Category: Aging

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Just do it, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Thanks, Yield

Yeah. No.

Is it yes or no? Pet peeve here. What is it with people who nod their head no while they speak yes. Just as bad to nod head yes while speaking no. Am I to believe the words or the body language? And when some say, ”Yeah. No.” I want to holler “WHICH ONE IS IT?!?!”

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ Anything more comes from the evil one.

Berman Study Bible Matthew 5:37

Granted, I understand this passage is about swearing, but can we also apply it to our everyday communication, please? The following is a quite clear communication.

If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

Hillel the Elder, first-century Jewish Scholar

Often those of us who are unhappy with life wind up asking “Why me?” Hillel would like to speak with those folks!

Watching The Chosen TV series one night the question popped into my consciousness. And then I pondered, “Why the crippled? Why the prostitute? Why the lepers? Why the sinners?” Before they met Jesus I think most of them realized they were not going to get what they wanted from life.

I am a more than a little tarnished by age. I have had a pretty wonderful life. The chronic pain plagues me more now than in the early years after diagnosis. So yes, at times I wonder “Why me?“

Without the chronic pain I would not have had so many avenues opened for me to share my faith. And then I remember that without these troubles I could never have related to all those I have prayed for who suffer.

If my Aunt Mary had not had Alzheimer’s disease I would never have related to these who care for people with that dreadful illness. If my parents had not died young, suffice it to say I would not have known how to relate to so many grieving people who have crossed my path.

There would have been no path to lead that Fibromyalgia support group. There would have been no opportunity to share my faith in the midst of suffering through this blog.

Have you ever been greeted by a 6 year old boy who is eager to see you? He greets you joyously by running to you, grabbing your legs, almost knocking you down. Are you eager to greet God that way?

That child does not sulk and wonder why you did not give him what he wanted for his birthday last year. He is just glad to see you.

Can you begin to approach the Lord in the same way? Michael W. Smith and his wife Debbie wrote these lyrics in 1982 based on Psalm 145:3. Use them as your theme for a few days and see if your heart is not lighter!

Great is the Lord
He is holy and just
By His power we trust
In His love
Great is the Lord
He is faithful and true
By His mercy He proves
He is love

Great is the Lord
And worthy of glory
Great is the Lord
And worthy of praise
Great is the Lord
Now lift up your voice
Now lift up your voice
Great is the Lord
Great is the Lord

Run towards the Father!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Faith, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Grief

One quote from a book, whose author and title I failed to note, reads, “There’s no use damming up sorrow,” he said. “The river of grief has its own course and its own pace. Tears are a gift from God. Sorrow can grieve over a loss and still be grateful for the time you had.”

I attended a funeral this week for a man who died at age 101. He was a man of wealth and a noted philanthropist. He caught Covid and could not fight it off.

I also spoke with a friend who has been diagnosed with a rare disease. There is no cure and her future is uncertain in regards to pain, suffering, side effects from strong medications, etc. We’re both reading “Celebrate Life: New Attitudes for Living with Chronic Illness.” We are on the chapters about grief as it arises with the diagnosis of chronic illness, and how to navigate through that grief.

The man who died had buried his wife after 66 years of marriage. My friend and I have both been married for 51 years. He knew grief. He also knew success.

My friend and I have both born and raised two children. All four are lively adults. We have known success. He and his wife bore four boys. All of them spoke at the funeral.

I wish he was here so I could ask him how he managed the rapids of aging and decline. He was a strong Christian. Was he able to lean upon the Lord during his dark times? I understand he exercised every single day until the last two weeks of his life. Had a personal trainer come to his house. I am far, far behind on that front!

Guess I best get up and get moving for a longer life and the best health I can obtain. Along with my friend I take many medications daily. Bob calls it “Better living through modern chemistry.” Indeed, I have outlived both of my parents.

Years ago Bob and I worked at The Children’s Home in Hamilton, Ohio. We were told to read Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s on entitled On Death and Dying. The children we worked with often went through these stages not only regarding their family of origin, but also the workers who came in and out of their lives. Kubler-Ross outlined five stages of grief. Some therapists have added a few more, but the basic five are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The stages do not necessarily occur in that order. You do not necessarily experience the stages only once. The stages also apply to chronic illness patients.

We all know that none of us will get out of here alive, unless the Lord returns before our life ends. We will leave behind people who admire and love us. We will be left behind by others who die. Have we even thought about how to navigate that? Nope, I think most people live in a high state of denial, not even thinking about it until there is no choice.

Research shows that damming up sorrow is very bad for one’s health both physically and mentally. For a person with chronic illness damming up the sorrow can make the symptoms worse! “The river of grief has its own course.” Have you ever considered that tears can be a cleansing part of the river of grief? When was the last time you just let go and had a good cry? It can work wonders for all parts of you.

The river has its own course.

We change, we age, we diminish in our capacity to do the things we used to do. Can you be grateful for the strengths you have had, even if you must let them go? Can you rejoice in the goodness of living, even this day which is so unlike your days were years ago?

Sorrow, grief, loss and gratitude can exist side by side. Don’t try to dam them up. Be grateful for the life you have had thus far and look forward to the life you are still living.

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, Music, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

On My Mirror …

… is a reminder on a post-it note that reads: Praise Splendor Marvelous Deeds Power Might Gratitude. Why? Because just like you, I am prone to forget the attributes of God.

Splendor and majesty are before him;
    strength and glory are in his sanctuary.

 Ascribe to the Lord, all you families of nations,
    ascribe to the Lord glory and strength.

Declare his glory among the nations,

his marvelous works among all peoples

Honor and majesty are before him;

strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.

Portions of Psalm 96 NRSV

You might not know that 1 Chronicles 16, when David placed the ark, is related to this psalm. He is also quoted in Psalm 105:1-15 and Psalm 106:1, 47-48.

What does this have to do with being a Christian in 2022? We don’t have a tent, no longer use an ark. What’s up then? I believe it is imperative that we continue to come into God’s presence declaring his praises. We are never to forget that he is not only worthy of our praise, but that all splendor resides with him. His marvelous deeds are not to be compared with the deeds of mere men. His power and might formed the heavens and our toenails. We are to live lives of gratitude for his mercy and grace daily extended to us.

May you go through the week singing His praises!

Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Collection of Quotes, Faith, medical treatment, Nature

Various Quotes

I make notes as I read and come across things I want to use in this blog. When I go back to review them I often wish I had expounded with a few key words to prompt myself. Nevertheless, the quotes usually move me even if I do not recall the original impact they had upon me.

Many of my quotes come from Gratefulness.org. I get a daily thought from them. They draw from across faiths and races and countries to find the best ones to use. I am always amazed at the similarities among faiths and peoples irregardless of the differences!

When we trust our creativity we encounter a supreme kind of enjoyment – an amazement at the natural unfolding of life beyond our ordinary way of looking at things.

Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

Like I was saying, an amazing unfolding of life beyond my ordinary way of looking at things!

In August of 2018 (as now) I was struggling to adjust to a loss of strength and stamina. Chronic pain has a way of draining you. What you took for granted yesterday may prove to be quicksand today. How to adapt to this ever-changing landscape? I was sent the following quote that day.

Loss makes artists of us all as we weave new patterns in the fabric of our lives.

Greta W. Crosby
Early morning in Winter

Saw family doc about pain. I am okay with Tylenol dose I am taking. She has referred me to pain management doctor. I will try my best to keep weaving new patterns from the pain changes.

I think over again my small adventures, my fears, those small ones that seemed so big, all those vital things I had to get and to reach, and yet there is only one great thing: to live and see the great day that dawns, and the light that fills the world.

Old Inuit Song

What in your life is calling you, when all the noise is silenced, the meetings adjourned … the lists laid aside, and the wild iris blooms by itself in the dark forest … what still pulls on your soul?

Rumi

That quote I noted as “Why I Write.” To capture my experiences with God in words, to try to tell you what life with the Trinity is like for me, that is what pulls on my soul. Ben Palpant teaches writers to “get comfortable with words like your fork.” After age 6 or so most of us don’t give much thought to how we use our fork. Just can we get it to our mouth? I want my words to get to your heart, your soul, your mind. I want words that will transport you to a deeper, richer place with holiness.

I also make notes as I notice things when we are driving around. “Low-lying black clouds were shifting in thick, grotesque shapes across a fat full moon.” Too bad I had no photo for that one! Perhaps reading it again you can make the photo in your mind?

How about driving home during a winter dusk I saw “Blood red sky through the trees. V8 juice with swizzle sticks.” Again, have to make your own picture in your mind.

Hope your day is enjoyable!

Posted on in Aging, Beagle, Faith, Music

Sunny Side of the Street

For many years we lived there. No longer.

While those across the street had total pavement showing, we had 3 inches of ice on our sidewalk to front door. The entire yard was frozen over this AM. Rough winter indeed!

These photos are from an evening walk February 5. Too bad I did not capture the lovely driveways on the sunny side!

Evening walk with Lucky

Many have fallen on the ice, some more than once. Black ice, clear ice, I just hate ice. One fell and broke a rib. Another fell and bruised both hands, shattered her cell phone completely. PLEASE be careful out there Ohioans and others in this continuous winter weather warp.

Oh Lord, send the sun and spring soon we pray!

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Collection of Quotes, Faith, medical treatment, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Increasing Discomfort

Can you imagine the tree the above stump supported? The root system must have been mighty and wide spreading! When I remember myself as young woman I am amazed how strong and full of vitality I was. I tell young people I meet, “You have no idea how strong you are!”

It is difficult when living with chronic illness to discuss comfort and discomfort. My chronic pain disorder makes it rare that I can say I am comfortable. I have noticed lately that my discomfort is rising. Last few weeks, there is more pain than usual. Headaches harder to ignore. You know how they tell you not to take Tylenol long term? Yeah, well, I take it daily, usually 4 times a day. So until I can discuss this with my doc what to do?

Usually after I wallow a bit I turn to Scripture for help. This morning I was lead to listen to parts of Ephesians which our pastor quoted in his sermon on Sunday. Pastor did not read this, but here was the verse that rang out to me this morning.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 

Ephesians 6:10

Left to myself I cannot write this blog. Left to my own power I cannot walk out a life with chronic illness. Hand in hand with my Savior, I can do things through His mighty power. His power, not mine. Never for one moment do I think that my power sustains me. For a time in my life I SO disliked this verse in Corinthians.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

I did not think at that time I wanted the grace as much as I wanted my own strength. Young, foolish woman. I did not realize that my weakness would increase and increase as I aged. And my strength was not worthy to be compared with that grace which He promises would flourish in my weakness.

So here I am at the keyboard again to address some things that I have learned in living with Chronic illness. From my flood of ideas …

Fears can lose some power if you name them. So name them, even if it is difficult to use your hands right now. On the iPhone the notes app (looks like paper pad with yellow bar on top) the app has a microphone. You can dictate your list. The app will even create a numbered list. It takes courage to face these things, but you can do this! Better than wasting energy in dreading. Face this moment with courage. Then use your list as a

Much of my suffering has stemmed from realizing there is something I used to do and can no longer accomplish. Temporarily removed or permanently these things cause a very real form of grief. Grief needs to be felt and then let out. So I name it. Perhaps record all the things I loved about that activity. And then slowly take a step towards current reality. And look at the new circumstances squarely. What can I do even with limitations? How might that be tolerable? (Usually for me the first thing is to quit bitchin’ about distaste.) I had to learn that acceptance does not equal approval. Someone said,’Wishin’ comes easy. Change don’t.”

Acceptance ≠ Approval

What can I value about myself, right here and right now, regardless of current abilities? There is no shame allowed in illness. None of us sets out to be sick. No sane child says, “I want to be crippled with physical limitations when I grow up.” We do not plan for this and many of us kick against the change in fortune instead of learning how to accommodate our own needs. Be gentle with yourself.

We have all seen images of devastation on television be it from landslides, hurricanes, volcanoes, tsunamis or storms of wind, ice, snow, sand, torrential rain. Pick your image. When people ask, “How are you?” – and they will one thousand times – decide your answer. Few sincerely want to know. I have been tempted to say, “I’m okay except for my recent tsunami!” Being able to describe your experience with an image is helpful for yourself, though perhaps not others. Actually, it works nicely to say, “I am well.” Even if feeling like a train wreck physically, I am usually well in my center point with Christ. Looks are deceiving. Many are suffering all around you.

None of us is getting out of here alive, unless of course the Lord comes this week. It is just how we go that seems to matter at the end. Will you be kicking and screaming or slipping into the arms of Jesus and His holy angels with a smile on your face? Not a false face, but one of contentment.

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.

1 Timothy 6:6-7

Godliness with contentment, great gain. Acceptance ≠ Approval. There is a television show entitled “This is Us.” I pray that your version of the program will be filled with contentment, peace and acceptance of your life as it is now. Cling to hope.

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. The most you can do is live inside that hope, running down its hallways, touching the walls on both sides.

Barbara Kingsolver “Hope: An Owners Manual”
Posted on in Aging, Book quotes, Challenge, Faith, Just do it, medical treatment, Memories, Poetry, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Yield

A Few Ways to Cope with Chronic Illness

Remember my brainstorm of things I might share with my friend? Here are a few more.

Have you ever deliberately turned to face the Lord? Once on retreat I determined to hold His hand and stay with Him. It was my practice for a few hours and changed me forever. We are invited by His Spirit to do these things every day.

For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.”

Isaiah 41:13 NIV

Turn to face the Lord. Determine to stay with Him. Hold His hand.

Pyramid Hill Sculpture Park, photo by r m dutina

Do you remember recently when I quoted Rick Hansen, PhD, from his book “Just One Thing”? The post is here https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/7643

One of his ways of bringing us back to the present moment is in Chapter 42, page 173. “Notice You’re All Right Right Now.” My summary along with other methods I have learned follows. Look at this present moment. Notice you have been breathing through all these health changes. Breathe now. Intentionally. Breathe again, here in this moment. Keep breathing. Are you still there, present in this moment? If you drifted away come back. Kindly be right here, now. This is a practice that can increase your capacity for mindfulness. There have been many, many studies that prove the health benefits of learning mindfulness.

I wrote a poem once about my experience when I was diagnosed with chronic illness. The refrain is, “Pray that I don’t panic. Pray I can be still. Pray that I can find God in the midst of being ill.” It is extremely difficult to focus on ANYTHING when we do not feel good. Mindfulness practice can help us. Brother Lawrence taught we are to speak to God all day long about everything. That is easier to accomplish if you are not panicked, distracted, racing about with catastrophizing, etc. (“Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that prompts people to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very limited information or objective reason to despair.”)

In his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Viktor Frankl wrote,”Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Frankl suffered with many others in a Nazi prison camp. The man knows suffering. We get to choose our attitudes towards what is going on with our health, or any other situation.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.

Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

I cannot change the multiple diagnoses of chronic health conditions that I have. I can however determine to challenge myself to find ways to cope and reasons to live on, preferably with joy and gladness.

Posted on in Aging, Amazing Creations, Faith, Family, Just do it, Memories, Prayer, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth, Traveling

Giant Tree and Roots

During his life in California my father-in-law, Dragomir Dutina, was a volunteer and supporter at Shinn Historical Park and Arboretum. The photo above is my husband, Robert, standing at the roots of the massive Moreton Bay Fig Tree which grows there. If you are ever in Fremont California you might want to stop by there 1251 Peralta Blvd., Fremont, CA.

Regarding the Moreton Bay Fig Tree Wikipedia says Ficus macrophylla, commonly known as the Moreton Bay fig or Australian banyan, is a large evergreen banyan tree of the family Moraceae native to eastern Australia, from the Wide Bay–Burnett region in the north to the Illawarra in New South Wales, as well as Lord Howe Island. Its common name is derived from Moreton Bay in Queensland, Australia. It is best known for its imposing buttress roots.

The Shinn family imported many specimens for their home garden. This one is SO impressive. Wouldn’t you think by the photo that this tree has massive underground roots? So why all the visible big roots? Have you ever visited a gothic cathedral with ‘flying buttresses?”

Washington National Cathedral

Again Wikipedia says: Buttress roots are large, wide roots on all sides of a shallowly rooted tree. Typically, they are found in nutrient-poor tropical forest soils that may not be very deep. They prevent the tree from falling over (hence the name buttress) while also gathering more nutrients. Buttresses are tension elements, being larger on the side away from the stress of asymmetrical canopies.[1] The roots may interwind with buttress roots from other trees and create an intricate mesh, which may help support trees surrounding it. They can grow up to 30 feet (9.1 m) tall and spread for 30 metres above the soil then for another 30 metres below. When the roots spread horizontally, they are able to cover a wider area for collecting nutrients. They stay near the upper soil layer because all the main nutrients are found there.

Wait! All that show and massive growth is because of shallow roots? Well, maybe not because it says if 30 metres above the soil perhaps 30 metres below the soil, too. 30 metres, 98 FEET. “They prevent the tree from falling over while also gathering nutrients.”

Have you known Christians who sport large canopies (hear many words about God) but perhaps their root system seems flimsy? Have you noticed buttress roots about them? I knew people who were proud that they could recite all the books of the Bible. I always wondered how they did at actually LIVING one verse. Living any one verse is harder than it seems.

Many of us try to show others our faith with large financial donations, bragging, and flying buttresses made of arguments about faith, strong convictions about God’s judgements and meanings. I think St. Francis had it right when he said, “Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words when necessary.”

I pray along with Paul that ‘out of His glorious riches God may strengthen you with power through the Spirit in your inner being …and you, being rooted and established in love, may have power to GRASP how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, to KNOW this love that surpasses knowledge.’ (Ephesians 3:16-19 NIV)

Out of His riches God can help us to know these things. Give Him your hands so He can give you the power to grasp these things. Once you have hold of it let Him show you how to use this power and knowledge. If you forget and the knowledge slips out of your hands, go back and ask Him to help you again. Oh Father, that we might bring delight to Your heart through these actions. I pray it all for your glory. Amen.

Like Dragomir’s great-grandson hold firmly to the roots of love in Christ
Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Journal, Just do it, Memories, Spiritual discipline, Spiritual growth

Isaiah 30:15 Life Verse

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel:

In returning and rest you shall be saved;

    in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.

But you refused

Isaiah 30:15NRSV

Isaiah 30:15 ends with “But you refused” or “But you would not.” I want to perform the beginning of the verse, what the Baptists would call my life verse.  “In returning and rest you are saved; in quietness and trust shall be your strength.” I choose to make the last phrase ‘but you would not’ untrue of me. That requires discipline again and again for me to return and rest in God.

Difficult to keep in my mind when I do things like jump out of my meditation and prayer chair to dry off the dog and find superfine gravel dirt all over the front hall and Bob’s bathroom floor from soles of our boots worn to the Nature Center the day before! Here I am back at it. “In returning and rest I am saved.”

We tried to be careful with those dirty soles. Perhaps it is a lesson regarding my dirty soul. Not undue self-castigation here. I so easily depart my knowledge of the Lord. I could have seen that dry off and cleanup event as a way to stay quiet, still, trusting and resting in God: grateful I have a dog in our family, grateful for ability to walk in the Nature Center, resting in the fact that eventually I will be returned to dust yet He will reign forever and ever.

In returning and rest I am saved; in quietness and trust is my strength. I can see that some growth has occurred over the years. I was not angry while cleaning up. In past years I likely would have been. I did, however, return to my prayer chair and ask myself, “Now where was I?” Oh for the day I can carry my prayer chair meditations and practice to the other rooms without flinching or forgetting!

I suppose that is why the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel said “IN RETURNING.” The omnipotent Holy One knew I would be returning. Lord help me always to return and rest in Your tender help and care. Dissuade my tendency to not return with Your power and indwelling Holy Spirit.

My salvation is in returning. My salvation is in resting. My strength is in quietness and trust. So there I have it. When I am feeling not strong, I must go back to quietness and trust in God. There is great wisdom in the concept that when you do not know what to do next, return to the last thing the Lord told you. We are so easily distracted! Like Dug the dog in the movie “Up!” who said “Squirrel!”

I have been working with this verse for many years. Be encouraged by that and know that you, too, can be changed by practicing the Word. Even if that means as the Benedictines say, “Always, we begin again.”

The wind is blowing the wind chimes into constant song. The snow is falling and at times pouring off the roof. The roof line is almost indistinguishable from the sky right now. The candle flickers and I pray you are encouraged to go to God and be with Him. Please do not be the ones “Who would not.”

Posted on in Aging, Challenge, Faith, Memories, Music, Spiritual growth

Austin City Limits

My husband loves to record the show ACL and then watch at our leisure. He often discovers new-to-him musical talent that way. Recently they featured Jackson Browne. We knew him from years ago (think 1978) but had lost touch with his talent. When he sang “Doctor My Eyes” I was reminded of my early walk with Jesus and the pain of seeing others who were suffering. The lyrics are as follows. I have added an almost 5 minute video if you want to hear the song again.

Doctor, my eyes have seen the years 
and the slow parade of fears without crying
Now I want to understand

I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good without hiding
You must help me if you can

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise to leave them open for so long?

'Cause I have wandered through this world
As each moment has unfurled
I've been waiting to awaken form these dreams

People go just where they will
I never noticed them until I got this feeling
That it's later than it seems

Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what you see,
I hear their cries
Just say if it's too late for me

Doctor, my eyes
Cannot see the sky
Is this the prize for having learned how not to cry?

Trust me, by 1978 I had learned plenty about crying. I also had learned that the Lord does hear our cries. Browne sings “I have done all that I could to see the evil from the good without hiding, you must help me if you can.” And the Word says He wants us to grow up and learn this discernment.

But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Hebrews 5:14 NIV

He does not give us everything we want. He so often provides just exactly what we need. It was interesting to revisit the feelings evoked by His song and realize how much better I understand the Lord now than I did at the time I first listened to Jackson Browne. God is moved with compassion and He will help us.

The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.

Psalm 145:8 NIV

I have been reading a book entitled Night Bird Calling by Cathy Gohlke. This conversation was between a young woman being manipulated by an abusive father and abusive husband who said their doings were the will of God. She is talking with an older, wiser, truly Christian woman.

“Then you’ve only known people who take the name of the Lord in vain.” That caught me short. “Jesus called Jews of every social rank. He called women and children and people from Samaria and tax collectors and prostitutes and the down-and-out to Himself. He called unlearned fishermen for the greatest work in the history of the world. He called the humble and the penitent and those who were smart enough to recognize their need of a Savior and to see that need fulfilled in Him. Those people followed Him, surrendered their all to Him, and obeyed His commands. They are the ones who deserve the name ‘Christian’—Christ followers. Anything less, anything Pharisaic and legalistic and arrogant, takes His name in vain. Velma reminds me of the elder brother in the parable of the Prodigal Son—totally unaware that her position in the community was given her.” “Are you saying Velma Richards is not a Christian?” I was astonished by Aunt Hyacinth’s lengthy tirade and perversely thrilled with her defiance. Aunt Hyacinth chuckled. “Well, not to her face.” She grew serious just as quickly. “But I’m saying that you need to recognize the difference between what people claim to be and what they are, and take that into account when you make your decision.”

Night Bird Calling by Cathy Gohlke

Recognize the difference – SEE – the difference between pretense and reality.

Doctor Jesus, we need Your healing for our eyes. We need Your wisdom for our lives. Awaken us from the dream of thinking we know and understand others at a depth. Help us to see as You see and know as You know. Amen.