Category: Humor

Pour out

Posted on in Humor, Memories, Special Event

Weird Thoughts Again

So we drove past a woman and man setting up their harvest decorations in front of their house. Now tell me if you think this is strange? Maybe it is just me, but the Wizard of Oz confirmed, for those of us brought up in the city, that a scarecrow is stuffed with straw. The craft stores for the past decade or so have sold ready made scarecrows stuffed with pretend straw, but they hope it will look like straw to you.

How weird is it that an item built from human looking clothing and filled with straw is then seated upon a bale of straw? Isn’t that like go to the morgue and get a bunch of organs, pile them up and then have your photo taken while sitting upon them? We are such a weird society.

I love candy, but halloween is just weird overall.

Once I was invited as a room mother to attend the halloween march in costume where the kids paraded through the elementary school. When I got there all the other room mothers were dressed as witches. I was dressed as the Holy Ghost, complete with a white sheet, white face, white keds and wooden cross around my neck. As we went room to room I invited the kids to touch the least scary ghost EVER and told them about my role in God’s plan. Needless to say, I was called the following week by the principal. I almost asked if she called the witches representing everything reprehensible to my faith. I was encouraged when we went in one room and the teacher had donated New Testaments to the kids. They were proudly displayed on their desks. Wonder if that is even allowed these 36 years later?

Posted on in Humor, Traveling

Travel Humor

When we travel I find things that amuse me. Here are a few from our recent trip to the Northeast.

There was a sign for “Maple Springs.” Gosh! I thought, they must not just tap sugar maple trees! They actually have a place where it comes out of the ground from a spring.

In Boston they do not have manhole covers, but “raised casting ahead.” I had to watch to see what it actually referred to. I guess in this day and age the sign at home would be reworded “Worker hole cover ahead.”

On Peter Pan bus line do they sing “I gotta crow” and serve peanut butter?

See the source image

Peter Pan

And they must kill lots of pigs though I saw not one pig farm up there. Everything is this ham and that ham. Chatham, Eastham, Hingham, Dedham, Waltham, Framingham and last but not least wearing pig skins at Wareham!

At home the engineers are installing “Roundabouts” to replace intersections. In New England they are called rotaries. Go figure.

I learned that “Plows use caution” means there is a bridge overpass coming up on the road.

How about this one? Took me a long time and Bob’s help to figure it out!

Refers to dump trucks in construction area. Who knew? Not me! Actually the sign we blew past on the freeway in Massachusetts only said “Body down” and had me totally stumped!

Keep being amused! Lightens life’s loads!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Humor

Dog Games

I do not remember playing Jenga, though I might have once or twice. Saw this video and thought you might want a review of the rules.

Obviously the human had to do this part! “A classic Jenga game consists of 54 precision-crafted, specially finished hard wood blocks. To set up the game, use the included loading tray to create the initial tower. Stack all the blocks in levels of three placed next to each other along their long sides and at a right angle to the previous level. Once the tower is built, the person who stacked the tower plays first.”

Then the dog goes into action!

Moving in the game Jenga consists of taking one block on a turn from any level of the tower (except the one below an incomplete top level), placing it on the topmost level in order to complete it.

Players may use only one hand at a time; either hand may be used, but only one hand may touch the tower at any time. Players may tap a block to find a loose one. Any blocks moved but not played should be replaced, unless doing so would make the tower fall. The turn ends when the next player touches the tower, or after ten seconds, whichever occurs first. The game ends when the tower falls — completely or if any block falls from the tower (other than the block a player moves on a turn).

Posted on in Humor, Traveling

French and Chinese

When my husband took me to Paris I went alone into a linen shop to try to buy us some washcloths while Bob went to a different shop. I could not make the men in there understand what I was shopping for. I had extremely limited French in my memory bank. Finally my husband joined me in the shop. He explained to them in his many years of French lessons what we needed. He has laughed every since at my pantomimes in that shop. When we checked into our accommodations, the desk clerk tried his best every morning to get me to greet him with Bonjour! or other phrases. From the time I exited the shop, I was French language numb (and dumb). Could not pull out a single expression I might have known. Using public transportation I realized I could not determine what they were advertising AT ALL. I just shut down.

Now I am learning the Chinese game Mahjong online. I saw women playing it in a Satellite Coffee shop in Albuquerque, New Mexico. When I recently got bored with Scrabble I decided to try it for free. Turns out it is a matching game.

The challenge in my mind comes in trying to name the tiles I am matching. My mother used to use La Choy chinese canned foods and we especially liked the fried noodles. So I call one tile green noodles!

Do you remember these?

Then there are red noodle piles with what I call Running man, North, South, East, and West. There are tiles like dominoes only marked with six logs, or dots or dashes. Even six logs bent in their stacks. The same with two, three, etc. One game has owls. The one on my iPad looks like peacocks or phoenix.

There is a banner with an arrow. An arrangement of circles with crank handle up or crank handle down. Season and flower symbols. I am probably not even close to their original meaning, but hey! a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

I have no idea how the women gathered in that coffee shop were playing it. The online version has the tiles in differing patterns and layers. Fun game! and the levels are challenging. Give it a try.

Perhaps I ought to write to that hotel manager/desk clerk and let him know my made up language for Chinese! Nawh, probably not!

Merci!

Posted on in Humor

Some Things Strike Me As Amusing

I watched a man at the ATM. He got an ATM slip but walked away with no cash. A few moments later when he entered the bank I noticed his shirt said “Denier.”

In the city of Columbus, Ohio there are no U turns allowed. My husband loves making U turns! He was not enjoying driving there. And then I saw a sign that said “Traffic Calming Ahead.” Well, that was just what we needed right then!

Turns it out that message actually means driver should be aware of a “change in the ‘geometry’ in the road surface.” What? I never did understand geometry!!

I read some place that you should explore FTD before age 60? What?? My mother worked for years in a flower shop and FTD stood for Florists’ Transworld Delivery. Now FTD is better recognized as ” Short for frontotemporal degeneration, FTD is the most common form of dementia for people under age 60 (young onset). FTD is frequently misdiagnosed as Alzheimer’s, depression, Parkinson’s disease, or a psychiatric condition.” A far cry from roses!

One more bank story. My husband likes to count out brand new dollar bills that are in sequential order into the hand of a grandchild celebrating a birthday. He also likes to make a money roll of singles for each grandchild as a Christmas gift. Lately he has had difficulty getting the bank to sell him a new stack of dollars, even at the larger downtown location. His bank now has a fancy ATM that will dispense your cash in whatever denomination equals your available cash as requested. In order words if you ask for $37.00 you can request one $20, two $5s and seven $1s. He began noticing that the $1s that were dispensed were mostly spanking new and in sequential order! Oh what a happy man he was that day! Guess how many stops we will be making at the ATM close to the CHristmas holiday?!

Posted on in Humor, Traveling

Amused in Old Town

Fort Collins has a neat district called Old Town. Found these two sculptures there that made me laugh out loud. So descriptive of some of my friends and I. Instead of making lemonade, “You Might As Well Dance!”

Only wish I had taken a photo from the other side where her petticoats showed! ;-D

And if in Old Town for lunch you might as well have a cold one, too! Mine was the stout, in more ways than one!

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Humor, Traveling

Itinerary – Days 1 & 2

Cincinnati through Louisville to St. Louis. Day #1, 358 miles. We saw the flooded Mississippi and ate toasted ravioli at award winning Zia’s on the Hill.

That day we also saw an eagle in flight and my favorite, the great blue heron!

This is above the St. Louis walkway along the river. The wind and waves were such that the top steps were under water and waves kept splashing up when boats went past.

I kept applying what I saw to myself. Flooding puts river banks and pastures under water. Some say this refreshes the land like no other phenomenon, dropping fresh silt on the soil. Flood me Lord with Your Living Water and Presence in my everyday moments. Open my ears so that when You speak, I will hear You clearly and move towards obedience.

Day #2 St. Louis to Topeka to Kansas City, Missouri, 309 some miles. We stopped in Kansas City Kansas to look around and stumbled upon graffiti artists. Here is a local diva having her photo taken before their art.

Bar-B-Que lunch at Mr. Gates. The after church crowd joined us. I had fun watching and older gentleman watch me make a mess with barbecue sauce all over my face. He was waiting for his family to place their orders and bring his food. They were all dressed to the nines! When I finished they had just placed his tray in front of him. I teased him that it was my turn to watch him eat and not make a mess. Turns out he was blind in one eye and in his nineties. He was a retired preacher and song leader, sort of retired. His son was now in the pulpit. All his sons were preachers. We talked about how important it is to try to inspire the younger ones. I left him to enjoy his lunch with blessings upon the rest of his day and silently upon his life and legacy.

The Bar-B-Que was delicious going down and gave me fits all night! What a way to go though ;-D.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Humor, Nature, Traveling

March 18

Oh my I keep getting blessed every time I go outside! Now this is one DETERMINED daffodil. Let no obstacle stand in your way!

So glad the log had holes in it!

And Ta-dah!! The first trout lily on our stone stairs up the hill.

Flower is about the size of a quarter. The leaves resemble trout skin!

When we were thinking about buying this house both my husband and I were each making secret trips here to see if it really was as lovely as we thought. When the trout lilies began to bloom on the hillside, (all wild mind you), I was SOLD! Had never seen them before . Since then each spring we have hosted Jack-in-the-Pulpit, Trillium, Toothwort, May Apples, Spring Beauty, Rue Anemone, Blue Phlox, False Solomon’s Seal and most rare on our lot Dwarf Larkspur. Still am amazed that we live here! -sigh-

Further into the green space we can see Squirrel Corn and Dutchmen’s Britches, Betony Poppies. Sometimes my husband asks why we even go to Smoky Mountains to hunt wild flowers. I stomp my foot (kidding) and remind him we do not have Lady’s Slippers or fields of single wildflowers. And then we pack 🙂

Posted on in Humor, Traveling

Fish & Chips with What??

Traveling recently Bob saw a sign for English Style Fish & Chips. Decided we would go there later that day for lunch. Imagine my surprise when we went to order. Along with the typical choice of how many pieces of fish with those chips the menu offered wonton soup, crispy tofu and potstickers. Typical English Fish & Chips? I don’t think so!

Their on-line presence says: “101 Fish & Chips is a family-owned restaurant has been serving up this British Pub favorite in the tri-city area for over thirty (30) years. They use only the finest ingredients, freshest produce and seafood to provide their customers with the highest quality in flavor.”

Oh, I forgot to mention they also sell Beef Lumpia. I do not even know what that is! The fish was lightly battered and the chips were great.