Yeti?

Wordnik says Yeti is a noun An unidentified humanoid animal said to live in the Himalayas and also “a large hairy humanoid creature said to live in the Himalayas.” Lately in America is has taken on the meaning of a tough, insulated container that is able to keep things cold for hours upon hours.

For my birthday last year my sister bought me a Yeti tumbler. I outfitted it with a lid that will accommodate the new silicone straws. It fits in my car cup holder. If I leave it on the counter overnight with some tea in it the next morning that tea is still ice cold.

Then she brought me an enormous yeti type tumbler that does fit in the car cup holder. It is so large it gets in Bob’s way when he is driving. I have not been using that one lately. It also very, very heavy when filled with ice and tea. Good for a long day away from home though!

I have friends who are working in the Himalayas. I would be willing to bet that no person living in that area has heard of an insulated container named Yeti. The ‘hairy humanoid’ is not an image I would associate with cold beverages! Now I do though, since I own one.

Whether you use a drinking glass, water bottle, Stanley mug or Yeti Rambler I hope you can quench your thirst without adding to the environmental impact from millions of plastic water bottles!

Besides, the Yeti is insulated and made from stainless steel. Will likely outlast me!!

Rub Me Smooth

When we traveled (I think it was in Idaho?) this photo brought back a song I had heard in my heart many years before.

This is the lyric I heard and finally wrote down in 2016

Rub me smooth 			
Rub me smooth
With Your living water
Rub me smooth
I am a sharp stone
Quarried from the earth
With Your Living Water
Rub me smooth

Allelu, Alluelu
by Your living water rub me smooth
I am a sharp stone
Quarried from the earth
by Your living water rub me smooth.

“Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
    and who seek the Lord:
Look to the rock from which you were cut
    and to the quarry from which you were hewn;

Isaiah 51:1 NIV

When I studied this out here is some of what I found.

Standing above the water on a bridge, the water was so clear we easily saw the many stones in the stream bed.

 look unto the rock – The ancestors of the nation are compared to a quarry, the Israelites to the stones hewn from it,—a peculiar image found nowhere else

Cambridge Bible for schools and colleges

A river rock is a natural stone that has been smoothed and shaped by the flow of water in a river. Abrasion is a process of continuing the smoothing of rocks by water and by other rocks, making them smooth and round.

https://howtofindrocks.com/what-makes-river-rocks-smooth-and-round/
Where there is a rough edge. the water’s work is not yet finished.

Abrasion from the water reshapes the rock. What is harder than rock? At times my heart is! Yet that living water flows and shapes and corrects my rough edges until they resemble smooth stones.

For an enriching discussion about David and the five stones, etc. see https://graceintorah.net/2015/06/19/five-smooth-stones/#_ftn8

I challenge you to choose a stone and carry it in your pocket as a reminder of the Presence of God and the work of the Living Water in smoothing you. Yield to that life-giving work and show forth His glory in your life.

Cling as a Vine

Since childhood I have been fascinated with finding dead vines that have the tendril used to attach to another plant still affixed. It has always been a special pleasure to find one on a walk, especially one that I can collect without damaging the plant.

“Ultimately, Clinging, expresses a radical dependence on God.” So reads part of the cover flap from a wonderful small book about prayer that Emilie Griffin wrote Clinging: The Experience of Prayer The tome continues to impact me many years after reading it. I read it in 1990. It was first printed in 1984.

Contemplative, free, abandoned, authentic prayer is possible for every Christian, whatever his or her state in life; even in the most secular, crowded and busy, high-pressured lives, the peacefulness of prayer is a real possibility.

Emilie Griffin

When we cling to the Lord we are fulfilling his words in John 15:5a “I am the vine; you are the branches.” And how do vines cling to branches? With tendrils of contemplative, free, abandoned, authentic conversation with the Holy One.

Have you wrapped your mind and heart about Jesus lately? Do you choose to make clinging to the Trinity a life style? Did you discuss things with Him like whether to make the rice today? Boil the eggs? Start the laundry? Write a prayer? Run to the store? Write the blog?

I wish I could give each reader a piece of wooden tendril as a reminder to cling to the Lord of Heaven and earth. This is a clinging and dependence that is amazingly good.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not rely on your own insight.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 RSV

Recently a friend was telling me how her cat dislikes it when she leaves their home. I imagined the cat clinging to her leg like a small child. Jesus never leaves us. Never lets us go out of the house without Him. Can you remember that when you get in your car? Can you imagine the Lord riding with you? There was a saying years ago that went something like “Jesus is my co-pilot.” I always wanted it to be Jesus is my pilot, driver, whatever.

As I learn more and more about clinging to Him, the more skilled I am at realizing that I am never alone. Send your tendrils towards Him. Wrap your mind and your life around Him.

A metaphor seen in many verses of the Bible is the term hold fast or holding fast, meaning “be diligent,” “cling to,” or “take a firm grasp of.” It is based on the idea of gripping tightly to an object. 

Holding fast to the Lord means loving Him with our whole being, following Him closely, diligently obeying His Word, devoting ourselves wholly to Him, and serving Him with all our heart and soul.

Holding fast involves not compromising in our relationships, behaviors, or anything that might pull us away from our total commitment to God and obedience to His Word.

https://www.gotquestions.org/hold-fast.html

How do you define “hold fast” and “”cling” in your daily life? Are you willing to cling right this minute?

Tendril in wrought iron

Spring

As I write this it is snowing out my window, though not expected to accumulate. I love that we are not in control of the seasons. Even though floods and blizzards and heat waves pound us, many refuse to remember the Maker of heaven and earth.

To me nothing says spring quite like yellow!

Even the beagle at the door sees it!

During October and November when our local forecaster says snow but no accumulation I am disappointed. In fact, this winter was a total disappointment as far as snow. Bah-Humbug!! Now in March when there are snow flurries there is a sort of dread. So many shrubs and bulbs and trees in bloom, and I do not want to see freeze damage to any of them. Fickle woman. So human and never satisfied for more than a moment.

One of my favorite musicians, Ludovico Einaudi. This song reminds me of snow falling.

The earth is the Lord’s and the fulness thereof,
    the world and those who dwell therein;
for he has founded it upon the seas,
    and established it upon the rivers.

Psalm 24:1-2 RSV

Chronic Pain and Dust

When I am trying to cope with unrelenting pain I often tell Bob it is as if I am being ground to powder. Reading Elisabeth Elliot’s book A Path Through Suffering I was blessed by her paraphrase of Job 7:19, 10:8-9.

Can’t you take your eyes off me? Won’t you leave me alone long enough to swallow my spit? You shaped me and made me; now you’ve turned to destroy me. You kneaded me like clay, now you’re grinding me to a powder.

Elisabeth Elliot

Unless you have endured pain that will not let up, no matter what you do or medication you may swallow, you might not get the idea of being ground to powder. It is as if every fiber of your being that was once solid, is being changed to powder, without substance, mere dust.

Early in my diagnosis of chronic illness I came across this quote. It has helped me endure some hours of ceaseless pain, turning loose of my clenched senses and releasing myself to the loving light of my Savior.

O God, 
grant that I may understand that it is You
who are painfully parting the fibers of my being
in order to penetrate to the very marrow
of my substance and
bear me away within Yourself.
-Teilhard de Chardin, SJ


Teilhard de Chardin

While reading the last few days I was reminded (I do not remember in which book) that from dust we came and to dust we will return. Of course, you remember that Jesus also performed a miraculous healing by spitting and mixing it with dust, then rubbing it on a man’s eyes. (John 9) So why not use dust to awaken me to His presence and power even in the midst of pain. Even if it be the dust I call myself?

When you feel as if life is grinding you down to a powder how do you respond? Or do you just react? Elisabeth says of Job on page 52 “A living proof of a living faith was required, not only for Job’s friends, but for unseen powers in high places. Job’s suffering provided the context for a demonstration of trust. … To us who have the New Testament, it would seem that Job had very little to go on, yet he kept on talking to God.

Job kept on talking to God, even when things looked bleak. In Job 13:15a Job declared, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” Have you come to that extent of trust? Have you placed your all on the altar and left it there for God to use as He sees fit?

I had a friend named Char. She was slowly dying of lung cancer. I met her when I was giving a series of group lessons in crochet. She wanted to speak to me alone. We met several times at her house. One thing she really wanted the answer to had to do with prayer. She told me she talked to God all day long about everything. She asked me if she was “doing prayer right.” I assured her that nothing would please the Father more than to be included in every aspect of our life. Elliot pointed out that “Job kept on talking to God.” Are you continually talking to God? Do you invite Him in to your thoughts and activities throughout the day? Once your morning prayers and devotionals are over are you finished with God?

Perhaps my favorite image of dust is captured in this poem from 1989. Pray That I Don’t Panic © 1989   Molly Lin Dutina

	If I let myself feel the pain will I become intoxicated with the pain?  
Overwhelmed by the pain
will my life then become JUST PAIN with no other
sensation, value, or purpose?
Will I be consumed with gauging the pain
sitting in the pain
walking in the pain?
All my perceptions dulled except to pain
under pain
in pain
pain through and through
pain behind me
ahead of me pain
on all sides of me pain
above me
beneath me
life reduced
to pain
in every cell pain
Sleeplessness because of pain
Restless when sleeping due to pain

If I acknowledge the pain will I have
fortitude and courage to live beyond the pain,
Somehow given grace to override the pain,
not censor it
ignore it
deny it
but live a life in the midst of pain
always haunted by pain?
Pain of bone deterioration,
random muscle pain,
unwarranted from any strain or excess.

Pain my life
drugged or not
my partner
companion in my genes
product of ancestral history or just misfortune?

For years my life has been
pain denial pain drugs pain hope pain drained-of-hope pain denial
I am afraid that no,
the pain will never end, or, even worse,
the pain will increase
envelop, dictate, control my life.

There, I've written it. Many marvel that I'm so busy
try to accomplish so much.
They are not acquainted
with my relentless task master
who drives me on with fear
that my capacity to accomplish anything
will one day be diminished to near zero.

Jesus awoke in the boat and said, "Why are you so afraid?"

Yet then,
through Him, I'll arise
a phoenix intercessor on behalf of God's children
engaged perhaps in the biggest battle of life to date.
A supreme calling more valuable than my do-ings.
With bones cracking, muscles aching, nerves shooting
red hot signals to nowhere and everywhere
outer body diminishing
while inner woman draws upon her experience with
the living, dynamic, omnipotent Father and
she is renewed, remade in His image,
inhabited daily, hourly,
in every cell of her being
by Holy Spirit
overshadowed, indwelt
in spite of all this carnal container can develop -
a woman of God
passing through
journeying towards home
where all sorrow, all tears, and
all pain will be no more.
Forever inhabited by Holy Spirit
in rapturous adoration
of His glory
peace
and mercy.
Even so, Lord Jesus,
I offer myself a living sacrifice unto You.
Renew my mind according to the word
and transform even this pain.


The ogre crumbles,
rivulets of plaster
dust
falling from its once daunting facade
gathering in powder clumps
revealing its paltry nature.




1 Peter 4:19 encourages us to "entrust yourself to your faithful Creator." I pray you and I will both do this constantly regardless of how we feel.

Think On These Things

At the beginning of the new year I brought the idea of Philippians 4:8 as a practice for 2024. How is your thinking coming along? Have you been able to pattern the ideas Paul gives us in Philippians?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8 NIV

Remember when I wrote it is not just reciting the attributes but actually naming things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, etc. that is beneficial? I find that was easier when I was sitting in a chair recovering. Never to late to return to the practice though! Thinking things that are beneficial to me will help me more than anything else I might think about. A mind running rampant in the negatives is certain to get me nowhere in the Kingdom of Light.

Even though I was frustrated when the therapist said I had lost ground in my recovery I was also thankful for the honesty of measuring range of motion from week to week. It must be difficult for the therapists to have to deliver news like that day after day to various patients. I am thankful for his honesty. My lack of progress was true.

How about you? Have you been able to train your thoughts to things that Paul says are best for us? When you get in a negative thought pattern are you able to catch yourself and turn to the things in Philippians 4:8? I believe that using this practice during my recovery has helped me continue the practice.

If I catch a negative wanting to lodge in my mind (like a nasty fish hook) I turn my thoughts to ideas about that situation or person that are right, pure, lovely, etc.

It is not easy to train our mind, but it is essential if we are to mature as the followers of Jesus. Yes, He loves us just as we are, but He does not want us to stay the same as we have always been. There is very little in my life that I can control, but I am told in Scripture to control myself. Reining in my mind to come alongside the Mind of Christ is a lifetime job. It is probably best to begin by thinking on things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Find at least one example of those. Then try finding examples of one or two others. Paul is not asking us to do something that is impossible to us. This will however take discipline!

What is A Woman to Do?

My sister has some nifty small purple/lilac flowers that grow every spring in her garden from bubs. I asked her what they are called. She had no clue. I saw a package of bulbs at Walmart last autumn. They reminded me of her flowers. I bought them and stuck them in the ground near my front door. I waited with anticipation all winter to see their flowers. Guess what! They bloomed as crocuses. WHAT?!?

I kept the top of the package with the almost unpronounceable name on it, “Chionodoxa.” But no, I did not keep the receipt. Package does say Walmart, but it is unlikely they have more of the bulbs or will make the purchase refund. Spring disappointment, though I do really like crocuses! Photo at top of blog is Chionodoxa.

It rained hard and often for over a week. Not like the floods in other areas of the country, but yards remained drenched and soggy. Imagine my surprise when I walked the dog and this garage door showed one path of escape! How many people have opened their garage doors unaware of the hitchhikers?

Worms on white garage door

There were so many earthworms on the sidewalk I wondered why the Robins were not out cleaning up the free banquet! They would not even have to pull them out of the ground. Just slurp them up!

Walking the neighborhood other aspects of spring are popping!

We enjoy rising and tumbling temperatures in southwest Ohio. This time of year is no different. Keep your coat and hat and gloves handy. Oh right. Supposed to be 70 degrees later today.

Every place you go, treasures in plain sight!

For as the soil makes the sprout come up
    and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness
    and praise spring up befo
re all nations.

Isaiah 61:11 NIV

Revealed

The other morning I was lead to pick up “A Sunlit Absence” by Martin Laird. I read the book several years ago. I have portions of it on a USB drive in my car where I occasionally listen to parts of the text. I was drawn to the concept of God sending ‘a very loving light’ to uncover what we hold in the darkness. In the chapter entitled Sharp Trials in the Intellect he refers often to ‘humbling self-knowledge.’

Humbling Self-knowledge is a crucial component of the deepening of our practice. Saint John of The Cross insists that this light we are filled with is ‘very loving light,” but for lengthy stretches of the spiritual journey, as our practice deepens, this “very loving light” enables us to see aspects of ourselves that we would rather not see but nevertheless bear our name. This humbling self-knowledge is the direct result of the inflow of light into our awareness. As when opening the curtains in a room we have not been in for some time, the light exposes all manner of dirt and dust. the dirt and dust were always there, but there was not light sufficient to see. But St. John of the Cross never wavers from his conviction that this light is not simply luminous but also “very loving light.”

A Sunlit Absence by Martin Laird

I have been doing Physical Therapy at home. It is truly boring. Counting to five on each stretch just blanks my mind. I lose count. Uncertain if that was 7 or 17. I never did enjoy gym class or any sort of physical exercise.

Recently I cleaned up the dining room table and put a table cloth on. Ultimately that meant I could no longer do the stretch called the table slide. I thought in my infinite wisdom, (NOT) that the wall slide and other stretches could replace the table slide.

At Physical Therapy appointment we discovered my shoulder was swollen and I had lost ground on the measurement of where I could tolerate a stretch. AGAIN I lost ground. Very discouraging. The therapist wants me now to count to 10 on the stretches because “you count too fast.” He wants me to set my watch to every 2 hours and do 10 or so stretches of at least three varieties.

As I tried to describe the appointment to Bob and put into words what I was feeling it hit me. My brain has been deceiving me into thinking I am disciplined and doing right by my therapy. I have not been doing right. I was reminded of Jeremiah (after I looked up where the verse was). At first I remembered the verse as “the brain is deceitful above all else.” I did not think I was trying to get away with something, but I was. Deceitful, not something I want to be.

The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
    a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
    and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
    I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
    not as they pretend to be.

Jeremiah 17:9-10 Message

Oh Molly. You have been fooling yourself. Lazy. And also confused. One therapist says do not do these to the point of pain. Then another time the message is to push to the point of pain and maybe a little bit further. The mind, the heart whatever you want to call it I have not been honest with myself about the “work” of recovery.

Realize. Confess. Cling to God. Correct the behavior. Try again.

My humbling self-knowledge shows that I have been fooling around with PT at home. So the table cloth was removed. The table slides started again. The counting to ten is also boring. But if you add the name of Jesus to the list of the fruit of the spirit one can make a ten count if you name them slowly.

“Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control, Jesus.” God help me to do what is right for my recovery. This girl-child needs constant vigilance and discipline. Jesus said “Of myself I can do nothing.” (John 5:30) I know that left to myself I will always mess it up.

The very loving light of my Father shows me my short-comings. I repeatedly ask for His guidance and help. I have not been disappointed. I grew up in a family that was constantly riddled with criticism. I have learned that my heavenly Father is not like that. Yes, He wants me to grow and learn and change into the image of Jesus, but He does not guide me in holy ways through criticism. Saint John of the Cross was correct. This is a very loving light.

May the Light of Life always guide us in the ways of righteousness and holiness. Father knows that left to myself I will always mess it up!

My Later Winter Poetry

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