Here and now is the present moment, the only life we have, RIGHT NOW. When we don’t like what we see most of us tend to avoid looking. Like a child on a stormy night who takes little peaks from under the covers, we only glance occasionally at what is going on.

This used to be me. I am trying to pray for the strength and courage that I need to face my life. The quote below got my attention.

When we are willing to be intimate with what actually is here now, to look directly at all of our experience, we might recognize that this is our life, however different from our thoughts and ideas about it.

ROSHI PAT ENKYO O’HARA ( Molly has no idea who this is)

“Look directly at all of our experience,” and by doing that the writer showed a discovery. Our thoughts and ideas about what our life is or is about to become usually differs from reality. Isn’t that strange? We think we are so advanced and educated and civilized. Then suddenly we discover that our thinking is faulty, wrong, ideas all askew.

Sometimes the reality is better, sometimes worse. I believe the thrust here is the difference.

As I write this Bob is baking my favorite birthday cake. I know he is taking it out of the oven because the timer just rang. The sound I am hearing is him poking holes in the white cake so the cream of coconut that he pours over the batter will soak into the cake. It is so rich and sweet that each year I only allow myself a smaller and smaller piece or my glucose levels go wild. But the taste of this cake is delicious. Yes, like it or not I am a Type 2 diabetic. Nothing will change that. I can lengthen my life somewhat by monitoring what I eat. I can shorten it by years if I choose to ignore the dietary guidelines and eat whatever I want.

When I was first diagnosed I was terrified. I began measuring portions for almost every single meal. I learned to count calories and carbs for the first time in my life. Eventually I calmed down and began to find the meals and combinations that are ‘safe’ for me, appropriate portions without being so very frightened about it. (Pizza and beer is not a good low carb combination!)

This year I turn 76. I take lots of medication and even insulin injections for the diabetes. So far, I do not need to test and inject at every meal. There does not SEEM to be an insulin pump in my future. Looking at my overall health gives a much better picture of reality than a single day or evening.

“Be intimate with what is actually here now.” Are you? Rick Hansen, wrote in his book Just One Thing, that there is power is saying to ourselves, “I am okay right now. I am okay right now.” Some of us tend to awfulize about what MIGHT happen. “Awfulize refers to an irrational and dramatic thought pattern, characterized by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events, situations, or perceived threats.” https://psychologydictionary.org/awfulizing/

We can also catastrophize. “Catastrophizing is a cognitive distortion that prompts people to jump to the worst possible conclusion, usually with very limited information or objective reason to despair. When a situation is upsetting, but not necessarily catastrophic, they still feel like they are in the midst of a crisis.” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/catastrophizing Are you prone to jump to despair?

Is life a catastrophy? Is it truly awful?

But what about right now? This very minute. Are you okay right now? To me one of the most important things that Rick Hanson, phd, wrote in his book Just One Thing is the idea he gained through his psychology practice of directing patients to the present moment and asking them, to take a “close look at this moment, right now. Probably, you are basically all right: no one is attacking you, you are not drowning, no bombs are falling, there is no crisis. It’s not perfect, but you’re okay.” He goes on to suggest, “In daily life, it’s possible to access this fundamental sense of all-rightness even while getting things done..”

He goes on to write, “The fear that bad things will happen if you let yourself feel okay is unfounded; let this sink in. You do not need to fear feeling all right!”

If you have not gotten this book yet, please do. Purchase it for yourself or check your local library. He also gives advice for when you are really NOT all right.