Category: Prayer

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Listen, medical treatment, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Revealed

The other morning I was lead to pick up “A Sunlit Absence” by Martin Laird. I read the book several years ago. I have portions of it on a USB drive in my car where I occasionally listen to parts of the text. I was drawn to the concept of God sending ‘a very loving light’ to uncover what we hold in the darkness. In the chapter entitled Sharp Trials in the Intellect he refers often to ‘humbling self-knowledge.’

Humbling Self-knowledge is a crucial component of the deepening of our practice. Saint John of The Cross insists that this light we are filled with is ‘very loving light,” but for lengthy stretches of the spiritual journey, as our practice deepens, this “very loving light” enables us to see aspects of ourselves that we would rather not see but nevertheless bear our name. This humbling self-knowledge is the direct result of the inflow of light into our awareness. As when opening the curtains in a room we have not been in for some time, the light exposes all manner of dirt and dust. the dirt and dust were always there, but there was not light sufficient to see. But St. John of the Cross never wavers from his conviction that this light is not simply luminous but also “very loving light.”

A Sunlit Absence by Martin Laird

I have been doing Physical Therapy at home. It is truly boring. Counting to five on each stretch just blanks my mind. I lose count. Uncertain if that was 7 or 17. I never did enjoy gym class or any sort of physical exercise.

Recently I cleaned up the dining room table and put a table cloth on. Ultimately that meant I could no longer do the stretch called the table slide. I thought in my infinite wisdom, (NOT) that the wall slide and other stretches could replace the table slide.

At Physical Therapy appointment we discovered my shoulder was swollen and I had lost ground on the measurement of where I could tolerate a stretch. AGAIN I lost ground. Very discouraging. The therapist wants me now to count to 10 on the stretches because “you count too fast.” He wants me to set my watch to every 2 hours and do 10 or so stretches of at least three varieties.

As I tried to describe the appointment to Bob and put into words what I was feeling it hit me. My brain has been deceiving me into thinking I am disciplined and doing right by my therapy. I have not been doing right. I was reminded of Jeremiah (after I looked up where the verse was). At first I remembered the verse as “the brain is deceitful above all else.” I did not think I was trying to get away with something, but I was. Deceitful, not something I want to be.

The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
    a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
    and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
    I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
    not as they pretend to be.

Jeremiah 17:9-10 Message

Oh Molly. You have been fooling yourself. Lazy. And also confused. One therapist says do not do these to the point of pain. Then another time the message is to push to the point of pain and maybe a little bit further. The mind, the heart whatever you want to call it I have not been honest with myself about the “work” of recovery.

Realize. Confess. Cling to God. Correct the behavior. Try again.

My humbling self-knowledge shows that I have been fooling around with PT at home. So the table cloth was removed. The table slides started again. The counting to ten is also boring. But if you add the name of Jesus to the list of the fruit of the spirit one can make a ten count if you name them slowly.

“Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control, Jesus.” God help me to do what is right for my recovery. This girl-child needs constant vigilance and discipline. Jesus said “Of myself I can do nothing.” (John 5:30) I know that left to myself I will always mess it up.

The very loving light of my Father shows me my short-comings. I repeatedly ask for His guidance and help. I have not been disappointed. I grew up in a family that was constantly riddled with criticism. I have learned that my heavenly Father is not like that. Yes, He wants me to grow and learn and change into the image of Jesus, but He does not guide me in holy ways through criticism. Saint John of the Cross was correct. This is a very loving light.

May the Light of Life always guide us in the ways of righteousness and holiness. Father knows that left to myself I will always mess it up!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Worship

Will You Breathe Deep?

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Posted on in Art, Book quotes, Faith, Illness and Health, Listen, medical treatment, Nature, Poetry, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Elisabeth Elliot

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Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Music, Nature, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Joy and Restricted Movement

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Posted on in Aging, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Prayer, Thanks, Writing Life

Recovery Week 3-1/2

January 31 I dictated to Word: Even dictating A blog post has been difficult. After I dictate I must go back to edit and correct. Since I am confined to this sling my right hand is basically useless. Reaching out to the computer mouse is out of the question.

The healing is going well but I forgot how slow it could be.

9 days with no sun says our weather man. However, Buffalo gets less sun than we do!

24-2-6 I am into the fourth week in sling. This is very difficult. When I take the sling off I find myself using my hand in ways that cause pain. Likely I should just keep it in the sling! There is a cacophony of moans and groans that accompany my life right now. I’m only taking Tylenol, no pain prescription, but yes shoulder pain is my companion.

Physical therapist says I am doing really well. I persevere with the prescribed stretches every few hours.

I am finally sleeping in my own bed instead of the recliner. For the first two weeks I used the electric ice machine pretty much continually. Now I only use ice packs as needed when the pain flares.

Me trussed up with sling and ice machine both strapped on!

I am so grateful for good books that hold my attention and keep me in the chair. I suppose I should have kept a list of what I have been reading. Oh well, let’s see, Louise Penney Kingdom of the blind, Joe Pickett I think the author is Box. Then a story about an animal entitled Now and Then. Read Jack Reacher book that was made into a movie. Partway through the book I realized I’d already read it but I continued because I could not remember the details. My neighbor Ginny brought me Crimson Phoenix which is the first in a series of three. I am now on book 2 which I got free from the library on hoopla.

Perhaps the most helpful has been a book by Elizabeth Elliott about suffering. I bought it several years ago but never started reading it. It really hits home right now.

Jigsaw puzzles have also held my attention though placing pieces with left hand is a challenge. As is eating with left hand!

I also began a new medication for the psoriasis. It is a biologic which they say lowers my immune system so whenever Bob takes me out in public I’m trying to wear a mask so I don’t pick up anything else. Physical therapist agrees this is a good idea. Though I was immunized, if I should contract the flu, vomiting would not be good with this shoulder recovering.

The Lord continues to uphold me and I am greatly encouraged every time I go back to Philippians 4 and think on such things that strengthen me. We finally have a return to sunshine and milder temperatures in the low 50s. Daffodil leaves began emerging in January and continue to get taller! Indoors, the amaryllis has been opening flower after flower and that cheers me immensely!

May you be blessed with an increase awareness of His presence within and about you!

Posted on in Aging, Family, Illness and Health, Prayer

Post-Op!

So this is the first post I’ve tried to write or rather dictate sense shoulder surgery. It will be quite a while before I can type again. I have to wear the sling for at least five more weeks. Surgery went well, thank you for your prayers. Bob and I could still use prayers as we navigate the ups and downs of having him do everything to run the house and me being not so helpful with just one hand. The weather here has been winter brutal and walking the dog four times a day has zapped his patience and taken a lot of his joy away. So pray for us as we continue to navigate this path to recovery

The doctor found not one partial tear but two partial tears in the rotator cuff one was vertical and one was horizontal. He repaired both of those. One side of the biceps muscle was disconnected from the bone and it will stay that way. He said that’s why it’s called the biceps; my arm will use the other part, the one that’s still attached. I have been able to reduce the pain medication by half. Physical therapy has begun and I do the stretches twice a day at home. As long as my shoulder does not freeze up I can attend physical therapy just once a week. If it freezes I’ll have to begin twice a week. All in all things are looking up.

Sadly, my recliner only has controls on the outside of the right armrest. That means to adjust the chair I have to reach all the way over and under my right arm and down on the outside of the chair to try to find the right button. I think electric recliners need to be required to have adjustments buttons on both sides. Just an observation. Trust me if I ever replace this chair, I’ll be sure to shop for one with buttons on both sides preferably inside the armrest.

Friends and neighbors have brought us gallons of soups.  Some of the soup is now in the freezer as we could not possibly eat all of that before it would spoil. Delicious stuff! There have been 3 flower bouquets and a get well soon balloon. We are grateful for each of them.  I pray that winter has not been too brutal where you are. Regardless of the caterpillars or the Groundhog predictions winter it is. I will say the moon was very bright on the snow at midnight.

Thank you for reading the blog even in my absence.  This post is likely full of typos. I receive an e-mail notification every time someone reads it and it cheers me. Blessings, Molly D

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Memories, Music, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Worship, Yield

This Morning, Monday 1/8/24

For several days this has come on the local radio station and then just rolled about in my soul. Undoubtedly “His word is unfailing, His promise secure!” Such GREAT harmony from these three men! So wish I could memorize the Spanish, “Todo es va estar bien.” I know some of those words from high school Spanish.

This song was popular about 3 years ago. It is still fitting today. Especially as I face shoulder surgery this week. Aunt Norma (now deceased and my mother also deceased) used to sing “He’s got the whole world in His hands” to us when we were very young. I do not know if Aunt Norma ever went to church, but my mother, the child of a Methodist preacher, and Norma instilled this faith in us through their faith. Did someone sing it to you or with you when you were a child?

Regardless of the outcome of surgery the following will remain the song of my soul.

It never ceases to amaze me how the Holy Spirit can give us direction and comfort especially in uncertain circumstances. He is with us and in us.

On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.

Said Jesus recorded in John 14:20 NIV

“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me….”

Jesus prayed recorded in John 17:20-21 NIV

Everything will be all right. The whole world’s in His hands. He is my all in all.

Paul said, “In him we live and move and have our being”; as even some of your poets have said, ‘For we are indeed His offspring.”

Acts 17:28 RSV

It bears repeating Everything will be all right. The whole world’s in His hands. He is my all in all.

Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Philippians 4: 6 RSV
Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Family, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Prayer, Thanks, Yield

I Am on the Schedule!!

Surgery on my right shoulder is planned for next Thursday, January 11! Partial tear of rotator cuff, remove bone spurs, check biceps attachment. When I woke up at 4AM in pain this morning I was more than ready to take the surgery. Procedure will be arthroscopically, i.e., tiny incisions where tools and camera go in and surgeon makes repairs through them.

Ever since I got the news I have been working like crazy to get ready. Got my hair cut 5 inches so Bob does not have as much to wash or brush. See, I will be a sling for quite a while and not much use as to my typical duties. I am so grateful he is here to help me!

Pre-op physical is next Monday. I have had to change all my prescriptions to a new pharmacy due to insurance changes. Have them all filled and in the building. Boxes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and bedtime are filled for 3 weeks worth! Imagine trying to open a pill bottle with one hand, especially your non-dominant hand.

My neighbor was very generous to loan me her ice machine. Nifty machine that holds iced water which it pumps through tubes into a pad that cools the surgery area.

I had this surgery 20 years ago and for the life of me cannot remember how I got dressed! The surgery will be outpatient at Ortho Cincy surgical center. I will go home with an abduction sling. Have not tried it on yet. They will put it on me after surgery. Bob will be my driver and care giver.

Looks something like this

The recliner will be my sleeping location as lying down and getting up out of the bed will be something I have to progress towards. I will not be able to clean up my sleeping area (think sheet and blankets with assorted pillows). The guilt is already building. I am married to “Mr. Tidy” and I try to do my part to keep the common areas of the house tidy. My desk? That is another matter.

How does one prepare to be helpless and passive with a smile? Hard to be jolly about that kind of surrender. Yet I am going to try! “What ever is good, pure, lovely, worthy of praise, etc”

So yes, I would appreciate your prayers. All this weird positioning is never good for the arthritis and fibromyalgia. Imagine me with ice machine on my shoulder and heating pad behind my back! Woohoo, such a sight. No photos will follow…I might try dictating a post when I get off pain meds. Likely too hard to type for a while. I will have so much time to think up ideas for this blog!!

Today we listed all the frozen foods in our deep freeze. Made 2 large chicken pot pies with Pillsbury crusts. We have many frozen soups, meat sealed with gravy or broth, etc. Green chicken chili, black beans,etc, Mom’s vegetable soup recipe. Not to mention frozen pizza for Bob and the foods friends will drop off.

Minimum weeks in a sling, months in physical therapy. I will need gallons of patience and I find that ice cream cannot provide that. Drats! I will have Bob post for me after surgery. I am certain it will go well. Trusting the Father and rejoicing that I will have this repair.

Posted on in Faith, Family, Humor, Prayer

iPhone

I wrote a post in 2023 called “iPhone into the Sky” with my poem entitled Afternoon Grandeur. You can click this link to read that post. https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/14572

My Grandgirl had an iPhone into the sky moment over the Christmas holidays. She and her boyfriend were on the roller coaster at the Kings Island amusement park. Her parents had just purchased a new iPhone for her through their cellular plan. She had it in the pocket of her sweatpants. As the ride hit a turn, her iPhone became the iPhone in the sky and not having airborne abilities it went flying away in the dark. You probably guessed it. Her parents had not bought insurance for the phone as ‘she never loses anything.’ Ouch. An eighteen year old with a huge problem.

They tried to find the phone, to no avail. They used a tracking program and it was reported to be at a certain location near some trees. The staff could not find it. Meanwhile some of the family was praying for a miracle. In some way, my daughter was able to lock it. Still not found. “First world problem” indeed!

After a couple days of anguish my Grandgirl received a phone call. The park had found it. They had her state some identifying factors. She drove up to get it. It was not broken or cracked or anything. It had just taken a night flight and then was returned. (Sort of like that kid who was trying to travel from Tampa to Cleveland and wound up in Puerto Rico? Only the iPhone could not read.)

As Anita sang in the West Side Story song America, “Smoke on your pipe and put that in!” Just listen to the first minute!

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Challenge, Faith, Illness and Health, medical treatment, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Worship

A New Year

For older folks, if their prescription drug coverage insurance company changed it means calling the new pharmacy to transfer your prescriptions from the other pharmacy to the new one. This morning the new pharmacy said my insurance card numbers did not work. What? the insurance company issued it. They said to just bring it in when refill is ready and they will work with me on it. Not a good beginning!

Are your Christmas decorations put away yet? Not all of mine. So far, we have undecorated the artificial tree. It is prelit but the weather has been so Ohio Gloomy that we have just left it up to brighten the room. Grandgirl will come help me put away nativity set on Wednesday. She is also tall enough that it is easy for her to clean the tops of the kitchen cabinets that do not go all the way to the ceiling. Our lights on the back deck will stay put until Valentine’s day. Another effort to push back the darkness.

Ha! Just realized that by then two of my neighbors who are both expecting baby boys will likely have given birth! Oh I do love babies. My husband calls me the baby whisperer.

But my passion might be mitigated by shoulder surgery. Still waiting to hear if that has been scheduled. My surgeon is having surgery for pinched nerve in his neck something like January 18? If he can’t get me in before then, I might have to wait until he recovers. Thanksgiving 2022 I pulled something in my shoulder. Later x-rays and MRI showed partially torn rotator cuff. Had 2 bouts of PT. The steroid injection last spring/summer did not provide lasting pain relief 6 months. I hurt it again last week when I reached across the counter for a piece of waxed paper. Not even lifting! Now reaching for the salt shaker hurts. Let’s just suffice it to say I am eager to have this fixed, but do so want to hold newborn babies.

Another year and always more health challenges for those of us blessed to be growing older. Thank You LORD for giving us life and love for another year. You have brought us safely this far. We trust You to walk with us into the future. We know You are the only thing going on for eternity. So we clasp Your hand in faith and with joy, knowing that we are never alone. You are always with us.