I had difficult news last week that left me feeling breathless. The foot surgeon had done a CT scan of the toe he operated on a few years ago. (See https://wordpress.com/post/treasures-in-plain-sight.org/17091) The results are in. He needs to see me about REVISIONARY surgery. The bone did not heal properly around the steel plate. The scan read that I have loose screws. Bob said, “Well, we finally have proof of what I’ve known about you for years!”

I was breathless. You might remember I just had shoulder surgery in January of this year! The last surgery on this toe required 8 weeks on a knee roller, NO weight bearing. I did everything asked of me, yet the healing was not proper. I was immediately angry, dismayed, disappointed and full of questions.

Times that challenge us physically, emotionally, and spiritually may make it almost impossible for us to feel grateful. Yet, we can decide to live gratefully, courageously open to life in all its fullness.

BR. DAVID STEINDL-RAST

Since first getting this report, I have had a few days to calm down. I truly believe that nothing surprises my God. He is not dismayed by this news. If I begin to question, “Why now?” He knows. I often say, “God knows, and He ain’t telling.” He is with me/us in this. Bob, too, was startled by this news and immediately assured me he is right there with me in whatever lies ahead.

I think I need someone to take Lucky as a foster dog if this is indeed a required surgery. Bob has been so great about doing all of her care during the shoulder surgery recovery. The idea of having that foisted on him again overwhelms both of us!

Several years ago I found a key in a gift shop that was created with the word “Courage” upon it. I have been told over the years that I have great courage. The girl-child hovering in my soul is not so certain about that! Time to get that key out of the china closet and place it in front of me!

Just about the same time I found a stone engraved with the word strength in a different shop.

Yes,it is time to bring that back to the forefront, too! For me neither courage nor strength work unless I trust God. Trust begins with a T and ends with a T which reminds me of the cross. The word us is in the middle. Likely time to get out the Dremel that will engrave a stone and write trUSt upon one.

Again, I must ask myself if I will willingly surrender to the cross in order to allow my wishes to be crucified and the will of God done in my life. I do not need to understand the many things my heart wants to question about this. Just need to answer am I willing to follow where my Shepherd leads, knowing I am never alone, always accompanied?

My prayer and bracelet from a few years ago. I need constant, yielded, peaceful, joyful obedience to my Lord. So easy to pray. So easy to create in bracelet form. Another thing altogether to accomplish.

I will let you know how things go with all of this. In the meanwhile, I ask for your prayers for wisdom and grace to stay calm and listen for His voice of wisdom.

Grateful wants to reign in my heart. I will not bar it from doing so!