him. (2 Corinthians 5:21) Don’t ask me how but it is true.
and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61:3 NIV
I urge you trade in the things you have been clinging to that weigh you down and sadden your heart. Make an uneven trade with the LORD Jesus Christ. He waits for you to release these things to Him so He can fill you with His good thins.
We don’t have to pretend to be fine when we are not. We don’t need to push through and be strong. Gratitude is a soft landing place that requires us to be honest, open, and willing to look at everything we’re facing and not turn away.
Alex Elle
I find that quote really powerful. The tremendous freedom in it! Gratitude “REQUIRES us to be honest, open, and willing to look at everything we’re facing and not turn away.”
A dear friend of many years suffered a fall a couple months ago. She shattered several bones. The pain was tremendous. She was hospitalized, then nursing care, then yet another nursing home/rehab situation. It must have been very hard to look at everything she was facing and not turn away. I know she was relying upon the Lord in this grueling recovery situation. The pain still has not gone, but she is coping. I did not learn about her situation until recently. I would have liked to pray for her especially during the worst of it. I know she prayed for me during the worst part of my life years ago. After that fall, the image of a soft landing place could be comforting.
This diagram was used in several other places, so I used it, too.
A neighbor recently had a bout of falling. Her son thought it was from her back pain and perhaps too many meds. She was taken by life squad to the hospital. In reality it was Addison’s disease with severe dehydration. She was in intensive care for several days. We lifted her in prayer plus her son and husband. She is hom02e now and doing well. I wonder if she knows that gratitude soft landing place?
Is the image a heart or a praying mantis face?
As I draw closer to the Holy One, unhealed things rise to the surface. Lately I have been sorting through some feelings and stumbling blocks that tend to trip me up. I have suffered emotional scarring from several situations with women over my 70+ years. Part of me says, “get over it,” and part of me says “the wounds are still there.” This wounding keeps me from engaging with other women freely. There is always a huge part of me held in reserve. Most of it began in my childhood from my family of origin. Hard to believe those wounds are present so any years later! The LORD knows all my scars and has recently helped me heal another layer. He could not help me if I turned away and refused to face the wounds.
All of this has led me to a place of deeper gratitude. Nothing in our life can be taken for granted. Also, everything can eventually become a source of praise.
“We don’t have to pretend we are fine when we are not. We don’t need to push through and be strong.” I had to ask the LORD for help.
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24 NIV
Help me turn every discomfort to You. Show me the cause and help me give it to You for healing. Whether I am in pain emotionally, physically, or spiritually You know and are able to give me wisdom in each situation. If I must return to a topic 1,000 times I realize You never tire of healing and helping, guiding and growing me into the image of Jesus. I also know You are no respecter of persons; You desire to heal every person. Help us each to yield to You. Amen.
While writing the post about White tailed deer I came across this post and enjoyed reading parts of it. There is some fantastic art work full of imagination, none of which I chose to post. So with full credit to Randy Alcorn I bring you portions and the link.
Throughout Scripture we read that animals praise God. I don’t know exactly how animals praise God, but our inability to understand it shouldn’t keep us from believing it.
Consider the psalms. Psalm 148 commands all of creation to praise the Lord, including the animals: “Wild animals and all cattle, small creatures and flying birds, kings of the earth and all nations, you princes and all rulers on earth, young men and maidens, old men and children. Let them praise the name of the Lord, for his name alone is exalted; his splendor is above the earth and the heavens” (vv. 10-13). If in some sense fallen animals, shadows of what they once were, can praise God on this fallen Earth, how much more should we expect them to do so on the New Earth? “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord” (Psalm 150:6). Since animals are said to have breath, they are included among those directed to praise God.
Passages in Revelation also indicate that the animals will praise their creator: “Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: ‘To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!'” (Revelation 5:13). What are these “creatures” said to do? To sing praises to God in worship. If “every creature in heaven and on earth” includes animals, then animals praise God.
I sometimes read “every creature” to mean human, but no, it means every creature, Molly! in heaven, on earth, under the earth and on the sea and all that is in them.”
The most striking example of animals praising God in Heaven is often overlooked because of word selection in our Bible translations. We’re told eight times in Revelation of “living creatures” in the intermediate Heaven: “Day and night they never stop saying: ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.’… The living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne” (Revelation 4:8-9).
The word translated “living creatures” is zoon. Throughout most of the New Testament the word is translated “animal” and is used to indicate animals sacrificed in the temple and wild, irrational animals (Hebrews 13:11; 2 Peter 2:12; Jude 1:10). In the Old Testament, the Septuagint used zoon to translate the Hebrew words for animals, including the “living creatures” of the sea (Genesis 1:21; Ezekiel 47:9). In extra-biblical writings, zoon commonly referred to ordinary animals and was used of the Egyptians’ divine animals and the mythological bird called the Phoenix (1 Clement 25:2-3 1 Clement 25:2-3 ). In virtually every case inside and outside of Scripture, this word means not a person, not an angel, but an animal. The King James version translates zoon “beasts” in Revelation, but the negative connotations of that word led subsequent translators to settle on “living creatures.” The most natural translation would be simply “animals.” That word would likely have been chosen by translators if it didn’t sound so strange for readers to envision talking animals praising God around his throne!
I love it! I just love this sort of Bible study where I learn something I never knew before. I was taught and believed that the ‘living creatures’ around the throne ‘look like a lion, ox, a man, and an eagle’ but Alcorn purports that they are more than just what they look like. They are animals. Now that gives us something to ponder!
“Talking animals praising God around his throne!” Sweet. In the Episcopal church years ago we had a casual Sunday evening service and we were so few in number that we would circle the altar table for communion. The information from Alcorn’s teaching and that Sunday evening experience let me envision praising God with talking animals in an intimate circle of communion.
Yes, the creatures described by Ezekiel come to mind, but as one commentary notes, “The description in the vision cannot be taken too literally, for the prophet constantly reminds his readers that the images used to describe the vision only approximate what he actually saw. The visionary combination of vague, evocative images with concrete but fantastic objects helps the prophet to describe the divine reality that he saw but that cannot ultimately be described.” Harper’s Study Bible
I praise God saying whatever the Zoon are, bring them on LORD. Come quickly I pray! Let’s get Your victory party started!!
Somehow we have failed to grasp that the “living creatures” who cry out “Holy, holy, holy,” are animals—living, breathing, intelligent and articulate animals who dwell in God’s presence, worshiping and praising him. They are greater than the animals we know, and they preexisted the animals we know. Perhaps they’re the prototype creatures of Heaven after whom God designed Earth’s animals. But even though they’re highly intelligent and expressive, they’re still animals; that’s what Scripture calls them.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 