Huge wildfires fanned by winds from the storm named Dora are burning on almost every island of Hawaii. Remember I wrote about the Banyan tree? That is in the town of Lahaina. Most of the town has burned to the ground. State of the Banyan is unknown. We enjoyed dinner there twice. This is so very sad. People actually jumped into the ocean for safety.
Author: Molly Lin Dutina
52+ YEARS as wife to Robert! Still deeply loving that man!! He is often responsible for the photos I post. I try to always give him credit!
Yikes
This week for me holds appointment to get new orthotics and shoes. I do not meet the medicare criteria even though diabetic. Thus, the appointment will be self-pay.
Another appointment for physical therapy. Only opening was during my writing time Tuesday. Good thing I worked ahead!
Another appointment for check up with internist. Are you getting the picture?
We have a dinner to celebrate someone turning 82.
There is an ice cream social with another small group. Figure 20 some folks.
I have been taking Imodium AGAIN this morning. Fear to eat and headache that comes with that running to the bathroom. So back to Tylenol.
So far, Monday has brought a lousy week here.
But, who me? Complain?!? Yep, that’s me.
When my son was very young I was cleaning the bathroom one day and thanked God that I could kneel before HIS throne and not just the one in the bathroom. This week I likely have the cleanest ceramic throne on the entire street!
Grateful we have good medical care and can afford (so far) the things we need to pay for out of pocket. Wish doctors were not ‘practicing” on us and actually had some answers for some of this stuff.
Grumble, grumble old lady.
I am not as hearty as I think I am.
So how did it all work out? A week after I wrote the top part here is my report . New orthotics and shoes are on order. Physical therapy was not as painful as feared. I have done the exercises every day, so far. (Trying to be good for strength and healing.) At dinner for 82 year old I ate some food though not a good appetite. Regretted it the next day.
Saw the internist. He ordered oodles of tests. All the results came back normal. WHAT?!?! So what is the cause of all these bathroom runs? Might never know. He sent Rx for stronger than Imodium drug. Before I took even one dose it all stopped occurring. Thank You Lord.
Maybe eating a sampler (or flight) of ice cream flavors healed me? If only that were true!
So 2-1/2 weeks of the green apple quick trots and I am fine now. Truly. My friend with sciatic pain is still suffering. Bob’s lungs are enjoying clear air this morning after lightning storm moved through last night. They say we are to have rain storms today. Part of me is hoping so.
Pain since Thanksgiving in shoulder is not gone, but no longer consuming all of my attention. Lifting things carefully and trying to use it more than last number of months.
Tonight is Bob’s last meeting as an HOA board member. Tomorrow he works at the election. A draining week for him for certain.
John Eldredge reminds us in Resilient that these are this we are going through. Going through – not necessarily setting up housekeeping here. I am glad to know this in not my final home. I love that Scripture calls me an alien, a sojourner.
Dear friends, since you are immigrants and strangers in the world, I urge that you avoid worldly desires that wage war against your lives. 12 Live honorably among the unbelievers. Today, they defame you, as if you were doing evil. But in the day when God visits to judge they will glorify him, because they have observed your honorable deeds.
1 Peter 2: 11-13 CEB
Immigrants and strangers, just wish the locals would not share their green apple quick trots and other ailments with us! Okay, so it is a little out of context, but you get the idea I hope!
Like Breath of God
Thus am I, a feather on the breath of God.
Hildegard of Bingen
I heard this quote many years ago at a retreat. I was so inspired I actually collected feathers and made some note cards with the quote.
What does it mean? The breath of God is a powerful thing. Can you be as moveable as a loose feather? Can you be willing to go where He asks you to go?
This quote is from a blog, written by Jean Wise, (interesting name!) She was so succinct that I cannot improve on her writing!
God calls each of us to be His feather – responding to where He calls us. To be responsive to His nudges. To be open to His grace.
I want to live as a feather. Not burdened down with the heavy concerns of my heart, but focused, surrendered, dependent entirely on God for every moment. Ah, to be a feather. What a lovely image this is.
https://healthyspirituality.org/a-feather-on-the-breath-of-god-hildegard/
I pray a gentle breath from God is all it takes to move me. I hope I can be a feather under His direction, doing His bidding.
Aging with Minimal Complaining?
Gee, did I just write that title? Sitting here at my desk watching a black cloud settling in to pour it’s rain over a nearby neighborhood, I have been pondering all the physical changes Bob and I have been going through. Sort of like having that black cloud park over our home. I was hit by a triple whammy recently.
Had a steroid injection in my right shoulder on a Monday afternoon. Just imagine the most tender spot in your body, put a needle in it. Inject steroids and see what happens. As a Type 2 diabetic those steroids (and every other situation) make my glucose react. This time to jump sky-high. Yes, next morning my glucose value was 210! I average around 79-110. Pounding headache arrived that Tylenol could not touch. Night #1 slept in recliner as no comfort to be found in the bed. Did not even try to go to sleep in the bed on Night #2. Meantime, I must have eaten something funky. In protest my bowels decided they must be emptied of all substances.
Before those things began my ear decided it was living underwater – or some such, with fluid that would not move out. Eventually, the steroid stopped making my glucose skyrocket. The BRAT diet of banana, rice, applesauce, and toast became just rice. Then a rice cake. After days of trying to hear my ear is still funky after plain Guaifenesin and Pseudoephedrine to try to dry it up. One ear felt left out so it too started to slosh. Shoulder is still touchy. Did not expect injection to heal the partial tear, just give some pain relief. Doc is still talking surgery. Need to sign up for PT. Again.
Meanwhile, Bob has had lung difficulties, pain that wakes him in the night, discomfort that makes it hard to sleep. You know, aging is NOT for sissies! Who knew the decline that comes with aging is not just losing your strength.Nothing here is unusual to humans. If we are blessed with a long life we will have illness, decline and perhaps suffering.
One neighbor fell at the community mailbox and bruised both eyes, chin, face and is fortunate not to have broken anything. Later turned out she did break her elbow. Another neighbor fell in his bathroom and needs shoulder surgery. The doc says he cannot repair both places, only one place in his shoulder. Another friend fell and broke her pelvis. Has been suffering all kinds of severe pain. Another friend flew home from Kentucky only to get home with fever, sore throat and likely Covid. Is it that new strain?
As we lose strength, dexterity and even our health can we fix our eyes on Jesus during these trials? Will we do our best to remember these are things we are going through? It seems when I experience these sorts of set-backs I never quite recover the strength I had prior to the event. Just a little slower, a little weaker, a little less young when things stabilize again.
Perhaps the most important lesson to hold on to is ‘these are things we going THROUGH, not camping here, just having to endure.’ Even chronic pain will not go on forever. When we die and go to Jesus we are promised a new body. Thank goodness for that! Cling to Jesus now. Like the tendril on this morning glory vine sculpture, we wrap our hearts and minds about Him the best we can. He holds us. We hold to Him.
Again and again I am brought back to my own prayer,
I have determined that this day,
each time I am drawn up short by pain,
I will praise You
for I love You better than life –
even better than quality of life.
Molly Lin Dutina
I am always amazed that if I pray this with focus and sincerity, (usually from a 4 x 6 card), my attention is drawn to Jesus and away from all the what-ifs and if-onlys. We cannot control our circumstances, but we can control our hearts, our mind-set. Using the pain to draw myself back to Christ is a powerful panacea.
May you lean hard upon the One who loves you best and knows you even in the sleepless nights. Blessings, Molly D.
Even to your old age and gray hairs
Isaiah 46:4 NIV
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
Loneliness
The vile mud pot that bubbles through my life. Wants to contaminate everything. Makes me irritable. Unable to see the best in others.
There was a poem I found that helped a bit. I first read this while on retreat recently. I believe Joan Chittister had it in one of her devotional books.
Home of My Loneliness by Karl Rahner In the curve of my heart lies a hollow place where grudging loneliness asks a welcome. In that empty chamber of solitairiness You rest Your consistent, welcoming love on the heartsick and patterned discontent of my gloomy days and shredded dreams. You care for my loneliness with affection during the times when no one and no thing soothes the deep yearning sitting listlessly inside the arid place of my discontented self. The Home of Loneliness welcomes me.
As I found solace in this poem I also remembered a piece of coral we found in Hawaii.
“You rest, Your consistent, welcoming love,” “You care for my loneliness with affection”. The Holy One knows my hollow place. I am held in that consistent, welcoming love. My loneliness, which at times I detest and want to deny is cared for by the Trinity. Even that place. Even those feelings.
Chronic illness has taught me so much about loneliness. Only those who have suffered can truly understand the plight of the chronically sick. The ambivalence of taking medication that may or may not help. The side effects that can send you into a ‘tizzy.” The wisdom of prayer and listening to your own body when making decisions about self-care. The Word says to ask God and He will give you wisdom. James 1:5-6 NIV
My parents dying when I was young (aged eleven when Dad died, aged 24 when Mom died) has taught we so much about loneliness. When your family of origin is gone when you are just forming your own family, the word difficult does not describe the impact upon your life.
Next time you sense that “deep yearning sitting listlessly inside the arid place of (your) discontented self” I urge you to turn that place and those feelings to the Holy One. The internet says there one hundred verses about God holding us in or with His hand.
Yet I am always with you;
Psalm 73:23 NIV
you hold me by my right hand.
Once during a retreat I spent several hours walking the retreat grounds and envisioning the Lord holding my right hand. Though that was many years ago, to this day I remember how poignant that experience was. You might want to try that for yourself. The Holy Trinity is always with us and walks close, even when we are unaware.
Her Choice
Recently we were watching a PBS series entitled Southern Storytellers. Online synopsis reads, “Southern creators of literature, music and film explore deep ties with the South: Billy Bob Thornton reflects on a life of writing songs and screenplays; Adia Victoria celebrates music and marriage near Nashville; David Joy laments the loss of the Appalachian culture he loves; Jericho Brown reveals the South to be essential to his creativity; and Mary Steenburgen remembers her Arkansas childhood.”
We thoroughly enjoyed each person’s story. I especially liked Mary Steenburgen’s song that she wrote for her husband, Ted Danson. I share it here with you and ask that you remember Bob Dutina, my husband of 52 years and 9 months, so far! He is a fabulous husband indeed!
embed https://youtu.be/xxj2oofQffo
In 1970 we met in July, got engaged in August and married in September. Still loving each other!
Move Your Mind
Yesterday was tremendously difficult. Bob and I were both struggling with frustrating chores and situations. Then I snapped at him and things got even worse. I had to really work to get my brain and soul into a better, calmer place. There was nothing earth shattering, except great difficulty mentally and spiritually. I apologized for my outburst. He forgave me and the day went on.
This morning on a podcast I heard an interviewee tell the moderator that with his broadcast he casts a ray of sunshine on an otherwise dark network of podcasts, social media, etc. I thought, “You know, that is that is what I try to do with this blog. A ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world.” Then I returned to my desk and lying open was the following paragraph written by John Eldredge in Resilient.
Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, right and pure, lovely ad admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8). Think about something beautiful, something that reminds you of the goodness of God. A place you love. A sweet memory. Something in nature. Something that makes you smile.
Now stay with that today.
Resilient by Eldredge Page 172
Even when things are terrible, we have the ability to move our minds to other places. We can cry out to Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit to help us. Nothing is easy when the warfare is raging against us. There are times I think for the Christian in this day and age nothing is easy period.
The chorus from the following song was rolling around in me this morning. I pray that if you come upon a warfare struggle like what I faced yesterday you can move towards Jesus and not away.
Lord I give you my heart I give you my soul, I live for you alone Every breath that I take Every moment I'm awake Lord have your way in me Have your way Recorded by Hillsong music, written by Reuben Timothy Morgan, 2002
Rest Here A Moment
“May I rest here a moment”, asked the tree?
“Certainly”, replied the rock.
The tree placed it’s hand-root upon the rock. Fifty years later it was still there.
Have you given yourself a time to rest in the LORD?
He is the rock of our salvation.
Psalm 62:6
He said to them, “Come with me privately to an isolated place and rest a while.”
Mark 6:31a NIV
Jesus our rock tells us to rest. Enter His rest. Be restored. Are we doing those things? They are all to our benefit.
Rocky Fork Lake
As a child I visited this lake with my mom’s sister and her husband, two kids. Uncle Whitey had a boat and would take us out to try to ski. My sister was able to do it. I was never strong enough to pull myself up. I never remember seeing lily pads there as a child, but I suppose Uncle Whitey never docked his boat in that particular area.
https://ohiodnr.gov/go-and-do/plan-a-visit/find-a-property/rocky-fork-state-park
The park is between our house (Amelia) and Wilmington. Bob and I first discovered the lily pads there last year. We were delighted. We marked the calendar to go back this year. The weather has been so hot that the lilies were not at their peak. We marked the calendar for earlier next year!
You might wonder about my fascination with Lily pads? I first discovered them as a flower to photograph at the Cincinnati Nature Center during a prayerful walk. That inspired a poem in 1990.
Perhaps I Could Ask You Just to Stand and Tip? ©1990 Molly Lin Dutina
Lily pads at the pond
Grow on stalky stems
Leaves unfold an opened palm
Cupped at center point
Summer shower starts to drop
Mercurial glistening spheres
Gathering in the center spot
‘til bulbous weight smears silver drops
Into glistening globs
And tips the leaves so full
To pour their contents overboard
And rising from the spill
Stately shielded lily-hands
Begin the cycle once more
Keep my stem flexible, Lord
My hands open and cupped
Eager to receive Your all
Questioning not Your skill
Only trusting the power of Your love
To melt my rigid will
Drench me Lord
In Your shower of love
Let me gather and drink my fill
Then spill over on those around
And rise to await Your will
Send water of Your Spirit
To tip me over, pour me out
Then wash over me once again
Fresh cleansing by Holy Words
Shine Your light through
This enshrouding mist
Color me with covenant this:
Abiding presence and constant love,
Indwelling grace that conquers sin
Transfigured rigid I
Yielded and bent
In Your service
Spilling forth rivers of living water
And giving rest to croaky voiced frogs
Who, when Spirit-kissed,
Become priests and kings
Singing their praises to You.
Perhaps You ask me just to be Your lily leaf
Stand and tip
Though it had rained earlier in the morning when we visited Rocky Fork, I found no pads with ‘mercurial glistening spheres.” That would have been tremendous!
So here I am 33 years later still trying to do the Lord’s bidding, gather the living water, stand and tip, yielded and bent in His service. May you be Spirit-kissed and become priests and royalty singing praises to God!
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
1 Peter 2:9 NIV
Museum Visit
Recently we went to a special exhibit at Cincinnati Art Museum. These were paintings by Pablo Picasso entitled Out of Bounds. The museum notes, “The year 2023 marks the 50th anniversary of the death of Pablo Picasso (1881–1973), perhaps the most innovative and influential artist of the 20th century. The Cincinnati Art Museum is celebrating his legacy with an unprecedented exhibition, the first to examine Picasso’s lifelong engagement with landscape. Picasso Landscapes: Out of Bounds brings to our galleries paintings and sculptures by the artist from some 25 public and private collections across the United States and Europe.”
I have never ever cared for his cubist styles. A few of the items in this exhibit showed he really could paint in styles I liked! Well, at least twice.
He could have been an impressionist!
Some of the items looked as if they were drawn by a child with crayons. I should have taken a photo for you!
Here is one of Bob’s favorites.
There are likely folks around the world who like his art along with many collectors. Give me an impressionist any day!
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 