Never Crossed My Mind


Never Crossed My Mind ©Molly Lin Dutina 2024

Never crossed my mind
As a younger woman
Hiking the trail, searching for flowers
Savoring the sound of Living waters
That a time would come

When the trails would offer a daunting challenge
Sitting on a low bench
Taking an inexpert selfie
Would create clenching back pain
Upon arising

The Living Water refreshes my soul
Grand vistas renew my high opinion
Of Your glorious creation
Most High and Holy God
You bless me.

Black bear lumbers through the woods
Even haphazard parking by tourists
Cannot disturb this peace

Trickle of the brook calls me to quiet
Splendor of mighty clouds
Marching across Your endless sky
Summon me to Your heart.

The woodland has changed
Mighty windstorms have reshaped
Trails and brooks
Grateful the young rangers
Care for these trails and not me

My Thin Place

The photo above shows the outside of what remains of the church called Teampall Bhreacain, Na Seacht dTeampaill, County Galway, Ireland. I believe it is also known as Church of the Hollow. I think r m dutina took all of these photos, but honestly I cannot remember. We were wandering separately around the grounds. When he caught up to me I could barely speak!

The altar from afar
Through the window of the ages
Past the thick walls of time
Stands a symbol of death
Nay! Bright resurrection
Hope of all men

The rough stones placed
In geometrically sound patterns
Of worship, of honor, of praise
Roofless now
that heaven may freely break through
to us of long ages later
Arches , capstones, edges of time
Torn by the worship of long ago
Until our hearts are lifted up
To worship the same lovely truth

You came for us
You come to us still
To have us for Your own
Encircling with Spirit
Invading with Holy
Illumine our techno age
With truth of heaven
Power of Holy
Spirit of Life.

Why would I want to return to Church of the Hollow at Inishmore? I could have sat there for hours, listening, praying, in worship and wonder. Next time I would return with a folding chair!

This is where you sing Psalm 84!

And the walk down to the sea.

Song Bird I Delight In The Most

Have your heard a Thrush? Wood or Hermit I am never quite certain, but always enchanted!

We heard it as we entered the the Porters Creek Trailhead in Greenbrier.

This bird always gives me cause to stop and praise the Lord. He did not have to create birds with such majestic songs, yet He lets us hear them and enjoy His handiwork. When we lived on Siesta Drive I would hear one each summer. I even saw it in our front yard once. Since we moved to Platform Street I have not heard one, until the other morning!

Thrush 24-5-5©Molly Lin Dutina
This early morn
I hear the Wood Thrush
calliope in the trees
Wood thrush or Hermit Thrush?
She sings praises
of the Most High

I am blessed to listen
To her anthem of worship
Not often do I hear her
A special treat indeed

Perhaps she will find
A place nearby to nest
Regardless, she blesses me here now

Straining later to hear her song
Was that the now rare Bob White quail?
As a child I would hear it on summer mornings
Having lost its habitat
it is now most rare here

I strain for Your voice Lord
Above all the other songs
Yours is the one I want to hear over me.

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

Treasures in plain sight, and if you cannot spot them, they might be treasures within your hearing!

 Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Matthew 6:26 NRSVA

More Flower Searching

We previously hiked this trail in 2013. Now as we approached it eleven years later I was reminded of a woman who inspired me there.

Woman on the Trail © Molly Lin Dutina 2013 and 2024

On our hunt 2013 for pink Lady’s Slippers
Elusive wild orchids of the Smoky Mountain woods
I was surprised to see this woman
With a walker that rolled
It also had a seat for when she needed to rest

At first sight, I thought “poor thing’
At second glance I realized
It likely was harder for her to get here
Than me, walking under my own pained power
But she was here to see
The same sights as me.
We both smiled with satisfaction
At this glorious creation.

As we parted she asked the Lord’s blessing
upon me. She also posed the question
“Well, what else are we going to do?”
Yes, we cope as best we can
Whatever condition life throws at us

Now in 2024, viewing the Lady’s Slippers
at the exact same location
I pray she too was able to come
see them this year

I will not forget her lesson of joy
Determination, fortitude, courage
Doing what your soul needs done
Regardless of what your physique
May declare

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting  away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

2 Corinthians 4:16-17 NIV

The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land.

Song of Solomon 2:12 NKJV

Another Poem by Amy

Reading the entry for April 4 in The Edges of His Ways I came to this verse of her poem and thought you too might benefit from reading.

So individual is His thought
For all of us, did one let go
The hand of Joy, and, sore distraught,
Forget to sing, His heart would know

Amy Carmichael

Father God knows the needs of each child and He is intimately involved in each formation and need. You are known. You are loved. The Almighty cares. Lean on Him for He cares about you! He has a personal walk with you. It will not be like that of any other person. We can share our insights and experiences, but our walk is personal.

Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7 NRSV

Updating Poetry

I have been printing my poetry and placing it in the collection notebook. I am amazed that so far there 168 poems in the notebook. Some are a few lines long. Some are many verses. Some still need editing (not a task I like to do)!

Having spent much of Lent reflecting on Jesus asleep in the boat with me and the other disciples terrified in the storm I think it is perhaps time to share this poem. I am actually uncertain which poems i have shared and which ones I have not. Yes, I should have taken greater care with keeping a record of these!

23 And when he got into the boat, his disciples followed him. 24 A windstorm suddenly arose on the sea, so great that the boat was being swamped by the waves, but he was asleep. 25 And they went and woke him up, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!” 26 And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, you of little faith?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a dead calm. 27 They were amazed, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him?”

Matthew 8:23-27 NRSV
Lord of the Tempest © 2000 Molly Lin Dutina 

MT 8:27 NRSV They were amazed, saying, “What sort of man is this,
that even the winds and the sea obey Him?”

Lord of the tempest, calm my soul
I turn my troubled heart to You.

Arise in my vessel.
Rebuke the winds and waves
that I might serve You
in holy calm.

Oh me of little faith
cry out to your Master,
become like Him,
faithful even in storms.

There is much to complete.
Lord, order my workday,
my prayer life,
speak to my little faith,
make me new.

Even in a furious storm,
You slept, You arose, You spoke.
Fill me with that same holiness.
Calm my fears and flights of negativity.

I thirst, my Lord,
I ache for You.
Come fill me with Your living water
reservoir of life
spring of eternity
purposeful spirituality.

Presence that can be grasped
in the midst of things to do.
Like the mask that drops down
in an airline emergency
provide for me the breath of life.

Sustain, refresh and keep me
help me to deeply breathe in Your Spirit
even as I serve You at work, at church, at home.

Amen.




Song Calling to Me

I have mentioned before how the Lord often gets my attention through a song. A snippet here. A lyric there, and soon I am on a chase like a dog after a rabbit. This week it has been “O Sacred Head Now Wounded.”

The photo on YouTube must be the guy who posted video and lyrics. That is certainly not Fernando Ortega!

Wikipedia says:  The poem (lyrics) is often attributed to Bernard of Clairvaux (1091–1153), but is now attributed to the medieval poet Arnulf of Leuven (died 1250). Originally the poem had 7 stanzas referring to the various parts of Christ’s crucified body. The last 2 stanzas are the most famous today. Regardless it is a very old poem that was set to music over the ages in the 1700s and 1800s, etc.

I cannot seem to play this once, but sing it repeatedly! Why not listen again and see where the lyrics take you?

1. O sacred Head, now wounded,
with grief and shame weighed down,
now scornfully surrounded
with thorns, thine only crown:
how pale thou art with anguish,
with sore abuse and scorn!
How does that visage languish
which once was bright as morn!

2. What thou, my Lord, has suffered
was all for sinners' gain;
mine, mine was the transgression,
but thine the deadly pain.
Lo, here I fall, my Savior!
'Tis I deserve thy place;
look on me with thy favor,
vouchsafe to me thy grace.

3. What language shall I borrow
to thank thee, dearest friend,
for this thy dying sorrow,
thy pity without end?
O make me thine forever;
and should I fainting be,
Lord, let me never, never
outlive my love for thee.

How do you honor the Lord and His sacrifice on our behalf as Lent ends and Easter approaches?

Chronic Pain and Dust

When I am trying to cope with unrelenting pain I often tell Bob it is as if I am being ground to powder. Reading Elisabeth Elliot’s book A Path Through Suffering I was blessed by her paraphrase of Job 7:19, 10:8-9.

Can’t you take your eyes off me? Won’t you leave me alone long enough to swallow my spit? You shaped me and made me; now you’ve turned to destroy me. You kneaded me like clay, now you’re grinding me to a powder.

Elisabeth Elliot

Unless you have endured pain that will not let up, no matter what you do or medication you may swallow, you might not get the idea of being ground to powder. It is as if every fiber of your being that was once solid, is being changed to powder, without substance, mere dust.

Early in my diagnosis of chronic illness I came across this quote. It has helped me endure some hours of ceaseless pain, turning loose of my clenched senses and releasing myself to the loving light of my Savior.

O God, 
grant that I may understand that it is You
who are painfully parting the fibers of my being
in order to penetrate to the very marrow
of my substance and
bear me away within Yourself.
-Teilhard de Chardin, SJ


Teilhard de Chardin

While reading the last few days I was reminded (I do not remember in which book) that from dust we came and to dust we will return. Of course, you remember that Jesus also performed a miraculous healing by spitting and mixing it with dust, then rubbing it on a man’s eyes. (John 9) So why not use dust to awaken me to His presence and power even in the midst of pain. Even if it be the dust I call myself?

When you feel as if life is grinding you down to a powder how do you respond? Or do you just react? Elisabeth says of Job on page 52 “A living proof of a living faith was required, not only for Job’s friends, but for unseen powers in high places. Job’s suffering provided the context for a demonstration of trust. … To us who have the New Testament, it would seem that Job had very little to go on, yet he kept on talking to God.

Job kept on talking to God, even when things looked bleak. In Job 13:15a Job declared, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Have you come to that extent of trust? Have you placed your all on the altar and left it there for God to use as He sees fit?

I had a friend named Char. She was slowly dying of lung cancer. I met her when I was giving a series of group lessons in crochet. She wanted to speak to me alone. We met several times at her house. One thing she really wanted the answer to had to do with prayer. She told me she talked to God all day long about everything. She asked me if she was “doing prayer right.” I assured her that nothing would please the Father more than to be included in every aspect of our life. Elliot pointed out that “Job kept on talking to God.” Are you continually talking to God? Do you invite Him in to your thoughts and activities throughout the day? Once your morning prayers and devotionals are over are you finished with God?

Perhaps my favorite image of dust is captured in this poem from 1989. Pray That I Don’t Panic © 1989   Molly Lin Dutina

	If I let myself feel the pain will I become intoxicated with the pain?  
Overwhelmed by the pain
will my life then become JUST PAIN with no other
sensation, value, or purpose?
Will I be consumed with gauging the pain
sitting in the pain
walking in the pain?
All my perceptions dulled except to pain
under pain
in pain
pain through and through
pain behind me
ahead of me pain
on all sides of me pain
above me
beneath me
life reduced
to pain
in every cell pain
Sleeplessness because of pain
Restless when sleeping due to pain

If I acknowledge the pain will I have
fortitude and courage to live beyond the pain,
Somehow given grace to override the pain,
not censor it
ignore it
deny it
but live a life in the midst of pain
always haunted by pain?
Pain of bone deterioration,
random muscle pain,
unwarranted from any strain or excess.

Pain my life
drugged or not
my partner
companion in my genes
product of ancestral history or just misfortune?

For years my life has been
pain denial pain drugs pain hope pain drained-of-hope pain denial
I am afraid that no,
the pain will never end, or, even worse,
the pain will increase
envelop, dictate, control my life.

There, I've written it. Many marvel that I'm so busy
try to accomplish so much.
They are not acquainted
with my relentless task master
who drives me on with fear
that my capacity to accomplish anything
will one day be diminished to near zero.

Jesus awoke in the boat and said, "Why are you so afraid?"

Yet then,
through Him, I'll arise
a phoenix intercessor on behalf of God's children
engaged perhaps in the biggest battle of life to date.
A supreme calling more valuable than my do-ings.
With bones cracking, muscles aching, nerves shooting
red hot signals to nowhere and everywhere
outer body diminishing
while inner woman draws upon her experience with
the living, dynamic, omnipotent Father and
she is renewed, remade in His image,
inhabited daily, hourly,
in every cell of her being
by Holy Spirit
overshadowed, indwelt
in spite of all this carnal container can develop -
a woman of God
passing through
journeying towards home
where all sorrow, all tears, and
all pain will be no more.
Forever inhabited by Holy Spirit
in rapturous adoration
of His glory
peace
and mercy.
Even so, Lord Jesus,
I offer myself a living sacrifice unto You.
Renew my mind according to the word
and transform even this pain.


The ogre crumbles,
rivulets of plaster
dust
falling from its once daunting facade
gathering in powder clumps
revealing its paltry nature.




1 Peter 4:19 encourages us to "entrust yourself to your faithful Creator." I pray you and I will both do this constantly regardless of how we feel.

My Later Winter Poetry

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