24-10-7 Earliest Hour of Morning©Molly Lin Dutina

When all color is still black and white
Crows of accusation sound loudest
Seeming to echo my inner life

Then Light of God, Dawn of the Savior arrives
The Brightness of His glory reveals
Accusation is not reality

Crow caws become similar to Blue Jay warnings
Half-light is not truth
Sovereign from on high declares

Reality for what it truly is
Ambiguity clears

Little did I know this verse was to cushion me for what was to come this very morning. Yes, all hell broke loose again in the life of a loved one. That person suffers from mental illness. As often as we try to think it is over and things are well and healed now, wait for it, not mike drop, but boulder crashing down our mountain side. The illness cycles around again and we are each back in the throes of it.

As bewildering and scary as it is for us I know it must be so much more so for the family member. We are helpless to do anything but pray. Again we relinquish the person to Christ. Again ask the Holy Spirit to intervene. Once more asking the Father to break through the darkness.

As one song song lyric set declares, “I’m falling on my knees, offering all of me,”

https://www.youtube.com/embed/erQku5-O0Y0?si=tTTWiam8A7HGfiyF

We wait. We pray. We are cautious for our own well-being. We determine what we will or will not do this time around when the dust settles. We anguish over the ground lost. We cry out to the One who loves each of us best.

So hard not to accuse ourselves that we might have seen the signs earlier. At the same time, realizing there was nothing we could have done to avert the crashing. Feeling helpless is an apt description. I pray and wait . I hope and trust. I despair and repent of that. This is out of my hands.

It has always been out of my hands. When someone is out of their “right” mind I have little or not influence. I enlist prayer warriors and I try as best I can to just let go and get my focus back on Christ our Savior. Oh God, help us we pray.