Category: Spiritual growth

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Journal, Poetry, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Remember Rooted and Grounded in Love?

Reading the poetry of Mary Oliver I found this concise stunning description of those roots …

except underfoot, moldering
in that black subterranean castle

Of unobservable mysteries – roots and sealed seed

And the wanderings of water

Mary Oliver Fall Song from her American Primitive Collection
“Black subterranean castle” I just love that!

That is why she won a Pulitzer Prize for poetry. Makes me not want to post my stuff. But I know each of us has talents and must be willing to share those!

I was recently challenged by lines on a TV series of all things! “Newsflash! Life isn’t fair.” “Try to DO something about it.” “You can’t win the fight unless you get back in the ring.” “We are the change we have been waiting for.”

The next morning, looking to the Lord, I composed this:

Hollow © 2022 Molly Lin Dutina

Chronic illness and pain
    Is a lonely place
The hollow of a tree trunk
    Never saw the hollow before
Though I’ve looked at the tree for 9 or 10 months

He keeps me
    In the hollow of His hand
His palm
    Never alone - with me always

Each day may be a new struggle
    The reward is in the shelter
Let myself be sheltered
    Yield to being held

When I cry out “O Lord”
    Do I mean I can’t take it or
O Lord be with me in it?

Sheltered by the Almighty
     Nothing quite a secure as that
Stay. Yield. Rest.
Isaiah 49:16
Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Just do it, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Yeah. No.

Is it yes or no? Pet peeve here. What is it with people who nod their head no while they speak yes. Just as bad to nod head yes while speaking no. Am I to believe the words or the body language? And when some say, ”Yeah. No.” I want to holler “WHICH ONE IS IT?!?!”

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.

Berman Study Bible Matthew 5:37

Granted, I understand this passage is about swearing, but can we also apply it to our everyday communication, please? The following is a quite clear communication.

If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

Hillel the Elder, first-century Jewish Scholar

Often those of us who are unhappy with life wind up asking “Why me?” Hillel would like to speak with those folks!

Watching The Chosen TV series one night the question popped into my consciousness. And then I pondered, “Why the crippled? Why the prostitute? Why the lepers? Why the sinners?” Before they met Jesus I think most of them realized they were not going to get what they wanted from life.

I am a more than a little tarnished by age. I have had a pretty wonderful life. The chronic pain plagues me more now than in the early years after diagnosis. So yes, at times I wonder “Why me?“

Without the chronic pain I would not have had so many avenues opened for me to share my faith. And then I remember that without these troubles I could never have related to all those I have prayed for who suffer.

If my Aunt Mary had not had Alzheimer’s disease I would never have related to these who care for people with that dreadful illness. If my parents had not died young, suffice it to say I would not have known how to relate to so many grieving people who have crossed my path.

There would have been no path to lead that Fibromyalgia support group. There would have been no opportunity to share my faith in the midst of suffering through this blog.

Have you ever been greeted by a 6 year old boy who is eager to see you? He greets you joyously by running to you, grabbing your legs, almost knocking you down. Are you eager to greet God that way?

That child does not sulk and wonder why you did not give him what he wanted for his birthday last year. He is just glad to see you.

Can you begin to approach the Lord in the same way? Michael W. Smith and his wife Debbie wrote these lyrics in 1982 based on Psalm 145:3. Use them as your theme for a few days and see if your heart is not lighter!

Great is the Lord
He is holy and just
By His power we trust
In His love
Great is the Lord
He is faithful and true
By His mercy He proves
He is love

Great is the Lord
And worthy of glory
Great is the Lord
And worthy of praise
Great is the Lord
Now lift up your voice
Now lift up your voice
Great is the Lord
Great is the Lord

Run towards the Father!

Posted on in Faith, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

I Must Ask You to Listen to This

Here is a song that leads me directly into worship. I have to just stop and sing along or simply worship in silence when this comes on.

Stefanny Gretzinger sings and wrote this.

Regardless of how I am feeling or what I am thinking about life and the world, this song reminds me of what is truly important. Stop. Breathe. Worship. Turn my eyes upon Jesus.

Take a few minutes and listen again. Do not think of Molly. Think of you and the care He has given you.

That still point. We all need it more often than not.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Grief

One quote from a book, whose author and title I failed to note, reads, “There’s no use damming up sorrow,” he said. “The river of grief has its own course and its own pace. Tears are a gift from God. Sorrow can grieve over a loss and still be grateful for the time you had.”

I attended a funeral this week for a man who died at age 101. He was a man of wealth and a noted philanthropist. He caught Covid and could not fight it off.

I also spoke with a friend who has been diagnosed with a rare disease. There is no cure and her future is uncertain in regards to pain, suffering, side effects from strong medications, etc. We’re both reading “Celebrate Life: New Attitudes for Living with Chronic Illness.” We are on the chapters about grief as it arises with the diagnosis of chronic illness, and how to navigate through that grief.

The man who died had buried his wife after 66 years of marriage. My friend and I have both been married for 51 years. He knew grief. He also knew success.

My friend and I have both born and raised two children. All four are lively adults. We have known success. He and his wife bore four boys. All of them spoke at the funeral.

I wish he was here so I could ask him how he managed the rapids of aging and decline. He was a strong Christian. Was he able to lean upon the Lord during his dark times? I understand he exercised every single day until the last two weeks of his life. Had a personal trainer come to his house. I am far, far behind on that front!

Guess I best get up and get moving for a longer life and the best health I can obtain. Along with my friend I take many medications daily. Bob calls it “Better living through modern chemistry.” Indeed, I have outlived both of my parents.

Years ago Bob and I worked at The Children’s Home in Hamilton, Ohio. We were told to read Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s on entitled On Death and Dying. The children we worked with often went through these stages not only regarding their family of origin, but also the workers who came in and out of their lives. Kubler-Ross outlined five stages of grief. Some therapists have added a few more, but the basic five are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages do not necessarily occur in that order. You do not necessarily experience the stages only once. The stages also apply to chronic illness patients.

We all know that none of us will get out of here alive, unless the Lord returns before our life ends. We will leave behind people who admire and love us. We will be left behind by others who die. Have we even thought about how to navigate that? Nope, I think most people live in a high state of denial, not even thinking about it until there is no choice.

Research shows that damming up sorrow is very bad for one’s health both physically and mentally. For a person with chronic illness damming up the sorrow can make the symptoms worse! “The river of grief has its own course.” Have you ever considered that tears can be a cleansing part of the river of grief? When was the last time you just let go and had a good cry? It can work wonders for all parts of you.

The river has its own course.

We change, we age, we diminish in our capacity to do the things we used to do. Can you be grateful for the strengths you have had, even if you must let them go? Can you rejoice in the goodness of living, even this day which is so unlike your days were years ago?

Sorrow, grief, loss and gratitude can exist side by side. Don’t try to dam them up. Be grateful for the life you have had thus far and look forward to the life you are still living.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

On My Mirror …

… is a reminder on a post-it note that reads: Praise Splendor Marvelous Deeds Power Might Gratitude. Why? Because just like you, I am prone to forget the attributes of God.

Splendor and majesty are before him;
    strength and glory are in his sanctuary.

 Ascribe to the Lord, all you families of nations,
    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

Declare his glory among the nations,

his marvelous works among all peoples

Honor and majesty are before him;

strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

Portions of Psalm 96 NRSV

You might not know that 1 Chronicles 16, when David placed the ark, is related to this psalm. He is also quoted in Psalm 105:1-15 and Psalm 106:1, 47-48.

What does this have to do with being a Christian in 2022? We don’t have a tent, no longer use an ark. What’s up then? I believe it is imperative that we continue to come into God’s presence declaring his praises. We are never to forget that he is not only worthy of our praise, but that all splendor resides with him. His marvelous deeds are not to be compared with the deeds of mere men. His power and might formed the heavens and our toenails. We are to live lives of gratitude for his mercy and grace daily extended to us.

May you go through the week singing His praises!

Posted on in Faith, Journal, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Irish Music and a Psalm

One of my favorite Psalms is Psalm 84. I have read it, heard it set to music, and pondered it often. Here is the New Revised Version.

          How lovely is your dwelling place, 
    O LORD of hosts! 
    2      My soul longs, indeed it faints 
    for the courts of the LORD; 
    my heart and my flesh sing for joy 
    to the living God. 
    3      Even the sparrow finds a home, 
    and the swallow a nest for herself, 
    where she may lay her young, 
    at your altars, O LORD of hosts, 
    my King and my God. 
    4      Happy are those who live in your house, 
    ever singing your praise.       Selah 
    5      Happy are those whose strength is in you, 
    in whose heart are the highways to Zion.
    6      As they go through the valley of Baca 
    they make it a place of springs; 
    the early rain also covers it with pools. 
    7      They go from strength to strength; 
    the God of gods will be seen in Zion. 
    8      O LORD God of hosts, hear my prayer; 
    give ear, O God of Jacob!       Selah 
    9      Behold our shield, O God; 
    look on the face of your anointed. 
    10      For a day in your courts is better 
    than a thousand elsewhere. 
    I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God 
    than live in the tents of wickedness. 
    11      For the LORD God is a sun and shield; 
    he bestows favor and honor. 
    No good thing does the LORD withhold 
    from those who walk uprightly. 
    12      O LORD of hosts, 
    happy is everyone who trusts in you. 

In my studies I learned that when verse 6 says the Valley of Baca, that means the valley of tears or weeping. Isn't it just like our God to change a place of weeping into a place of springs! One of Bob's favorite songs was a Vineyard creation about "Better is one day in your house than thousands elsewhere."

When we visited Ireland in 2011 I had my own experience of a 'thin place.' A thin place is described as a place where the distance between heaven and earth is not as thick as in some regions of earth.

When we visited the Aran ruins on Inishmore, Aran island I was moved by a church ruin. After much research and naming it wrong in a prior blog posting, I believe this is called Teampall Bhreacain, Na Seacht dTeampaill, County Galway, Ireland. The  difficulty is the language and there are multiple small church ruins on Inishmore!

When we arrived I practically sat down in awe. I believe the following photos were all taken by my wonderful husband, r m dutina.

The altar from afar, look to upper right wall by altar

Remember verse 3 above? This is what I wanted you to see in last photo.

“Even the sparrow finds a place where she may lay her young”

And when I pondered how many had worshiped at this altar over the years, and there I was, too, worshiping my God I was awe struck and taken into His presence.

Yes, there was rubble on the floor and I am glad it was left for us to see. The roof was long gone, but God was still present.

How lovely is Thy dwelling place, O Lord of Hosts to me!

This song has transported my soul there ever since. I was delighted to find it on You Tube to share with you here!

Tomorrow a poem inspired by this thin place!

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Nature, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Asleep in the Boat

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

Matthew 8:23-27 NIV

I recently sent my friend, Kathy this icon from the Printery House, Conception Abbey. The title is “Storm on the Sea of Galilee” based on the verses in Matthew 8, Mark 4 and Luke 8. I have an 8 x 10 image of this icon on my office wall. Here is the link if you are interested in ordering one. 


https://www.printeryhouse.org/ProdPage.asp?prod=A04

The Episcopal diocese of West Missouri has a page about how to pray with an icon. “Icons bring us into prayer, or conversation with God, with our eyes wide open. An ancient practice, praying with icons involves taking into our heart what the image visually communicates. Rather than focusing on what is seen, we focus on what is seen through it – the love of God expressed through God’s creatures.” https://spirit.diowestmo.org/2022/01/a-way-to-pray-icons/

Shortly after I mailed it to Kathy, the Haven Today Winter Newsletter arrived in my mailbox. It contained an article by Dan Warne called “Rest as a Daily Rhythm of Dependence.”

The idea isn’t that we shouldn’t work hard, but that we should remember that it’s okay to rest, knowing that it’s a gift from God and he will keep the world turning until sunrise.

As someone pointed out, Jesus himself modeled this for us when he slept in the boat in the storm. The disciples were frantic and scared, but the God who made the sea was taking a moment to rest his tired, human body. He had power over the storm, and because of that when we walk with Jesus, sometimes the best way to imitate our Savior and express our reliance upon him is to rest knowing he is in control.

El Faro speaker Dan Warne

Here is a link to Dan’s ministry in Cuba https://www.elfaroderedencion.org/home

Even the winds and waves obey Him. Oh readers, take heed to this Master of the Universe, your Savior and King. Mind his instruction and directions for you. He is Lord and knows what you need. Rest in His love and power. He cares beyond your deepest understanding.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and TO KNOW this love that SURPASSES knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17b-19

This brings to mind that prayer/poem I had only heard snippets of until recently.

Thy sea, O God, so great,
My boat so small.
It cannot be that any happy fate
Will me befall
Save as Thy goodness opens paths for me
Through the consuming vastness of the sea.

Thy winds, O God, so strong,
So slight my sail.
How could I curb and bit them on the long
And saltry trail,
Unless Thy love were mightier than the wrath
Of all the tempests that beset my path?

Thy world, O God, so fierce,
And I so frail.
Yet, though its arrows threaten oft to pierce
My fragile mail,
Cities of refuge rise where dangers cease,
Sweet silences abound, and all is peace.

- Winfred Ernest Garrison

He is able to keep us, on land or on sea with love and power beyond our comprehension. Thank the Lord we can be recipients of that love and power on our behalf without having to understand and comprehend them! Help us, Father, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to KNOW this love.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Collection of Quotes, Faith, medical treatment, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Increasing Discomfort

Can you imagine the tree the above stump supported? The root system must have been mighty and wide spreading! When I remember myself as young woman I am amazed how strong and full of vitality I was. I tell young people I meet, “You have no idea how strong you are!”

It is difficult when living with chronic illness to discuss comfort and discomfort. My chronic pain disorder makes it rare that I can say I am comfortable. I have noticed lately that my discomfort is rising. Last few weeks, there is more pain than usual. Headaches harder to ignore. You know how they tell you not to take Tylenol long term? Yeah, well, I take it daily, usually 4 times a day. So until I can discuss this with my doc what to do?

Usually after I wallow a bit I turn to Scripture for help. This morning I was lead to listen to parts of Ephesians which our pastor quoted in his sermon on Sunday. Pastor did not read this, but here was the verse that rang out to me this morning.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 

Ephesians 6:10

Left to myself I cannot write this blog. Left to my own power I cannot walk out a life with chronic illness. Hand in hand with my Savior, I can do things through His mighty power. His power, not mine. Never for one moment do I think that my power sustains me. For a time in my life I SO disliked this verse in Corinthians.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

I did not think at that time I wanted the grace as much as I wanted my own strength. Young, foolish woman. I did not realize that my weakness would increase and increase as I aged. And my strength was not worthy to be compared with that grace which He promises would flourish in my weakness.

So here I am at the keyboard again to address some things that I have learned in living with Chronic illness. From my flood of ideas …

Fears can lose some power if you name them. So name them, even if it is difficult to use your hands right now. On the iPhone the notes app (looks like paper pad with yellow bar on top) the app has a microphone. You can dictate your list. The app will even create a numbered list. It takes courage to face these things, but you can do this! Better than wasting energy in dreading. Face this moment with courage. Then use your list as a

Much of my suffering has stemmed from realizing there is something I used to do and can no longer accomplish. Temporarily removed or permanently these things cause a very real form of grief. Grief needs to be felt and then let out. So I name it. Perhaps record all the things I loved about that activity. And then slowly take a step towards current reality. And look at the new circumstances squarely. What can I do even with limitations? How might that be tolerable? (Usually for me the first thing is to quit bitchin’ about distaste.) I had to learn that acceptance does not equal approval. Someone said,’Wishin’ comes easy. Change don’t.”

Acceptance ≠ Approval

What can I value about myself, right here and right now, regardless of current abilities? There is no shame allowed in illness. None of us sets out to be sick. No sane child says, “I want to be crippled with physical limitations when I grow up.” We do not plan for this and many of us kick against the change in fortune instead of learning how to accommodate our own needs. Be gentle with yourself.

We have all seen images of devastation on television be it from landslides, hurricanes, volcanoes, tsunamis or storms of wind, ice, snow, sand, torrential rain. Pick your image. When people ask, “How are you?” – and they will one thousand times – decide your answer. Few sincerely want to know. I have been tempted to say, “I’m okay except for my recent tsunami!” Being able to describe your experience with an image is helpful for yourself, though perhaps not others. Actually, it works nicely to say, “I am well.” Even if feeling like a train wreck physically, I am usually well in my center point with Christ. Looks are deceiving. Many are suffering all around you.

None of us is getting out of here alive, unless of course the Lord comes this week. It is just how we go that seems to matter at the end. Will you be kicking and screaming or slipping into the arms of Jesus and His holy angels with a smile on your face? Not a false face, but one of contentment.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.

1 Timothy 6:6-7

Godliness with contentment, great gain. Acceptance ≠ Approval. There is a television show entitled “This is Us.” I pray that your version of the program will be filled with contentment, peace and acceptance of your life as it is now. Cling to hope.

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. The most you can do is live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides.

Barbara Kingsolver “Hope: An Owners Manual”
Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Transfiguration

Did you know that Episcopalians have nuns and convents? There is one in Glendale, Ohio a suburb of Cincinnati. I have been an associate there for thirty-one years.

Recently the Sisters of the Transfiguration sent out a photo of the icon they commissioned years ago. The first artist died before she could complete it. The second artist worked on it and recently sent it along to the Sisters. It depicts Jesus at the Transfiguration, supposedly on the Mount of Tabor. The letters around the edge quote the Scripture Luke 9:29 I believe.

About eight days after Jesus said this, he took Peter, John and James with him and went up onto a mountain to pray. 29 As he was praying, the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning. 

Luke 9:28-29

Orthodox Church of America says “We believe that at the Transfiguration He manifested not some other sort of light, but only that which was concealed beneath His fleshly exterior. This Light was the Light of the Divine Nature, and as such, it was Uncreated and Divine. So also, in the teachings of the Fathers, Jesus Christ was transfigured on the Mount, not taking upon Himself something new nor being changed into something new, nor something which formerly He did not possess. Rather, it was to show His disciples that which He already was, opening their eyes and bringing them from blindness to sight. For do you not see that eyes that can perceive natural things would be blind to this Light?”

Here is the site if you care to read more https://www.oca.org/saints/lives/0215/08/06/102215-the-holy-transfiguration-of-our-lord-god-and-savior-jesus-christ

TRANSFIGURATION (Gk. metamorphoō, to “change into another form”). It is recorded (Matt. 17:2; Mark 9:2) that our Lord “was transfigured” before His disciples Peter, James, and John; and this is explained (Luke 9:29): “And while He was praying, the appearance of His face became different, and His clothing became white and gleaming.” Each of the evangelists represents it as taking place about eight days after the first distinct intimation our Lord made to them of His approaching sufferings, death, and resurrection. The location is merely given as a high mountain, which is traditionally thought to have been Mt. Tabor; but as Jesus was at this time sojourning in the neighborhood of Caesarea Philippi, it seems likely that it was one of the ridges of Hermon. While our Lord was praying He was “transfigured,” i.e., His external aspect was changed, His face gleaming like the sun, and His clothing being so white that it shone like light. The cause of this appearance was that His divine glory shone out through His human form and was not, as in the case of Moses, caused by God’s having appeared to Him.

Unger’s Bible dictionary

The Transfiguration of our Lord on a “high mountain apart,” is described by each of the three evangelists (Matt. 17:1–8; Mark 9:2–8; Luke 9:28–36). The fullest account is given by Luke, who, no doubt, was informed by Peter, who was present on the occasion. What these evangelists record was an absolute historical reality, and not a mere vision. The concurrence between them in all the circumstances of the incident is exact. John seems to allude to it also (John 1:14). Forty years after the event Peter distinctly makes mention of it (2 Pet. 1:16–18). In describing the sanctification of believers, Paul also seems to allude to this majestic and glorious appearance of our Lord on the “holy mount” (Rom. 12:2; 2 Cor. 3:18).
The place of the transfiguration was probably Mount Hermon (q.v.), and not Mount Tabor, as is commonly supposed.

Easton Bible Dictionary

Trust me when I say I am no scholar on the Transfiguration or any Bible matters. I do know that these Scripture accounts have intrigued me for years. “He displayed the Light of Divine Nature that was concealed under His flesh.” And now, He lives in those of us who believe. He instructed us to let our light shine. I think He meant this Divine Light. As you look over the icon and perhaps pray with it may the Lord of all Knowledge open your minds and hearts to our Divine Jesus, come to transfigure us. As Associates we are asked to pray for the Sisters daily. Below is that prayer adapted from the Book of Common Prayer.

Prayer for the Community of the Transfiguration
O God, who on the holy mount revealed to chosen witnesses your well-beloved Son, 
wonderfully transfigured in raiment white and glistening; 
Mercifully grant that the Sisters, 
being delivered from the disquietude of this world, 
may by faith behold the King in his beauty; 
who with you, O Father and you, 
O Holy Spirit, lives and reigns, 
one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
Posted on in Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Memories, Music, Nature, Spiritual growth

Eternally Fresh

Tree roots grow down into the soil and draw water and nutrients to the trunk, branches, twigs and leaves. Our roots must go deep into the Kingdom and draw similar nutrients to our being. This song helps elaborate that for me.

Years ago I enjoyed a CD by Michael Card and John Michael Talbot. Recently two songs from that collection have come to my attention. And yep, I cannot quit humming them. They roll around in my spirit and bring me joy and encouragement. One of those is called “Live This Mystery.” I hope you, too, are able to LIVE this mystery. Here are lyrics from LyricsFreak (not exactly in the order they are sung) and also the recording for your enjoyment and encouragement.

When I consider the secret of the One 
Who dwells in me
That there is truly a presence
In the heart for all who believe
To listen to a silent call
The quiet hunger to give it all

As the river seeks to be
Forgotten in the sea
My life is hidden in Thee
I must live this mystery

Like a moth around the flame
Drawn to the light
And to the pain
Since my life is hid in Thee
I must live this mystery

In Him we live, in Him we move
In Him all things are made new
The mystery of life in Christ
Is Christ can live in you

I hear the silence , it's clamoring
There is only Christ, He is everything
In the language of the soul
It's burning like a coal

There's a voice that is saying
"You can be whole"
A life where all is new
Of timeless moments waits for you

With the heart alone you see
You must live this mystery