"Is it true?"
"Is it kind?"
"Is it necessary?"

These are questions we ought to be asking ourselves in every conversation. I was reminded recently of a situation in my life where someone did not filter her comments in this way. I was deeply wounded by her comments.

As you may know my husband almost died in 2019. In 2021 we began to build a new house, smaller house, no steps. etc.. Prior to the house being finished I was gripped by a fear that went something like, “What if he dies before we move in?” I was involved in a weekly prayer group at our church. I asked my prayer friends to pray for me as I was having difficulty shaking off that fear. Time went on. Bob continued to gain strength and we moved into the house.

A couple months later we held an open house for others to come and see where we live now. One of the women from that prayer group took me aside and said, “See! Nothing happened.” The comment felt demeaning and condescending. Was it true? Yes. Was it kind? Not in my ears. Was it necessary? Not in the least.

Not everything we think needs to be said aloud to others.

With chronic illness you quickly learn that those who do not suffer from a chronic illness likely have no inkling what you go through. With the near death of a spouse you also learn that others who have not experienced it likely have no inkling what you go through.

I thank the Lord everyday that my husband lived through that awful illness and recovered so well. I am so grateful for those who prayed for me to stay strong as I helped nurse him back to a full life and was enabled with the help of their prayers to release my fears to the Lord God Almighty.

This incident marred any fondness in my heart for that lady. She has good points. I benefited some from knowing her. I just cannot bring myself to trust her, at least with my innermost needs.

I believe we need to take care with our words. This applies to me, also. James warns us in Chapter 1

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry James 1:19 NIV

I quoted Amy Carmichael on this very quote in another blog posting https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/3454