Category: Spiritual growth

Posted on in Book quotes, Nature, Spiritual growth

Simple to Read, Harder to Do!

In her book 1,000 Gifts Ann Voskamp quotes Chesterton:

“Thanks are the highest form of thought  and gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

When I read this I saw thOUGHT. This is how I OUGHT to think. This is what I OUGHT to do. The part of the earth where I live is gloomy today. No sunshine in sight. This is one reason our best friends moved to New Mexico! Much more sunshine there.

The gloom is accentuated by naked deciduous trees. Somehow they look even skinnier this morning. The ground is mostly brown and gray, too. The recent record breaking rain is slowly making the grassy areas “green up,” that is unless the ground has just turned to mud as in my friend’s driveway! Mushy brown muddy goo.

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Gray sky, brown and gray tree skeletons, but this also reminds me that with this New Year turning of the calendar, I am also supposed to be renewed and resting. One young friend told me she had prayed the Lord would give her a word for the year 2019. She suggested I ask Him also. It seems He already did in my recent journaling and seeking His face. “Be still.”

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Except for the recent wind storms here, the trees are still. No leaves fluttering, not much fluid moving up and down the trunk. No fragrance of newly mown grass outside. The rose bushes are dormant. Even the snap dragons that were holding out with leaves and a few flower buds in the garden are looking shabby and going dormant.

How can I be still and just rest in all of this? Bob’s procedure is coming up in a few hours. But fretting will not help that. Me being still would create a better atmosphere for all. I learned from a recent hospital test he endured that I can accomplish little while the doctors are working their magic upon his body. So perhaps I can take that opportunity to practice being still. Not running out into the future of “What ifs” or the past of “If onlys.” Still in the present moment.

Thanks and gratitude in the stillness. Making that list of 1,000 Gifts to be thankful for feels forced and corny in the beginning. Later it becomes a lifestyle that enriches awareness and has the potential to bloom into gratitude. Help me be still and open my eyes and ears to thanks and gratitude.

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Posted on in Aging, medical treatment, Spiritual growth

A Calendar Quote

From my 2018 calendar produced by Sounds True, this quote from Kelly McGonigal:

“Our capacity to notice suffering, be moved, and respond is not just a form of caregiving or love – it is a form of courage.”

In February of 2018 this was the page on my calendar. As I learned more about my husband’s suffering from a critical illness I also learned more about caregiving, my capacity to notice suffering and the courage required to walk through that awful illness and recovery. Every day the calendar spoke to me and helped me.

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Similar calendar page

 

Recently we were made aware of the suffering of a 78-year-old widow. Living alone she had slowly let herself stop eating and drinking, falling into a deeper and deeper depression. When her family discovered her condition, she told wild tales of falling down the stairs. Said she did not want to bother anyone after she fell. She evidently waited three days to tell anyone. Weird thing was there was no bruising on her. No stairways that would let her fall head first, though maybe bounce on her bottom. CT scan showed no brain bleed or other problem. Her isolation, mental habit of worry and fret, lack of exercise and nutrition likely all contributed to her condition. She was hospitalized for several days to rehydrate her and get her stabilized. Then moved to a care facility to work on her strength, physical stability and mental capacity. They will eventually move her to a small apartment in the same complex.
When we went to help the family make sense and put into order her condo, everyone was stunned. The mailbox had not been opened for about 2 months. The dishwasher was overflowing with dirty dishes as were the kitchen sinks and counters. Broken and burned out light bulbs were in several places. When the light was returned to the laundry room, empty bottles of laundry soap, fabric softener and piles of soiled laundry along with broken glass were deep on the floor.
My first response was fear. Oh my! I better get back to walking or being in the pool at the YMCA or this could be my future. Especially if something happens to my husband. Then pity that she let herself despair to this point. I too suffered a bad bout with depression several years ago. When I worked my way out of it with therapy and loving care, I vowed to never let myself do that again. No matter what others do or how they behave, my mental health would be my #1 priority.
Then I was angry at her. And we are not even related. It has taken  a reminder from the calendar quote to bring me back to the point of noticing her suffering and having the courage to go see her. I want to be loving and non-judgmental. I do not live in her head, so I really do not know exactly the components of her suffering.
God help me to respond and be moved with Your love and the courage of the Lion of Judah.

Posted on in Book quotes, Faith, Family, Spiritual growth

Meanwhile, Back at the Soldier Crawl

ABIDE:  me with You, You in me , and flowing forth from me.

You are the vine, I am the branch. Our relationship, love, contacts create the tendrils that help me to cling, ABIDE.

Even at crochet group, I choose to abide. Even at the grocery I choose to abide. While listening to Bob and learning to hear, I choose to abide. 

While traveling a few years ago I found this wrought iron sculpture and remembered the book “Clinging” that I had been reading and ABIDE which I am still trying to learn. The tendril is clearly delineated. I want my tendrils tight and close with Jesus through the Holy Spirit.

Defined: “Tendrils are slender structures that coil around smaller objects to provide support for growing shoots.” So I went ahead and wrote the meditation/prayer outline for our weekly intercessors meeting.  The theme was abide, remain, stay, endure, dwell. I presented it the day before Bob and I went to the Convent for an Advent Quiet Day. Emilie Griffin wrote “Prayer is clinging, not only that we cling to God, but that He clings to us.” We prayed that the persons on our Topics List would cling to God for all of their needs.

At the Convent we were each assigned a room for our personal use during the day. The sign on my door had a quote from Jan L. Richardson: “The season of Advent means there is something on the horizon the likes of which we have never seen before . . . .What is possible is to not see it, to miss it, to turn just as it brushes past you . .  So stay. Sit. Linger. Tarry. Ponder. Wait. Behold. Wonder. There will be time enough for running. For rushing. . . For now, stay. Wait. Something is on the horizon.”

I was gobsmacked!   Abide   Remain  Stay  Endure  Dwell  Stay  Sit  Linger  Tarry  Ponder  Wait  Behold  Wonder all within 24 hours!

How are you spending your Advent Season?

Hopefully you are able to shed cares and move towards the silence that re-creates.

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Nature, Spiritual growth, Traveling

Sword and Shield

Ephesians 6 teaches us about the full armor of God to use for spiritual warfare. Paul wrote that we should not only dress in our armor, but “take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God and the shield of faith with which we can quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.”

This is not the sword of King Arthur. These weapons are “mighty for the pulling down of strongholds.” (1 Corinthians 10:4) There are several ways to memorize the verses about the armor. One is to recite them while doing something like exercises you must count. Another is to envision dressing yourself in them every morning. I like to put them on head to toe and then the hand pieces. Some teach the belt comes first.  I envision the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the belt of truth, and gird your loins in truth (as if putting on panty hose, you remember those, right?). Shod your feet with the preparation of the Gospel of peace. Put on the robe of righteousness that Jesus bought for you. Take up the sword and shield and stand. And having done all, stand and pray!

Once we were in Smoky Mountain National Park driving the Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail just outside of Gatlinburg. This is a spectacular drive that begins up in the mountains and follows Roaring Fork river. There are many parking areas to get out and explore spectacular views of rivers, rocks, tumbling water, old buildings, overall fun.

Imagine my surprise when we parked and stepped out in the parking lot to this rock: IMG_2333

After years of putting on the armor this is an image I will never forget. Truly a treasure in plain sight!

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Posted on in Amazing Creations, Nature, Spiritual growth

Quietness? Trust?

Isaiah 30:15a is what Baptists would call my “life verse.”

In returning and rest I am saved; in quietness and trust is my strength.

The remainder of the verse says “BUT YOU WOULD NOT.” Daily I am challenged to enter the morning this way or stick in the WOULD NOT arena.

For example, the dryer broke last night and there were two loads of wash waiting for it’s warm air to fluff them. I hung wet sheets on the basement lines and began to ponder with my husband what to do about the situation. We found no obvious cause for the failure to work.

Posted my situation on Facebook. One friend came up with a trustworthy repairman to call.

This morning I wondered how to proceed? I have a birthday lunch appointment in another area of town at 11:30. Cancel? Proceed? Pray and get quiet. And here came the Isaiah verse. “In returning and rest I am saved; in quietness and trust is my strength.”

Inhale in returning and rest I am saved. Exhale in quietness and trust is my strength. Quiet my   mind. Quiet my heart. Listen and rest. Glancing out the window I saw a white cloud scudding across a brilliant blue sky. High winds in the forecast today and that cloud was bookin’ it. And then the cloud was gone.

poof… as if it had never been here. “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” NIV Ps 19:1

Return to the quiet Molly Lin. Rest and trust that my life is in His care. Quietly push back the cares and concerns and stay present. Here. Now.

There is a quote attributed to both Winston Churchill and Mark Twain, so obviously, no one is certain who said it first! “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

So took my shower and decided to adopt that wait and see attitude towards the day. Called repairman and left a message to please call me. Another friend offered to dry the soaking wet towels at her house. Set that up. Repairman called and could meet me late this afternoon after my luncheon appointment. Sweet! And there was still time left in the morning to write this.

The God of Creation has me and each situation I face. If only I will return to Him to rest in quietness and trust I will find salvation and strength to meet each situation.

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Hillsong United states it so very well for me. Enjoy!

Posted on in Nature, Spiritual growth

Grow On!

Grow On! ©1994 by Molly Lin Dutina

 
Wild the wind that sends the leaves aloft
Gleefully they chatter, “I’m free! I’m free!”
‘Falling’ leaves of autumn
Travel far from their beginning
Mixing with a flock of birds
As we, all earth bound, fail to see
Which is bird and which is leaf.

Mighty Force of God, capture me in Your updraft
Hurl me headlong in Your love
Drift me sideways with the angels
Take me far from all complacency
Where the familiar dulls my senses
Gently land me back at the place
On my Pilgrim Journey path where
You meet me with new courage
To grow on.

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Posted on in Memories, Spiritual growth

Ask Y or Yield?

Many years ago when faced with the fibromyalgia health situation I realized I had the opportunity to ask “WHY?” or to become a Y – yielded to God in the circumstance. Thus began my observation of Yield signs. This one in Ireland brought me up short as I do not read or speak Gaelic, yet I knew exactly what it meant!

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Yes those signs are all around us! Yield can be defined as to concede, surrender or relinquish; to surrender voluntarily one’s right, privilege, etc. In that time of deciding whether to just ask Why or become a Y,  I often read where others had asked God, “Why me?” and often the response was “Why not you? Who better?”

To become a Y I needed to release my judgement of the situation and raise my hands in surrender to God. I had to yield to my Savior and my God.

In 1993 I came across a cartoon called 9 Chickweed Lane. I will just describe it to you because if would cost me $35 to place it in this blog! Frame 1: This guy is walking along. Frame 2: He comes upon a sign. Frame 3: He stops to read it; it is a yield sign. Frame 4: He drops to one knee and bows. That is how I try to respond now when I see a Yield sign. God knows I need object lessons to keep me on track! So each time I see

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I try to remember to bend the knee of my heart and bow to the Trinity.

 

God has always been with me regarding the fibro. I had the opportunity to create and run a support group for a number of years at a local hospital. The diagnosis has opened many opportunities to encourage other people with the same diagnosis to press on and find their best self as they travel through and with the experience. We have each had to learn how to yield when there is a symptom flare up. I even wrote a talk on how to have a flare with flair!

The next time you are faced with a situation where you begin to ask why, consider becoming a Y and see where that leads. As my mother used to sing, “You’ll never walk alone!”

 

Posted on in Spiritual growth, Traveling

Structured or Unstructured?

There is an old saying that if you aim at nothing you are bound to hit it. While walking in my friends’ subdivision in Corrales, New Mexico, before the area was fully developed, I came across this image and was pierced with conviction.

There are so many areas of life that are our personal responsibility. How are you at SELF CARE? Most women in America have a lousy track record with self care. We tend to always put others and the needs of the many above our own. When was the last time you took time for self examination, (and I do not mean for lumps or growths) I mean for spiritual and emotional well-being. I learned many years ago that I am personally responsible for myself. Not my husband, not my children, not my family of origin or the pastoral staff at church. Me responsible for me. So how are you doing with that practice?

So back to the image – it seemed as if each rectangle could outline one area of my life: exercise, Bible reading, prayer and mediation, finding joy, study, crochet, cooking, journaling, gardening, small group meeting, church attendance, play, fellowship with friends, family gatherings, marriage building, self examination, confession etc., etc.NewMexico-50

Do you have a plan? In her recent book Talking as Fast as I Can Lauren Graham wrote:

I still find that, in general, having a plan is, well,
a good plan. But when my carefully laid plan laughed at me,
rather than clutch at it too tightly I just made a new one,
even if it was one that didn’t immediately make sense.
In blindly trying a different path, I accidentally found one that worked better.

Can you be this amenable with reality? First plan does not work. Don’t spend time beating yourself up over supposed failure. Just make a new plan that is more in line with reality and possibility. If it does not make sense at first, try it anyway and find the way towards your goals. This is not New Year Resolution talk. This is for self discipline and spiritual growth, well being and overall joy in living. For several years I made a list of those goals and re-read it once a month to see how I was doing towards balancing the activities.

Find a way towards your fulfillment.

Posted on in Marriage and Memories, Memories, Spiritual growth

Wowsers!

img373Forty eight years ago today I married the absolute love of my life! We had no idea what the future held, but we have been determined to do the future together!

img389We went from a wedding in Live Oak Park, (where we had to break up the Saturday morning football game for the ceremony to take place) to a reception with cake, champagne and beer at a hotel, to an overnight honeymoon out of town so the family from Ohio would go home. Then we were back to classes for Bob and back to work for me.

Now two children, three grandchildren and forty eight years later, we are still celebrating our love! No longer spring chickens in the park, but happier than ever!Cowles-2266I love you dearly, my sweet husband. May we be graced with many more years of happiness in plain sight, with you cracking jokes continuously and you rarely laughing at my jokes!

 

Posted on in Amazing Creations, Nature, Spiritual growth

The Wise Turtle and Bloom

Turtle and Bloom © 09-07-21 Molly Lin Dutina

I came upon a turtle at the pond today. I missed her completely the first time I walked past. She was totally camouflaged by duck weed. The lily leaves were withering and the ones left standing placed shadows around her similar to the shape of her shell.

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I took one photo and drew closer to the water’s edge for another, hoping she would not slip into the water and vanish completely from my sight.
I posed no threat as she remained in her position on the log. I began to realize that she must be a very old turtle by her size.

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As I changed my position along the shore, I could see her more clearly. I began to notice the lily leaves, first as obstacles to my photographic efforts, and then as tattered, themselves old from a hot summer of sun and storms and wind. I was reminded of the poem I wrote at the Nature Center 19 years ago about the lily pads, (for the complete poem see the Stand and Tip blog) and the subsequent admonition from the Lord to me, “Perhaps I could ask you just to be a lily leaf. Fill up with mercurial spheres and overflow. Stand and tip. Ponder this My lily shield.” Here I am at the same location these many years later, seeking solace and direction at my current age in my current state.

The next photo attempt brought the lovely lily bloom into my photographic range. I had seen a dropped petal in the weeds along the shore line. It was fresh and somewhat velvety as I placed it between folds of paper in my journal.

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When I tried to frame the next photo the blossom made for good composition. Tired leaves, old turtle, flower blooming, though fading. Suddenly I was looking at a mini portrait of my life in the very frog pond that inspired me so many years ago. I have been wrestling with the topic of aging and the pain and distress that seem to be increasing in my body as I age.

2 COR 4: 16-18 came to mind: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

I had recently mentioned to Bob that I do not like to grow white roses as the petals begin to darken with the slightest bruising. Here I see a creamy lily flower bearing the beating of sun, wind, and storms yet barely showing the effects in her waxy petals. The aging turtle remained on the log, still enjoying her sunbathing, unperturbed by one woman on the shore taking digital photos. The lily leaves tattered, yet most still erect on their flexible stalks, able to gather a summer shower and tip when the pad is full.
At first glance my negative mind set cries, “Just look at her! Surrounded by decay and destruction! Duckweed hanging on her lovely shell. Leaves decaying and spoiled all around her! All alone on that log!” Then as I ponder I see her wisdom caused her to cover her shell with duckweed to blend in, her courage in taking a sunbath even if the other turtles choose not to, and regardless of her surroundings she is looking up, even now, the changes in my attitude begin. Wisdom, courage, and keep looking up! Yes, as one author said, “I need me some of that!”

turtlelcloseup5by7Upon closer inspection I am able to see the lovely colors in her neck, the awesome nails and webbing in her feet. The coloring continues around the under-edge of her shell into her legs. Most importantly, I realize she is looking up, as I am called to do, fixing my eyes upon things eternal. Letting go of the obvious pain and aging issues I am able to relax on my favorite bench and simply soak in the pond activity: belching frogs, passing humans, bird song and noonday joy.