Category: Humor

Pour out

Posted on in Humor, Social Distancing

Ennui

Does this sound familiar?
Verb      1.            constrain - hold back
cumber, encumber, restrain
confine, limit, throttle, trammel, restrain, restrict, bound - place limits on (extent or access); "restrict the use of this parking lot"; "limit the time you can spend with your friends"
bridle - put a bridle on; "bridle horses"
curb - keep to the curb; "curb your dogs"
clog - impede the motion of, as with a chain or a burden; "horses were clogged until they were tamed"
2.            constrain - restrict; "Tighten the rules"; "stiffen the regulations"
tighten up, stiffen, tighten
 
I am bridled by the isolation and social distancing rules. I am straining against the limits and confines of this house, this new routine, this spring of our disease and discontent. And yes, I am
bored
adjective fed up, tired, hacked (off) (U.S. slang), wearied, weary, pissed off (taboo slang), uninterested, sick and tired (informal), listless, browned-off (informal), brassed off (Brit. slang), ennuied I am getting very bored with this entire business.
en·nui  (ŏn-wē′, ŏn′wē)
n.
Listlessness and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest; boredom
Definitely there.
ENNUI

Not accustomed to being told what I can and cannot do, I protest. Yes, I am an introvert. Lately, I am missing the few groups I do interact with. Journey Together In Stitches = JTIS = Crochet and knit group that meets at Convent of the Transfiguration on a monthly basis. Tuesday night prayer group at The Crossing. We pray on behalf of the Leadership, Missionaries, Ministry teams and leaders, events (all suspended for now). Currently we are meeting via Zoom and praying separately. Monday night small group is also meeting via Zoom. I find Zoom less than satisfactory, but beats not seeing each other at all. And then there is church. Our congregation had a Thursday service and two on Sunday. Now we have one on YouTube with worship team and Pastor. It too is better than nothing, but even I am tired of it.

This introvert needs to mix and mingle.

Is anyone else out there tired of this isolation? It seems that for senior citizens like me this could go on for a long. long time. They are saying life as we knew it (read “as we took it for granted”) may never return. Our theater tickets are canceled. Our trip to the North Georgia mountains to seek wildflowers is canceled. Unlikely we will get to go to the beach with Grandgirls and their parents this year. Our oldest Grangirl has her graduation postponed until sometime in August, possibly held on football field. That is risky if you know weather in Southern Ohio in August!

So Bob just went for a drive by himself. Wonder if this is what he is doing in his car right now??

Let’s try this method!

Posted on in Cooking, Humor

Grrr

We have a van that drives through our neighborhood once a week. They throw out a pink plastic bag with advertisements from the local grocery stores. When they used to be late, or not come at all, I would get aggravated. I base some of my cooking and shopping by what is on sale at different times.

Now that we are restricted from doing our own grocery shopping, that van throws the ads in our drive and I just growl. Grrr. Only one local store offers shopping where they get the items, bag, total, charge them to my credit card and bring them to my trunk. Touch-less shopping. So NO, I do not want to read the ads. I had not realized how much shopping I do from memory while in a store. I see an item on the shelf and think, “Oh, yes. We are almost out of that.”

One week the touch-less store was out of my low carb yogurt. It is pretty much a staple in my diet. This week, no carrots. What? Who runs out of carrots? And mark down items? I told Bob I could not stock up on Peeps Marshmallow chickens and rabbits for him this year. I usually buy them in the markdown sale after Easter and store them in the basement. Then I ration them out throughout the year. I will say that this year when I went to make Ambrosia salad for Easter scrumptiousness and we did not have enough mini marshmallows I chopped up a yellow peep or two from last year!

It is likely many more weeks before I can go to the grocery for myself. Even then I will be wearing a mask, gloves, and who knows what else? I am trying to remain GRATEFUL. Can you imagine this pandemic 10 years ago without internet and touch-less grocery shopping?

So if they throw ads in your driveway, please pray for me to be patient and remain cheerful. I don’t care right now who has the best price on Cheerios. Would just like to fill my own basket.

-Grumpy Old Woman

Posted on in Humor, Just do it, Social Distancing

The Masks

So Dr. Acton of Ohio tells us we should expect to wear a mask here for at least a year. Wow. I understand the cloth mask does not keep me from getting Coronavirus or Covid-19 or whatever you choose to call it. It does keep others from getting ill if I am shedding the virus. It does keep me from touching my face, especially eyes, nose and mouth where contamination is most likely to enter my body. In Ohio Dr. Acton has taught us to call that the T-Zone. The first ones I made were flannel. Oh my! Too hot for me. Grandgirl #2 pointed out they would be good in winter when your nose gets cold on a walk!

I ordered some cotton fabric for curbside pick up as most of my fabric scraps were ideal for women, but not so much for guys! So now I own stars and stripes, solid red and solid brown. I make them with a piece of wire (pipe cleaner) sewn into the seam above the nose. There is also a pocket to put a coffee filter cut to size or a piece of paper towel to help filter things out. Now I’ve learned putting some light interfacing into the mask also makes it less permeable.

Elastic in 1/8″ size is hard to come all by. They are all sold out of the elastic at the local fabric stores. A theater supply place did fill an order for me for 30 yards. I ordered that much thinking I would have plenty left over. I use about 16″ per mask. Now I am thinking, maybe not enough! Now to just keep cutting, sewing, pressing and distributing!

Once people find out I make masks, it is sort of like the nylon scrubbers I used to make for my mother-in-law … they ask for some. “Oh, and so-and-so needs one, too.” So I am making masks. I think when I get the ones on my sewing table finished I will take a break and get back to some of my other projects for a week or two.

Until then, I am learning the pluses and minuses of Roku TV while I sew in the basement. MINUS – cannot record and fast forward through commercials! Cannot put sound through the speakers we have down there. Speakers were nice to project sound over hot water heater, washing machine and dryer. Pluses, can tune in online accounts like Pandora, Amazon music, and some movie channels with my older TV!

Bob needed to get something out of the safety deposit box at the bank. He left home wondering if they would let him in with a mask on! The bank door has had a sign about not wearing sunglasses, hoodies or hats. The manager met him at the door for his appointment and said yes, only under these circumstances was his mask allowed. Whew!!

And so, wash your hands and wear your mask! Throw away the liner after one use. Change the mask daily. Launder in the washing machine and if you want throw it into the dryer. Repeat. The masks I am making now are cotton and come out of dryer all wrinkly. I just reposition the folds and hit them with a hot iron. Presto! Good as new! A nurse friend told me to keep a stack by the door. Okay. Got it. After this batch I will eventually be back at it. Dare I say, let me know if you need one?? and please be patient while I fill the requests! Blessings!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Humor, Marriage and Memories, Nature

Hike #2

So the bluebells gave way to more and more climbing up out of the valley we had dropped into. On a huge boulder we found Miterwort, below.

The flowers are 1/6 inch wide!

At one point walking back we were feeling lost. How long has it been since you took a walk and suddenly, as an adult, (not with dementia) had no idea where you were? You see, we had not brought Bob’s backpack with the compass. Had never been to this preserve. At one point, when I knew Bob was feeling some of the anxiety I was experiencing, I quoted to him “We’re goin’ on a bear hunt, we’re gonna catch a big one! We’re not scared…”

Path was only a narrow area of crushed leaves. But we were totally unfamiliar with it. And in many ways, it was exhilarating to have this much fun, all alone in the woods. Oh. Had we told anyone exactly WHERE we were going?

We took turns walking in the lead. Bob walks a little faster than I do. At one point he was almost out of sight. I knew all I had to do was call to him, but it brought some adrenaline to my system to not be able to see or hear him! Then we were out of the area where the wildflowers flourished. Just downed trees and leaves. Brown leaves, dirt and twigs, occasional rock.

We pushed on. We thought we saw the tree where the trail split. Five minutes later knew, it was not THAT tree. Finally, finally, spent with exertion we were at the place where the trail had split. So grateful for that walking stick. It helped me push up through the trail and helped we navigate my way down in some places.

At the end the Fitbit registered 41 flights of stairs. That is equal to climbing the Carew Tower overlooking downtown Cincinnati! We laughed wondering if either one of us would be able to walk the next day.

Turned out we were able to walk the next day. Chose not to take any long walks and a very long nap! Such fun to have the photos, the memory and an exit from the pandemic fears for a couple of hours.

On the way home we saw a Creamy Whip stand open for business. There was not a line of people, so we stopped. I put on my cloth mask and took some cash. There was a man in the truck next to us. I asked if he had placed his order yet. (I did not want to upset whatever the protocol was there.) He said yes, he was waiting for his order to be prepared. Then I realized there were several cars with people waiting. This placed served foods as well as ice cream. The people in line moved to one side. Oh! there were people on the other side of the building at picnic tables.

I placed our order for two cones. Paid, was given the cones and climbed into the car, shedding mask and getting hand sanitizer. Back to the reality of Corona virus.

Enjoyed our yummy cones and felt not one pang of guilt after that arduous climb! Drove home in peace. Looked forward to seeing how our photos came out. Maybe one day soon I will just post Bob’s photos!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Humor, Just do it, Nature

Neighborhood

For me serendipity is just like snatching rubies out of thin air. Serendipity: “the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident.”

I was out walking and overheard two little girls playing in a yard.

“Where are you, Susie?”

“I’m over here at my favorite tree,” she replied, standing at the base of a pink magnolia in bloom. “I am sad. This is my favorite tree. I come here when I am sad.” There was a pause with no response from the other child. Then in a lilting voice Susie answered, “Do you want to see me climb my favorite tree?”

Can we become childlike during this pandemic? Recognize our sad feelings, but then go on to delight in the life we own at this moment? It has long been said that the waiting is the hardest part. Give me something definitive and I will find a way to cope. Leave me without a decision and I flounder and flop around. Perspective of that child? I am sad, but there is a tree right in front of me waiting to be climbed.

“Do you want to see me climb my favorite tree?”

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child, whom he put among them, and said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.

Matthew 18:1-5 NRSV

Come, Lord, help me climb this tree! Help me to humble myself and change. Help me become like a child.

Help me to be less fearful of the measure of time, and more fully alive in the time that simply is. Help me to live time, not just to simply use it; to breathe it in, and return it in acts of love and presence.

Avis Crowe

We were advised that in this worldwide crisis we would experience the famous stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Allow yourself to feel those emotions as they arise, then release them and let them go. They may overlap. You will go in and out of those various feelings.

Always look for your favorite tree. Climb it and be restored.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Faith, Humor, Nature

Suspense over Bunny

Here is where he chose to hide from the rain. I did not dare peek yesterday to see if Momma Bunny had returned for him. This afternoon I decided to look as we are forecast to heavy rains tonight. If she had not returned from him I was fully ready to call an Elder at our church, Lowell, who has pet rabbits at his house. I could house him in a shoe box and take him for a ride to safety away from cats and other critters.

 Are any among you sick? They should call for the elders of the church and have them pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord.

James 5:14 NRSV

Okay, that is a stretch! But Lowell might have bunny bottles and be willing to have his kids care for a Bunny?

So, I carefully pulled back the nesting material and had my phone ready ….

NO BUNNY! Yes! Momma came back to get him and neatly covered his hiding place.

Whew! What an adventure, in deed!! And I do thank the Lord that I did not harm them when I disturbed them. If she returns next year I will try harder to curb my enthusiasm!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Humor, Nature, Special Event

The Easter Rabbit

When I was about 8 or 9, maybe younger, we lived in a four family apartment complex. In the yard next door there was a shrubbery hedge that encircled part of their square of grass. I woke up on Easter morning and knew I was not to awake the rest of the family. I went to the living room to see what the world was up to. The sun was out. and then I saw it! A brown cottontail under the shrubs.

I could not help myself. In my excitement I began hollering, “He came! He came!” My mother came out to see what all the commotion was about. I assured her the Easter Bunny had come because I just saw him right outside our window!

This week I have been loving our flower beds with the cheer they bring me in the midst of the panic and chaos of pandemic. I have picked and delivered multiple bouquets to neighbors and even my sister. I did notice that I need to get out there and spruce up the front flower bed from the dead leaves of last winter and general chickweed, etc. A clump of Hyacinths near the front door were especially packed with dead grass.

Today I looked and thought, “That is unnatural to have that much dead grass around the hyacinths.” Taking a break from writing I decided to move it away so the bulbs could flourish. As I reached down I realized I should probably use my handy table knife that I keep there for cleaning off shoes, just in case some mouse or unsavory had decided to move in. So I grabbed the knife and began to lift and move the grass. Noticed fur and WHAM!! there were little tiny eyes and ears. Nope, not mice! Baby bunnies!! I hurried put the grass back in place.

Little Rabbit Foo-foo began going through my head! 

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin' 'em on the head

Well, instead of a mean bunny, we have a mommy rabbit out there some place with babies in our front bed! I recently placed dryer lint around the tulip leaves to try to deter the rabbits or deer who decimate the tulips every year. Maybe I should let her eat them?

Bob says if the sun comes out tomorrow we will lift the grass and try to snap a photo if they are still there. For now enjoy this incubator!

Posted on in Humor

Here is One to Make You Laugh!

When I walk our street I pass this house. They have dogs and cats. Often this upstairs window is left open for the cats to use the tiny portion of roof to sunbathe.

See the open window with no screen? Well, humans are not the only bored ones. Walking by recently I heard barking coming from a level above the yard. Lo and behold! There was a German Shepherd with it’s head out the window, (opened higher than this photo but not high enough for it to sunbathe).

Our conversation went something like, Me: “What?!? You are not a cat!” Dog: “Well, I am still greeting you!” Me: “Yes, I hear you, but you are still NOT a cat!” Dog: “Well, she let me scan the world from this angle! And I am allowed to speak.”

I laughed and laughed at the silly dog as I continued to rack up steps on my step counter. Silly dog! It is still not a cat!! It did make me laugh out loud, especially when it’s ear flipped going under the screen!

Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Humor, Spiritual growth

January 1995

We went on a trip to Cozumel, Mexico for our 25th anniversary. Our favorite restaurant was Palmeras. It was quite peculiar to use the ladies bathroom and find a maid-type person in there. She was passing out 4 squares of toilet paper. Guess they were on to the fact that Americans and tourists in general use up lots of toilet paper! There might have been other reasons, too, like possibly a septic tank?

Regardless, have you found yourself more conscious these days of how much toilet paper you use? There are even bakeries getting into the humor of toilet paper hoarding and shortages.

Isn’t it amazing the things we have taken for granted that are now in our consciousness more than they were 4 weeks ago? Are you able to find some humor in this? Have you started using bar soap as much as possible and conserving your hand sanitizer? Have you researched the homemade hand sanitizer recipes and tried that out? My Daughter and Grandgirl made some great sanitizer. I pray for them every single time I use it.

Neighbors? One keeps sending us smoked meat and soup, cookies and pulled pork. I have promised to send them some deviled eggs. They even tried baking bread. Yeast breads are one of Bob’s favorite things to create.

My debate this morning was whether to write a few blog entries or try my hand at sewing cotton masks first. I will get to that sewing hopefully after writing. You see Monday and Tuesday mornings have been my writing time. The schedule has been broken up badly what with toe surgery, (and then no foot hanging down for weeks), Bob’s knee surgery, and now this chaotic pandemic. But I have also been convicted that this is something I can do to cheer a few during this fearful time.

So if you aren’t busy today, you might want to try those TP cupcakes! Send me a photo if you get them accomplished. Until then, find SOMETHING to smile about. Ann Voskamp wrote in “1,000 Gifts” that if we look for things to be thankful for we will keep finding more. Research has shown that if you WRITE DOWN three things every day that you are grateful for the exercise can change your mental attitude. And no, you may not repeat the same three items day after day.

So count out your squares of toilet paper to conserve it. Tip the maid in the bathroom. Make the most of this time for reflection, drawing closer to God. Who knows? This may all change your life for the good!

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Family, Humor, Marriage and Memories, Poetry

Tennessee and Decades Later

In 1975 we were expecting our first child. The photo below is from our first vacation to the Smoky Mountains. In 1982 we were learning about the Full Armor of God (Ephesians 6) and starting to teach Bible study together at our local church.

I Loved You in That Creek Bed © 1982 Molly Lin Dutina

Oh I loved you in that creek bed
Full of gallantry and suave
My flashing debonair knight.

You didn’t even know
What holy armor was then.
And now my love for you
Far surpasses and encompasses
The emotions at that creek bed.

Father, show us how to flow together
To the glory of Your name.
You split the rocks with
A blade of grass and
A finger of ice.

Split our shells that we might
Merge in Your kingdom work.
1978 Before Kids

Now in 2020, our children are adults with children of their own. We are still learning more about how to walk together in the Spirit. As we celebrate our 50th year of being married by knight continues to court me, woo and win me with his humor and grace.

I love you more than ever, Robert Dutina!