Category: Aging

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Music, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

YouTube

In 1970 when Judy Collins’ recording of Amazing Grace was on the radio my Mom was furious that it was being played in the bars. I asked her, “Where better, Mom?” My thinking was why not reach the lost in the bars? Give them hope that Jesus could touch them, too?

Now we can watch church on YouTube and sing along to almost every hymn ever recorded. The possibilities are limitless with the computer in our pocket that we call a telephone. I have access to the entire Bible in various versions, sermons from New York City, my local Pastor preaching, all on my iPhone.

Renaissance Church, New York City, Harlem

Whether it is a song from my childhood (“How Much is that Doggie in the Window?) or a lyric line like “More than you know,” yep, You Tube has it. I can even post my own videos of Lucky watching a doe and her fawn or monarch caterpillars devouring milkweed plants.

But the earth will be filled

    with the knowledge of the glory of the Lord,

    as the waters cover the sea.

Habakkuk 2:14 NRSV

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens.

    Let your glory be over all the earth.

Psalm 57:5and Psalm 108:5

Mom had no idea where things were headed. I must admit I did not either in 1970!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Matilda Taught Me So Much!!

Our church recently announced a program where older women will be given an intentional opportunity to mingle with younger women. I was stirred in my spirit to pursue that. I also was reminded almost instantly of Matilda Kipfer. I know! Not a name you are likely to forget! Matilda Kipfer influenced my life in many ways. I heard her as a speaker at a Cincinnati Women’s Aglow meeting years ago, probably 1984?

She always called herself an ordinary woman. She taught us ways to pray constantly. “When you wash the China, pray for China. When you vacuum the carpet pray asking the Glory of God to spread over the room. When you make a bed ask the Holy Spirit to touch the one who sleeps there.” No, she never mentioned Brother Lawrence, but she understood his concepts thoroughly.

I was amazed to realize she shared the same birthday as my mother, though my mother was 14 years older than Matilda!

She often lamented “I was forty-three years old before I knew that God was excited on the day of my birth.” Then she would get excited over the love and mercy of God rejoicing over us all. She was one of His best cheerleaders! I learned recently that she died January 6, 2021 at the age of 92. The world is not as bright a place with her loss. But you could go forward teaching and practicing your faith like she did!

Part of her obituary read: “Matilda was a devout Christian, actively serving in her local Mennonite Church. In the 1970’s Matilda became President of the Buffalo Chapter of Women’s Aglow, and eventually served as a board member of Women’s Aglow International. The world opened up to her and she traveled extensively, spreading the gospel, and teaching women to discover their destiny. She was a true pioneer for women in ministry. She had speaking engagements in every state in the US and every province in Canada at least twice. Her travels led her as far as China, Sri Lanka, Israel, Egypt, the Philippines and many countries in between.”

 Likewise, tell the older women to be reverent in behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.

Titus 2:3-5 NRSV

I must agree with the Lord in saying well done, good and faithful servant! You are missed.

She also wrote a book “Uniquely His, Love Matilda” which I just ordered from Abe Books. If you are interested you should try ordering it from Abe Books online.

With her extended family ( 14th child of 14), her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren Matilda experienced many things that we also wrestle with. She especially liked to teach about ‘having a bad attitude.’ Speaking of attitudes she would mimic a sheep saying “Baaa-d attitude.”

She would tell the women that if they were not willing to forgive every slight, hurt and disappointment quickly, then they were giving ground to develop a bad attitude. In contrast, having a good attitude, staying clean in your heart and mind before God, blessings from heaven would shower you and those around you. 2 Corinthians 10:5b says “We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

She prayed that letters would be filled with the Light of Christ. That the Holy Spirit would go before her in each meeting and encounter with others. When her son was leaning towards ways of the world she would pray over his bed. She asked God to come to him in dreams and show him the path of life. God did.

So this ordinary woman who never quoted Brother Lawrence knew how to practice the presence of God. She said that once she came to know the Holy Spirit she learned that God really does want us to to the New Testament teachings. Love one another (1 John 4:7-8)

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Choose life in every situation that develops in your realm. Over and over again choose life. If your husband is depressed, choose life and speak prayers for him choosing life. If your kids are rebellious, choose life. And focus on the life God wants to give them. Positive prayers can direct others towards positive paths. Not some magic hocus-pocus, but speaking life over them. Not focusing on what they are doing that you do not like, but placing the focus on what God calls them to do.

The gospel of Christ is simple and we complicate it many times over. Matilda knew a the simplicity of Christ. She taught those simple ways. That is not to say her life was easy. Certainly not. And our lives are not easy either! Knowing Christ is with us and can give us the words to pray through the Holy Spirit gives us confidence and courage. Pray with your spirit and your mind (1 Corinthians 14:15), Jesus is made unto us wisdom (1 Corinthians 1:30), and best of all …

And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

Romans 8:11

Obviously I could go on and on. I would ask that you try relating to God as Matilda did. She knew that left to herself she would never get it right. She cried out to God for wisdom and insights. If you cannot relate to Brother Lawrence form the 1600s, perhaps you can related to Matilda Jantzi Kipfer Feb. 7, 1928 – Jan. 6, 2021. She rests in peace in her reward from Christ. This woman declares, well done, good and faithful servant!

And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain! God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn—Zion! God in full view!

Psalm 84:5-7 The Message
Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Faith, Journal, Memories, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Traveling, Yield

2013 Flash of My Possible Future

From my Journal: 13-4-22 Woman at Porter’s Creek, Great Smoky Mountain National Park

Lady’s Slipper, Wild Orchid

On our hunt for Lady’s Slippers, I saw a woman at Porter’s Creek trail today with a walker that rolled and had a seat. At first sight, my thought was negative. Second thought was that her walk is HARDER than walking under my own pained power … but she was there to see the same sights as me.

Her progress was slow, but she was more cheerful than me when I stopped to speak with her. As we parted she asked the Lord’s blessing upon me. She posed the question, “Well, what else are we going to do?” We cope as best we can and go on with our lives.

Listen to me, O house of Jacob,

    all the remnant of the house of Israel,

who have been borne by me from your birth,

    carried from the womb;

even to your old age I am he,

    even when you turn gray I will carry you.

I have made, and I will bear;

    I will carry and will save.

Isaiah 46:3-4 NRSV

That was 2013. Today in 2022, I can still walk without a cane or walker, but the pain is stronger from the arthritis and fibromyalgia than previously. I am trying to move more. I do not stretch as much as I should. I have been given strong medication for when I have a flare and cannot bear it. I do not want that medication, but it is here if needed.

Praying I can be as cheerful today as she was as I get to walk the dog, see flower bulbs getting ready to bloom, wash windows! If living brings me a walker and limited mobility I want to be cheerful then, too!

So even to old age and gray hairs,

    O God, do not forsake me,

until I proclaim your might

    to all the generations to come.

Psalm 71:18 NRSV

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Journal, Just do it, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Yield

Lenten Discipline

Is it fasting from meat, fish on Fridays? What do you practice for the 40 days of Lent? Does it take 40 days or more to make a consistent behavior a habit? “Giving up” things in order to focus more upon Christ seems to have turned into a competition rather than a way of drawing closer to Christ.

Years ago Catherine Marshall presented an idea that I find challenges most everyone I speak to about it. How about this Lenten season fasting from criticism, gossip or thinking you always have to present your opinion? Yowl! that hits us all.

Recently I purchased a book entitled LENT with the Desert Fathers, by Thomas McKenzie. I was drawn up short on the Saturday after Ash Wednesday by this quote.

A disciple said to Abba Sisois, “I would love to be able to keep guard over my heart.” Sisois replied, “How can you keep guard over your hearts if your mouth is like an open door?”

Lent with the Desert Fathers

Well that nails it for me! I could write for days on that alone. From my journal: “Set a watch over the door of my mouth.  Help me be slow to speak, slow to anger, quick to listen. (James 1:19) And listen well.”

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Proverbs 4:23

We are admonished to guard our heart. Something we need to do; this will not be done for us. Sisois taught that if my mouth is like an open door there is no guarding happening. There is no discipline in place.

 If anyone thinks he is religious without controlling his tongue, his religion is useless and he deceives himself.

James 1:26 CSB

There is a jet flying east to west. At the moment the contrail is quite clear. Moments later the jet is out of sight but the contrail remains as a wavering white line against the blue sky. More moments and the exhaust from that jet is partially covered by clouds, yet what came out of that jet remains in the atmosphere. So it is with our words. The jet cannot take that contrail back. Our words once spoken are out there for eternity.

When the Psalmist prayed Psalm 141:3 asking the Lord to set a guard over the mouth, keep watch over the door of the lips I do not believe it means the Lord will do the watching and guarding for me. I do know the Holy Spirit is able to convict me when I speak in ways that displease the Lord. The Spirit is able to strengthen me to watch and guard so I do not continue to grieve the Trinity. I must yield to being sensitive and obedient to the leadings of the Spirit for that to happen; a moment to moment obedience. Willingness to walk and talk in obedience. Also willingness to not talk when called for.

Catherine Marshall attended a group luncheon frequently with family and co-workers. She was amazed how the conversation carried on even when she decided to not express her opinion. What she thought was so essential turned out to not be essential at all.

How about us? Are we sincere when we say “May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 Or more likely do we even stop to think before we speak? In Proverbs we are told that those who guard the mouth, lips, tongue preserve their lives, keep themselves from calamity. Those who speak rashly will come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3, 21:23). It is within our power to do this. If it proves difficult we can ask the Spirit for help.

The Book of Common prayer and other liturgies say “Lord, open my lips and my mouth will proclaim Your praise.” Oh I pray that is the only thing that will come out when we open our lips, His praise! May the force of Christ be with you this Lent and always. I will with God’s help!

Show me Holy Spirit, I haven’t got a clue when I offend You unless You tell me.
Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Journal, Poetry, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Remember Rooted and Grounded in Love?

Reading the poetry of Mary Oliver I found this concise stunning description of those roots …

except underfoot, moldering
in that black subterranean castle

Of unobservable mysteries – roots and sealed seed

And the wanderings of water

Mary Oliver Fall Song from her American Primitive Collection
“Black subterranean castle” I just love that!

That is why she won a Pulitzer Prize for poetry. Makes me not want to post my stuff. But I know each of us has talents and must be willing to share those!

I was recently challenged by lines on a TV series of all things! “Newsflash! Life isn’t fair.” “Try to DO something about it.” “You can’t win the fight unless you get back in the ring.” “We are the change we have been waiting for.”

The next morning, looking to the Lord, I composed this:

Hollow © 2022 Molly Lin Dutina

Chronic illness and pain
    Is a lonely place
The hollow of a tree trunk
    Never saw the hollow before
Though I’ve looked at the tree for 9 or 10 months

He keeps me
    In the hollow of His hand
His palm
    Never alone - with me always

Each day may be a new struggle
    The reward is in the shelter
Let myself be sheltered
    Yield to being held

When I cry out “O Lord”
    Do I mean I can’t take it or
O Lord be with me in it?

Sheltered by the Almighty
     Nothing quite a secure as that
Stay. Yield. Rest.
Isaiah 49:16
Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Just do it, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Yeah. No.

Is it yes or no? Pet peeve here. What is it with people who nod their head no while they speak yes. Just as bad to nod head yes while speaking no. Am I to believe the words or the body language? And when some say, ”Yeah. No.” I want to holler “WHICH ONE IS IT?!?!”

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.

Berman Study Bible Matthew 5:37

Granted, I understand this passage is about swearing, but can we also apply it to our everyday communication, please? The following is a quite clear communication.

If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

Hillel the Elder, first-century Jewish Scholar

Often those of us who are unhappy with life wind up asking “Why me?” Hillel would like to speak with those folks!

Watching The Chosen TV series one night the question popped into my consciousness. And then I pondered, “Why the crippled? Why the prostitute? Why the lepers? Why the sinners?” Before they met Jesus I think most of them realized they were not going to get what they wanted from life.

I am a more than a little tarnished by age. I have had a pretty wonderful life. The chronic pain plagues me more now than in the early years after diagnosis. So yes, at times I wonder “Why me?“

Without the chronic pain I would not have had so many avenues opened for me to share my faith. And then I remember that without these troubles I could never have related to all those I have prayed for who suffer.

If my Aunt Mary had not had Alzheimer’s disease I would never have related to these who care for people with that dreadful illness. If my parents had not died young, suffice it to say I would not have known how to relate to so many grieving people who have crossed my path.

There would have been no path to lead that Fibromyalgia support group. There would have been no opportunity to share my faith in the midst of suffering through this blog.

Have you ever been greeted by a 6 year old boy who is eager to see you? He greets you joyously by running to you, grabbing your legs, almost knocking you down. Are you eager to greet God that way?

That child does not sulk and wonder why you did not give him what he wanted for his birthday last year. He is just glad to see you.

Can you begin to approach the Lord in the same way? Michael W. Smith and his wife Debbie wrote these lyrics in 1982 based on Psalm 145:3. Use them as your theme for a few days and see if your heart is not lighter!

Great is the Lord
He is holy and just
By His power we trust
In His love
Great is the Lord
He is faithful and true
By His mercy He proves
He is love

Great is the Lord
And worthy of glory
Great is the Lord
And worthy of praise
Great is the Lord
Now lift up your voice
Now lift up your voice
Great is the Lord
Great is the Lord

Run towards the Father!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Grief

One quote from a book, whose author and title I failed to note, reads, “There’s no use damming up sorrow,” he said. “The river of grief has its own course and its own pace. Tears are a gift from God. Sorrow can grieve over a loss and still be grateful for the time you had.”

I attended a funeral this week for a man who died at age 101. He was a man of wealth and a noted philanthropist. He caught Covid and could not fight it off.

I also spoke with a friend who has been diagnosed with a rare disease. There is no cure and her future is uncertain in regards to pain, suffering, side effects from strong medications, etc. We’re both reading “Celebrate Life: New Attitudes for Living with Chronic Illness.” We are on the chapters about grief as it arises with the diagnosis of chronic illness, and how to navigate through that grief.

The man who died had buried his wife after 66 years of marriage. My friend and I have both been married for 51 years. He knew grief. He also knew success.

My friend and I have both born and raised two children. All four are lively adults. We have known success. He and his wife bore four boys. All of them spoke at the funeral.

I wish he was here so I could ask him how he managed the rapids of aging and decline. He was a strong Christian. Was he able to lean upon the Lord during his dark times? I understand he exercised every single day until the last two weeks of his life. Had a personal trainer come to his house. I am far, far behind on that front!

Guess I best get up and get moving for a longer life and the best health I can obtain. Along with my friend I take many medications daily. Bob calls it “Better living through modern chemistry.” Indeed, I have outlived both of my parents.

Years ago Bob and I worked at The Children’s Home in Hamilton, Ohio. We were told to read Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s on entitled On Death and Dying. The children we worked with often went through these stages not only regarding their family of origin, but also the workers who came in and out of their lives. Kubler-Ross outlined five stages of grief. Some therapists have added a few more, but the basic five are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages do not necessarily occur in that order. You do not necessarily experience the stages only once. The stages also apply to chronic illness patients.

We all know that none of us will get out of here alive, unless the Lord returns before our life ends. We will leave behind people who admire and love us. We will be left behind by others who die. Have we even thought about how to navigate that? Nope, I think most people live in a high state of denial, not even thinking about it until there is no choice.

Research shows that damming up sorrow is very bad for one’s health both physically and mentally. For a person with chronic illness damming up the sorrow can make the symptoms worse! “The river of grief has its own course.” Have you ever considered that tears can be a cleansing part of the river of grief? When was the last time you just let go and had a good cry? It can work wonders for all parts of you.

The river has its own course.

We change, we age, we diminish in our capacity to do the things we used to do. Can you be grateful for the strengths you have had, even if you must let them go? Can you rejoice in the goodness of living, even this day which is so unlike your days were years ago?

Sorrow, grief, loss and gratitude can exist side by side. Don’t try to dam them up. Be grateful for the life you have had thus far and look forward to the life you are still living.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

On My Mirror …

… is a reminder on a post-it note that reads: Praise Splendor Marvelous Deeds Power Might Gratitude. Why? Because just like you, I am prone to forget the attributes of God.

Splendor and majesty are before him;
    strength and glory are in his sanctuary.

 Ascribe to the Lord, all you families of nations,
    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

Declare his glory among the nations,

his marvelous works among all peoples

Honor and majesty are before him;

strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

Portions of Psalm 96 NRSV

You might not know that 1 Chronicles 16, when David placed the ark, is related to this psalm. He is also quoted in Psalm 105:1-15 and Psalm 106:1, 47-48.

What does this have to do with being a Christian in 2022? We don’t have a tent, no longer use an ark. What’s up then? I believe it is imperative that we continue to come into God’s presence declaring his praises. We are never to forget that he is not only worthy of our praise, but that all splendor resides with him. His marvelous deeds are not to be compared with the deeds of mere men. His power and might formed the heavens and our toenails. We are to live lives of gratitude for his mercy and grace daily extended to us.

May you go through the week singing His praises!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Collection of Quotes, Faith, medical treatment, Nature

Various Quotes

I make notes as I read and come across things I want to use in this blog. When I go back to review them I often wish I had expounded with a few key words to prompt myself. Nevertheless, the quotes usually move me even if I do not recall the original impact they had upon me.

Many of my quotes come from Gratefulness.org. I get a daily thought from them. They draw from across faiths and races and countries to find the best ones to use. I am always amazed at the similarities among faiths and peoples irregardless of the differences!

When we trust our creativity we encounter a supreme kind of enjoyment – an amazement at the natural unfolding of life beyond our ordinary way of looking at things.

Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

Like I was saying, an amazing unfolding of life beyond my ordinary way of looking at things!

In August of 2018 (as now) I was struggling to adjust to a loss of strength and stamina. Chronic pain has a way of draining you. What you took for granted yesterday may prove to be quicksand today. How to adapt to this ever-changing landscape? I was sent the following quote that day.

Loss makes artists of us all as we weave new patterns in the fabric of our lives.

Greta W. Crosby
Early morning in Winter

Saw family doc about pain. I am okay with Tylenol dose I am taking. She has referred me to pain management doctor. I will try my best to keep weaving new patterns from the pain changes.

I think over again my small adventures, my fears, those small ones that seemed so big, all those vital things I had to get and to reach, and yet there is only one great thing: to live and see the great day that dawns, and the light that fills the world.

Old Inuit Song

What in your life is calling you, when all the noise is silenced, the meetings adjourned … the lists laid aside, and the wild iris blooms by itself in the dark forest … what still pulls on your soul?

Rumi

That quote I noted as “Why I Write.” To capture my experiences with God in words, to try to tell you what life with the Trinity is like for me, that is what pulls on my soul. Ben Palpant teaches writers to “get comfortable with words like your fork.” After age 6 or so most of us don’t give much thought to how we use our fork. Just can we get it to our mouth? I want my words to get to your heart, your soul, your mind. I want words that will transport you to a deeper, richer place with holiness.

I also make notes as I notice things when we are driving around. “Low-lying black clouds were shifting in thick, grotesque shapes across a fat full moon.” Too bad I had no photo for that one! Perhaps reading it again you can make the photo in your mind?

How about driving home during a winter dusk I saw “Blood red sky through the trees. V8 juice with swizzle sticks.” Again, have to make your own picture in your mind.

Hope your day is enjoyable!

Posted on in Aging, Beagle, Faith, Music

Sunny Side of the Street

For many years we lived there. No longer.

While those across the street had total pavement showing, we had 3 inches of ice on our sidewalk to front door. The entire yard was frozen over this AM. Rough winter indeed!

These photos are from an evening walk February 5. Too bad I did not capture the lovely driveways on the sunny side!

Evening walk with Lucky

Many have fallen on the ice, some more than once. Black ice, clear ice, I just hate ice. One fell and broke a rib. Another fell and bruised both hands, shattered her cell phone completely. PLEASE be careful out there Ohioans and others in this continuous winter weather warp.

Oh Lord, send the sun and spring soon we pray!