Category: Challenge

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Journal, Just do it, Memories, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Isaiah 30:15 Life Verse

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:

In returning and rest you shall be saved;

    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.

But you refused

Isaiah 30:15NRSV

Isaiah 30:15 ends with “But you refused” or “But you would not.” I want to perform the beginning of the verse, what the Baptists would call my life verse.  “In returning and rest you are saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength.” I choose to make the last phrase ‘but you would not’ untrue of me. That requires discipline again and again for me to return and rest in God.

Difficult to keep in my mind when I do things like jump out of my meditation and prayer chair to dry off the dog and find superfine gravel dirt all over the front hall and Bob’s bathroom floor from soles of our boots worn to the Nature Center the day before! Here I am back at it. “In returning and rest I am saved.”

We tried to be careful with those dirty soles. Perhaps it is a lesson regarding my dirty soul. Not undue self-castigation here. I so easily depart my knowledge of the Lord. I could have seen that dry off and cleanup event as a way to stay quiet, still, trusting and resting in God: grateful I have a dog in our family, grateful for ability to walk in the Nature Center, resting in the fact that eventually I will be returned to dust yet He will reign forever and ever.

In returning and rest I am saved; in quietness and trust is my strength. I can see that some growth has occurred over the years. I was not angry while cleaning up. In past years I likely would have been. I did, however, return to my prayer chair and ask myself, “Now where was I?” Oh for the day I can carry my prayer chair meditations and practice to the other rooms without flinching or forgetting!

I suppose that is why the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel said “IN RETURNING.” The omnipotent Holy One knew I would be returning. Lord help me always to return and rest in Your tender help and care. Dissuade my tendency to not return with Your power and indwelling Holy Spirit.

My salvation is in returning. My salvation is in resting. My strength is in quietness and trust. So there I have it. When I am feeling not strong, I must go back to quietness and trust in God. There is great wisdom in the concept that when you do not know what to do next, return to the last thing the Lord told you. We are so easily distracted! Like Dug the dog in the movie “Up!” who said “Squirrel!”

I have been working with this verse for many years. Be encouraged by that and know that you, too, can be changed by practicing the Word. Even if that means as the Benedictines say, “Always, we begin again.”

The wind is blowing the wind chimes into constant song. The snow is falling and at times pouring off the roof. The roof line is almost indistinguishable from the sky right now. The candle flickers and I pray you are encouraged to go to God and be with Him. Please do not be the ones “Who would not.”

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Austin City Limits

My husband loves to record the show ACL and then watch at our leisure. He often discovers new-to-him musical talent that way. Recently they featured Jackson Browne. We knew him from years ago (think 1978) but had lost touch with his talent. When he sang “Doctor My Eyes” I was reminded of my early walk with Jesus and the pain of seeing others who were suffering. The lyrics are as follows. I have added an almost 5 minute video if you want to hear the song again.

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years 
and the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long?

'Cause I have wandered through this world
As each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken form these dreams

People go just where they will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That it's later than it seems

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see,
I hear their cries
Just say if it's too late for me

Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry?

Trust me, by 1978 I had learned plenty about crying. I also had learned that the Lord does hear our cries. Browne sings “I have done all that I could to see the evil from the good without hiding, you must help me if you can.” And the Word says He wants us to grow up and learn this discernment.

But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Hebrews 5:14 NIV

He does not give us everything we want. He so often provides just exactly what we need. It was interesting to revisit the feelings evoked by His song and realize how much better I understand the Lord now than I did at the time I first listened to Jackson Browne. God is moved with compassion and He will help us.

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

Psalm 145:8 NIV

I have been reading a book entitled Night Bird Calling by Cathy Gohlke. This conversation was between a young woman being manipulated by an abusive father and abusive husband who said their doings were the will of God. She is talking with an older, wiser, truly Christian woman.

“Then you’ve only known people who take the name of the Lord in vain.” That caught me short. “Jesus called Jews of every social rank. He called women and children and people from Samaria and tax collectors and prostitutes and the down-and-out to Himself. He called unlearned fishermen for the greatest work in the history of the world. He called the humble and the penitent and those who were smart enough to recognize their need of a Savior and to see that need fulfilled in Him. Those people followed Him, surrendered their all to Him, and obeyed His commands. They are the ones who deserve the name ‘Christian’—Christ followers. Anything less, anything Pharisaic and legalistic and arrogant, takes His name in vain. Velma reminds me of the elder brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son—totally unaware that her position in the community was given her.” “Are you saying Velma Richards is not a Christian?” I was astonished by Aunt Hyacinth’s lengthy tirade and perversely thrilled with her defiance. Aunt Hyacinth chuckled. “Well, not to her face.” She grew serious just as quickly. “But I’m saying that you need to recognize the difference between what people claim to be and what they are, and take that into account when you make your decision.”

Night Bird Calling by Cathy Gohlke

Recognize the difference – SEE – the difference between pretense and reality.

Doctor Jesus, we need Your healing for our eyes. We need Your wisdom for our lives. Awaken us from the dream of thinking we know and understand others at a depth. Help us to see as You see and know as You know. Amen.

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Challenge, Covid 19, Faith, Family, Journal, medical treatment, Memories, Nature, Prayer, Spiritual growth, Yield

How Roots Grow

The photo at the top is the Juniper tree at Live Oak Park, Berkeley, California. That is the place where Bob and I said our marriage vows over 51 years ago.

My Robert waiting under the Juniper tree with our families for me to wed him. Episcopal priest behind him.

Decades went by. I gave my heart back to Christ in 1976. He gave his life to Christ not too long after that. We worked and worked on our marriage over the years. We have always said, “Divorce is not an option. Murder maybe, but not divorce!”

Fast forward from 1970 to December 2017. We both got the flu. Within 24 hours his became life threatening pneumonia with organ shut-down sepsis. Got him to an ER. He was placed on a ventilator and rushed to a different hospital. Within two days my cough began to break up and I was by his side.

The passage from Ephesians 3 helped me as I walk through the terror of possibly losing him forever.

In 2018 I wrote: “Part of my struggle was yielding to the facts and in stillness letting my wishes die, placing my hope in the plans of the Almighty. I could not see the outcome at all, but I trusted His goodness and His love for both myself and my family. I learned that crucified you must hold perfectly still. EPH 3:16 helped me to trust more. “I pray that, according to the riches of His glory, He may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through His Spirit, and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love.” I prayed for Bob and our children to be strengthened. I prayed for myself to be strengthened by His Spirit with power penetrating to my innermost being. Yes, crucified you must hold perfectly still. I was not “going” anywhere.”

Have my roots grown since then? I learned so much through that awful experience. Yes, my husband is alive and kicking now. His health has returned. We are going through the Covid crisis with everyone else in the world. We are perhaps more careful than other Americans, having almost lost him four years ago.

My roots? Well I am certainly aware that Bob and I will not last into eternity. Only my relationship with Christ will go that far. We do hope to see each other in the afterlife, but we both understand that relationships there are much different than here.

“Strengthened in your innermost being with power through His Spirit and that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith….” I would not want to lose my husband to Covid or in any other way, but I feel as if I would not be devastated as I might have been in 2018. Having lived through the almost-death and brutal recovery after his illness, I can honestly say that the Lord sustained us and taught us both many things about His love and power.

“Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, AS you are being rooted and grounded in love.” God’s love is beyond my words. He holds, sustains and directs me with His love. When I resist His leading, He disarms me with His love. He indwells me by with power by His Spirit and it is a process to be rooted and grounded in love. An ongoing to the day I die sort of process.

I love this video. It shows what I cannot see below the surface of the soil. It shows the growth in split screen above and below and then goes on to show the up-close root process. How are your roots growing?

Can you imagine yourself being rooted and grounded in love like this kidney bean? Like the Juniper tree in the photo above? Why not watch the video again and ask the Lord to strengthen you in your inner being with power through His Spirit. Ask Him to helped you be rooted and grounded in love. One person noted, “We need to ask for what we want.” Grow us Lord I pray, by Your Spirit and power, in Your time. Amen.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Spiritual growth, Yield

Hours of Lessons

My sister gave me a book entitled “Just One thing” by Rick Hanson, PhD, a neuropsychologist. If you are not an Amazon book buyer it is available through newharbinger.com. I have randomly read portions of it. It was published in 2011 and says all rights reserved, so perhaps I should only share portions? Not certain how to go about this legally.

I recently read the chapter called Be Glad one evening and then to an online group I try to meet with monthly. These women are advanced in their spirituality and self-care. Hanson presents some ideas for practice that helped us think of things we have overlooked.

He begins by talking about how our brains are wired since creation to be aware of negative things around us. He teaches how difficult it can be to stay positive in this negative brain soup (my term. ) He writes, “As a consequence, we pay a lot of attention to threats, losses, and mistreatment in our environment – and to our emotional reactions, such as worry, sadness, resentment, disappointment, and anger. We also focus on our own mistakes and flaws – and on the feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, and even self-hatred that get stirred up.”

But because of the negativity bias of the brain, most of us go way overboard.   Which is really unfair. It’s not fair to zero in on a bit of bad news and ignore or downplay all the good news around it.

Rick Hanson, PhD

I love that he called it “unfair!” So we need to work our way out of the bad news, negativity and emphasize the good news or “the bad news also primes us to be untrusting or cranky with others.” I am certain that none of my readers are ever cranky with others. Just ask my husband, Bob, to find out how often I can be cranky!

And as your growing gladness naturally lowers your stress, you’ll likely get physical health benefits as well, such as a stronger immune system.

Be Glad, Just One Thing, Hanson

Who doesn’t want a stronger immune system? Okay, you there, yes, you. You can stop reading now and keep your lousy immune system.

Reading this more than once and then typing out the entire selection this morning has given me hours of lessons to use. One blog in the near future will demonstrate how I was able to use this material almost immediately.

As we age and are unable to do things we used to take for granted I am praying that these lessons about “Be Glad” stay with me for future use and enjoyment of all the things I am still ABLE to do!

Hanson added

Sometime every day, before going to bed, name to yourself at least things you are glad about.

Rick Hanson, Just One Thing, Be Glad

My pastor says five things first thing in the morning, three at bedtime, the point being just DO IT. Teh Psalmist said to praise God seven times a day (Psalm 119:164) Paul tells us repeatedly to rejoice. Find reasons to rejoice in the Lord. ALWAYS. But do you?

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anythings is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.

Philippians 4:4-8 NIV

The following is an endorsement for the book.

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Journal, Just do it, medical treatment, Music, Prayer, Spiritual growth, Writing Life, Yield

Every Moment Holy Quote

I was in a situation the other day where acute and chronic pain were doing a dance. Frenetic tap dancing I would say since I do not truly understand tango – and tango seems to be a love dance. One area calls for attention and then acute throbs. First one recedes and another pops up. Like pinball pain, ding-ding-ding, someone hits the flipper and it catapults pain here there and everywhere. What to do when this occurs? First try to draw close to God as He soothes and even at times relieves the situation. I know from experience that trying to determine how I caused this is a futile waste of time and energy.

Realized I was agonizing over my situation while journaling and had failed to do my pastor’s challenge to FIRST THING every morning write 5 gratitudes. Oops, I entertained flesh over discipline there. So I stopped and began to write the five. Then with compassion admitted I do not feel well. Confessed it is hard to focus on the Lord and “Hard to focus on anything” when I get like this. Asked for guidance.

Turned to Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young on my iPad. “I want you to learn a new habit. Try saying “I trust You, Jesus,” in response to whatever happens to you.” It goes on to say I am to view events from the perspective of God’s universal and sovereign control, letting fear lose it’s grip. (See Jesus Calling, January 4).

Then I realized that warfare has been raging here for a couple days. (Why do I not recognize it as soon as it begins?) So I was careful to pray the armor of God and Blood of Jesus over me. I journaled, “The matrix of life spins and unfolds. I am held in Your hands. Centered in You nothing can touch me. Hide me in the shadow of Your wings.”

Show wondrously Your acts of loyal love,

O Savior of those who take refuge at Your right hand

from those who rise up against them.

Keep me as the apple of Your eye

hide me in the shadow of Your wings

from the presence of the wicked who destroy me,

those enemies against my life,

they that surround me.

Psalm 17:7-9

Then I turned to a new favorite gift that Dan sent me a few months ago. “Every Moment Holy”, Volume 1, A Liturgy for the Feeling of Infirmities.” Liturgy used with permission.

Art by Ned Bustard, also available for purchase at same site
"We were not made for mortality but for immortality;
our souls are ever in their prime,
and so the faltering of our physical bodies
repeatedly takes us by surprise.

"The aches, the frailties, the injuries, the
impositions of vexing disease and worsening
condition are unwelcome evidences of our
long exile from the Garden.

"Even so, may the inescapable decline
of our bodies here not be wasted.
May it do its tutoring work, inclining
our hearts and souls ever more vigorously
toward Your coming kingdom, O God.

"While we rightly pray for healing and relief
and sometimes receive the respite
of such blessings, give us also patience
for the enduring of whatever hardships
our journeys entail."

Five stanzas remain. You can purchase the entire liturgy for $1.00 from Rabbit Room at https://www.everymomentholy.com/liturgies#free. Scroll down the page to Individual Liturgies for Purchase, Liturgies for Sorrow and Lament. In drop down window “A Liturgy for” select Feelings of Infirmity. Place in cart. Pay one dollar.

How does this help? My attention and focus have now moved from helplessness at my dilemma to looking to Jesus. When the acute jumps for attention this day I can say, “I trust You, Jesus.” I am reminded that Scripture is still true.

Even to your old age and gray hairs

I am He, I am He who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you;

I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 46:4 NIV

And then this passage seems to respond as my heartfelt prayer.

Even when I am old and gray,

do not forsake me, my God,

till I declare Your power to the next generation,

Your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,

You who have done great things.

Who is like You, God?

Psalm 71:18-19 NIV

And I hear this song of worship that brings me to stillness.

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=xonYvhL12eM&feature=share
Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Journal, Just do it, Poetry, Prayer, Spiritual growth, Yield

WORDSWORTH Stumped me for a bit

I was hearing parts of this poem and it took me a while to get hold of it. FINALLY rediscovered it and want to share it with you. Wordsworth referred to newborn children, but I think he was short-sighted. I think we are all capable at any age of trailing clouds of glory, especially as we determine to spend more time with the Lord.

You may read the entire poem at https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45536/ode-intimations-of-immortality-from-recollections-of-early-childhood

One portion reads:

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
                      Hath had elsewhere its setting,
                         And cometh from afar:
                      Not in entire forgetfulness,
                      And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
                      From God, who is our home:
Heaven lies about us in our infancy!

How can we capture what Wordsworth says we lost as we aged?

For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed

2 Corinthians 4:5-9 NIV

God made His light shine in our hearts giving us the light of the Knowledge of His glory displayed in the face of Christ. We have this treasure of light in jars of clay. And the cracks in our clay pots is how the light gets out. We shine as Moses shined from being on the mountain if we spend time in God’s presence.

Trailing clouds of glory do we come, from God who is our home. In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17:29). He is our resting place (Psalm 62:5). He is our source of life. He is the light of life (John 1:4), the bread of life(John 6:48), the living water (John 4:13-14). The source of our being. He is always to have the glory of this light.

What is your plan for spending more time with God? You might be amazed if you take out 30 minutes of TV and spend it seeking Him. List some gratitudes daily. I mean every single day. Pour your heart out by journaling. If your hands hurt as mine often do, then type. If even that is too hard, open a word document and dictate your heart. The programs for dictation have improved greatly and you will not need to do very much correction when you are finished speaking.

My point is “Just do it.” Make a step to advance your own spiritual growth. Others need to see the clouds of glory that you are aware of. In order to have the courage to share, you need to put them in words at some point. Those almost ‘unsayable experiences’ that are yours need to be shared with others for their encouragement and edification.

Let God form your jar of clay in such a way that God’s all surpassing power flows forth from you to others. He will meet you in the process and you will not be disappointed.

Posted on in Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Thanks, Writing Life

Blank Canvas, Blank Page

For Christmas Bob bought me this from the Norman Rockwell collection. He had a heck of a time finding a frame to fit it. He did succeed though! It hangs on my office wall to the right of where I write.

We visited a Rockwell exhibit at the Dayton Art Museum. He knew this is how I often feel on Monday or Tuesday morning as I prepare to write this blog. Notice his palette on the floor! The handle of the paint brush in the white cracks me up. Such is the brain of the artist lost in creativity!

You might remember this favorite photo, too. I was fascinated with the palette from the Frank Duvenek exhibit at Cincinnati Art Museum. His likeness was reflected from nearby display. Bob enhanced the photo for me. The photo sits on the left at the desk where I write.

Photo by r m dutina

And prayer. Prayer goes into this blog. I want to write to enrich you, not just report what I do and where I go. I want to inspire you to reach greater spiritual depths with God. I still cling to the following quote from Rainer Marie Rilke.

Most experiences are unsayable. There are mysterious existences whose life endures beside our own small, transitory life.

Rainer Marie Rilke

I pray that I can draw you towards the depths of God. That somehow through my experiences and writing you will want to take a dip in the river of Living Water. Finding a way towards the center of your heart and soul you might want to live from the inside out, desiring a deep breath of life from the Giver of all life. Lead us, Lord, to those mysterious existences and help us to express them and experience them together.

I look forward to your comments throughout the year. I humbly thank you for reading my blog!

Posted on in Challenge, Faith, Journal, Just do it, Spiritual growth, Yield

Year Beginning

One friend challenges me every year with this idea. Ask the Lord to show you His word or idea for you in the coming year.

Last year I heard transform. Besides moving, which in itself was a huge transformation, I have seen myself transform and become more serious about blogging ideas of substance. Hopefully there has been success there?

This is one way to invite the Lord into your life. Are you brave enough to ask Him for His input? Are you willing to wait for His answer? Are you willing to remind yourself throughout the year, say quarterly, asking how you are growing towards the goal?

What will the word be for you this year? What will the word be for me? (Actually it kind of dropped into my mind this morning, so I might have already heard?)

As we turn the page on another year I pray you are looking forward to knowing the Lord and King of heaven better than ever before! He is waiting for your attention and presence with Him. He is always near us.

On the wall near my desk I have a sketch someone made of the Lord throwing back His head in laughter. I believe it was supposed to be in the rain. I also have a tiny photo of senior citizens throwing back their heads in laughter.

Can we join them this year and throw back our heads in laughter? Laughter that the Light of the World has shown in the darkness and the darkness cannot put it out .

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

John 1:1-5

Are you willing to ask for light upon your path this year?

Your word is a lamp for my feet,

    a light on my path.

Psalm 119:105

I believe we can all benefit from guidance and direction. I am not thinking of resolutions that will be broken long before February 14th. I mean a guiding word that can help you make good decisions regarding the use of your time and energy, your purpose and intentions.

Give it a try this year. I will pray the Lord will satisfy your hunger and thirst for His presence. Listen and I believe you will not be disappointed. 1 Samuel 3:1-10 tells about Samuel hearing the Lord’s voice. Eli helps him to identify that voice.

 The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, “Samuel! Samuel!”

Then Samuel said, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”

1 Samuel 3:10

Direction through a word, guiding you closer to living New Testament values, glorifying the Lord Jesus as you go forward. Speak,Lord, for Your servants are listening!