I have been experiencing this and trying to express it since the surgery on June 15. Still clumping around in the boot and hoping this cheers those of you who are struggling.

August 15 Amy Carmichael from Edges of His Ways
For the tempted. (1)
Psalm 77:3, P.B.V.: When I am in heaviness, I will think upon God.
“Have you noticed how, when you are in heaviness, you are always tempted to think about yourself–your uselessness, your failures, your nothingness–yourself in one way or another? I have known this temptation and have constantly found it tormenting others. To draw one’s thoughts to oneself is a long-tried and most successful wile of the devil.

“Straight against this is the word we have in this psalm, “When I am in heaviness, I will think upon God.” I will turn my thoughts from myself to my Father who loves me and does not stop loving me, though I am useless and a failure and less than nothing at all.”

The meditation app Calm on the same day brought forth the idea of how we fixate on certain things as required for our contentment. We are ever reaching for one thing or the other than what is for our happiness and contentment. Both Amy Carmichael and Tamara Levitt encourage us to find peace right where we are. Right now. With things as they are.

Tamara says, “The stories we tell ourselves about our lives suggest there is always something missing, some incomplete piece keeping us from happiness.” She reminds us that it is “unhealthy to place our happiness on some ever-elusive external goal.” She challenges us to find satisfaction with who we are right now. Amy stated we might feel “useless and a failure and less than nothing.” Tamra suggests we turn loose of the idea of something missing and cling instead to what is here, right now, as enough.

Tamara says, “When we rely on external factors as the key to happiness we only perpetuate our discontentment. She quote B. Grace Bullock as saying, “Once you shed your distorted lens and self-doubting beliefs, there’s a good chance you’ll discover that you’re pretty awesome. And that the light burning within you is a far more accurate reflection of who you are than the stories you have been telling yourself.” That is when contentment becomes possible.

So my struggle the last couple of months has been to stay in the present, realize that even with physical limitations I can turn my heart and mind towards God. If I stop telling myself distorted stories and think upon my God, contentment is possible. Just now.

As I am.

Right here.

Give it try!