Have you ever waited for medical results? It is no fun. No matter how hard I try to relax all the What-if’s jump in the ring haranguing their point of view.

It is like being on Tenterhooks. Miriam Webster site says: “On tenterhooks” means “waiting nervously for something to happen.” The word tenter means “a frame used for drying and stretching cloth” and is related to tent, so being “on tenterhooks” compares the tenseness of the stretched fabric to the tension of nervous waiting. I thought a tenterhook was more like a meat hook!

The latest cardiac test was a 10 minute visit to the CAT scan machine. I kid you not, start to finish. Lie down. Put your arms over your head. Slide into the machine. Only twice was I asked to take a deep breath and hold it. Now I wait for the results.

My daughter was all in my face saying, “And if they post the results before your appointment you will be online trying to figure out what is next and getting all worked up!” Really, I do not think so.

There are only a couple of options. Live with the aneurysm as our grandparents did, oblivious to the presence of it and perhaps have it pop and drop dead. Not too bad a way to go. At least I would not be a vegetable in some ward.

If they want surgery then I have to decide if that is a yes or no from me. I have no cardiac symptoms. My blood pressure is being regulated with 3 prescriptions. The most reliable sources I have read, Mayo Clinic and Cleveland Clinic, say open heart surgery is what is needed to replace an aorta. Doesn’t that sound HUGELY invasive?

Twiddle my thumbs and wonder.

Instead, I have begun the age-old American coping mechanism of emotional eating. Doesn’t solve a thing, but it tastes mighty good. Until it doesn’t. Because I know this is not going to solve anything. I will stop before long. Besides, I work hard to keep that A1C down. Why spoil those results now?

There are new techniques being developed that are less invasive. They are already being used for abdominal aneurysms. Remember the saying, “Not quite ready for prime time”? They are just occasionally being used for the type of aneurysm I have. Not certain I want to be in the beginning group of patients if my cardiologist suggests it. These less invasive methods are not approved for use in the USA yet. There is also a high percentage of leakage from those. I have no leakage now.

The Book of Common Prayer has this lovely prayer:

Page 461 For Trust in God
O God, the source of all health; 
So fill my heart with faith in your love,
that with calm expectancy
I may make room for your power to possess me,
and gracefully accept your healing;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The results are in! Aneurysm measures 5 cm. Now I wait for my appointment with cardiologist in mid-September. Even this moment I am leaning towards do nothing and exit this earth however that may be.

Please pray the Lord will give Bob and me wisdom about all of this. His knee surgery is this Wednesday 7 AM.