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Category: Memories
Eating Holiday?
It was a grand sunny day, though the wind remained cold. We had a morning with nothing planned for us! I had heard of a relatively new bakery called Clarity House, Bakery and Tea Room. Mention bakery to Bob and we are off on a field trip!
The bakery was cozy and welcoming. The soft ginger cookie enticed me! He ordered the blueberry scone. When we go out in the morning I often have to find a restroom as I declare, “Morning coffee, coming through!” This day was no exception. As I followed the instructions from the waitress I happened on a room with 5 women having a Bible study. I asked what they were studying. There was a pause and one answered “Jesus!” One Bible was opened the Isaiah and another to Timothy. I went along to use the facilities. When I emerged I noticed an area devoted to leaving prayer requests on tags. Bunches had been filled out. Very nice!
As we got back in the car we pondered what to do next. Montgomery is very close to Kenwood where our local Trader Joe’s is located. We had been there the week before and the dark chocolate bars I wanted for the physical therapists were on back order. The clerk assured me he would have them in 2 or 3 days. I told him I usually only visited once a month or less. Bob suggested we return there to see if the chocolate was in. In fact, it was in and I purchased it for our cupboard and the PT team.
Kenwood is just down the road from Silverton. We have tried multiple times to buy from Silverton Donuts. We arrived there to find a sign on the door that they would not be open for a couple days. Drats! We started to wonder if we would have to get up before sunrise to try their tasty treats!
Well since we were in the area we stopped at Esther Price candies. The older folks around here have been searching for “Hummingbird Eggs.” This candy is like tiny drops of cream candy. No one seems to make them anymore. Esther Price did not either. All the rest of their candy was stocked for the coming Easter celebration. We bought ourselves a solid dark chocolate rabbit. Then Bob spotted the individual candies. They reminded us so much of See’s Candy in California. They do not make vanilla walnut fudge (drats, my favorite), but the chocolates sounded divine! Bob decided on a mixed 8 ounce box. The cashier said we had the best person packing the box. When we asked why she told us, “She always puts in some extra pieces!” Sure enough she added 2 “turtles” chocolate over caramel and pecans. Oh goodness. We each ate half a turtle in the car.
Since the kids are grown and the oldest grandkids no longer seem interested in candy and certainly not Resurrection Sunday, we decided to just celebrate among ourselves, like before the kids came along. On the way home I pondered how much fun it would be to display our candy on the china layer plates that our daughter had replaced for us. When we moved I packed the display dish my mother loved and this move one of her plates broke. I chose to keep the Esther Price chocolates in the cupboard for just the two of us.
Another item missing from the Easter candy displays this year is pastel candy corn. I thought perhaps it might take the place of hummingbird eggs? Bob decided we should stop at Supreme Nut and Candy company to see if they carried it. Just a few more miles down the road right at the freeway exit. Why not? Nope. They did not have any this year. My usual evening snack that is crunchy and low carb means 2 caramel rice cakes. I have found they are extra tasty with a little bit of candy corn! So we bought regular candy corn to refill the jar!
You may remember the trip to the Amish country where we spotted the feeder pig barn.?
At times I challenge Bob that we eat our way through a vacation. This time it was a tasty road trip. Most everything made it home without any bites missing.
Rub Me Smooth
When we traveled (I think it was in Idaho?) this photo brought back a song I had heard in my heart many years before.
This is the lyric I heard and finally wrote down in 2016
Rub me smooth
Rub me smooth
With Your living water
Rub me smooth
I am a sharp stone
Quarried from the earth
With Your Living Water
Rub me smooth
Allelu, Alluelu
by Your living water rub me smooth
I am a sharp stone
Quarried from the earth
by Your living water rub me smooth.
“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
Isaiah 51:1 NIV
and who seek the Lord:
Look to the rock from which you were cut
and to the quarry from which you were hewn;
When I studied this out here is some of what I found.
look unto the rock – The ancestors of the nation are compared to a quarry, the Israelites to the stones hewn from it,—a peculiar image found nowhere else
Cambridge Bible for schools and collegesA river rock is a natural stone that has been smoothed and shaped by the flow of water in a river. Abrasion is a process of continuing the smoothing of rocks by water and by other rocks, making them smooth and round.
https://howtofindrocks.com/what-makes-river-rocks-smooth-and-round/
Abrasion from the water reshapes the rock. What is harder than rock? At times my heart is! Yet that living water flows and shapes and corrects my rough edges until they resemble smooth stones.
For an enriching discussion about David and the five stones, etc. see https://graceintorah.net/2015/06/19/five-smooth-stones/#_ftn8
I challenge you to choose a stone and carry it in your pocket as a reminder of the Presence of God and the work of the Living Water in smoothing you. Yield to that life-giving work and show forth His glory in your life.
Chronic Pain and Dust
When I am trying to cope with unrelenting pain I often tell Bob it is as if I am being ground to powder. Reading Elisabeth Elliot’s book A Path Through Suffering I was blessed by her paraphrase of Job 7:19, 10:8-9.
Can’t you take your eyes off me? Won’t you leave me alone long enough to swallow my spit? You shaped me and made me; now you’ve turned to destroy me. You kneaded me like clay, now you’re grinding me to a powder.
Elisabeth Elliot
Unless you have endured pain that will not let up, no matter what you do or medication you may swallow, you might not get the idea of being ground to powder. It is as if every fiber of your being that was once solid, is being changed to powder, without substance, mere dust.
Early in my diagnosis of chronic illness I came across this quote. It has helped me endure some hours of ceaseless pain, turning loose of my clenched senses and releasing myself to the loving light of my Savior.
O God,
grant that I may understand that it is You
who are painfully parting the fibers of my being
in order to penetrate to the very marrow
of my substance and
bear me away within Yourself.
-Teilhard de Chardin, SJ
While reading the last few days I was reminded (I do not remember in which book) that from dust we came and to dust we will return. Of course, you remember that Jesus also performed a miraculous healing by spitting and mixing it with dust, then rubbing it on a man’s eyes. (John 9) So why not use dust to awaken me to His presence and power even in the midst of pain. Even if it be the dust I call myself?
When you feel as if life is grinding you down to a powder how do you respond? Or do you just react? Elisabeth says of Job on page 52 “A living proof of a living faith was required, not only for Job’s friends, but for unseen powers in high places. Job’s suffering provided the context for a demonstration of trust. … To us who have the New Testament, it would seem that Job had very little to go on, yet he kept on talking to God.”
Job kept on talking to God, even when things looked bleak. In Job 13:15a Job declared, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Have you come to that extent of trust? Have you placed your all on the altar and left it there for God to use as He sees fit?
I had a friend named Char. She was slowly dying of lung cancer. I met her when I was giving a series of group lessons in crochet. She wanted to speak to me alone. We met several times at her house. One thing she really wanted the answer to had to do with prayer. She told me she talked to God all day long about everything. She asked me if she was “doing prayer right.” I assured her that nothing would please the Father more than to be included in every aspect of our life. Elliot pointed out that “Job kept on talking to God.” Are you continually talking to God? Do you invite Him in to your thoughts and activities throughout the day? Once your morning prayers and devotionals are over are you finished with God?
Perhaps my favorite image of dust is captured in this poem from 1989. Pray That I Don’t Panic © 1989 Molly Lin Dutina
If I let myself feel the pain will I become intoxicated with the pain?
Overwhelmed by the pain
will my life then become JUST PAIN with no other
sensation, value, or purpose?
Will I be consumed with gauging the pain
sitting in the pain
walking in the pain?
All my perceptions dulled except to pain
under pain
in pain
pain through and through
pain behind me
ahead of me pain
on all sides of me pain
above me
beneath me
life reduced
to pain
in every cell pain
Sleeplessness because of pain
Restless when sleeping due to pain
If I acknowledge the pain will I have
fortitude and courage to live beyond the pain,
Somehow given grace to override the pain,
not censor it
ignore it
deny it
but live a life in the midst of pain
always haunted by pain?
Pain of bone deterioration,
random muscle pain,
unwarranted from any strain or excess.
Pain my life
drugged or not
my partner
companion in my genes
product of ancestral history or just misfortune?
For years my life has been
pain denial pain drugs pain hope pain drained-of-hope pain denial
I am afraid that no,
the pain will never end, or, even worse,
the pain will increase
envelop, dictate, control my life.
There, I've written it. Many marvel that I'm so busy
try to accomplish so much.
They are not acquainted
with my relentless task master
who drives me on with fear
that my capacity to accomplish anything
will one day be diminished to near zero.
Jesus awoke in the boat and said, "Why are you so afraid?"
Yet then,
through Him, I'll arise
a phoenix intercessor on behalf of God's children
engaged perhaps in the biggest battle of life to date.
A supreme calling more valuable than my do-ings.
With bones cracking, muscles aching, nerves shooting
red hot signals to nowhere and everywhere
outer body diminishing
while inner woman draws upon her experience with
the living, dynamic, omnipotent Father and
she is renewed, remade in His image,
inhabited daily, hourly,
in every cell of her being
by Holy Spirit
overshadowed, indwelt
in spite of all this carnal container can develop -
a woman of God
passing through
journeying towards home
where all sorrow, all tears, and
all pain will be no more.
Forever inhabited by Holy Spirit
in rapturous adoration
of His glory
peace
and mercy.
Even so, Lord Jesus,
I offer myself a living sacrifice unto You.
Renew my mind according to the word
and transform even this pain.
The ogre crumbles,
rivulets of plaster dust
falling from its once daunting facade
gathering in powder clumps
revealing its paltry nature.
1 Peter 4:19 encourages us to "entrust yourself to your faithful Creator." I pray you and I will both do this constantly regardless of how we feel.
Bob Steps Out
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Things We Say
At times I come across colloquial sayings I am totally unfamiliar with. I read the saying “Hell in spectacles” from No Country for Old Men by Cormack. I started the book when they announced he had died. I was unfamiliar with him as an author, so I got the book from the library. Shortly after starting it, I closed the book as it was too violent for me.
Were there sayings popular in your family?
Grandgirl Ellie said “Dojo” so much as a baby that her Dad began calling her DoJo.
“Falingos”, said Grandgirl Lizzie. She wanted to see flamingos.
Grandson Rowan asked if I wanted to play “Paarates.” Pirates.
I often say, “Earth to Molly, come in please. Ooh! No body home.” I can be such a space cadet.
“Little Molly make a mess!” No blame no shame, just clean it up.
My mother-in-law often said, “Fudge.” And at other times she reiterated, “Pussywillow.”
My best friend’s family would exclaim, “Crime in Itly!”
A New York City waiter told me, “Whaddaryagonnado?”
Another day same waiter said I should just “Fergedaboudit.”
How about at your house or among your friends?
To one friend I would exclaim, “Lord, have mercy!” His reply was “He already has.” His amused voice still rings in my ears 🙂
As a child Jeff asked me to buy “Woobea.” Finally figured out he meant Root Beer.
Emily liked to hear the “amblience” and watch the “ephelants.”
Beat around the bush, close but no cigar, shoot from the hip, a dime a dozen, that and a dime will get you a cup of coffee, in a nutshell, cain’t complain, yep, they go on and on!
One friend says, “Might oughta.” I always have to think about that as it was not a saying in my ‘neck of the woods.”
Enjoy the language and try not to fracture it too badly!/i
This Morning, Monday 1/8/24
For several days this has come on the local radio station and then just rolled about in my soul. Undoubtedly “His word is unfailing, His promise secure!” Such GREAT harmony from these three men! So wish I could memorize the Spanish, “Todo es va estar bien.” I know some of those words from high school Spanish.
This song was popular about 3 years ago. It is still fitting today. Especially as I face shoulder surgery this week. Aunt Norma (now deceased and my mother also deceased) used to sing “He’s got the whole world in His hands” to us when we were very young. I do not know if Aunt Norma ever went to church, but my mother, the child of a Methodist preacher, and Norma instilled this faith in us through their faith. Did someone sing it to you or with you when you were a child?
Regardless of the outcome of surgery the following will remain the song of my soul.
It never ceases to amaze me how the Holy Spirit can give us direction and comfort especially in uncertain circumstances. He is with us and in us.
On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.
Said Jesus recorded in John 14:20 NIV
“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me….”
Jesus prayed recorded in John 17:20-21 NIV
Everything will be all right. The whole world’s in His hands. He is my all in all.
Paul said, “In him we live and move and have our being”; as even some of your poets have said, ‘For we are indeed His offspring.”
Acts 17:28 RSV
It bears repeating Everything will be all right. The whole world’s in His hands. He is my all in all.
Have no anxiety about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Philippians 4: 6 RSV
Godspell
This was a musical in 1971. Wiki[edia reports, “The show is structured as a series of parables, primarily based on the Gospel of Matthew, interspersed with music mostly set to lyrics from traditional hymns, with the passion of Christ appearing briefly near the end.”
These lyrics have been rolling in my head for a couple weeks. Naturally that leads to a blog post!
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Can you take me with you?
For my hand is cold
And needs warmth
Where are you going?
Far beyond where the horizon lies
Where the horizon lies
And the land sinks into mellow blueness
Oh please, take me with you
Let me skip the road with you
I can dare myself
I can dare myself
I'll put a pebble in my shoe
And watch me walk (watch me walk)
I can walk and walk!
(I can walk!)
I shall call the pebble Dare
I shall call the pebble Dare
We will talk, we will talk together
We will talk (chorus) about walking
Dare shall be carried
And when we both have had enough
I will take him from my shoe, singing:
"Meet your new road!"
Then I'll take your hand
Finally glad
Finally glad
That you are here
By my side
By my side
By my side
By my side
So what of it? Well, they remind me to remember the LORD regardless of life circumstances. At times I am the pebble Dare, and at other times I need the challenge to remember We walk together.
Hard to ignore a pebble in your shoe. I am more likely to have a pebble in my pocket. Or a large wooden bead. Or something to bring my attention back to Him. I challenge you to carry something as a reminder throughout your day to turn again to Christ and walk together.
Sunday, December 17
In the Monday zoom group we are reading and discussing Richard Rohr’s book entitled Eager to Love, The Alternative Way of Francis of Assisi. Reading Chapter 6, “An Alternative Orthodoxy” I came across this statement by Rohr.
For example, I often change the wording of many of the official orations of the Catholic Mass, after I find myself praying for my or our own salvation 65 percent of the time (Count them yourself.)
Page 90, Eager to Love by R. Rohr
If you have ever attended a liturgical church this might be true of you, also. I know there are things I added to my prayer book when we regularly attended the Episcopal church. I will give you an example.
A portion of The General Thanksgiving
Almighty God, Father of all mercies, we your unworthy servants give you humble thanks for all your goodness and loving-kindness to us and to all whom you have made. We bless you for our creation, preservation, and all the blessings of this life; but above all for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory.
Morning Prayer 2, Page 101
I prayed this most every morning when I was a Third Order Franciscan. I eventually added:
…but above all for the means of grace, for the hope of glory and for the glory of hope.
Hope can be elusive and I find it glorious when I can grasp it! These are the things I often ponder with my prayers.
How about you? The hope of glory is a wondrous, majestic thing that only the Holy One can pull off for us. What about the glory of hope? Have you found holding on to it difficult in your life, too?
I have a clear blown-glass woman which I just love. Yes, I could live without it, but she reminds me of how I am to live before the Father as stated in the beginning of the Holy Eucharist.
Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your Holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen.
BCP, Holy Eucharist: Rite Two, Page 355
Many people think they have to clean themselves up before they come to God. We each know we have fallen short of his calling. What we often fail to realize is that the inspiration of the Holy Spirit is sent to show us how to get cleaned up!
Christian society has decided that certain sins are worse than others, though no where in Scripture is one stated as being worse than others. Rohr wrote, “Organized religion has paid much attention to some things that Jesus never once mentioned and rather totally ignored others that he stated with utter clarity.” (God help us all!) “No pope, priest, or parishioner has ever been excommunicated for living too rich a lifestyle, or for being ambitious, greedy or prideful, even though Jesus condemned these things much more directly and openly than for what most (religions) usually excommunicate people.” Just like we sometimes try to clean ourselves up in our own strength, the Holy Spirit can show us the actual root of our unrighteousness and help us cleanse the thoughts of our hearts. “That we may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your holy name.”
As some of you know, I collect handmade cotton washcloths for Empower Youth, a ministry to underprivileged children in our county. Each year they hold a “Winterfest” where the kids get various blessings, a gift, a stocking and breakfast. This blog opens with a photo of some of the washcloths. We wrap them around a bar of soap and tie them with leftover yarn. The kids can use them in the bathtub or moms and grandmas can use them in the kitchen sink. Generous volunteers donated 300 this year! Cleansing is the idea.
So this Advent season leading into Christmas I pray you will let the Holy Spirit inspire you to stay open to God and learn how to let him cleanse the thoughts of your hearts that, indeed, “we may perfectly love God and worthily magnify His holy Name; through Jesus Christ our Lord.” To God be the glory!
Winter Poetry
23-11-25 Red Canvas Bag ©Molly Lin Dutina
Most of the year you live in
A red canvas bag
Then we bring you home
From the clanging metal storage building
Straighten your limbs
Hang baubles of delight and memory on your
Prelit branches
You grace our home with extra light
Shielding us from the gloom of approaching
Winter short days
The night is less daunting
As you fill our room with a soft glow
Light of the Savior
Topped with His Crown of Glory
Light to save us from despair
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 