Category: Spiritual growth

Posted on in Faith, Spiritual growth

While Waiting for Healing

Have you ever read Hinds Feet on High Places?

If not, get a copy today and begin an adventure! I read this many, many years ago. I gave away so many paperback copies I eventually bought myself the hardback copy so I would NOT give it away. At one time there were no notes for teaching this book, so I wrote my own and lead a group through the book as a Scripture study. This allegory is still teaching me about life with Christ my Lord.

While recovering from this surgery, during a prayer time one morning, I was led again to a scene at the end of the book when Much-Afraid, a timid girl with crippled feet, was led to a ‘desolate altar in this valley of shadows’ to make a burnt offering as commanded by the Shepherd.’

It was not until my retreat January 10 that I re-read and listened to an audible version (free from the library through Hoopla) to review what happened in that sacrifice. I had forgotten that at every altar Much-Afraid built throughout the journey she offered the Lord a portion of her will. This time was no different.

Romans 12:1-2 (NRSV) I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

What if this living sacrifice of our bodies intentionally included our will, too? Could you do it for Christ? Would you be willing for the Father? Might you ask the Holy Spirit to enable you to conform to God’s will that you might be transformed?

Much-Afraid, like us, was asked to offer a portion of her will at various places in her journey. We are not asked to do that all at once at the outset of our journey. I do not believe we would be able to accomplish it all, psychologically or otherwise. I do not even recognize all the strongholds of my will until I begin to stumble over new ones that are revealed to me as I follow my Lord through this life journey. Thus, there is no way I could consciously offer them as a living sacrifice all at once. Salvation and transformation are on-going processes.

So I have had to sit and wait for healing to come. I am still finding three months later that, no, the foot healing is not yet complete. I was reminded once again that healing, like transformation is a process. My will trips me more than my feet these days.

When I build an altar and sacrifice a portion of my will that is causing me to stumble, the Father has promised to accept that offering and transfigure that portion of me. 1 John reads that if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins AND cleanse us from all unrighteousness. So how does that become transformation? Not an easy question. In my experience, transformation comes as I continue and continue to yield to the highest and best that God offers me. No one and done here.

Altar_1

 

Here is a tiny sketch I made to illustrate the Hinds Feet study. I pray you will examine your heart after you read this, build your altar, fan the flames, offer your will a living sacrifice to the One Who loves us best!

 

“Prayer is sitting in silence until it silences us,

choosing gratitude until we are grateful”

-Richard Rohr

 

 

 

 

Posted on in Aging, medical treatment, Spiritual growth

Difficulty of Physical Stillness

I began to wonder if my doctor had ever sat for 5-6 weeks with no weight bearing upon one of his feet? I found it to be difficult psychologically. Psalm 32:9 CSB is a description of me when I refused to trust God in the difficult moments. “Do not be like a horse or mule, without understanding, that must be controlled with bit and bridle or else it will not come near you.”

The verse before that is a wonderful promise: “I will instruct you and show you the way to go; with my eye on you, I will give counsel.”

And God did when I calmed down, asked for help and let Him guide me.

Here is what we saw when the bandages were removed for the first time:

  • Incision where plate was inserted.
  • Heel area where bone marrow was extracted.
  • Had a plantars wart cut out while under!
Poor swollen footsie, recovering nicely though!

Tara Brach calls us to Surrendered Presence, Surrendering Presence. We waste so much time and energy trying to control everything. We are better off as far as energy stores if we can surrender and wait and see. One beaded bracelet I made pre-surgery reminds me that God is never perplexed. He is willing to be my strength. As I gladly boast in my weakness ( 2 COR 12:9-10) He is willing to be my strength and “react” upon me. (See journal entry http://stand-and-tip.com/2019/10/06/perfect-in-weakness/)

On October 31 I read a quote from Mark Nepo that says, “The things that frighten us just want to be held.” “Does that describe my fear of the pain out of control? Just something that wants to be held? Show me Lord, how to spread out the medication. When to stop. How to cope with the remainder of the healing pain.”

“I trust You, Jesus, to lead me through this. I do not want to be hooked on the painkiller. Please give me the courage to cope with this pain. Wisdom to know how to proceed.” And just like that, I was on Tylenol only.

November 2 I wrote in my journal that I needed to go back and read what I wrote about the turtle at the Nature Center ( https://atomic-temporary-149406360.wpcomstaging.com/2018/09/22/the-wise-turtle-and-bloom/). She taught me to hold on to wisdom, courage and the ability to keep looking up. “Most importantly, I realize she is looking up, as I am called to do, fixing my eyes upon things eternal. Letting go of obvious pain and aging issues I am able to relax on my favorite bench and simply soak in the pond activity: belching frogs, passing humans, bird song and noonday joy.” Yes, Lord, return me to that peace. Acceptance of things as they come. Wait and see attitude. NOT jumping to the furthest negative conclusion.”

I will likely never forget for long that I have a steel plate in my foot with 6 little screws. As of January 14 I am walking 5-8,000 steps per day. the doctor thought that was too much. Well, when I got inspired I just began moving. He says I am not totally healed yet. So, as you read this, please pray the bone will grow more thoroughly around that plate and screws.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Book quotes, Faith, Spiritual growth

Some Methods To Find Those Treasures In Plain Sight

Discussing meditation and contemplative prayer and all these other terms can sometimes distract us from actually doing the practice. Mark Buchanan is a wonderful author who often expresses things in a way I had not previously thought about. His book The Holy Wild mentions this:

“Our creativity, at least in part, comes from resting in His creativity until it seeps in. It springs from prayer. Not the busy chatty prayer we often do, but the other kind: prayer as emptiness, prayer as silence, prayer as stillness. Prayer as the absence of wanting and asking. Not the clamoring man waking his neighbor, desperate for bread (LK 11:5), but the suckled child curled up, satisfied in the mother’s arms (PS 131:2).

“Sometimes I just sit there. I don’t speak or ask or think. I watch, devoid of analysis. I just sit and look.

“I let things be, and I simply dwell in their presence. Where there is music or poetry or artistry in these things, I receive it without comment or lament, without the impulse to possess it or explain it. There is nothing mystical about this. This is not a slipping toward pantheism, where every rock bluff or grass tuft brims with divinity. This is simply an act of reverence for the God who makes things, and respect for all that He makes.

 “God’s creativity is, in one sense, the most obvious thing about Him. He saves His most intricate work for the insides and undersides of things. (Molly’s favorite part of the ocean is the underside of waves!)

Richard Rohr has also at times taken as his guide in prayer a simple phrase: “Don’t think. Just look.” He wrote in Near Occasions of Grace “Father McNamara’s definition of contemplation became transformative: “A loving look at the real.” The world, my own issues and hurts, all goals and desires gradually dissolved into proper perspective. God became obvious and everywhere.”

He says “To Practice This Today: Take a loving look at the real. Use the phrase “Don’t think. Just look.” as a reminder throughout the day.”

Often I think of the view out the window nearest to my prayer chair as a cathedral. Not one built of stone and wood, but the most important place of worship. The biggest sanctuary in the area! I dare you to try these methods of prayer, if not for an entire day, then start with 15 minutes. “Don’t think. Just look.” Just sit and look, especially if you can be out of doors. “Rest in God’s creativity. Prayer as emptiness, silence, stillness.” You will never know the benefits until you try this repeatedly. Devote 15 minutes to this practice for one week. And be blessed by a renewed awareness of God’s Presence, within and without.

About jumped out of my skin just now.

While I am typing I have my phone timer set on the silly duck sound, Kay’s favorite on her phone. I keep setting the timer for changing the outdoor hose. My plants are suffering from our near drought conditions. Writing the blog I was deep into trying to explain the practice above and the benefits of meditation and contemplative prayer. I am home alone. That phone quacked and I nearly jumped out of my skin! My Prayer Core-Group friends are never far from my mind! TURN UP YOUR VOLUME TO EMULATE MY EXPERIENCE!

So, just a reminder, to try this practice but also stay aware of the things around you so you might not be as startled as I was just now!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Nature, Spiritual growth

Tuesday, May 21

It is Tuesday morning. My Monday and Tuesday mornings are meant to be reserved for writing and blogging and organizing my thoughts. Some weeks, that gets interrupted by other things to be done. Today is the best Tuesday in a while. We are both at home in Ohio. Suitcases have all been unpacked and laundry basically caught up. This is a day meant to focus.

And here is my favorite, years old rose, urging me to center, focus, come to the center with Christ, unfold as I am meant to do.

So a few more photos in the front flower bed and I am back at my desk, praying for words to inspire and challenge you and, most of all, words to honor my Lord.

These with keep blooming with or without my observation. May we bloom to always bring honor to Christ.

Posted on in Memories, Spiritual growth

Daffodils #4

When I found this journal that depicts a little girl with brown hair picking daffodils. Oh yeah! Sold instantly!

Obviously, I never had the dress or basket, but the daffodil love was there! ANd the journal was rapidly filled. Now shelved with umpteen other volumes about my life and spiritual life.

Posted on in Aging, Faith, Just do it, Poetry, Spiritual growth

A Prompt in Plain Sight

Found this a year or so ago on the sidewalk. I have kept it ever since. It is a writing prompt and in some ways a prod. How so? you ask.

If you have a broken pencil you cannot write much unless you sharpen it and determine to use it. And that is the prod part. Was I willing to use it and sharpen it? This was before I started writing the blog. For years I had been putting off actually writing with regularity and purpose. Once again, I was being given the choice of just keeping a broken pencil, throwing it away, or putting it to work.

And the prompt? Even the stub of a pencil can be used to write. What is to stop the finder from using it? Yes, some kid is missing a green pencil from their colored pencil set, but what about the senior citizen who found and kept it. Will she make use of it, even in old age and gray hair? Will she step out in faith and just do it?

You can scroll through my posts and see if you agree. I think I am onto the discipline of using it and helping the last years of the pencil produce a harvest! Not to mention, the older woman holding said pencil.

Steve Green summed it up nicely with the song “You Want To, Now Will You”


You’ve heard the words
And know they’re true
And now they ring inside of you
They’re calling you to come away
Now will you come or stay.

You want to, now will you
You want to, now will you
The truth that burns within you
Like a bed of fiery coals
Contains that power to liberate
A thousand captive souls
But if the truth will ever set you free
Depends on you
You want to, now will you
You want to…now will you

Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Memories, Spiritual growth

Holy Treasure Placed in My Ear

If you want to build a ship, don’t herd people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work but rather, teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY

Wikipedia says: Antoine Marie Jean-Baptiste Roger, comte de Saint-Exupéry was a French writer, poet, aristocrat, journalist, and pioneering aviator. He became a laureate of several of France’s highest literary awards and also won the U.S. National Book Award. Bob’s favorite book of his is “The Little Prince.” My favorite quote of his is “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” Our long marriage has proven this to be true!

This quote about building a ship made me think about drawing people to a relationship with God. How can I make them long for the endless immensity of His holy love, the tremendous power of His resurrection life for changing and transforming us? His endless promises for good and the joy of Spirit- filled living?

Bob told me a story about talking with men in his Silver Sneakers group. It seems one man knew rather a lot through a work relationship about a man whom Bob knew tangentially. And pondering that sent sparks of inspiration!

In Exodus 20:18 the people trembled with fear when they were at Mount Sinai. God wanted the people to come and meet there (EX 19:10-11). They were so afraid that they asked Moses, “Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die.” This was a major twisting by the people of what the Lord had instructed. He wanted the people to experience Him. Here they are, holding the God of Glory at arm’s length. And it has been like that for ages. Congregations asking the Pastor to bring an inspired word, but please do not ask them to go to God for themselves!

My mother taught me to sing when I was just a small child. Her father had been a Methodist minister and she was made to sing for his services when she was growing up. She also taught me to sing the alto parts as she was soprano and wanted to harmonize. One of the first songs was “The Garden Song” with lyrics by C. Austin Miles. We sang in the car so obviously, we sang a cappella.

I sifted through You Tube versions to try to find one I liked best. I think I probably liked the singing in the car with Mom the best. Here are the lyrics

  • I come to the garden alone
  • While the dew is still on the roses
  • And the voice I hear, falling on my ear
  • The Son of God discloses
  • And He walks with me
  • And He talks with me
  • And He tells me I am His own
  • And the joy we share
  • as we tarry there
  • None other has ever known.
  • He speaks and the sound of His voice
  • Is so sweet the birds hush their singing
  • And the melody that He gave to me
  • Within my heart is ringing
  • And He walks with me
  • And He talks with me
  • And He tells me I am His own
  • And the joy we share
  • as we tarry there
  • None other has ever known.

So you see early, early on in my life I was taught, through this song to go and listen for the Lord. Choose to walk with Him and talk with Him. Listen for His voice.

I had a Lutheran priest ask me once in amazement if I really believed that. I replied, “Absolutely!” because you see, by the time I spoke with that priest, I had experiential knowledge of this Bible truth. I did not know Jesus tangentially through sermons, but with my own understanding and through my own Bible study, prayer and seeking Him.

Jesus said He came that we could have access to the Father, direct access. And through His death and resurrection He made certain that access is available for all who believe.

Do not satisfy yourself with the Pastor of your church going to God for you. Go seek Him and share with your pastor your experience. You will both be blessed!

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Nature, Poetry, Spiritual growth

Transfigured Rock

What if I told you a story about myself?

Once I was frozen in my feelings. Our alcoholic family of origin lived by the Alcoholic unspoken, but strictly enforced, rules of “Don’t think,” “Don’t talk,” “Don’t feel.” When I began attending Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings and Al-Anon I started breaking all of those rules. It was as if I was “breaking out of an inner prison” as I first wrote in 1982.

Someone at a Christian group told me about this book. The first time I read “Codependent No More” I bought my sister a copy and told her, “She lived in our house. She got in our heads. She wrote it all down!” I was truly amazed that someone else on earth not only understood the life in our house on Skyview Lane, but published what she knew!

There is a hillside on the way to my house now that is studded with stones. When the temperatures get frigid, as they are right now, the water might drip from the stones, but it quickly freezes into bars. It often reminds me of the prison I once lived in.

The stone that was once my heart has thawed and been healed in so many profound ways. I would be hard pressed to list all of those ways! I have been learning to think and feel and talk in appropriate ways for many years now. I do not ever want to go back to the ways of my upbringing. I spent hours in sessions of therapy trying to untangle the mess that was made in me.

I see a woman in the rock.
In case you do not see her, here she is enhanced.

I am certain my husband and I made some mistakes while raising our children. We used to joke that they might one day need counseling as I have needed it. But “we did the best we could with what we knew at the time.” And I, too, believe that my parents did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Hope my children can understand how not having alcohol as a constant influence in our home set them free from many weird things.

Posted on in Nature, Poetry, Spiritual growth

Living Water Photos

As I wrote this poem on the other blog I was amazed at the photos ….

At the shores of Living Water
Hear crickets there

Flow of Living Water invites me deeper,
Quieter

Petrified Wood

I was struck while choosing these photos for my stand-and-tip blog how much the stone around the mouth of the water resembled petrified wood.

And then how much Grand Canyon itself looked like the petrified wood!

What an amazing creation!

Grand Canyon