There is a trail we often walk at Harsha Lake, which we have always called East Fork Lake. It is truly our favorite trail though there are few wildflowers there. Recently we noticed a tree had fallen across the stream. We commented how sad it was that this tree would mess up the photos we take trying to capture the changes in the water.
We returned to our trail a few weeks later and wow was I surprised! This pandemic struggle has been very difficult for me emotionally. I guess I am what is referred to as a melancholic depressive. I want to be an optimist, but I am more like Eeyore!
So there is the fallen tree. Sprouting leaves now in the sun and sudden heat of 80 degrees, constantly watered by the stream.
This tree is not upright as we are accustomed to seeing them grow. It must still be rooted though! Obviously, I have no idea how long the tree can survive. But I am going to take this image as a reminder to hope. Hope that a new day will come. Hope that until then, we are sustained by our loving Father.
Happy are those whose “delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law they meditate day and night. They are like trees planted by streams of water, which yield their fruit in its season, and their leaves do not wither. In all that they do, they prosper. “ Psalm 1: 2-3
Reading Facebook the other day I came across this quote.
How, then, shall we live the life of prayer without ceasing? By quiet, persistent practice in turning all of our being, day and night, in prayer and inward worship and surrender, toward him who calls in the deeps of our souls.
Thomas Kelly
Inward surrender. Yes. I need me more of that. So frustrated. Tried to buy a car. Since it is likely the last new car I will ever purchase we decided to go for the interior I wanted. They told us, “No problem. We can get that brought in from another dealer.” Well, big problem. No one else had one. So, “No problem! We can order that from the factory.” So whenever the factory reopens and is able to make that on the line, we will eventually have a new car. Thought for certain I could use up at least a week or two learning the electronics of a new car. Grateful we have the means, but no distraction from a new car any time soon.
Oh yes! Bob agreed that I could get a dog if I wanted. We had to put our aged beagle down a few years ago. I miss her to this day. So I began looking on line for a dog. The tiny one I was most interested in is oh, 2-3,000 dollars. Nope. Can’t see that happening and there were none available now. Could send a deposit and wait on a litter. Have never spent that much money on an animal companion. Surely there are some dogs in shelters waiting for our home.
Guess again! Shelters closed because of pandemic. The one I am most drawn to came from a hoarding situation and they have no idea when she might be ready to adopt out. There are plenty of big (40 lbs. plus) pit bull mixes. No thanks. Bob doesn’t want a tiny dog that yaps all the time. A new dog to nurture, to cuddle with, to train.
So our daughter met a dog that seemed perfect. He was being fostered at the same home where her new adopted dog came from. The foster mom thought we would be a great match. We applied. Very excited. Within a few hours we were denied the dog. Never saw that coming!! We do not have a fenced yard. It is VERY hilly and would be next to impossible to fence. His bio said he would need another dog to live with. No other dog here.
Inward surrender. Yes. I need me more of that. Surrender to WHAT IS, rather than hanging my hopes on what could be. Once I was directed to a powerful book entitled Radical Acceptance. Yes, I need to go to that place again. That motivated me to try to remember a quote I used for many years to remind myself to surrender to the Lord.
William Law wrote a book entitled A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life. I first read it in 1983. I found the title from a journal entry I wrote when our daughter was 7 and our son was 4. ANCIENT history!
Stand turned to a patient, meek, humble, resignation to God when your own impatience, wrath, pride and irresignation attacks yourself. This is a higher and more beneficial performance of duty than when you stand turned when attacked by the passions of other people. Wholly give yourself to be helped by the mercy of God. Patience to expect it all from God.
Nothing brings you so near to divine relief as the extremity of distress.
Give myself to be helped by the mercy of God. Especially when my own impatience, wrath, pride and irresignation attacks ME. I did not remember the quote in that context. Still earning, thirty-seven years later.
Radical acceptance.
Patient, meek, humble resignation to God. Higher and more beneficial performance of my duty.
“Nothing brings you so near to divine relief as the extremity of distress.”
Okay, we went out to one store with masks and our list. Then another day another store with our masks. Early hours reserved for seniors. Then one other day, another store with our masks. In fact, we are not going any place without our masks. It seems as if only 50% of the people out there are wearing masks. Shopping was missed for two months, but it is not all it was cracked up to be.
Boring is an understatement. I miss our church life. I miss my friends at Senior Center crochet and knit group. I miss my friends from the Convent. Heard yesterday via Facebook that one person there tested positive. That is terrible news as most of the sisters are older than me and I feel old as dirt at 69.
Are you fed up with Zoom meetings? That is all we have had here for Bible study group and weekly prayer group. I am grateful we have that, rather than nothing. Compared to real life meetings, it just doesn’t make a very palatable substitute.
I, personally, found last weekend very disturbing. Videos on every channel of people crowding each other at resorts and beaches and boardwalks. It made we wonder “What are they thinking? Do they not believe that over 90,000 people have died of Covid-19?”
So I am going to stick with Dr. Fauci. Let’s wait 10 days and see where infection rates stand. Betting there is a rise in many, many places after this que será, será attitude.
So what did I buy? Probably the best find was iron on interfacing. I used up most of what I had purchased for a project using old t-shirts to make a quilt. The interfacing went into masks to provide another layer of filtration. If we decide to isolate totally again, I will need that interfacing to work on that project. Read, keep from losing my mind!
So this afternoon America topped over 100,000 dead from Corona virus. We are due to watch a space launch in a couple hours. This is a weird time we are living in.
Please wear a mask and stay well. And yes, the bulk of our shopping is still done with curbside pick up.
I heard a radio program a while ago about prisoners and release and ankle monitoring. The comment that struck me was the decision about electronic monitoring is based upon the “readiness to change level” of the prisoner. I have no idea what the criteria is for that, but it struck a chord in me.
This pandemic has changed our lives. I think many aspects have been changed forever. What is YOUR readiness to change level?
There are so many things that we in America CAN live without. Are we ready to release those things? Think about it! If your gateway to peace and freedom was based on what you were ready to let go of, what would you be willing to do differently?
Yes, I miss wandering through a grocery store and hitting the mark down bins for deals. I miss going into a grocery store period. But could I live without that experience? Yes, perhaps not happily, but yes. Not even mentioning other shopping.
Then the hot topics of social distancing and wearing masks. I heard about a woman who threw a sheet over her daughter so she could hug her safely. Yes, I am about ready to do that, especially with those Grandgirls!
April 3, 2020; Blue Ash, OH, USA; Cheryl Norton, of Blue Ash, hugs her daughter, who is an ICU nurse working the front lines during the new coronavirus pandemic, Friday, April 3, 2020. Norton so much wanted to hug her, so she put a covering over her so she could hold her tight, just for a moment. After this hug, Cheryl dropped the covering in the garage. It will lie there for three days before she washes it in hot soapy water. And she, of course, washed her hands. An involved process for a hug. Mandatory Credit: Liz Dufour/The Enquirer via USA TODAY Network
“An involved process for a hug.” Not too hard for me! I get it. Yes, I am thinking I need to wash the sheets I used to cover the plants when killer frost came through and keep them folded on the porch for when I CANNOT stand it any longer and need to hug!! Are you with me?
I miss our church family. When I recently heard one of our Pastors on our church YouTube Sunday broadcast pray, “Dear Gracious and Heavenly Father,” I nearly burst into tears. Just miss our family so much. My husband and I are both older and both have health risk factors. We may very well be the LAST ones to attend church when it reopens. I do know, I will spend eternity with these folks. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV2011) Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Stay calm as we all discover just how very much we need to change!
Well last week was a tiring week. Wednesday (20/5/6)I began having pain between my shoulder blades and noticed some shortness of breath. Thursday both continued. Friday (20/5/8) morning coming up the stairs from sewing I was really short of breath. Also had a cough that was unusual. Finally called doctor in the afternoon. After long phone interview with nurse was told to go to ER. That was about 5 PM. Not Covid, no fever and was not even tested as I did not meet the criteria.
Blood work, chest x-ray, etc. kept coming back with good results. And then, “Oh by the way, we need to admit you.” WHAT!?!?!? Evidently there is a coronary score and I scored 4. If it had been 3 I could have gone home. Waited hour upon hour in the ER to be moved to the floor. Evidently they had to call in more nurses. Many had been furloughed due to lower hospital population because Covid criteria had cancelled elective surgeries, etc.
So by the time testing in ER was done, cafeteria was closed. I had missed dinner. They brought me a turkey sandwich, applesauce, cottage cheese and pudding. When you are hungry, it all tastes okay.
Finally got to bed at 2 AM on the floor. Scheduled Saturday morning for nuclear stress test. And yep, you got it! NPO – nothing by mouth because of testing. At nuclear medicine they had me drink a Sierra Mist sugar free and I got 4 peanut butter crackers. Tasty! Evidently that helps the nuclear medication move through your heart. Back up to my room and nope. Nothing to eat. Missed breakfast. When floor doctor came in she said, “Feed her!” While waiting for cafeteria to deliver lunch I was given strawberry yogurt. Yummy! Lunch was chicken pot pie (albeit, salt free because I was on cardiac floor) peach cobbler, iced tea. Mom would be proud. I was a member of the Clean Plate Club!!
The Nuclear Stress Test results were negative (I DO have a heart!!) and I was released at 1:30 PM Saturday. Bronchitis, steroids, inhaler. No antibiotic as no fever. Cough is better after steroids. Just. So. Tired. Now. after that lousy night with little sleep and short of breath. So all is well! And I will be also!
Am writing this Monday morning (20/5/11) and still short of breath. But so much better than Friday! And SO grateful to be home in our house, our own bed, my own shower and the glory in our garden and yard!!
One of the biggest fears during hospital stay was lousy weather forecast with below freezing temperatures for many hours into Saturday morning. I insisted we cover most blooms with sheets before going to the ER. We have white iris with 30 some blooms and orange poppies in bloom. Not counting purple iris, columbine, bachelor buttons, etc. around the yard. The good news is we only lost one poppy bloom. That was all. Bad forecast tonight too as far as frost. Hoping for the best!
A friend recently pointed out that I am willing to use my brain power instead of telling God to take care of everything and just doing whatever I want to do. I wonder in this time of social uproar and unmasked people yelling in the faces of unmasked officers of the law protesting isolation and social distancing if perhaps sectors of America have not gone completely mad?
I am married to the Grandad you just might kill if you do not heed the scientific warnings about the spread of this virus. I am the Grandma you just might knock off with your carelessness. Is that what society at large wants? Just cull the herd and start with fewer numbers?
Sadly we may yet see armed persons entering grocery stores demanding all the meat on hand to be placed in their cars. Things are getting ugly out there. Rise up, people of God, and pray sanity and order back to America. May each of us ask for God’s help and use the good sense He gave us to endure through this trial.
My husband and I will be the last ones to go back to church. We are older and both of us have health factors. Until then, we will be praying and doing our best to fix our eyes on Jesus. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2) He is Wisdom from the Father. (1 Corinthians 1:30)
Darkness is tempting the world to throw aside wisdom. Don’t listen!
I so need this one today. Really struggling with the new reality of our lives in isolation, wary of disease, fighting depression. God knows. Sometimes tears are the best and sometimes singing.
If you have never heard this one, listen 3 times. So great!
When I’m feeling anxious in my head He tells me to come to him instead Come to him when weary (Weary) Come to him when low (When low) He will lift the burden, this I know (This I know) (Yeah I know I say)
Take my yoke upon you, learn from me (Learn from me) Take my yoke upon you and you’ll see (You’ll see) (You’ll see) Come to me, I’ll strengthen (Strengthen) Come to me, I’ll help (I’ll help) Come to me, I’ll still anxiety (Still anxiety)
So when I find that I have gone astray (When I’ve gone astray) I can go to him and he won’t send me away (He won’t sent me away) Come to me, I’ll strengthen (Strengthen) Come to me, I’ll help (I’ll help) Come to me and listen what I say (Listen to what I say)
Take my yoke upon you learn from me (Learn from me) Take my yoke upon you and you’ll see (You’ll see) Come to me, I’ll strengthen (Strengthen) Come to me, I’ll help (I’ll help) Come to me, I’ll still anxiety (Still anxiety)
Come (Come), come (Come), oh come (Oh to me) You better come to me, you better come to me Come (Come), come (Come), oh come (Oh to me) You better come to me, you better come to me Come (Come), come (Come), oh come (Come)
In 1975 we were expecting our first child. The photo below is from our first vacation to the Smoky Mountains. In 1982 we were learning about the Full Armor of God (Ephesians 6) and starting to teach Bible study together at our local church.
Oh I loved you in that creek bed
Full of gallantry and suave
My flashing debonair knight.
You didn’t even know
What holy armor was then.
And now my love for you
Far surpasses and encompasses
The emotions at that creek bed.
Father, show us how to flow together
To the glory of Your name.
You split the rocks with
A blade of grass and
A finger of ice.
Split our shells that we might
Merge in Your kingdom work.
1978 Before Kids
Now in 2020, our children are adults with children of their own. We are still learning more about how to walk together in the Spirit. As we celebrate our 50th year of being married by knight continues to court me, woo and win me with his humor and grace.
The Beethoven Akademie 1808 presentation by the Cincinnati Symphony Orchestra Sunday, March 1 was listed as occurring from 2:30-8:30 PM with a dinner break from 5-7 PM. What a surprise when we got tickets and decided to try this Beethoven marathon! The first performance during the first half is one of my favorite pieces, The Pastoral Symphony #6 in F Major. The Awakening (which I always think of as the awakening of Spring), the brook, Jolly Country Folk, THE THUNDERSTORM and the Shepherd’s Hymn are all in my memory bank. I promised my husband and the stranger sitting next to me that I would try to refrain from whistling the tunes!
The original production was the last public performance by Beethoven. One patron from 1808, Johann Reichardt, was quoted in the program as saying that he “found by experience that one might have too much even of a good thing.”
We were not certain we could last through all those hours of music. Thought we would try and agree not to shame each other if one of us wanted to leave. Each selection listed details including approximate duration. I was amazed the Pastoral was only listed for 39 minutes. It transports me in a way that I lose all track of time!
AH! Perfido borders on opera and I have no experience or interest in that. It was 15 minutes of interesting performance, but not as thrilling as my decades long friend, The Pastoral.
Then some sacred music. The Gloria interested me. Though sung in Latin, I am familiar with the words through my attendance at the Episcopal church. The Latin and the English were printed in the booklet side by side. The 11 minutes sent me scurrying to remember the prayer I had read by Ignatius, the concept of suscipe me….
Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and Thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.
Ignatius of Loyola
After the Concerto #4 featuring Inon Barnatan, who seemed to play effortlessly, we were ready to walk around and enjoy the dinner break. It was a lovely spring-like evening though the wind was a bit chilly. Back at the car we relished our homemade supper of favorite foods. After only a tiny discussion decided to return to Music Hall to find out how much more music we could endure in one day! We strolled the new park opposite Music Hall. Watched the city dwellers release their dogs in the dog park while they shared the latest with each other. It was such a delight to see sun in Cincinnati!
The #5 began with the lovely chords of duh duh duh duh https://youtu.be/_4IRMYuE1hI duh duh duh duh! Timed at 31 minutes. We decided we could stay for the Improvised Fantasia and then Fantasia for Piano Chorus and Orchestra (May Festival Chorus was terrific as were soloists!) The stranger next to me told me he would walk 5 miles to hear the last number. That was saying something since he also confided he was 80 years old!
To me, it was a once in a lifetime concert. No, I was not over immersed in Beethoven. Am still playing the 6th on my computer speakers as I write this!
I pray the Lord will Suscipe me into His arms one day with the melody of the Gloria or The Pastoral!
Life is too short to experience everything, but the human heart is big enough to resonate with everything that any other human heart has experienced.
BROTHER DAVID STEINDL-RAST
Seeing an old friend face-to-face was fun. We knew we only had a very short time to share, so we both cut to the chase and told what was most important to us. I was surprised when the first thing she shared was about my blog.
She is so inspired by what I write. She said it uplifts her and gives her a new point of view.
I was amazed. This gal is eleven years older than me. I have always thought of her as a better, stronger Christian. Yet she felt my writing was useful to her walk. Who knew?
Some folks never comment. I see only how many people looked at it, but not who.
One fellow at church asked me recently if I was still writing. I could not remember his name or even having spoken with him before. He did look vaguely familiar. Our church has grown to about 800 people with opportunities to worship three times a week. No wonder I lost track of him. Yikes!
We just never know the impact we will have upon others. These comments help inspire me to keep on publishing this blog.
Please keep reading! Comment when you can. I love the encouragement to continue sharing my journey with the mostly unknown folks out there. May you be blessed with a renewed sense of His Presence with us in every circumstance.
Treasures in Plain Sight, A Christian Blog 