When it’s over, I want to say all my life I was a bride married to amazement.
-Mary Oliver
Have you read Mary Oliver’s writing? I love that image of “I was a bride married to amazement.” The LORD God Almighty has filled our world with truly amazing creations. I cannot fathom how a person can walk around with open eyes and not see the creation with amazement.
Almost 53 years ago I was a bride.
I was amazed at the wonder of my betrothed, Robert M Dutina. I was amazed at the goodness of God in creation, thus married in the park. I knew no building could contain the God I worship. I have continued to be amazed at all my life has been filled with. Both happy and sad.
Always, though, always I have been married to amazement.
Amazed at not only the nasturtiums above, but the next one, too!
One flower filled with sunshine and a glorious land snail in my very own side garden. The first year we were married we had a two track driveway outside our dining window. Someone had planted nasturtiums down the center. They have been dear to my heart ever since!
And just now! One pileated woodpecker flying over my front yard singing as it goes. Yes, married to amazement.
When Amazement asked if I would be married to it, I gave a resounding Yes!!
When it was first published it was quite controversial. Many have found solace and understanding of the Trinity from this book and the subsequent movie.
“So what do I do now?” asked Mack. Jesus replied “What you’re already doing, Mack, learn to live loved. It’s not an easy concept for humans. You have a hard time sharing anything.” He chuckled and continued, “So yes, what we desire is for you to ‘re-turn’ to us, and then we come and make our home inside you, and then we share. The friendship is real, not merely imagined. We’re meant to experience this life, your life, together, in a dialogue, sharing the journey. You get to share in our wisdom and learn to love with our love, and we get …. to hear you grumble and gripe and complain, and …”
The Shack Page 174-175 by Paul Young
The subtitle on the book reads “You are never as alone as you think.”
If you have not read it check your local library. Or try to get the DVD or movie through Hoopla at the library. It will certainly have you thinking about your relationship with the Trinity and their work in your life. Well worth your time and in my opinion, something to give you a good long think!
The most difficult thing about the Christian concept of the Trinity is that there is no way to perfectly and completely understand it. The Trinity is a concept that is impossible for any human being to fully understand, let alone explain. God is infinitely greater than we are; therefore, we should not expect to be able to fully understand Him. The Bible teaches that the Father is God, that Jesus is God, and that the Holy Spirit is God. The Bible also teaches that there is only one God. Though we can understand some facts about the relationship of the different Persons of the Trinity to one another, ultimately, it is incomprehensible to the human mind. However, this does not mean the Trinity is not true or that it is not based on the teachings of the Bible.
The Shack is just one interpretation of the Trinity. No one person knows for certain how to teach and understand the complex nature of what we worship.
LORD, help our lack of understanding. Lead us deeper to Your heart. Help us learn to live as loved. Amen.
Multiple times I have run across this idea that God is not a noun. God is a verb. Of course, I did not note the places where I first began to hear this. Trying to resource it on-line led to several authors. These are by no means exhaustive!
Perhaps the most commented upon is a book by Rabbi David A. Cooper entitled “God is a Verb.” He bases his book upon studies of the Kabbalah, a branch of mystical Judaism. He writes about God as a verb and our ‘co-partnering in God-ing.’
And as Jason Derr at Huffington Post writes,
God is not a force who acts on the world through coercion, violence or the suspension of physics and free will. God is a verb, an action we bring to the world to make love, justice, mercy, joy and goodness known.
Jason Derr, contributor at Huffington Post
This quote challenges the conventional understanding of God as a fixed entity or concept, suggesting that God should be perceived as an active and dynamic force or presence in the world.
When I was re-reading my notes from The Shack I was only mildly surprised to find this one from Page 204!
My very essence is a verb. I am more attuned to verbs than nouns. Verbs such as confessing, repenting, living, loving, responding, growing, reaping, changing, sowing, running, dancing, singing, and on and on. Humans, on the other hand, have a knack for taking a verb that is alive and full of grace and turning it into a dead noun or principle that reeks of rules: something growing and alive dies. Nouns exist because there is a created universe and physical reality, but if the universe is only a mass of nouns, it is dead. Unless ‘I am,’ there are no verbs, and verbs are what makes the universe alive.”
The Shack by William P. Young
Certainly this gives us each food for thought. I will likely never be able to not personalize my relationship with God. Call it anthropomorphism if you want. Just how I was raised and at 72 years old likely too late to undo the thinking. But all of this does make me think hard about the idea. How about you?
There was a statement not long ago saying, “Your God is too small.” Yes! What if our concept of God is not BIG enough? A creation that continues to expand, unfold? I am not certain about any of the arguments for or against this. I do know that the LORD shows me things I never knew before. I want to interact with the participating presence of the Holy One in whatever way I am asked to interact. Will you yield to that?
On my way to prayer time one morning I heard this song in my heart.
The song makes it sound easy. Check your shame at the door. Lay your burdens down. The true story is we must be willing to let go of those things.
In 1678 John Bunyan published “The Pilgrim’s Progress.” The main character, Christian, carried a burden in the story. This is an allegory of Christian life, “a symbolic vision of the good man’s pilgrimage through life.” There are characters and monsters, difficulties and challenges. Christian carries a heavy burden on his back. All these things occur on his way to the Celestial City.
Christian RAN, but not without great difficulty, because of the heavy load on his back. He ran on thus until he came to a place where there was a hill, and upon that hill stood a Cross; and a little below, at the bottom was a sepulcher.
Modern English edition of Pilgrim’s Progress
Sepulcher means a burial vault, tomb or grave.
“So I saw in my dream that just as Christian came up to the Cross, his burden fell off his shoulders and back, and began to tumble, until it came to the mouth of the sepulcher, where it fell in, and I saw it no more!”
Modern English edition of Pilgrim’s Progress
My question is why do we have to be urged to lay our burdens down? It seems too often we enjoy punishing ourselves for faults and failures. As if we could be the ultimate judge of our own character! Perhaps our burdens “for” others is truly just our desire to control and direct their paths as if we think ourselves omniscient?
Bunyan encourages us to give our burdens over to the cross and the empty tomb. Let your burden roll away and be seen no more. Let the Christ of the Cross take care of you and your burdens. He is more than able.
If we released all that burden-carrying energy into simple love and adoration of Christ our relationship with God would truly change.
Until we reach the Celestial City we are kept by our Father. The indwelling Spirit can check our behavior with a conviction that is beyond any church doctrine or moral code. The Holy One can lead and guide us, protect and correct us if we are willing to come under the authority given from heaven.
Perhaps this is a challenge that can lead you into a new phase of your spiritual life? Here is the song Christian sang at the end of this chapter.
"Thus far did I come laden with my sin;
Nor could anything ease the grief that I was in.
Until I came here, What a place is this!
This must be the beginning of my bliss!
"For here, the burden fell from off my back,
And here, the chains that bound it to me, did crack!
Blessed cross! Blessed sepulcher! Blessed rather be,
The Man who there, was put to shame for me!"
When I was in formation as a Third Order Franciscan I was introduced to the discipline called Self Examination. It was difficult for me to learn as my family of origin thrived on criticism and negativity. Learning to look at myself kindly was hard as that inner critic, so firmly planted as a child, had a nasty condemning voice.
Saint Ignatius put an emphasis on “self examen” and taught a simple way to approach it with little or no condemnation. Recently I have been reading the series by Sharon Garlough Brown entitled “Sensible Shoes.”
Using her ideas from Page 178 and what I have learned over the years about self examination I have begun to do this practice with some regularity. The Franciscan formation notes teach about using self examination as we look at self-denial. Not eating chocolate is not what is meant by self-denial. It is more “a way for us to get out of God’s way, to put aside our own limited concept of ‘self’ in order to embrace a more complete self-hood in Christ. This is the discipline of saying ‘no’ to oneself by putting God first.”
I can imagine some of you are asking, “Say what?!?!”
I will just post the outline I have been using and pray that answers most of your questions. You will understand the process best if you actually use it for yourself for a few days, weeks, or months.
These are some questions you can adapt and use in examen:
When were you aware of God’s presence today? When did you sense God’s absence?
When did you respond to God with love, faith, and obedience? When did you resist or avoid God?
When did you feel most alive and energized? When did you feel drained, troubled or agitated?
Examen 1. Place yourself in God’s presence. Give thanks for God’s great love for you.
2. Pray for the grace to understand how God is acting in your life.
3. Review your day — recall specific moments and your feelings at the time.
4. Reflect on what you did, said, or thought in those instances. Were you drawing closer to God, or further away?
5. Look toward tomorrow — think of how you might collaborate more effectively with God’s plan. Be specific.
When did I resist You?
Do you see how the inner critic is mostly silenced through this method? I must confess I have great difficulty doing this in the evening. I have never been good at evening prayer, etc. mostly due to the medications I take that make me very drowsy come evening. So I do this in the morning hours.
As you begin the practice it is a helpful way to try to keep in touch with the LORD throughout the day. Brother Lawrence instructed that we talk to God all day long. St. Francis lived that method of worship. We make notes all day, mentally, on our phones or on paper, about things we need to do. Why not makes notes about God, too?
As stated, this is a discipline. It does not seem inviting at first, but as the Word says,
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12:11 ESV
Just to let you know, I had not done my self examen this morning. I stopped just now and did it for myself. It does not matter if you use all the suggestions above or just some of them. The point is to look at yourself and examine your behaviors and attitudes in comparison to the Lord and what He is leading you towards.
This week for me holds appointment to get new orthotics and shoes. I do not meet the medicare criteria even though diabetic. Thus, the appointment will be self-pay.
Another appointment for physical therapy. Only opening was during my writing time Tuesday. Good thing I worked ahead!
Another appointment for check up with internist. Are you getting the picture?
We have a dinner to celebrate someone turning 82.
There is an ice cream social with another small group. Figure 20 some folks.
I have been taking Imodium AGAIN this morning. Fear to eat and headache that comes with that running to the bathroom. So back to Tylenol.
So far, Monday has brought a lousy week here.
But, who me? Complain?!? Yep, that’s me.
When my son was very young I was cleaning the bathroom one day and thanked God that I could kneel before HIS throne and not just the one in the bathroom. This week I likely have the cleanest ceramic throne on the entire street!
Grateful we have good medical care and can afford (so far) the things we need to pay for out of pocket. Wish doctors were not ‘practicing” on us and actually had some answers for some of this stuff.
Grumble, grumble old lady.
I am not as hearty as I think I am.
So how did it all work out? A week after I wrote the top part here is my report . New orthotics and shoes are on order. Physical therapy was not as painful as feared. I have done the exercises every day, so far. (Trying to be good for strength and healing.) At dinner for 82 year old I ate some food though not a good appetite. Regretted it the next day.
Saw the internist. He ordered oodles of tests. All the results came back normal. WHAT?!?! So what is the cause of all these bathroom runs? Might never know. He sent Rx for stronger than Imodium drug. Before I took even one dose it all stopped occurring. Thank You Lord.
Maybe eating a sampler (or flight) of ice cream flavors healed me? If only that were true!
So 2-1/2 weeks of the green apple quick trots and I am fine now. Truly. My friend with sciatic pain is still suffering. Bob’s lungs are enjoying clear air this morning after lightning storm moved through last night. They say we are to have rain storms today. Part of me is hoping so.
Pain since Thanksgiving in shoulder is not gone, but no longer consuming all of my attention. Lifting things carefully and trying to use it more than last number of months.
Tonight is Bob’s last meeting as an HOA board member. Tomorrow he works at the election. A draining week for him for certain.
John Eldredge reminds us in Resilient that these are this we are going through. Going through – not necessarily setting up housekeeping here. I am glad to know this in not my final home. I love that Scripture calls me an alien, a sojourner.
Dear friends, since you are immigrants and strangers in the world, I urge that you avoid worldly desires that wage war against your lives. 12 Live honorably among the unbelievers. Today, they defame you, as if you were doing evil. But in the day when God visits to judge they will glorify him, because they have observed your honorable deeds.
1 Peter 2: 11-13 CEB
Immigrants and strangers, just wish the locals would not share their green apple quick trots and other ailments with us! Okay, so it is a little out of context, but you get the idea I hope!
I heard this quote many years ago at a retreat. I was so inspired I actually collected feathers and made some note cards with the quote.
What does it mean? The breath of God is a powerful thing. Can you be as moveable as a loose feather? Can you be willing to go where He asks you to go?
This quote is from a blog, written by Jean Wise, (interesting name!) She was so succinct that I cannot improve on her writing!
God calls each of us to be His feather – responding to where He calls us. To be responsive to His nudges. To be open to His grace.
I want to live as a feather. Not burdened down with the heavy concerns of my heart, but focused, surrendered, dependent entirely on God for every moment. Ah, to be a feather. What a lovely image this is.
Yesterday was tremendously difficult. Bob and I were both struggling with frustrating chores and situations. Then I snapped at him and things got even worse. I had to really work to get my brain and soul into a better, calmer place. There was nothing earth shattering, except great difficulty mentally and spiritually. I apologized for my outburst. He forgave me and the day went on.
This morning on a podcast I heard an interviewee tell the moderator that with his broadcast he casts a ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark network of podcasts, social media, etc. I thought, “You know, that is that is what I try to do with this blog. A ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world.” Then I returned to my desk and lying open was the following paragraph written by John Eldredge in Resilient.
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, right and pure, lovely ad admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8). Think about something beautiful, something that reminds you of the goodness of God. A place you love. A sweet memory. Something in nature. Something that makes you smile.
Now stay with that today.
Resilient by Eldredge Page 172
Even when things are terrible, we have the ability to move our minds to other places. We can cry out to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to help us. Nothing is easy when the warfare is raging against us. There are times I think for the Christian in this day and age nothing is easy period.
The chorus from the following song was rolling around in me this morning. I pray that if you come upon a warfare struggle like what I faced yesterday you can move towards Jesus and not away.
Lord I give you my heart
I give you my soul, I live for you alone
Every breath that I take
Every moment I'm awake
Lord have your way in me
Have your way
Recorded by Hillsong music, written by Reuben Timothy Morgan, 2002
Recently I came across something that said I need a mind that is peaceful, still, serene and quiet. That led me to the idea that all those things are promised in Scripture. I would imagine you could use a mind like that also? Here are some passages and images that might help you get to that state of mind.
You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3 NIV
Another version reads “Whose mind is staid on you.” Staid as in fixed. Read that again and just sit with it a moment. Those of us who are familiar with the Bible tend to run right past the verses we think we know. Can you live this verse?
The mind that is still.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
Psalm 46:10a
It is easy to read or say “be still” but can you do it? Still yourself. Quiet yourself. Even sit still for an extended period of time? Dan Harris, former ABC news anchor, now heads up 10% Happier, an app based on his best selling book. He says even one or two minutes of stillness can make a huge difference. Take a pause right now to try that.
The mind that is serene. That brought me to two different passages. If you read Psalm 23 you begin to realize how serene life with the Shepherd can be. Though there may be dangers and enemies, He is able to keep His sheep. Philippians 4 with emphasis upon verse 8 came out on top though! It gives us very clear instruction about our mind and what to do with it!
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:4-8 NIV
We CAN take captive our thoughts to Christ Jesus. No, it is not simple, but oh so very worthwhile! Think about such things!
And finally we are urged to have a mind that is quiet. It is exhausting to have a busy, busy mind. Here is help for that situation. But you must DO it.
But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.
When was the last time someone told you to “Go outside and play”? So often we take topics like faith so seriously that I think God is telling us to go outside and play with Him. Perhaps this is something you need? Even if your access to the outdoors is restricted by health, you can still have a playtime.
Ponder for a few moments the Scripture John 3:8. Here is the NIV version
Jesus said, “The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
Reading Sensible Shoes and Two Steps Forward by Sharon G. Brown, I found great images about play and flowers. I will retell it in my own words as I do have permission to copy large portions of the books.
Hannah (a busy Christian servant) saw herself as a child running in and out of the throne room bringing flowers to Jesus. Then later she saw herself running in and out of the throne room taking flowers from around Jesus to others. Both times He stopped her, scooped her up and wanted to just spend time with her. He also told her in the second scene that the flowers were for HER! Later in Two Steps Forward she saw a pinwheel and realized it looked like the flowers she had seen earlier.
I have a large pinwheel and several small ones in our yard. A pinwheel can sit still all day or spin frantically in a heavy breeze. It helps me ‘see’ the wind and reminds me of the Spirit of God.
In Two Steps Forward Brown wrote
“There’s nothing useful and productive about pinwheels. They serve no practical purpose. They just wait for the wind without striving. An image of receptivity. And fun. Whimsical delight and wasting time. What a growing edge for me! And to have a pinwheel combined with the image of a flower is perfect. Thank you, Lord. The flowers are for me. The Lover’s gift to the beloved.”
Hannah in Two Steps Forward by Brown
In my Transfiguration Associates fellowship group I shared these ideas and passed out pinwheels for each person. I wish I could hand one to each reader right now! I bought ours at The Dollar Store which is now $1.25! I encouraged each person to go play, (but not to put them out the window as they were driving home.) You see, that is one of my first pinwheel memories, a summer day in the car having the X-mph wind blow my pinwheel.
Can you relax with God and rest in His love enough to just have fun? He has so many aspects to His personality that you will never know all of them. How about learning more about this one? Remember that when you have a fun time with an earthly friend you have a deeper bond. Just imagine how having fun with God will deepen that relationship! Go play!
God is the fountain of life. The only fountain of life. His glorious life is meant to flow through us every day – healing us, filling us with creativity, courage, joy, playfulness, and resilience. It comes through attachment, bonded love, the soul’s union with God.
John Eldredge “Resilient”
The wind is His, but He lets us see it and use it. The wind is one symbol of the Holy Spirit! Go play! The pinwheel brought all sorts of things to mind such as the song “Breathe on Me Breath Of God.” Sit with God and the wind, play and discover where He will lead you. Just don’t put your pinwheel out the car window while driving!!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 