There have been times the last few weeks when I was uncertain that I could take a deep breath. Wounding words have been flung at me with no explanation of their origin, seemingly no possibility of reconciliation that makes any healthy sense. Only texting offered. Most of us know you cannot resolve conflict with texting alone. I am always amazed at how the Lord can reach me even when I seem to be in a dark and dismal place. Recently (and often) He does it through the books I read.

Jodi Picoult wrote Wish You Were Here. This new novel is about life during the Covid pandemic, dreams and adventure, along with the horror of being a doctor treating Covid in NYC. In it she spoke of how land iguanas adapted to sea life. “Their lungs got bigger so they could take deeper breaths and sink deeper.”

Lord God, expand my lungs and help me to go deeper in prayer and center down silence, that peaceful place where You speak to my soul. I cannot change or fix the troubling situation, but I can draw nearer to You for comfort and wisdom and direction.

Again, Jodi wrote, “You can’t move forward without losing something.”

Perhaps lose the fantasy about what I wanted, the person I thought was under my roof? Get clear about the reality of who that person was and has become?

Letting go, letting go, letting go, like leaves that fall all around me in autumn. Nothing I can accomplish by clinging. Just let go and be at peace.

Each previous wounding episode I would say, “Take another step back, back away. Nothing more I can do here.” And so perhaps the time has come to truly step away and turn loose of all hopes, dreams, plans in relation to this person? In case you are wondering, Bob and I are just fine, thank you very much!

Shores of Living Water© 2018 Molly Lin Dutina

At the shores of Living Water
Hear crickets there
Flow of Living Water invites me deeper,
Quieter
Center in pure love
You died to give me radiant love
Your Spirit pulls me from the rubble of death
With Your power You breathe life into me
Help me live to You
Invade me at a greater depth
Use me as Your singing bowl
Your love and power going forth
Like sound waves in every direction
Bring the world into vibrating harmony

You said all weary and
Heavy burdened should come to You
Here we are
Please rest us in Your Presence

Breathing in You
Breathing out me
Your oxygen of Life
My troubles unpacked
Burdens taken from my arms
Cares cast and put down

Embers of my faith
Blown upon
Rekindled
Ignited
A light in the darkness
And darkness cannot put it out

Your call 
eclipses physical pain, even emotional pain
Straightens my spine
In service to You
Anointing by eternal power
Holiness of God in broken vessel
Yet renewed day by day
As Living Water
I yield to Your flow
The “i” seeks lowest ground
You in ascendancy.